There was blood on Tony's hands. How fitting; he laughed cruelly inside. Where was it all coming from? It was everywhere. So much blood. Too much. He looked down and there was Bruce, lying in the desert sand, covered in red. Tony's breath caught in his throat and his heart was in hyper-drive. He couldn't breathe. His vision was starting to blur, but he couldn't feel the tears. No, not again. He couldn't freak out now. Deep breaths. Come on, don't do this. Not now. Tony dropped to his knees in front of the injured scientist. Off to his right, he could see a bomb with a Stark Industries logo. That didn't make sense; the explosive had already detonated. Whatever. Didn't matter. What do should he do now? Sand and dust blew into his face as Tony shielded himself with one arm. Looking back at Bruce, he could see blood caking the earth beneath the other man's body.
"Bruce, look at me." Tony's own voice was foreign to him. "You're going to be okay." A horrid lie. "I can't lose you. I can't-" He shuddered a breath and Bruce's chapped lips formed a weak, cracked smile.
"No, it's alright, Tony. You'll be okay without me. I wasn't meant to last this long, anyway."
"What are you talking about?"
Bruce's gaze lowered slowly.
"No, come on, Bruce! Look- look at me!" He urged in desperation.
Just then, Tony felt a hand touch his back and begin to move in circles. He wheeled around unsteadily, and there stood Dr. Bruce Banner, alive and well. Tony turned back to where his beau had been laying just moments before in the sand, approaching death like an old friend. That Bruce was no where to be seen. The blood was gone, too. The new Bruce stroked Tony's arm as they both sunk into the sand.
"I'm here," his Bruce murmured. "I'm here."
Bruce woke up with his arm draped around Tony; he was spooning the engineer from behind. He found himself reluctant to remove the protective warmth from Tony's folded form, but the scientist really wanted to take a shower. He'd been too tired to after Tony had gotten out of the bathroom last night and had fallen asleep not long after that. He cautiously removed his arm, then placed pillows against Tony's back and readjusted the blankets around him. Banner glanced at the clock. Five-thirty. Why in the world was he up at five-thirty AM? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he'd slept through most of the day before.
Nevertheless, Bruce got up and removed his bite guard, the thing that kept him from grinding his teeth at night. He found it embarrassing – the stupid thermoplastic device molded to fit his teeth – but Tony had assured him he was normal by the playboy's standards. Stark had even revealed that he himself had worn orthodontic headgear back in the day – talk about embarrassing.
Bruce ran the shower water and stepped inside as steam began to fog the glass. He stood there, just soaking it all in for a moment and then moved on to actually wash himself. When he emerged from the warmth, feeling much more awake, Bruce dried himself off and hung the towel back on the rack. He stepped into the room sans clothing, figuring Tony would still be asleep. The playboy cracked one eye open and attempted to bite back a grin. Bruce noticed. His face immediately flushed red as he snatched a shirt from the floor and held it in front of his nether regions.
"No, no, put that down," Tony muttered sleepily. "You-" his mouth stretched into a yawn "-you look great. Just like that."
"Liar," Bruce muttered, glancing at the dresser drawer that held some of his clothes that had made their way into Tony's room. He could be incredibly insecure at times.
"Not lying. Look at me. Do I look like I'm lying?" Tony propped his head up on one of the pillows Bruce had laid down. His expression was honest – that much Bruce could tell.
"Not really..."
"See? And you are packing some serious heat, sweetheart."
Bruce's cheeks were growing even redder; was that possible? He wasn't sure. "Okay, now that's the lie." He was average. Maybe slightly above, given that average meant five and a half inches – a mainly useless fact he'd absorbed at one point or another. But still.
"All I'm saying is that everything looks superb from here." Tony pushed the covers off of himself and lifted himself up from the mattress. Bruce turned his back and began pulling on some clothes rather hastily. "Someone's in a hurry." Tony came up from behind, tugging lightly at Bruce's arm. "What's the rush, big guy?"
"Research. Ideas. Need to keep working. Is that okay?" Bruce looked to Tony for reassurance.
"Yeah, I mean I guess so. Just thought we could do something before I go to my meeting with a bunch of boring old stiffs."
Bruce freed his arm and kissed Tony lightly on the cheek. "I wish I could, but I really gotta get this out of my head. I'm sorry," he said sheepishly, edging his way toward the bedroom door.
"'S okay. I'll go, uh, I don't know. I'll meet you up there."
"Okay," Bruce called from down the hall.
Tony walked into the bathroom, feeling the last remnants of steam from Bruce's shower. He splashed his face with water and looked into the mirror, studying the age lines in his face. There were little creases everywhere. When did that start? Whatever. Didn't matter. Tony looked at the clock. It was early. Why the hell was it so early? Coffee would help fix that.
Tony made his way up to their main lab, carrying two warm mugs full of warm, caffeinated liquids – his coffee and Bruce's tea. The engineer had sort of taken a nose dive into his thoughts. He recollected what he'd just seen in his own bedroom. And about what he might be able to use that thought for later. And what he might be able to do at some point with the person it concerned. And when that situation might arise. Okay, he really had to stop thinking about that.
Stark passed a closed lab full of reactor-related technology. Talking to Clint the day before reminded him of not too long ago when things weren't so settled. For a while, the arc reactor in Tony's chest had been misbehaving. He just couldn't bring himself to mess with it again. But it was getting worse. At one point, it felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest. There was, of course, a hole, but he'd stuck a cork in it years ago. Should be fine.
