Sydney's POV
As I am putting my scarf on, little Tommy, Eric's four year old nephew, repeats once again:
"Hurry up, Sydney!"
I smile and zip up my coat.
"I'm ready. Let's go!" I say, grinning.
We leave the house and see Vaughn and Eric busy making the biggest snowman I have ever seen. Tommy is really impressed and wants to be the one putting in the carrot as the snowman's nose. Vaughn takes him on his shoulders and the kid just beams.
"Hey look Sydney, I'm taller than you are!" Tommy says, smiling.
I can't help but think how good Vaughn looks holding a kid… I have never seen him with one, and it makes me see him differently. There is still so much I don't know about him. Strangely, I have never even been any place he's lived…
I look at him running around with Tommy still up on his shoulders and smile. He seems more relaxed than I have seen him in… years. Since before I was taken by the Covenant. The twinkle in his eyes has reappeared; lines on his forehead have disappeared. Agent Vaughn seems so far away right now, giving Michael a chance to come to the fore.
"Okay, Tommy, that's enough. Mike isn't as young as he used to be," Weiss teases. "Let's play a bit of "hide and seek" before grandma calls us for lunch."
Tommy agrees and declares he will count up to twenty but that Uncle Eric will need to help him. So Vaughn and I will be hiding. We both start running toward the trees, but suddenly Vaughn trips and falls face first in the snow. I try my best not to laugh, not wanting Tommy and Eric to locate us.
"Here, take my hand!" I offer as I chuckle.
He takes it and gets up, but then starts running again, with me in tow. I have no choice but to follow him and soon we stop behind a big tree. He puts his back to it and positions me in front of him, close enough for our bodies to touch. I can see there is still some snow on his cheek, and, on an impulse, I remove my glove and gently wipe it off.
As I finally realise what I'm doing, he wraps his fingers around my wrist. Our eyes lock and I can see his are filled with love and need. His face turns serious and, for a fraction of second, his eyes drop to my lips. My heart is beating at three hundred miles an hour. I close my eyes and, unable to do anything else, I wait.
And wait.
Until I suddenly hear:
"Gotcha!"
Little Tommy is staring at us, beaming. Eric sends us an apologetic look. Vaughn and I gaze at each other and share a big smile.
I think I just realised how powerless I still am to resist Michael Vaughn.
XXXXXXXX
Vaughn's POVWe are all sitting down for the Christmas dinner. Sydney is sitting in front of me, between Weiss and Gerard who has quickly moved in to sit beside her, leaving me no closer option than where I am now. But I don't care that much, because from here I can enjoy the sight of her more clearly. I'm barely able to take my eyes off her, still feeling deliciously excited since our near kiss from this afternoon. Maybe she is still thinking about that, too, because I catch her stealing looks at me from time to time before looking down, cheeks a bit flushed, or at least I like to imagine they are. Maybe she doesn't regret it after all…? Maybe she is ready to give us another chance? I feel more confident now than I did when I fell asleep last night, when I was thinking how desperate I would be if she turned me down, if I were to lose her once again.
After dinner, everybody moves to the living room. It is time to exchange the gifts, and I feel a bit out of place. I wonder if Sydney and I should leave, letting the family enjoy this moment privately?
Sydney must be feeling the same way I am, because she quietly gets up and leaves the room. From where I am sitting, I can see her put on her coat and sneak outside.
Nervous, I realise it is now or never. It's time for us to talk about our future.
I get up too and hurry upstairs. There is something I need to get before talking to her.
XXXX**
I open the front door to find her standing on the porch, hands wrapped around herself, looking at the falling snow. I am struck once again by how beautiful she is and I feel like I'm falling in love with her even more deeply.
"Hey… Feeling out of place, too?" she says, not even turning around, bringing me back to reality.
"How did you know it was me?" I wonder as I arrive at her side.
"I just knew," she answers, lips curling into a tiny smile.
I can't help but smirk and quip:
"It could have been Gerard, you know… I get the feeling he'd like to spend some time alone with you."
Sydney chuckles and we stand there for a moment during which I look at my shoes, suddenly finding them really interesting. I don't really know how to say what I need to say. Finally, I clear my throat and begin:
"Syd, I… I got you a little something."
She turns around to face me, looking surprised but pleased.
"Oh… You didn't have to… but… thanks."
I hand her the gift as she smiles. She tears off the wrapping paper, showing a blue book on the cover of which is written "2005".
"A daily planner?"
She looks at me, mystified.
"Flip through the pages."
