Conflicted

It was a cold night and having another female sleep in the same bed with me felt weird. I decided that I would ask Sam to clean out one of the rooms my dad didn't use in the house. Sam could build her a bed and some dressers, he was that handy type and I knew he would do it for me. That was the weird thing, I understood that Sam would do anything for me. That wasn't the problem but there was one thing I had to admit. The fact that I was promised to him was what bothered me but if that never happened I know it, Sam is the man I would have chosen on my own.

I just don't like the fact that he owns me, I don't like the system and the fact that Sam does is what bothers me; he swears by the system. That was the core of it all and it made me lash out at him, the possessive way he acted. I want him but not like this and that doesn't make sense. I find myself so conflicted about Sam, I hate myself for wanting him. I also hate myself for not wanting him, it's like a sick curse.

By the time I awoke I could smell breakfast, once I reached the kitchen I saw my dad and Sahara eating; she had cooked. The fluffy golden waffles made my stomach roar, I noticed she made scrambled eggs. She made hers perfect a lot of people think it's an easy thing but so many people mess up scrambled eggs but not her. They were fluffy and moist but not runny yet perfectly firm and yellow not white and yellow. I noticed she fried up some Andouille sausage which were my favorite kind, it was like this girl knew me and how to please me. She immediately jumped up and rushed over to make me a plate, which felt weird.

"Sahara don't, I can do it."

"It's my job my purpose now is to serve you; don't take that away from me. I know you think your being kind but you're really just leaving me with nothing if you do that. I really want to, especially for someone with a heart like yours." I could tell she meant it so I let her make my plate and serve it to me. She smelled so good, she was so happy to do it. She even poured the perfect amount of syrup over my waffle not too much as to drown it but not too little either and to my surprise she reached for the kind I liked. There was two bottles sitting out, that thick and really strong flavored syrup my dad likes and the smooth mild kind I liked; she just knew my style. She sat back down quickly.

"Where is your mother?" Sahara asked, her question surprised me but then again she probably noticed she wasn't around.

"She isn't here, she disappeared a year ago but I know in my heart she ran away, escaped."

"Don't ever say that." My father said he seemed angry he hated for me to talk like that in front of strangers, he was a private type of person. Whenever the subject of her came up he would get defensive. I was not surprised when he got up and walked out.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize it was a sore topic." Sahara tried to hold my hand when she spoke, I could not tell if she was just one of those really kind people or clever and manipulative. I'm not the type who can just act so caring towards someone I didn't know, to try to hold someone's hand like that, a stranger but people are all different.

"Don't worry about that, my mom is safe." I pulled my hand away from her.

"You know where she is?"

"Let's just say she is living a different life now. A life that wasn't chosen for her but one she choose for herself."

"You admire her don't you?"

"I understand her choices, most people think either she was kidnapped or turned her back on the pack. Some whisper call her a traitor but I get it, I always have."

"I guess you have her spirit. I was wondering about something but I didn't want to upset you."

"What?"

"That Sam guy, he is so thoughtful and I was just wondering; do you realize that?"

"Sam is not thoughtful, he is just very intelligent and you're confusing the two."

"Does that work?"

"What?"

"Not acknowledging his good qualities but highlighting the bad, does it work? I use to do that with Jake it didn't work I'm still crazy about him."

"I don't do that." Sahara just looked at me like she was looking through me and she was because I was lying through my teeth and she called me on it.

"Do you have a screwdriver round here?" I heard a deep voice and it made me jump.

I saw Sam standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his body looked so long and strong.

"What are you doing in my house Sam?"

"Your dad mentioned you had a body slave now but I know all the rooms are closed off and there's really nothing set up for her and you like your space so." Sam paused he seemed frustrated. "I'm just getting the room ready, clearing it out. I stayed up last night making a bed and some things."

"You didn't need to do that Sam, no one asked you."

"You don't have to ask Lele." Sam seemed heartfelt. I loved it when he said Lele, it was so Sam. No one else called me that but him and I knew it was a pet name, he usually called me that when he felt vulnerable or something.

"Well I didn't ask you Sam."

"That's fine Leah because you were going to. So what's your favorite color I could paint your walls for you sweetie?" Sam was now addressing Sahara. It irked me something awful when he referred to her that way (sweetie), I know it's just Sam being nice but hell no.

"I like peach but thank you so much, you don't have to do this; it's awfully thoughtful."

"What you're doing for my bitch, I mean girl; that's thoughtful. By the way I'm Sam."

"I'm Sahara, thank you again for doing all this."

"It's nothing got to stay busy right."

The more she thanked him the worst I felt for not thanking him. Sam gave me one last look like he was waiting for something then he walked out.

"My sewing machine is back at my old cabin, you mine if I go there to make your dress." I wondered why she couldn't just bring it here why make the dress there that could take all day she is a body slave, their supposed to be available to you but I didn't mine, it just felt peculiar; maybe she wanted to get out for a bit.

"Yes of course, you're doing me a favor." I said as graciously as I could and that made her entire face expression change to that curious one she would sometimes do.

"What happened to you?"

"What?"

"You love women but you hate men. You're so kind to me and you acknowledge any good thing I do."

"Why do you think something happened to me?"

"What happened? Look whatever it is let it go then you can really live."

"Sahara why don't you head out to start that dress."

"Sorry for going too far Leah, you just remind me of well myself at one time." Sahara walked out slowly, that girl knew how to hit a nerve.

I rushed to my room, Sam was standing in the hall. I heard him follow me but I acted as if I didn't. He shut my door behind himself. He grabbed me so quickly it caught me off guard, he threw me down on the bed. His strength scared and amazed me all at once. He pushed my legs apart with force. His large body leaned over me till we were face to face. Eye to eye, I felt my heart race. He slowly slid his strong hand up my thigh. I felt my body shiver and my breathing started to get a little erratic.

He placed his hand on my vagina and this shocked me. Sam had never touched me like this and it came from nowhere.

"You're pussy is mine Leah, that's what you need to understand and here's why." Sam slid my panties aside, he ran his finger slowly along my clit. I had never been touched there it felt good and the way he never broke eye contact while doing it felt erotic. "You see how wet you're getting, that's it right there; you want me."

Sam suddenly pulled away from me and just walked out. I didn't know what to think, Sam had just touched me not only that he saw my most private area. Sam touched my pussy and I was wet for him, I could not stop thinking about it. I wanted more but then again who is Sam to just touch me like that? Sam is a man and men take what they want, is that how he felt like I was susceptible to the taking. I felt so conflicted. Anger at what just happened yet thrilled at what just happened, it was a new feel.

Authors note- Short chappie because the next will be kind of long and detailed. Please review people, so many read and follow this story but they don't take time to review. However reviews are what inspires us writers, the next chapter will be up tomorrow if you review. Thanks