A/N: My semester is almost over, about a week left. I'm restless; I can barely get myself to do anything. A couple of my projects are hovering over my head, looming like big monsters. I've had trouble sleeping most of this week. And writer's block, yes, that is unpleasant. And at this moment I am fighting a cold, have been since right after Thanksgiving. I hate my roommate, all she does is watch soaps and sit around and not brush her teeth. She disgusts me. And generally emotion and unhappiness (or extreme happiness) wreaks havoc on my writing frequency. That's my excuse, lame I know. I have a better, more personal one involving my boyfriend but…not going into that. :-) Oh one thing I will go into…EXCELLENT piece of art to go along with last chapter specifically! It can be found here http:// shirei. Swear-that-you-are-mine-69962389 Just take out the I've put in. That excellent work of art was created by Shirei. THANK YOU SHIREI:-)

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Sesshomaru.

Last Chapter: Shimofuri may be married to Arasoizuki's widow and may be forced to adopt his son. He has vowed to punish Sesshomaru for his wrongs, somehow. Sesshomaru and Rin fought and Sess agreed to leave Rin at Naishougoto with Ginrei. He left after briefly trying to declare Hanone his heir so that he could annul his marriage and please Rin, but Ginrei insisted that Hanone was her child, and Sesshomaru would take their son, not Hanone. Sesshomaru met with Daken and journeyed without purpose.

NOTE: this chapter starts off weirdly with Shimofuri, but give it time, it gets much better…and btw my weirdness has purpose…

Epilogue: Family

Delegates from high in the north arrived late in the evening in the Nanka province of the Middle Lands. Shimofuri met with them, dressed richly and ceremonially in his gray-blue robes. Tsukiyume dressed in russet-orange, like the sunset, and flanked him in the room, silently observing the room with her keen, brownish eyes. Directly at Shimofuri's side was his uncle, Sasugainu, also dressed to impress. The three of them constituted all that was left of the ruling class of inuyoukai that had once presided over the Middle Lands.

Nishiyori's entire clan had vanished, and Arasoizuki had been killed as well.

It was the spring after Sesshomaru had arranged peace treaties in the Middle Lands, and with the new season of birth, renewal, and life, there was also the same resentment, betrayal, and death.

Shimofuri despised his uncle and within him a deep rooted rage had started for Sesshomaru and his boundless power. He was pinned between his cowardly uncle and Sesshomaru's watchful eye. Saugainu was his elder and, though his uncle was not the supreme ruler of the Middle Lands, Shimofuri was expected to defer slightly to the older, more experienced leader. He broiled beneath the surface but expressed it to no one, not even to his younger sister. He sheltered Tsukiyume, for her own good, to protect her from the political intrigues. She was smart enough that she probably perceived much of it on her own, but Shimofuri did his best to keep her obscure. She was the one creature that mattered to him, the only bit of his family that remained for him to be proud of and to cherish.

The delegates were guards and escorts from the north. Arasoizuki's widow, named Yamome was their charge. In their court she sat in the center, bowing with all of the other delegates. Her son, Arasoizuki's only remaining heir now after Sesshomaru had destroyed his castle, was tucked away safely in the north. The son might never come to join his mother in the Middle Lands, even if Shimofuri and Yamome were married, as was the plan. He had been taken in by his mother's clan, secreted away. Until he was old enough to rule, chances were they wouldn't relinquish him.

The discussions began. Shimofuri, although he was the reigning ruler, spoke little during the meeting. He watched Yamome, wondering if he could marry her or not. He was very young, the youngest inuyoukai in all of the room. Yamome was older than him, but her scent was appealing and even dressed in black for her mourning she was fair, perhaps even beautiful.

The clan in the north was fair-haired and blue or green eyed. The delegates all looked alike and spoke with the same slight accent. Yamome herself didn't speak throughout; her opinion in the affair would scarcely matter. As a widow she had virtually no rights. If her clan felt it was proper, they could order her to commit suicide. Yet, in this case, they kept her around. Shimofuri thought he saw intelligence in her eyes, though she tried to keep her gaze always downcast and hidden.

The delegates retired for the night, spiriting away Yamome with them. Alone in the audience room with just family, Sasugainu grinned openly at his nephew. "Lady Yamome is a superior bitch. That rat Arasoizuki snagged a fine wife."

