Title: No Advanced Warning
Author: Darkstarspanky aka Carter
Summary: SG-1 gate to a planet with Ancient technology. With this technology, they get themselves into a rather...interesting situation.
Rating: PG (language, mostly)
Spoilers: Anything that happened previous to "Heroes I & II"
Archive: If anyone actually wants it, let me know first.
Disclaimer: Not mine...yadda, yadda, yadda...I only own the SG-1 DVDs and a shipload of tapes...
Author's Note: Holy crap! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in over three months!! I've had so much to do and I've been sleeping through most of it! I caught some errors in the last chapter but...I'd like to thank Sci Fi Fan Gillian, SpaceMan546, Sammie-lou, Endlessangel-6, and Rankokun Alpha for their reviews! I hope this chapter will live up to your expectations! Also, I have to say that I obviously don't have a beta, so please forgive any spelling/grammar errors!
Sam's POV
It's been an hour since Daniel first came in here asking me and Jack about his suddenly depleted NyQuil stash and he's still rambling about it. Someone please shut him up!
"Hey, Daniel...I need to talk to Carter about something really quick."
"Okay...go ahead."
"Daniel."
"Yeah?"
"Leave."
"Oh...okay."
Poor Daniel. I guess his caffeine deprivation isn't going so well. It's making him slow. I feel bad now for all the mean things I was thinking about him. I mean...I wasn't thinking anything mean about Daniel...
"So, we're actually going to talk about this, then?"
"Well, we kind of have to, don't we?"
"I was thinking we could just forget about it and you know, not talk about it..."
"Sam..."
I could tell by the look on his face that he really did want to talk about it. Let alone the fact that he used my first name. How did all this happen? Oh, yeah. Damn Ancients.
"Okay. Fine."
"Good. So...what did happen last night?"
"I honestly don't know, Sir."
"If we're going to be talking about a subject of this nature...do you think you could maybe
drop the 'sir'?"
"Uh...sure...Jack..."
I have to say, thinking the name is quite different than saying it. But it came out so easily. How did things get so screwed up?
"So you have no idea what happened last night? None at all?"
"I know we had a little party with some NyQuil..." I frowned, trying to think of what else happened.
"I think we both know that..."
"I'm trying to remember...but nothing comes to mind."
"I know..."
"What if...what if something happened last night? I mean, we aren't sure of anything we did after we got drunk..."
"Yeah...I know. If something did happen...we're going to have to try and explain it to Hammond."
"But we don't even know if anything happened at all. What if nothing happened and we tell Hammond something might have? We've been given a lot of latitude on things in the past...but this might be the final hit."
"So we just don't tell anyone anything about last night?"
"I guess that's the best course of action, Sir."
"What'd I say about the whole 'sir' thing?"
"Oh...yeah...Jack."
"Very good. Now...I'm tired and I'm going to go to sleep."
Too bad I'd apparently beat him to it. What he didn't know was that I wasn't actually asleep. I had just rested my head on his shoulder. I knew it was a bad thing to do considering we have no idea what happened last night but...what's a girl to do when there's a nice headrest right beside me?
I waited a while and knew that he had gone to sleep because his breathing had changed to a slow and steady rhythm. I realized I shouldn't be resting my head on his shoulder like this...since we're on duty and all. That, and we don't even remember what we did last night. What if we actually did have sex?! Holy Hannah...
Daniel came back a little while after Jack had gone to sleep. I decided to keep my eyes closed until he was gone. Then I'd leave and go do...something. But the damn guy stayed for almost an hour. What the hell was he doing? Watching us sleep? Well, watching Jack sleep that is.
I got up off the floor and started to walk quietly out of the "room" or whatever you'd call it, only to see Jack shift. I stopped dead in my tracks.
"Carter..."
"Damn it!" I muttered
"What're you doing here?"
Clearly the man was not awake. I don't think he realizes that this isn't his quarters.
"Uh...we're on a ship...going to rescue some rebels from rebels who're rebelling against the rebels."
"Um...okay?"
"Yeah...I'm have to go...do...something..."
"Okay...goodnight..." he said before drifting off again.
Now what do I do? I guess I could just go somewhere else to fall asleep. Knowing us, things will be getting pretty awkward soon. Oh, yay. As if we all don't have enough problems...now I have to deal with the fact that I may have slept with my CO. I'm going to end up doing hard labor at Leavenworth for the next...well, a lot of years, okay?