Tony swallowed as Bruce peered at the reactor through his glasses and then removed them so he could see better. Tony was lying on his exam chair; Bruce had convinced him to deal with the issue – finally. The clever scientist had threatened to tell Pepper, and who wanted that? Tony watched as Bruce's fingers neared his chest."I wouldn't touch that if I were you."
Bruce's hand dropped. "I won't."
"Or really even look..."
Bruce pursed his lips with an uneasy expression then decidedly walked over to face the wall. "Better?"
"Kinda, yeah."
Tony let his trembling fingers come up to take hold of the outer rim of his reactor. He clicked it out of place, and the heart monitor responded immediately. Tony knew right away by the look of things he had to clean out the inside and replace the back chip. He wished he could do it more quickly, but that would risk damage, and he and the reactor were already unstable enough.
"Everything going okay?" Bruce asked, still facing the wall.
"Ye-yeah, everything's fine..." Tony grunted, gently tugging the main cable. He then replaced the chip with a fresh one and used something that looked like it was from a dentist's office to clean out some of the plasma pooling at the bottom and sticking to the sides. Not so bad. He put the reactor back in place with a click. It began to vibrate and light up – but it was much brighter than normal.
"G-oh, Jesus, what the hell," he gasped.
"Tony?" Bruce called, his voice full of concern.
"Just a minute!" Tony's fingers snatched desperately at his chest as a series of inarticulate noises escaped his throat. Energy wracked his body, and the heart monitor to his right beeped frantically. The light in his chest was not dimming; in fact, it appeared to be getting brighter.
Unable to resist any longer, Bruce turned around sharply. "Oh my god- Tony." He strode over to his boyfriend, whose eyes were wide with fear. "Listen to me. I need to get in there, alright? I'm going to push in the back chip further because I have a feeling it's loose. You're going to have to trust me."
Stark couldn't say anything, but he nodded and squeezed his eyes shut.
Bruce gently clicked the reactor out of place again and adjusted the little electromagnet he'd read so much about. The light began to go down as he returned the reactor to its position in Tony's sternum. His pulse was slowly going back to normal as well. Bruce tenderly stroked the other man's mass of dark hair.
"That's it; you're alright now."
Tony gripped the arm rests to sit up and wrapped his arms protectively around himself, trembling slightly. "Can we just... not-"
Bruce reigned him into a gentle hug around the shoulders. "It's okay," he soothed. "You're safe with me."
Tony believed that; he always had.
The lab doors slid open, and Tony stepped inside the room and out of his thought bubble. "I bring stimulants," he announced.
Bruce looked up from a screen to smile at him. "Great. Thanks."
Tony came up behind him and slid his arms around Bruce's waist. "So, what are we looking at here?"
Bruce welcomed the touch. Which was odd, actually. First off, he was working. Secondly, well, he was normally rather freakish about this sort of thing. That's how he saw it, anyway. But now he didn't tense up or squirm or anything. And that made Bruce feel remarkably normal, which was kind of hard to come by for him. "As of now, nothing. Nothing that makes sense anyway. Figures don't add up. It's... frustrating, to be honest." He removed his glasses and set them on the work table.
"Don't worry, you'll get it." Tony lightly pressed his lips into the crook of Bruce's neck.
The computer beeped. Test results.
Tony released Bruce from the embrace as Bruce tentatively approached the screen and stared at it. It was...
Nothing. Again. What a waste. Actually, Bruce felt like the waste. He had failed, of course. Never good enough, not even when he was a kid. The disappointment that coursed through him began to simmer with green. Bruce ground his teeth together; it wasn't just a sleep thing, but also an anger thing.
"Any luck?"
"Nope." Bruce wasn't lucky. He didn't even know if luck existed.
Tony began to ramble behind him, trying to reassure Bruce that everything would be fine. It should've helped.
It didn't.
The doctor tried to stop clenching his jaw, stop the tensing muscles and curling fists. He was digging his nearly nonexistent nails into his palms. Banner needed to breathe.
Tony put a hand on his shoulder, which Bruce promptly shrugged off. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I just... do you want to maybe stop talking?" Bruce tried his best not to sound angry in the hopes that he wouldn't be angry. Tony was just getting on his nerves a bit; it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. And he wasn't even really mad at Tony. Bruce was more upset with himself.
"Sure, okay," Tony agreed, sounding concerned and a bit deflated.
Great, Bruce was going to fuck up his relationship as well. How fitting.
"I'm not... I'm not angry at you. I'm angry with myself, okay?" Bruce tried his best to reassure the engineer. "I just need some space."
Tony nodded. There was plenty of space. He could do that – make space. The billionaire perched himself on the counter top some feet away, occasionally pitching ideas as Bruce worked. This would've been fine – great, even – if research wasn't going so horribly and Tony didn't get off topic so much. Bruce needed to focus.
"I- can we... pick this up later? You have a plane to catch in-" Bruce looked at his watch. "-two hours, and you're not even dressed."
Tony looked down at his t-shirt and sweatpants and shrugged. "It's my plane. It can wait."
"That'll just make Pepper mad, and I... I would prefer to work alone for today, okay?" He tried to look as innocent as he wanted his words to be.
Tony's brows furrowed. "You sure?"
Bruce nodded and quickly kissed him on the lips. "Yeah. I'll see you when you get back."
Tony immediately wished the kiss had been longer. He wanted to feel wanted, but obviously Bruce didn't want him now, and that was okay. Kind of.
"Yeah, I'll see you then. Love you," Tony added hopefully.
"You too," Bruce said, adjusting figures on a screen.
Meanwhile, Tony tried to convince himself that everything was fine and leaving Bruce Banner alone and stressed-out so he could work was ultimately the right thing to do.