The plane is leaving in forty-five minutes and I'm still here at the mall. I've already gotten a little something for Eric's parents, got my old friend the "There's Something About Mary" DVD he wanted, and now… Now I'm desperately trying to find the perfect gift for Sydney.
I've already been around the mall twice already, with no result. Our relationship is so complicated… What on Earth can I get her?
No jewellery. That is something for lovers. It would put too much pressure on her.
No picture frame. That object holds too many memories. No reminder of the past, what we need is a fresh start.
No lingerie, that is a given.
Perfume? Sweater? Digital camera? Book? I'm going crazy. Okay, Mike, think. What is it you'd really like to give Sydney? What is it you want to tell her? I sigh and gaze at my watch, knowing I have to hurry.
That's when it hits me: what I want to give Sydney the most is a happy future.
I smile, relieved. Yes, now I know just what to get her.
XXXX*
Sydney' POVI'm nervous. I'm so glad Weiss is flying with us. I don't know what Vaughn has told him about us, but, as if he sensed our discomfort, he sat between us.
Looking outside the small window, I try to understand what is going on with me. In the last year, the two most important persons in my life, the two men I thought I could count on, that I could trust completely, both let me down.
I'm angry with my father. He lied to me. He used me. He broke my trust and I don't see how I could ever forgive him. And it's understandable.
But why can't I trust Vaughn again?
I know I still love him… When I kissed him in Palermo, just after he saved me from Lauren, it felt so right. But then reality set in and I began to doubt again.
Over the course of the last year, there were a few occasions where I wondered if I had known him as well as I thought I did. Like I said to him a year ago...If it had been me... I would have waited. I would have found out the truth. But sad and angry, I told him that if I had, it would have been an absolute waste. Because he didn't wait. He didn't find out the truth. He just didn't... I was still in shock when I said that at the time, but somehow I don't regret it. He did give up on us. The Vaughn I knew would not have done that. He would have at least tried.
I know he was married, and if it had been to me I would have expected the same loyalty he showed Lauren. I understand he felt conflicted between his vows and the love he said he still had for me, but did he have to hurt me in the process? Did he have to ask me out for a cup of coffee, and then run into Lauren's arms right in front of me? Did he have to say that I was the only one in his life only to stay with her until she was proven a traitor?
I feel like I was his second choice and… I hate it. I resent him for it.
Yes, there were times during the last year when I felt I had lost my Vaughn. What he did to that awful man I like to call "Suit and Glasses", the way he accused me of implying Lauren was working for the Covenant only because things hadn't panned out for us the way we hoped, the way he went after Lauren, even endangering my life and my sister's when we freed her from Sloane… Was I in the wrong to trust him with my life?
I discreetly glance at him. He's reading some hockey magazine and a flood of good memories wash over me. The first time we went to a game together. Him trying to teach me how to play hockey. I look away, feeling tears stinging my eyes. It costs me to admit it right now, but maybe I'm asking too much of him. That man broke into the Vatican with me. He put his job and life on the line for me. Best example of that being the time when he came into the Credit Dauphine building to try to save me. That was such an amazing thing to do. Even in the last year, even married to Lauren, he came through for me; like that time he took me to a plane leaving for Rome…
I sigh inwardly. I know I'm not being completely fair. He saved me from death and craziness countless times. It is probably wrong of me to resent him for collapsing when it was proven I was dead. It is probably wrong to be angry with him to have tried to stick to his wedding vows.
Dr Barnett would probably say that it is a defence mechanism, but if I let myself trust Vaughn, I'm afraid my heart will be broken once again. He's going to have to tear down the walls once again.
I am suddenly hit on the arm by Weiss' travel bag.
"Sorry!" he smirks as he opens his bag and takes out a small box. Inside, a bunch of little chocolate Santa Claus.
"How many of those have you got there?" Vaughn teases.
"Enough to share with you, my nice friend. Want one?" he offers.
"No, thanks," Vaughn replies, still smiling.
"Syd? It would put you in the Christmas spirit, I assure you," he says as he hands me one.
Vaughn and I actually exchange an amused look. The first in a while.
"Why not?" I say as I take one.
I need all the help I can get.
XXXX**
Weiss' POVAs I hand Sydney the chocolate, I can't help smiling inwardly. I saw my two friends exchanging that accomplice look and I'm happy with myself. Silly, lovable Weiss has once again done wonders. He has too. I can't stand the idea of beginning the year with my two best friends still apart.
The last year has been terrible. Between depressing tequila nights with Syd and depressing pool games with Mike, I feel I'm going to need Prozac soon. And I'm not even talking about how uncomfortable it has been at work.
Being both Mike and Sydney's confidant, I spent twelve months torn between my loyalties to each of them, always careful not to say too much in front of the other. I had to be nice to Lauren. I had to see those two people I love dearly suffer all through that annus horribilis, like the Queen of England would say.
With Jack once again gone on some mission, happy to avoid having to spend relaxed, happy times with his only child, and since Mike can't stand to be in the home he shared with Lauren, I knew I had to step in. I knew I had to take them away from Los Angeles for Christmas. Away from the person they are most of the time.
As I finish chewing the boots of my fifth chocolate Santa Claus, I realise that silly, lovable Weiss is going to be sick.