Shimofuri felt his jaw clench, but he said nothing. By all rights Yamome should still have been Arasoizuki's fine catch of a wife. She shouldn't have been forced to sit in her mourning robes, facing a young, almost juvenile ruler that was poised to replace her husband. In the whispered legends of Sesshomaru's attack on Arasoizuki and his castle, Shimofuri had heard that Yamome had crawled out of the burning wreckage, carrying her only surviving son in her arms. The other child died alone in the fire, caught sleeping when the attack came. If her surviving son had been any bigger, if she hadn't been holding him when the castle fell around her, it seemed impossible that either of her sons would've survived.

"You are silent, Nephew. You disagree?" Sasugainu probed, searching over Shimofuri's face carefully.

Tiredly, Shimofuri sighed. "I had not given any thought to a marriage. This hardly seems like my idea. What does it benefit me?"

"You keep Arasoizuki's land." Sasugainu replied, sharply. "And it is in your interests. She isn't related to you. The clan is huge in the north. You need to be married and it's a fine alliance."

"I'm too young." Shimofuri murmured absently. His blue-gray eyes unfocused and stared off into the distance beyond Sasugainu.

"You are too young—too young to know what's good for you." Sasugainu snapped, growing irritable. "This is the arrangement that Lord Sesshomaru set up to appease them…"

"He should have been the one to pay something for it."

"You aren't being punished," Sasugainu snarled, "No one is being punished! This is a good match!"

With his lips pinched tightly, Shimofuri gave a curt nod. "Yes, Uncle."

"I'd marry her if I didn't have one bitch already! Hah!"

Shimofuri's expression did not change. "Yes, Uncle."

Sasugainu cocked his head, becoming eager, almost belligerent, "Then you'll agree to the marriage? You'll marry Lady Yamome?"

Shimofuri fought the desire to snarl at his uncle by rising to his feet stiffly. "I will give it some thought. There is still time for me to consider the match before I make my final decision, is there not?"

Snorting, Sasugainu waved his hand at Shimofuri dismissively. As Shimofuri walked past him, Sasugainu turned and glanced at Tsukiyume. "You know, your brother is mad to stall. It could insult our guests."

Though the words were clearly meant to draw a reaction out of him, Shimofuri pretended as if his uncle had said nothing. He passed out of the audience room and retreated swiftly to his chambers. The maids waited there, young human men, bowed and ready to help him undress. Shimofuri dismissed them with a gesture and they hurried away, scurrying out the door and closing it behind them.

Alone, Shimofuri stripped out of his heavy ceremonial robes until only the lighter, under robe was left behind. He tossed the delicate, silky garments aside and left them at the foot of his futon, uncaringly. The servants would deal with that later.

He cracked the window, allowing the chilled, spring air to rush in. It was rich with the smells of reproduction. Trees were starting to unfurl their leaves and their blossoms. Birds were arriving from wherever they had migrated to in the winter. Animals were emerging out of hibernation. Even fungus, bacteria, and other microbial life forms were springing up out of the dirt, coming alive after their winter dormancy.

Normally, a whiff of the outside world would steady Shimofuri, letting him feel the awakening inside his own young, powerful body. He was just entering the prime of his life as an inuyoukai, though he was already a few hundred years old. Sesshomaru and Sasugainu were older than Shimofuri by leaps and bounds; even Lady Yamome could be twice his age. Scenting spring on the wind should've made Shimofuri feel powerful and young; it should've also calmed him, clearing his mind of the bitterness and rage that burned inside him.

But it didn't.

Instead the spring air seemed to wrap him in fatigue, heavy and dense as fog. Shimofuri shook his head, rolled his eyes, and snorted like an animal, trying to clear his nostrils. Stepping back from the window he settled onto his futon and closed his eyes. Almost at once he was asleep, transported to an entirely different world through his dreams.

He found himself sitting on dewy grass, beside a marsh that was rich to all of his senses. The scents were of plant decomposition, marsh gases and lily pads. It was a scent that most humans wouldn't want to linger around, but to Shimofuri it was not entirely repulsive. It was nighttime, but when Shimofuri craned his neck, he spotted the pink of sunrise or sunset, he couldn't be sure of which. The pond water was in motion, full of ripples, as if some invisible child were continually tossing small pebbles into it. In reality that motion was created by fish and insects, landing on the surface. The frogs were peeping, croaking, calling for their mates. Calling for sex. It was a beautiful, almost unearthly sound.

