Blue Hearted

by azurebluehearts

"I want no hurt, I want no pain, but with every rainbow comes a little rain." The words of Blueheart, and in this strangely soothing tale of mixed emotions, you peer deep into the soul of Blueheart, the cat with no identity. She is nothing but a shadow, a whisper that is sent with a chill, the she-cat with the blue heart.

6. Forgetting

SIX

It was so long.

I hadn't visited in forever, just faded into shadow. However desperately I missed anyone, I didn't show my face for at least twelve moons; a year. I didn't know why, I had just wanted to clear up my head. A lot of times I thought about my kits, with Black and Cheetah, and how well they were doing. One time, I had a kit with Black and she looked exactly like me. Sandy fur, blue eyes, brown stripes. We named her Sapphirekit. She held my funny personality and loving eyes. There was yet another runt, a black kit with dark blue eyes and a brown paw, which Black named Leafkit. And then there was another one, which had faded from my memory long ago.

I missed my friends and family. Everyone. But I finally came back, carrying a burning command. "Raven, tell Cheetahfang that I want my kits back. We're over, but we can't pretend that living, breathing kits are. I'm expecting them."

She agreed politely, and we talked. Raven and Cheetah had become smitten while I was gone. That was fine with me, for they were a much needed pairing.

No later I received my kits that I heard through the starling's nest that Cheetah was boasting about how he was keeping Crowkit, that he was biggest of the litter, how I kept a hefty one and a mere runt. 'Has he grown absolutely mad without my guidance?' My brain had tittered, which my conscience had retorted, 'Shove a sock in it, Raven'll do him good.'

...

I hadn't seen Black in so long. It makes me wonder, but never too much. I engulfed myself completely in my kits and friends. In a flash my kits were old enough to take care of themselves, they left the nursery, they left my side, they left my thought, but they never left my heart.

And neither did Blackpelt, Cheetahfang of Ravensong. They are all a permanent part of my memory, and I've accepted that already. The time I've conversed with Blackpelt about creating a reality out of a revenge plot, the time me and Raven had fought so whole-heartedly neither of us could take no for an answer, the time Cheetah had begged for my hand and won me with a love song, which he yowled loudly with pride, after getting mad at him for adding Raven to his 'lady-friends' list. He did all of this, although, through my friend Violetpaw, but somehow I know she'll be the easiest to forget.