Chapter 1: 'Til Death

It's been a month since Marco's funeral and Jean has yet to find the courage to leave his home. Instead, he spends all of his time curled up in the bed he and Marco once shared, watching their wedding video over and over. Whenever it finishes, Jean simply rewinds the disk to the beginning and begins watching again.

Sometimes when he wakes up, he forgets. Just for a second. He forgets that the love of his life was taken away from him but when he remembers, it's as if he's getting the call once again. He still remembers the exact words he and the police officer shared. Jean knew something was wrong the moment he heard the man's voice as he attempted to delicately tip toe around the blond's feelings.

Jean shook his head as if to shake the policeman's voice out of his mind. "Stop," he told himself. "Stop..." He repeated, as if that would make him stop thinking about his beloved Marco. Exhaling slowly, he directs his eyes back to his television screen – Marco is talking about how he's feeling about their wedding day. "I can't believe it's finally here... I've been waiting to marry Jean the second I met him," the perfectly preserved Marco said, a wide smile on his lips.

Instead of making Jean smile as it normally did, Jean simply buried his face into his pillow and screamed. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to grow old together, to travel the world together, to have a baby together. Finally lifting his head from the pillow, Jean took a deep breath and tried to finish watching the rest of the video. He was now on the screen. Another scream escaped him. This one was more desperate, angry. Before he was aware of what he was doing, he threw his pillow at his television with all of his might. "It should have been me!" He screamed, tears welling up in his eyes. His breathing was now uneven, his face bright red as he continued to watch the stupidly happy man on the screen talk about his husband to be, Marco.

"You're an idiot!" He screamed at himself, "You're an idiot! You're an idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" He continued to scream. "Marco is gone and it's all your fault. You should have protected him better! You promised him!"

Jean took a deep breath, hoping it would calm him down but alas, no such luck. He let his tears fall freely down his face. Jean slowly came to realise how lonely he truly was. There he was, all alone, yelling at a younger, happier version of himself. Marco was his person. He couldn't possibly live without him. Then suddenly, almost out of nowhere, Jean heard Marco's voice coming from the television once again. "Not everyone is lucky enough to find their soul mate but I was and I am never letting him go. You hear that, Jean? 'Til death do us part," Marco said once again, emphasising the words, "'til death."

Laying back down onto the bed, Jean pulled the covers over himself. He closed his eyes once again and tried to force himself to fall asleep. He needed to escape from this torture. Even though Marco wasn't there with him anymore, Jean wasn't able to shake Marco's presence which was something he desperately wanted, just to avoid all of this pain. He needed his perfect husband back, not just his voice from their wedding video or his smile in the many pictures they had taken together. He needed all of him back.

The wedding tape kept playing and eventually, it came to a stop. Jean didn't get up to rewind it this time. Instead, he simply laid in the silence.

The silence was broken by the sound of the phone ringing. Jean let it go to voicemail. The bedroom became filled with the female's voice. "Hi... Jean..." She started awkwardly, "I know this might not be a good time since you've been dodging my calls and I don't really know where we stand... But I have a doctor's appointment this week on Wednesday. We're going to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. You're more than welcome to come if you're feeling up to it. Well... That's all. I'll see you on Wednesday. I hope."