A deep woman's voice rose up behind him, startling Shimofuri into turning around hastily and taking up a defensive stance immediately. The woman was small, almost childlike. When Shimofuri saw her he dropped his stance at once. He realized that when she'd spoken he hadn't understood her. Cautiously, he asked, "I'm sorry…?"

She smiled and began to step forward. Shimofuri was at last able to see her clearly as she neared. She had pinkish hair that fell in a cascade around her. Her face was young, gentle, and round. She was quite short, not quite reaching to Shimofuri's chest. Had Rin stood at this woman's side, she would have dwarfed the pink-haired stranger.

"Shimofuri." The woman spoke again with her deep voice. It was odd, mismatched with her body, so young and childlike. Shimofuri resisted the urge to scowl at the strangeness.

"Yes?" he was beginning to suspect that this was no ordinary dream. He eyed the woman as she approached with open suspicion.

"I have a proposition for you." The small woman smiled, subtly. Her eyes were a rich brown, reminding Shimofuri abruptly of Rin's eyes…he looked away, back toward the pond with its endless, unexplained ripples.

"Speak, whatever you are." It was a dream vision. He had been summoned by this being, whatever she—it—was. He would only be released from the dream when he had heard her out and given her an answer, or promised to give it thought. His uncle's face flashed before his mind's eye. Why was everyone pushing him into making decisions that he didn't want to make?

The small woman gave a small, chirp-like laugh, reminiscent of a bird. "You are a sad anomaly, Lord Shimofuri." The woman dropped to her knees a few feet from him and to his side. Shimofuri watched her covertly from the corner of one eye. She reached out with a slender, pale arm, dipping her fingers into the water. When she lifted them, the water dribbled away, silvered and full of light. The droplets met the darkness of the water and swirled, becoming little minnow-like fish. They swam away, rippling the water.

"You are a water nymph?" Shimofuri asked, sharply.

She smiled widely but didn't lift her eyes to him. Instead she moved her hand over to the dewy grass and smoothed it over with her palm. Tiny frogs squeezed out from underneath her touch, wriggling in the grass and then hopping away energetically, croaking and calling for love. "I am not a silly nymph." She glanced up at him and Shimofuri saw that her eyes weren't just close to looking like Rin's—it was Rin's eyes, her gaze. The small woman's face changed, gently, and she became Rin, though she was still too pale and too small to pass for the other woman exactly.

Unnerved, Shimofuri jerked his eyes away, blinking.

The woman laughed. "I am sometimes called Koeru—but for you, Lord Shimofuri, I will be called Jishin."

"You're a goddess."

Her smile was Rin's own, worn on Rin's face, but the eyes were no longer accurate, they were too dark now, almost black like obsidian, and her hair was still pink like cherry blossoms. "I am the giver of life. It was I that touched your mother's womb to create you, young one."

Shimofuri ignored her. "What do you want with me?" And why do you look like Lady Rin?

"You have a problem. There is an imbalance of power." Her voice grew darker. "You know of whom I speak."

Shimofuri turned his back on her, warily. He glanced at the sky and saw that it had grown darker since he'd last looked at it—and now the stars were spinning. It was not a wild spinning, but Shimofuri could see their progress, the constellations whirling and changing. Abruptly he felt a surge of nausea and looked away, closing his eyes.

The goddess, Jishin, continued speaking. "Do not marry Lady Yamome."

With his eyes still closed, Shimofuri asked, "Why not?"

"Because she will not help you correct the imbalance—but if you take my advice and turn her away, I will give you power."

Stiffly, Shimofuri asked, "And what do I have to do for you," he pronounced her name carefully in a growl, "Jishin?"

"For now you must only turn Lady Yamome away." Jishin's voice came close behind him, whispering. "Send her back to the north. I will visit you again when you do."

"How will you bring me power over Sesshomaru?" Shimofuri whirled around to face Jishin but found himself alone on the dewy grass at the edge of the pond. The frogs cheeped and croaked, continuing their song uninterrupted by the creatures speaking so close by.

