Title: No Ådvanced Warning

Åuthor: Darkstarspanky aka Carter

Summary: SG-1 gate to a planet with Ancient technology. With this technology, they get themselves into a rather...interesting situation.

Rating: PG (language, mostly)

Spoilers: Anything that happened previous to "Heroes I & II"

Årchive: If anyone actually wants it, let me know first.

Disclaimer: Not mine...yadda, yadda, yadda...I only own the SG-1 DVDs and a shipload of tapes...

Åuthor's Note: First off, I'd like to apologize about seven billion times for taking almost a year to put up another chapter. Things have been slightly hectic with all the stuff I put myself into this year. I won't make you wait this long ever again (if you are still interested in this story by now…). But now I'd like to thank SG-1 Fanfic, Sci Fi Fan Gillian, Dana-Carter, Bart, candlewick866 (your review sounds like something I would say haha), CharmedAli, stargrl678, rankokun alpha, and my idiot friend Danielle (XD) for your reviews! I love you guys! Er…yeah. Okay! Now, for your enjoyment…The next chapter!

Sam's POV

…Jack's quarters. The night of the NyQuil fiasco. I saw myself enter the room with several bottles of the accursed liquid, us downing the stuff, giggling, falling all over each other, and generally acting like idiots. And Jack says I don't know how to have fun. Oh, here's where the fun really starts. We end up falling over, making out, and nearly stripping down to the last of our clothing.

So that's it? We didn't really do anything? As much as I was relieved, I was also somewhat disappointed. Which is slightly confusing, let me tell you.

Then my vision began to clear. And I promptly threw up. Ah…the joys of a hangover. Really.

"Can you see anything?"

"Ugh. I feel like I've just been hit by a Goa'uld shock grenade."

"…and that means?"

"Sure, I guess I can see."

Wow. Answer man right there. Can you be any more cryptic?

'Yes.'

I just stared at him. Sometimes this man makes me wonder about everything I've known to be a constant in my life. Actually, he just makes me wonder if it's possible for anyone in our line of work to stay sane, clean minded, NyQuil free, and unobtrusive when it comes to mind reading and telepathy. Considering the last two only happen to us, probably not.

"So, did you get any visions or anything while we were passed out and/or blinded?"

"Uh…no. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Never mind," I grumbled.

Oh, joy. Another special power for Samantha Carter. Do the wonders never cease? But hey, that means I'm more powerful than Jack. Hahahahahahahaha. I'm so glad he can't see me doing my mental victory jig. But yes! I finally have one up on him. Sucker.

Once again, I found a hand being waved in front of my face.

"Carter…? What's with you? You keep spacing out."

That, and I just freakin' vomited.

'Yeah, that too.'

'Damn it! Stop doing that to me!'

'Are you sure everything is okay? You've been acting weird…and then when you…'

'Jack?'

'Yeah?'

'Shut up.'

'Alright.'

'I don't know exactly what's going on. All I know is that this Ancient device really screwed with our brains. We converse through telepathy, I have some weird electrical energy that stems from my hands…you can heal…I now apparently get visions of things that have already happened…'

'Well, isn't this just wonderf…wait? Did you say you get visions now?'

I just nodded my head in response. Ouch. Note to self: never make any kind of head movement when you're fighting a hangover and you've just regained consciousness.

'What did this…vision entail? Was it something to help us figure out how to reverse all this?'

'No…the vision didn't have anything to really help us fix this mess. But I do know one thing.'

'Which would be…?'

'We didn't do anything the night we were drunk. Well, I mean, we made out…and stripped a little bit…but we didn't…'

'Didn't what?'

Honestly, how stupid can this man pretend to be? He is completely infuriating sometimes. Really. I don't know why I even think about this man. Well, okay, I know why. But that wasn't my point.

'We didn't do anything that involved…'

'Oh! We didn't…uh…yeah…okay, I've got it now.'

Cue awkward silence number five hundred twenty-seven. We just sat there for who knows how long, staring and thinking about what we had done. Or, rather, what we hadn't done. I'd noticed something briefly flit across his eyes. But as soon as it appeared, it was gone. I'm not quite sure what it was, and I guess I may never know. Damn him and his ability to hide everything.

So, this tension in the room is nice. Really, it is. I mean, I just love how it…makes everything awkward. Again. There is never a day off from it, is there? No? Okay, then. Well, as pleasant as this awkward tension is, I think I'm going to have to go shoot myself. Oh, imagine that, I've got a gun. Nah, I think I'll just leave the room. Besides, what if the world needs saving?

