A\N: BTW, guys the ways to annoy Skipper are all on the PenguinsHQ, so I´m taking the ideas from there. Sorry, but no requests. xP

7) When he´s being paranoid again, sing ´Always look at the bright side of life´:

"Hey Skipper, whatcha doin´?" Marlene asked. The penguin was on top of the bell tower, writing on a sketchpad and glaring through binoculars. "Observing." "Observing what exactly?" "The lemurs…" Skipper pointed to the said habitat. Julian was standing underneath his throne, his face half covered in the shadows, watching Mort and Maurice walk back and forth, carrying something. Marlene face-palmed. "Skipper, they´re moving their coconuts to the other side of their habitat because the chimps are accidently dropping their poo on them." The flat headed penguin gave her a look. "You really expect me to believe that?" "Well, do you have another explanation?" The officer nodded. He looked back to the lemurs' habitat. "My guess is that those ´coconuts´ are actually smoke bombs that release deadly nerve gas. Once we´re out of the way, that psycho Ringtail is going to take over the zoo, then Manhattan, then New York City and finally, America! And this plan is perfect since no one would expect the ringtail to have the brains to do it. No one except me!" Marlene shook her head. Julian then turned toward his boom box and pressed ´play´. Immediately, tunes and notes floated through the air and reached the bell tower.

"Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad

Other things just make you swear and curse.

When you're chewing on life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the best..."

Then Marlene started singing with the singer.

"And...always look on the bright side of life...

Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd

And death's the final word

You must always face the curtain with a bow.

Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin

Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death

Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of junk

When you look at it

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.

You'll see it's all a show

Keep 'em laughing as you go

And...always look on the bright side of life...

Always look on the light side of life... "

She finished and the lemurs turned the radio off. The otter started to laugh when she saw Skipper´s stunned face.

"Very funny." The penguin growled before packing his stuff and sliding back to his HQ.

*8) Make random references to a book or movie whenever you feel like doing so:

The penguins were relaxing in their HQ. Rico and Private were reading comics, Kowalski was propped up against the wall with a pillow while typing stuff into his new calculator and Skipper was reading the newspaper while sipping coffee.

"Skippah," Private said suddenly, looking up from his comic. Skipper glanced at the rookie. "What?" "Suit up!" The Brit declared then went back to reading.

Skipper looked at him weirdly, but said nothing and went back to his newspaper.

Silence filled the air once again, before getting interrupted by Kowalski´s startled gasp. "Heffalumps and Woozles! This equation might be the key!"

He started scribbling away on his notepad.

His officer rolled his eyes at his lieutenant's excitement. "My car!" Rico gasped, pointing to a page. "That´s fabulous, Rico!" Private responded, then added, "I´m fabulous!"

"Team, can you be a little quieter with your projects? I´m trying to re-"

Someone knocked on the door three times. "Skipper." Three more knocks. "Skipper!" Three more knocks. "Skipper!"

"I´m coming Marlene!" Skipper stood up and the door. The otter stood there, holding two plates. "Have a Cheese ´n´ Weiner! Or a puppy-in-blanket! They´re on sale this week!" "Uhm, no thank you…" Skipper stepped back. "Is that blood on the Wieners?"

Marlene looked at it then smiled. "Yes, only a tiny bit from my left arm!"

The penguin gagged.

"What the Hades? You put blood on there?" Private asked, looking as green as his leader.

"Yes, just a little though!"

"Uhm, look Marlene. I´m sure Julian would LOVE to try some…why don´t you just head over to his habitat?"

"Of course! Oh and Skipper?"

"What?"

"I challenge you to a duel for kicking me out!" The otter slammed the door shut.

Skipper sank back into his chair, rubbing away a coming headache. "Team, go out and get some snow cones. I need some rest."

"Sure, Skippah!" The team left and the officer decided to lay down in his bunk to rest.

"RINGTAIL!" The Katta flew out of Skipper´s bunk.

"Fine! If you prefer a feathery pillow instead of a royal one!"

"Get…out…!"

9) Feel free to interrupt any important moment with a Star Wars moment like telling him with the same voice as Darth Vader told Luke he was his father: "Skipper, I'm your daughter/son!" If he stares at you and asks who the deuce your mother is – and if you're feeling courageous – choose one of the following… or more, if you want: "Marlene / Kitka / Lola / Private / Rico / Kowalski / Julien / Maurice / Mort or… Alice.":

"Move out men! A city tour bus is under attack by some crazy Hoboken fugitives! I want Kowalski and Rico on the front line. Private, you´re coming with me. Stay within shouting distance!"

"Yes Sir!"

Suddenly the door burst open and AT stumbled in. "Skipper!"

"Not now, AT! We´re on a tight schedule to catch up with the tour bus."

"No, I have to tell you something really important!" The author panted and fell down in front of him, grabbing his chest feathers.

"Well…make it quick!"

"Skipper…I´m your daughter!"

"…"

Apparently the tour bus was forgotten as the penguin stared at her in pure shock and horror.

"…Who the deuce is your mother?"

"Blowhole."

Immediately Skipper could feel the others look at him in disgust.

"Haha, very funny. Now, if you will excuse us, we have to rescue some New York citizens." The officer shoved her away then signaled his team to move out.

"You never denied it!" AT shouted after him.

10) If he's asking for options and Kowalski's not present – if he is, knock him aside – and jump up and down, waving your hand in the air as if you're in class. Yell: "Oooh, I know, I know! Pick me!" If he does choose you, stare blankly at him for about three seconds and mumble: "I forgot…":

"Kowalski, I´m gonna need some effective options on how to shut down the zoo. The last thing that we need is a zombie invasion. So, options!" Just as Kowalski opened his mouth to reply, Rico pushed him aside, waving his flipper in the air. "Me! I kno! Pick me!" Skipper looked between his genius lieutenant and his psycho weapon experts. Then he sighed. "Fine, Rico, but if you suggest that we eliminate the zoo so the zombies can´t get to them, then I won´t ask you again. So what are your options?" "…" The scarred penguin stared at Skipper blankly. "Uhm…I fo´got." He mumbled finally. "Kowalski?" The scientist stood up and rubbed his head. "Well, I had some! But when somebody roughly shoved me into the wall, I failed to remember." "Ugh! Private? Options?"

A\N: That´s chapter three. I´ll try to make them longer. ^^ FOUR DAYS TILL SCHOOL! DDX *The TV shows\books in the order they appeared in: how i met you mother, Winnie the Pooh, Penguins of Madagascar, High School Musical 2, The Big Bang Theory, Heroes of Olympus book 2, Clue (the book series) Review! xD