Title: No Advanced Warning

Author: Darkstarspanky aka Carter

Summary: SG-1 gate to a planet with Ancient technology. With this technology, they get themselves into a rather...interesting situation.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Anything that happened previous to "Heroes I & II"

Disclaimer: Not mine...yadda, yadda, yadda...I only own the SG-1 DVDs and a shipload of tapes...

Author's Note: First off, I want to thank my reviewers- Sci Fi Fan Gillian and CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur along with all the previous reviewers! This chapter will have Teal'c in it, like I promised. More Jack/Sam and Daniel/Janet moments. I think I'll deal with Pete here, too. I will flat out say I don't like him. They can deny it all they want, but he is a stalker! Okay, here's the next chapter!

Sam's POV

Telling someone a huge secret that you've been hiding for years is not something easy to do. We all know that. As I opened my mouth to start my story, I felt like we were being watched by someone. I felt that maybe the mess hall wasn't the best place to share something this big.

"Sir, before I say anything, do you think we could go up to the surface?" I paused and leaned in closer, "I feel like we're being watched, and I don't want anything to get around base..."

He looked at me for a moment, probably wondering what the big deal was. He didn't know that the secret I held could quite possibly change the lives of everyone on our team. He nodded and we started to get up from the table.

"So much for that cake date..." he said as we got up.

"Well, we could always bring it with us. I don't think it'll matter if we eat cake outside."

I gave a slight smile. A smile that was more out of nervousness than anything else. He gave me a nervous smile back. He was never one to smile like that. He probably thought I was going to tell him I was pregnant or something. Only with his child...uh...I did not just say that...oh, good. I didn't. It was just in my mind.

We made our way to the lift, and once in I noticed the air was tense. How could I not notice? I probably scared the poor guy to death. If he hasn't died from anticipation, then I don't think he'll die from what I'm about to tell him. At least I hope he doesn't. I don't think that would look too good on my record. 'Killed CO from shock of secret' hmm...that doesn't sound right. Oh, well.

"So...is it really that big of a secret that you can't say it in the middle of a completely empty mess hall?"

He lied. It wasn't completely empty. There were, like, three people there. That sounds stupid, doesn't it? Eh...it's not like I can always be trusting. There's a point in a woman's life where she needs to start being paranoid. Even though I'm not technically a woman at the moment, I guess this is the beginning of my paranoid stage. Bugger.

"Ah...I'd like to tell you it isn't, but it would just be a lie."

"Gee, Carter. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"No, Sir. It's just...like I said, I've never told anyone before. Not even Dad knows."

"Dad doesn't know? Wow. Now I really feel special. Not only did I get an interesting wake-up call, but I get to be the first one to hear some deep dark secret of yours. I didn't think you had any deep dark secrets."

I had to smile at that. I have to give him credit, he does know how to lighten the mood.

"Holy crap, Carter. You're not pregnant are you?"

What did I tell you? I betcha he'll be asking be if I already have a kid for the next question.

"No, Sir. I'm not pregnant. Don't you think you guys would have noticed mood swings or something if I had been? And no, I don't already have a kid at home in case you were wondering."

I could have sworn I saw a look of relief pass over his face. But he went back to his impassive facial expression too quickly for me to be completely sure. I scoffed. Men. Oh, I must have scoffed loudly enough for him to have heard me. He gave me a questioning look. I shook my head, showing there was nothing to worry about.

"You aren't deathly ill or anything like that either, are you?"

Aw, he's such a sweet guy when he isn't being the hard-assed military leader. And what a nice ass he has.... Oy...I really need to stop thinking like that if I expect to get through this confession without laughing in his face.

"No. It's nothing bad, not really. It more of something...weird."

I didn't know what to say that would make him understand. I honestly couldn't find the right word. Why is my mind failing me again?! I really think God has it in for me. I seriously hope this isn't his way of telling me I'm not going to heaven. Thank you...we finally reached the surface, and were outside with our cake.

"So...this big secret?"

"Yes, Sir. The big secret...I have no idea where to begin."

"Obviously, the beginning. I doubt the story will make much sense without it."

I chuckled. It was true. A story can't make much, if any sense without a beginning. Why does it have to be so hard? Fine! I'll just keep it simple.

"Alright. The 'big' secret is that I've known about the Ancient genetic code for quite some time. Meaning I knew I had it."

Good job. Nice, short, succinct. Hopefully you won't have to get into that many details.

"Why is that such a big secret? I mean, you've been a part of the Stargate Program for how many years now? It would be impossible to not know some of these things."

I guess I left something out. Quite possibly the most important piece of information in the entire confession. Whoops.