The worst part of it is that I'm actually starting to get uncomfortable around him. I don't know what it is, or exactly why it's happening…but it is. This whole thing is just starting to scare the crap out of me. I mean, before we didn't really have to worry about confessing anything, let alone…doing anything. I think it's now the time for avoidance. Yes, that's right. I'm going to avoid him.
You may wonder why it would be such a big deal but it just is. Considering I don't even know what we did last night…I think I really should avoid him. What if we actually did something? Dear, God…what has happened to my life? I feel like I'm the main character in one of those trashy romance novels. Either that, or I'm just insane. I mean, come on, I'm having lengthy conversations with myself inside my head. That just screams insanity to me.
So I am now walking around the ship. Talking to myself. Luckily I'm talking to myself inside my head. But I already said that.I've just realized that I am at the end of the corridor on this ship. Why couldn't we have had a mother ship?! We just had to take an Alkesh, didn't we? So, alright, an Alkesh isn't that small. But it's too small to use as a tactical tool of avoidance.
I turn around to go the other way, knowing that if I don't go back Daniel will try to find me, asking questions he shouldn't ask. Simply because no one knows the answer, and you should never ask questions you don't know the answer to. But I'm about to break that…what have I done?! What have I gotten myself into?
I felt the bile rise in my throat as I thought about the ramifications of what might have happened last nox. What…what was that? Oh, dear Lord it's happening already. Damn you, stupid, smart-ass Ancients! Why Latin? Dead languages suck! All of this is going on in my head while I'm walking through the ship. For once in my life I wish I could shut off my brain.
"Oh…crap."
I just realized that I walking right back into the room I was trying to avoid. Wouldn't it be nice to have a little invisibility device right about now? Yes. I know I've said it before but I odi NyQuil. Oooookay. I've never said that before. My life is quickly going to hell and there's nothing I can do about it. I won't even be able to speak English anymore! Hell, I can't even think in English completely. Thank God the man didn't notice me walk back in the room.
"Nothus!"
Ah! No! Why, God, why?! What have I done to deserve this?
"Que?"
He's speaking…Spanish? Dear, God the world has gone mad. Please send help!
"I said nothing. I never insulted my CO…"
He just looked at me. I looked back. The tension became too much and I just walked out. I didn't look back and I prayed he wouldn't follow me. When I looked at him, one phrase came to mind: "ego amo tu." Too bad I don't know what it means. Well, maybe I don't want to know. I will repeat myself by saying life is so screwed up right now. All because of NyQuil and drunken stupors. I've been walking through the ship for I don't know how long. But hey, good exercise.
I feel like singing for some random reason, and I would but I'm afraid that it would come out in Latin instead of English. At this point, if that happened I think I would lose what little sanity I have left. I guess the Stargate does have an affect on your mind after all. Whoo-hoo! At least I'm not freezing my ass off anymore when I reach the other side. Well, I guess I am but I've gotten used to it. It's amazing what can happen in seven years. And now…it's unfortunate and at the same time it's amazing what can happen in a few days.
Ah, yes. Life has become so tragic for me. Turned into a teenager by some odd alien deivce, getting drunk off NyQuil, and possibly sleeping with my CO who just happens to be in the same predicament. Someone up there really does have a sick and twisted sense of humor. Ordinarily I would laugh at this, but since it's me, I don't think I will. Though I can laugh at Colonel O'Neill…just not in front of him. Since I'm going to be avoiding him for a while, I think it's safe to say that I'll be laughing at him for a while.
If I never find out just what the hell happened that night, it'll be a long time before I actually stay in the same room alone with him. I probably wouldn't even stay in the room with him if Daniel, Teal'c, and my father were present. Too much awkward tension to deal with at once.
I just thought I'drepeat that my life is by far no romance novel. It can be every bit as trashy sometimes, but it isn't one. Now, if only I could talk to the person who does write my life and get them to make it a little less…mentally hazardous? Speaking of hazardous, we already get hazard pay, but I don't think it's enough to cover this.
That's when I noticed the aforementioned Colonel was following me. Can't I just get one day off from this man?! I stopped walking and turned around. He stopped and looked at me.
"What was with falling asleep on my shoulder?"
Does the man have to ask me this? Ugh.
"I don't know. I think I was still drunk."
"When I woke up you were gone and when you walked back, you said something and left again. What the hell did you say, anyway?"
"I don't know that, either. I'll let you know when I find out. All I can say is that it wasn't English."