Snarling to himself, Shimofuri turned around several times, searching for the goddess. There was no sign of her. He glanced up on impulse and saw that the blackness of the night sky was awash in white light, the stars were circling wildly in an insane, sickening light show. Wincing and choking, Shimofuri covered his eyes and crouched down low, stumbling…

He woke on his futon then, gasping. His eyes still stung from the light, though his room was dark around him. His skin was hot and clammy. To his alarm, he discovered that he hadn't undressed at all. The rich, ceremonial clothes that he was certain he'd left at the foot of his futon were no longer present; instead they were still wrapped around him, hardly loosened at all. When he craned his neck and glanced to the window, he saw that it was still tightly shut. The room was stuffy, the air thick…

A vision. Why would she look like Rin? Jishin's gaze haunted him as he rose from his futon and moved toward the door. He wouldn't marry Lady Yamome. He hadn't wanted to in the first place. It would be a relief for him to deny her and send her home. His uncle wouldn't be happy, and the clan in the north would likely be outraged and offended, but Shimofuri had already made up his mind. He would do what Jishin had instructed, but not because he believed or trusted her promise of power.

He hadn't wanted to marry Lady Yamome anyway. Jishin had nothing to do with his decision. None at all…

(Back in time a few months from Shimofuri's encounter…)

As the months passed, Rin first entered depression. Every morning and every night were spent writing feverishly, but none of the letters were sent. Rin tore them apart, burned them, or hid the letters, rather than sending them. Sometimes she dressed and ate with Jaken, Ginrei, and on occasion the general Oushi that Sesshomaru had left to watch over Ginrei and Rin. Other times she stayed hidden away in her room, staring into nothing, listening to Saya's tiny, whispering breath.

Once, while Saya slept soundly in the night, Rin left her futon and stepped out onto the balcony in the cold. It was the dead of winter, snow was heavy and still on the ground, crusted there from wind and temperature changes. It was the ugliest time of winter, when the scenery and the weather were unchanged. The days and nights were the same, bitterly cold even without a wind. The whole world seemed full of stillness, waiting in vain for the spring and the thaw. For the return to life and rain, or just for snowfall.

Rin stepped out into that icebox, closing the door behind her to keep it from disturbing tiny, innocent Saya. Numb to the cold, she stood at the edge of the balcony and stared down at the snowed-in gardens around Naishougoto, and at the ice over the lake. If she leapt from the second story, would the impact be great enough to crack the ice and take her under into the ugly, dirty black water? That extreme chill, and with the ice over top of her, it would kill her without question…

Barefoot, Rin lifted one leg into the air, over the edge of the balcony. It was an awkward, clumsy position and she teetered, thrown off balance. The thrill of fear made her step back and bump into the closed sliding door. She blinked wildly and drew in deep breaths. With each exhale her breath fogged out around her mouth thickly. It was fascinating to watch, and strangely beautiful. She imagined that breath not coming, ceasing completely. She held her breath and observed the emptiness of the night air without her breath…

And she thought of beautiful Saya, sleeping snugly in the futon. Without her mother's body heat, the baby could begin to get cold before morning. Rin thought of Inuyasha: tough, harsh, and determined, but also vulnerable. She didn't dare leave her child. She was hanyou, she would need every advantage that she could get.

Puffing out her long-held breath, Rin fought the desire to cry, blinking back her tears. How selfish had she been to consider death? My life is not my own…she belonged to Saya now.

New strength filled Rin then and she began to recover, emerging more and more from her room. Occasionally she sat down to try and write a real letter to Sesshomaru, a request that he return to Naishougoto to see Saya, to see how his very first child had begun to sit up on her own and to crawl and even to walk…but the letters were never completed and Rin was never satisfied with them. They became personal journals instead, filled with Rin's thoughts and her observations, mainly centered on her daughter, Ginrei, and Hanone.

The snow is wet and thick today, the weather is warming. I was sick to my stomach for a time, with a fever. I worried that Saya would catch it from me, but she has stayed healthy as always. It feels good to be healthy again. I ate soup earlier today, and it was probably the finest I've ever had.

Saya is smaller than Hanone, I'm not certain why. It is odd because Saya is already walking while Hanone can barely crawl. I feel sad sometimes to see it because already she is growing so fast, soon I won't be able to hold her. She will want to walk everywhere. She will want to pretend she is a big girl. It's such a frightening thing, to worry about losing her. What if she falls into the lake? What if she falls from the balcony…?

She often wondered about Sesshomaru, but almost as soon as she caught herself thinking or remembering her mate, Rin pushed him out of her mind. The old pain would rise within her and ache for a time until she managed to forget it completely, focusing on her daughter, or on Ginrei or Hanone or even Jaken and Oushi.