"Oh...I think I left something out. What I meant was, I've known about it since before I got involved with the Stargate Program. I found out about it around this age, actually."

"Uh...how? There was no possible way you could have known..."

"It was because of my mother that I knew. That's why it's always so hard to talk about her. If she could only see that I'm able to use the device her people created...she never would have dreamed that I would see it..."

I trailed off. I found a lot harder than I imagined. It wasn't like he would think of me as a freak, but I knew it would make for an awkward situation. What I wouldn't do for a good interruption right now. But I guess I needed to get this over with. Damn.

He put a hand on my shoulder, letting me know it was okay. I wished that he would just hug me, but I knew now was not the time for inappropriate thoughts. It might actually slip out this time. Wouldn't that be lovely? Two big confessions from me in one day. I'm like Usher. God help me. (A/N: I know that song wouldn't have been out yet, but oh well.)

"She told me a few weeks before she died. That's why it hit me so hard. I figured out later on that she wasn't just part Ancient, but full Ancient."

He stopped me. I wasn't sure why at that point, but my question was answered soon enough. I guess patience pays for something.

"How? I mean, didn't they leave Earth like...several million years ago?"

"Well, not all of them. For instance, we found Ayiana even after they'd left Earth and moved on. I'm not exactly sure how she survived long enough to be my mother...but she was, and she passed everything onto me. When I saw Ayiana, I knew. I felt the connection, but I couldn't communicate it. I think she may have been my aunt or something..."

Well, I don't know about the aunt thing, but she could have been. She reminded me of my mother just a little bit. Maybe distantly related. Who knows?

"Oh..."

Gee, is that all he could say? Well, I guess I can forgive him since I was the one to drop the bombshell.

"I can see through that façade, you know. You aren't as dumb as you claim to be. It's not something everyone has noticed, but I see it when I look in your eyes...you think it's funny."

Granted, sometimes him acting stupid makes me smile, but why does he hide it? He doesn't have to hide it from me. I wouldn't tell anyone. It would be another one of our big secrets. It's nice to have secrets with a man you love...oops. Too much of an admission there. Oh, well.

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about..."

"Sure. And I'm the Easter bunny."

"For all we know, you could be."

"Alright, just give me this: be yourself when you're around me, okay? You don't have to do it all the time. I figured it out when you would always ask for explanations. I saw the look in your eyes when I explained it, I could see you understood. As for the briefings...I don't know about that."

He started to fidget. Good. At least I'm making him uncomfortable enough that he'll listen to me.

"Ah...so, how's Pete?"

So much for him listening to me.

"Well, he's dead now, so probably not so good."

"What?"

"Oh, don't worry. He died after I broke up with him. There's no chance it was the 'Black Widow' curse that killed him. I didn't have any feelings left for the guy,"

He looked at me strangely. Again.

"By the way, did you know he was stalking me?!"

"Ah...yes."

"And you didn't think to tell me this?!"

"I didn't think it was my place to interfere..."

"Riiiight. Friends tell friends when they're being stalked by their boyfriends."

"Oh-kay...well then I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Woo-hoo! I love making him squirm like that. He's so cute when he's uncomfortable. No! Must. Not. Say. That. Holy crap! Give it a rest will ya? I really don't understand why my conscience always tells me to stop that train of thought. It's already on its way, so why derail it?

"Maybe we should head in, I mean, they might start to wonder where we went off to. It's almost midnight." I said,

"Yeah, I guess so. Are you gonna tell the guys about this?"

"For now, I won't say anything to them. Hopefully this'll all blow over by the time it would even come up."

He helped me up off the ground. What a gentleman. I can see why a lot of off-world ladies like him. Back off! He's mine! Seriously. I will take down any woman that even looks at him funny. I'll get him someday, so I have to keep the competition out of the way.

We came back into the mountain complex and were surprised to see a few people waiting there for us. We just walked by them and they pulled us aside and put us in handcuffs! What's the bloody hell is going on?! Teal'c was standing there in between the SFs with a Zat ready in his hand.

"Teal'c, buddy, what's going on?" Jack asked

"You were caught attempting to escape the mountain. We have to detain you until we are sure you will not attempt it again."

"Uh...Teal'c, we were coming back in the mountain. Not leaving it. But that is still no excuse to put us in handcuffs! I mean, I understand separate ones, but together?! Why?" I asked when it seemed it was a hopeless situation

"That way, we may keep both of you detained. It will be more difficult to escape together than it would alone."

Right. I think he's psycho. Well, he's Teal'c. I don't think mental illness affects Jaffa. Lucky.

"But...together??" Jack asked

"Yes."

"Is that all you have to say? I mean, what the heck are we supposed to do when we need to go to the bathroom? Take a shower? Sleep?! What?"