So much for not being alone with him. Okay, just back away slowly, don't make any sudden movements or noises and maybe he won't notice. But of course being the astute observer that he is, he noticed. I just kept backing away from him anyway. He grabbed my arm to stop me from going, and searched my eyes, trying to figure out what was going on with me. I'll tell you what's going on! I got drunk off NyQuil (something that has been said numerous times.) and may have slept with my CO! We knew that though. I'm scared of what might happen! The worst part is, if I slept with him I don't even get to remember it!
His eyes widened at that moment. Oh, damn. I forgot about the whole "mind reading" thing.
"How much of that did you get?" I asked cautiously.
"The last part…slept with who?"
Ah, small blessings. He knows I'm afraid that I might have slept with someone, he just doesn't know who. He must still be suffering from a hangover. Yes!
"Heh. I…uh…never mind. I think I'm…just…going to…leave. Bye!"
With that I ran off. I bet that wasn't the smartest thing to do though. That might have given me away. I mean, I can't help it if I lo…ah! Almost admitted that. This Ancient device must have had more of an effect on my brain than I thought. It's making me stupid. And Sam Carter is never stupid.
You'd think beings as smart as the Ancients would create a device that makes you smarter, not shrinking you down to the lower end of the evolutionary scale when it comes to brain functions. At least I don't have an EM field that's affecting the lights around here because that would be just perfect. Yes, it would add humor to my boring life. Spark. Excitement. Nope, I don't have enough of that at all. After a while I'm ready to kill myself because I can't take the tedium anymore.
But yes, back to the fact that I almost admitted something that, ahem, isn't true? Why would I love my CO? Besides the fact that it is a court-martial able offense, it just isn't right? Well, okay, it isn't bad to love him…just bad to act on it? And…that all sounds pretty stupid.
This is only the first day on this damn ship and already I'm having conversations with myself. Which is a sign on insanity. Great, just great. This is another time when I'd like to kill myself. Bring on the tedium, because I'm out of ways to amuse myself.
Hours later I have no choice but to return to the room I'm trying to avoid. Hunger sucks! I don't know why we kept the food in here, nor do I know why we are using an Alkesh instead of the usual cargo ship. Not that I mind the Alkesh, it gives me more of an opportunity to get away.
"Carter, where have you been?"
"Um…walking?"
"We were talking and you just…left."
"Oh. I thought we were finished."
Heh. Blatant lie. I doubt he'll fall for it. When I said that, he looked crestfallen. I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do here. Why does he look at me like that? He's making me feel guilty! He then gave me a pointed look.
"We weren't finished and you know it."
"I have a confession…I am a pathological liar."
"If you were really a pathological liar, and you just told me the truth, you wouldn't be a pathological liar anymore."
Why is he poking holes in my line?!
'I hate you.'
'I know, it's hard not to with my insanely good looks and high intelligence level.'
'High intelligence level my ass. We got drunk off of NyQuil. That makes us both pretty stupid.'
I gave him an innocent smile.
'No, not stupid just…lacking in common sense?'
'This is your fault.'
'How is it my fault?'
'You were born? Nah, just kidding. But if you hadn't found that damn device, we wouldn't be in this mess.'
'Ouch. You never know, you could have found the device and we still could've turned out this way.'
'Fine. We blame Daniel. He's caused problems so many times that it would be hard to convince someone that he wasn't the cause.'
'Good idea.'
'I know, I'm full of them.'
'That's not the only thing you're full of.'
It was his turn to give me an innocent smile.
'You so stole my line! You're more full of it than I am.'
'True, but we can all use a knocking down from a higher peg once in a while.'
'I can think of someone in particular.'
'Hey, be nice. For disrespecting me I could make you push…'
'But you won't.'
I gave him an innocent smile, and he gave me a dirty look. We're actually getting back to normal, and that's what scares me. What if we get drunk off something else next time? When will I find out what the hell happened between us? Probably when I wind up pregnant. Oh, God, please no! I was just kidding! Don't take me seriously! I can't be a mother! I'd probably kill the child within the first day.
But I mean, what am I worrying about? It's not like that'll actually happen, right?
A/N: AHHH!! I'm so incredibly sorry that it's taken me forever to get this up. By now you guys have probably lost interest. But, since I'm dropping Pre AP English next term, I think it's safe to say I'll have a little more time. Hopefully I can get more up during the winter break, since my last exam is tomorrow! Again, thanks to all of you who have reviewed! I makes my day so much better! On another note, I must say that flames will be ignored…unless they are real flames…then I'll find something to keep them burning. Okay, well, that's it for chapter 11! I hope you liked it and please review!
Later,
Darkstarspanky aka Carter