"January 17. Go to a movie with Vaughn. February 14. Vaughn is making us a special dinner. March 3. Free massage from Vaughn. May 18. Weekend in Santa Barbara…"
Her voice breaks, and she lifts up her beautiful teary eyes to meet mine.
"Oh, Vaughn…"
"Syd, all I can give you is the promise of a happy future… together. I once read somewhere that the truth is rarely pure and never simple. Ever since admitting to myself that I felt something for you, I've been convinced that it could have been written about us. But now, I realise that the only truth I need now IS simple - I love you. And that will never change."
"Vaughn…" she says again, looking at me the same way she did when we first met; torn between her need to trust me and her fear of being disappointed again.
"I know it's complicated, I know things will never be the same… Since you came back… You've seen the worst in me… that's what SHE brought out in me," I say unable to even say her name. "I need to apologize for my behaviour. There is no excuse, but… Looking back, I understand I resented her for coming between us, for even making us doubt the bond we share. I was so ashamed of having let her do this to us, for adding to your pain myself. I was weak enough for her to fool me into thinking she meant more to me than you did, that this second-rate normality with her could mean more to me than being with you, than being there for you…"
My voice now breaks and I have to take a deep breath to regain control.
Sydney is looking at me, silently, and I go on.
"I know you have to learn to trust me again… I know… that you must wonder if I would have ended up leaving Lauren. The answer is yes. I tried to be the loyal husband, but… I was never even close to loving her the way I love you. I understand we have a lot of work ahead of us, but… if you still love me, we'll find a way."
She blinks several times, trying to chase away the tears invading her brown eyes but says nothing. I am so nervous I think I'm going to faint, but I have to ask. I have to ask her to say the words I've longed to hear since the day we met.
"Do you? Do you love me?"
She fixes her intense gaze on me and answers, her voice soft and low.
"Yes, I… I do. I always have… but… I think we should take things slow."
Does that mean she wants us to get back together? I stop myself from jumping up and down, trying to seem calm even though it is far from the reality. Of course, I'll accept any condition she poses.
"You're probably right."
She smiles and turns around to look at our surroundings. She sighs loudly enough for me to hear.
"It's so beautiful, so peaceful… Seeing such beauty, it's so hard to believe evil actually exists… SD-6, the Covenant, my…"
She stops abruptly, making me wonder once again what she's not telling me.
"Syd… There's something else, huh? It's not just… us. Something else is bothering you."
She once again wraps her arms around herself and sighs, her eyes fixed on the horizon.
"Yes."
I wait, not daring saying anything.
"I found out about something."
"Tell me."
"Later… when we get back to LA. For now I just want to enjoy our time here…"
I sigh inwardly. I'm worried about her. I hope what she found out isn't as bad as Project Christmas.
We stay silent for a moment, until she says:
"I've got something for you, too."
"Really?"
"Yes, really," she confirms as she takes an envelope from her coat's inside pocket.
She hands it to me and I immediately open it. Inside are two hockey tickets.
"The Kings are playing the Islanders next week. We should go."
She says that with a big dimpled smile which transforms into a little laugh when she sees the look on my face. She just brought me so far back… We've been through so much together in the course of the last five years… and still we are here tonight. Together.
I don't really know why, but I get all teary eyed now. I take her in my arms and hold her tight.
"Thank you," I say simply, my voice a bit shaky.
Her way of answering me is to hold me even tighter. She knows how I feel. We don't need words anymore.
I briefly look up above our heads and smile mischievously. She raises her eyes and can't help but smile too. Mistletoe.
Still smiling, she slowly leans in and finally it happens. We share a kiss, a kiss full of promises.
I don't let her pull back and we savour each other for a few minutes, wrapped in one another's arms, until I start to get a bit cold.
"Are you coming?" I ask, gesturing towards the door.
"Just give me a minute. I'll be right there."
I know she needs some time alone to process what just happened between us.
"Be quick. I'll go crazy without you."
She smiles and nods, so I give her a swift kiss and go inside, grinning like a fool.
XXXX*
Sydney's POVTruth.
I can't run from it.
Whether it is the awful truth of Project SAB 47 or the amazing truth of Vaughn's love for me, I have to face it.
Looking at the snow falling, I make two decisions. I will go back to work for the CIA and try to resolve that Rambaldi prophecy once and for all. And I'll face my father. Only then will I be free.
Holding Vaughn's gift close to my heart, I can't help smiling widely. A lot has happened in the last twelve months. We have both changed. But, like he once told me, some things don't.
I love him and he loves me.
That's the inescapable truth.
THE END