"That is not my concern. I was only asked to oversee your apprehension."

"Of all the..."

"Riiiight. Can we go now? Without the cuffs?" Jack asked.

I knew what the answer would be. Gosh, this place is getting predictable. Well, I guess I get to spend some quality time with my favorite colonel. Well, more than I already had. Yahoo!

"I am afraid General Hammond has informed me that you shall remain in these...handcuffs until further notice." Teal'c stated

"Someone is so going down for this. This is stupid."

Jack was right. This is stupid. But I'm not prepared to kill anyone for this. It should make the sleeping arrangements...interesting. I would really love to giggle madly right now. Too bad everyone was still there, staring at us.

"Come on, Sir. We might as well go to someone's quarters for the night...figure something out in the morning."

I started to pull him by his wrist. He decided it wasn't worth an incident in the middle of the main corridor, so he followed me. I had remembered we left the cake on the surface. That sucks for me...but I guess the birds will be happy in the morning. Are we ever going to get to have that cake?! Knowing us, probably not.

"So, who's quarters are we staying in tonight? We can't exactly go our separate ways..."

I really wish those SFs would stop following us. I decided to tell them so. It isn't our fault we ended up like this...blame it on genetics. Now we have a legitimate reason to sleep together. No! Not like that! I mean...cuddle? Aw, hell. I don't know what I mean. It should prove interesting, though.

"Hey, guys, you can leave us now. We aren't going to try and escape. Seriously. Go away!" I told them They left. Good riddance! "I guess we'll go to mine...since it's closest."

"Sure, why not? Lead the way..."

He didn't really have to lead the way, seeing as I already knew where his quarters were. I think he forgot that I've come to visit him more than once. Oh, well. At least I'm not a stalker like Pete. He got what was coming to him. Ha ha.

"Well, okay...how are we going to sleep? I dunno if we'll both fit on the bed..."

"We could if we tried..." I said as I gave him a wink and a smile.

"Uh..."

"What? It's not like we can get in trouble."

This really wasn't like me. But it was true. We couldn't get in trouble. The General had gotten us into this mess, so why not take advantage of it? I was fully planning on not letting this opportunity go to waste.

"True...but, wouldn't that be uncomfortable?"

"Who knows? We'll manage. Besides, it's a good excuse..."

He knew what I was talking about. It would have been hard to miss the implications of that. Ah...the simple things in life. Like making your commanding officer very nervous. We had already gotten to his quarters by this time, and were just standing there in the middle of the doorway.

"So..."

"Yeah..." Very good conversationalists, aren't we? "This'll be awkward."

"Oh yeah. Very. I guess we just have to get over that."

He pulled me in the room and closed the door. Oh, now he decides he likes this idea. Interesting. Let's have a little fun, shall we?

"You know all that 'unresolved sexual tension' between us? Well, I'm thinking of resolving it."

I figured, hey, we're teenagers that are handcuffed together. We can claim raging hormones or something. So I pulled him by his jacket and kissed him full on the lips. After we broke apart he spoke,

"Wow...well, that was strangely reminiscent of the time we had the 'touched' disease..."

"You are never going to let that go, are you?" I said with a smile

"I can't help it. We'd only known each other for a few months and there you were, coming onto me."

"And you just had to stop it, didn't you? Gosh."

"I don't think the General would have been too happy if you turned up pregnant."

"Yeah well...can we just try and go to sleep now?"

Sure, bring up that incident. The one I didn't have complete control over. Those were the good old days...before all the complications. I sort of miss them. And all those hugs he used to give me. Sometimes I really hate being military. You can't flick off your CO when he makes you angry, and you can't get hugs from him either. Stupid regulations.

"Ah...sure. I still don't know how this is gonna work..."

This time I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the bed. Who cares if there are cameras? Oh crap...I forgot about those when I kissed him. Oh, well. We can claim we were under the influence of alien technology. In a sense we still are. We are after all teenagers, aren't we? Good. Ironclad defense.

"We just lay down and go to sleep? In order to fit on the bed," I moved around, trying to find a way it would work, "I think you'll have to hold me...with our faces to each other..."

Yeah...this should turn out to be an interesting night. But I'm gonna love every minute of it.

A/N: Well, I'd say this is probably the longest chapter yet. Sorry it took till the end of the day. I got a tetanus shot and I fell asleep. Anyway, I hope you guys like it! Remember to review...since you know you want to make me a happy writer! ( Or just tell me you hated it. I don't care. Well, I do but...aren't you glad I put Teal'c in this chapter? It wasn't much, but I figured you'd start to think he'd dropped off the Earth or something. Right, anyway, I'll be sure to post on Friday!

Later,

Darkstarspanky aka Carter