I don't even think he noticed I left the room. What is that man thinking about that could preoccupy him? Wait I just said he was thinking. Hahahahahahahaha. Jack thinking scary.

About half an hour after I left, I received a message through my telepathic connection with Jack,

'Hey, where'd you go?'

'Wow. It took you all of thirty minutes to notice I was missing? I feel so hurt that you didn't notice my absence immediately. My specialness should warrant more than that.'

'Specialness isn't a word.'

I should have noticed that. Damn. I could just hear the smirk that would now be gracing his features.

'You of all people shouldn't be correcting me on proper vocabulary and grammar.'

'That wasn't my point.'

'Ah, yes, but it was my point.'

He stayed silent for a few minutes. I got him and he knew it. He was just jealous that I recovered from my moment of stupidity quicker than he usually does. Actually, I haven't really recovered from my moment of stupidity. I'm stuck in a perpetual moment of stupidity. More like a decade, really. Technicalities.

'I so got you. Admit it.'

'You didn't get me. I will admit nothing.'

He's right. I didn't really get him. I could've said worse.

'Exactly.'

'Stop it! Get out of my head! Get out! Get out! Get out!'

I almost started smacking my head. Then it would feel like I'm in one of those movies where the main character is being tormented by his or her subconscious. Except in my case, it is not my subconscious, it is in fact my superior officer. But he's still tormenting me, the bastard.

Since he's tormenting me, I think it is only proper for me to torment him. I just have to wait for him to be asleep. He's probably going to end up pissed off with me. No, wait, actually it's impossible for him to get pissed off with me. He likes me too much for that. As I like him. But that wasn't my point.

I walked into the room only to discover that Jack was sleeping. Perfect. I took a pen from my pocket and began my long and arduous task of making him look more handsome. I mean…making him look funny. Haha. The man should know by now not to fall asleep while in the same vicinity of me. Because if he does, bad things will happen.

Once I was had finished with my little plot of revenge, I left the room and waited. Around thirty minutes later he walked out and went off to find Daniel and Teal'c. Then I heard some crashing and laughing. My guess is that the crashing was Jack, and the laughing was Daniel. And quite possibly Teal'c. Yes, I suppose the trip wire worked.

"CARTER!"

…Crap. I guess it's about time that I start running and find a good place to hide. While not thinking so that I can't give my position away. Is that too much to hope for? Oh, well. I decided to go for hiding in one of the crates. It's so simple that he wouldn't expect me to do it. He probably thinks I'm going to find some difficult place to hide. Well, ha! I'm not going to find some difficult place. Jack should know by now that with me, you must expect the unexpected. Or something. I really don't have very many intelligent thoughts when he's involved, do I?

It took the man about twenty minutes, but he found me. I burst into laughter when I saw his face. The drawings along with his face being contorted in half-assed anger made it that much more comical. But I think the fact that I was laughing made it worse.

"Carter!"

I put on my poker face and tried to act nonchalant.

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you know anything about this lovely pen addition to my face?"

"Whatever are you talking about? I don't see anything different."

I bit back a laugh. Keep your cool, it's the only way you can win this one. Or, take pictures for blackmail. You can win that way, too. But since you don't have a camera, you're going to have to keep a straight face.

"Carter, do you know how funny you aren't being?"

"I'm…not trying to be funny. I just am."

All he did was give me this look that said, "You're screwed." And that was enough to send me running.

He chased me around for what must've been about ten minutes before he finally caught me. He had been waiting around the corner of the door. When I came around, he basically jumped me, pinned me to the floor and started tickling me mercilessly.

Eventually I was able to flip us over so I had the advantage. I'm so glad we're still the size of teenagers; otherwise it would not have been possible. I brought my face close to his. Close enough that I could've kissed him. Then I leaned in a little more…

"I let you catch me."

When it comes to me, expect the unexpected.

I got off of him and walked out of the room. As I walked out I heard him yell,

"Damn you, Carter!"

Oh, how I love messing with him.

A/N: Again, I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out. I really, really am. But I hope this will satisfy you for a bit until all of my exams are finished. I hope you liked it, and please review! I'm going to leave you with probably the shortest A/N I've ever written.

Later,

Darkstarspanky aka Carter

P.S. – Look closely, there's some foreshadowing in the last bit of this chapter.