The months passed and gradually, Rin was able to forget that such a massive part of her life had vanished, disappearing into the wilderness more than a two seasons ago. There was no word of when he would return and Rin eventually was able to go to sleep at night without wondering if she would be wakened in the night by his presence. She refused to cry when each morning and each night had passed and he had not yet reappeared.

Messages came from Shimofuri off and on throughout the wintertime. Oushi told her this usually in the mornings while everyone was present together, but the news was always spoken directly to her. Oushi set Rin on edge. The inuyoukai was very loyal to Sesshomaru, but she felt that his eyes were predatory, watching her like a hawk, waiting for her to make a mistake. She wondered if he passed on messages to Sesshomaru, updating him on how things were…what would he say about her? She does not miss you. She is interested when I tell her that Shimofuri has sent a message, but she never asks to see it…

It was true, she never responded when he told her there were messages for her. Partly it was because she didn't believe him—it was unlike Shimofuri to be so foolish to send a blind message to Naishougoto. Did he even know where Rin was located? Rin hadn't written to him, though sometimes she considered it, bitterly.

She stood by her promise to Sesshomaru, stubbornly.

One winter morning when Oushi informed Rin that there was a message, Ginrei spoke up, asking, "May I see it?"

Oushi, standing in the doorway of the tearoom, blinked back at her stupidly. When he spoke it was stammered. "The message is addressed to Lady Rin."

"Oh." Ginrei sighed as if this news dampened her spirits. Yet, even as she playacted this response, Ginrei's silvered eyes slid toward Rin keenly and her lips smiled faintly. "That's too bad. You know that Lord Shimofuri is a distant cousin of mine, I believe." Her face twisted up slightly with remembered pain, "He represented my deceased family at my marriage." The word deceased was synonymous with murdered inside Ginrei's sentence.

Her words made Rin frown and look away embarrassedly. She was mated to the creature responsible for Ginrei's loss. Oushi cleared his throat awkwardly and left the room, disappearing from the palace for the rest of the day. If he joined them for breakfasts in the morning he no longer reported phony messages from Shimofuri to test Rin's loyalty.

The snows had completely melted when Sesshomaru appeared mysteriously, returning unannounced to Naishougoto. It was evening when he arrived.

Ginrei was out in the gardens, bundled up carefully in heavy, warm kimono robes to ward off the remaining springtime chill. It was embroidered with blossoming flowers, whites, pinks, reds, and yellows. Hanone, still barely in the crawling stages, was picking at the newly sprouted grasses, gurgling contentedly. When she tried to eat the strands she plucked from time to time, Ginrei pulled them away from her daughter, making Hanone fuss and wrinkle her face.

A chilly wind picked up through the trees, rustling their leaves. The gardeners had been working day and night to clear the dead leaves that had been hidden beneath the snow all winter. They were planting flowers at one end of the garden now, alongside a hedge. Ginrei could smell their rich, fertile pollen when she inhaled. It was pleasing, even intoxicating…

As if in agreement with her mother, Hanone dropped her handful of grass and sneezed loudly. Snot blew out of her nose and she clawed at it with her fingertips, whimpering with confusion and frustration.

Ginrei knelt to help Hanone with her mucus mess, but paused in mid motion when the wind brought her another very different scent. It was a scent that Ginrei picked up every day inside both Hanone and Saya.

She stood up and turned around, searching the garden.

Over one of the hills, Ginrei spotted something white, moving at the far end of the garden, coming slowly, leisurely toward her. Tense, in spite of herself, Ginrei knelt and scooped up Hanone, holding her daughter close, almost possessively. She waited, watching as the white figure drew closer and closer. Hanone squirmed in her arms, cooing in a way that Ginrei had never heard before. It was an instinctual call that the young child made to illicit attention from her father. She knew him just as Ginrei did by scent. She knew him by blood and instinct that was buried eons deep.

Sesshomaru came within ten feet of Ginrei and his full-blooded daughter and stopped. He met Ginrei's eyes with his own hawk-like gold once and then let his gaze slide away, as if bored. "Ginrei. You are well?"

"Yes I am, Lord Sesshomaru." Holding Hanone tightly, Ginrei bowed. "Welcome back to Naishougoto, Husband." As she stood erect again, cautiously, Ginrei tried to search his face, to understand his return. "Is…May I ask a question, my lord?"

"You may." Sesshomaru responded, dully.

With a quick glance at the area around them, searching for Rin, Ginrei spoke. "Has the time come that my husband expects another child? His heir?"

The question apparently startled the usually untouchable Sesshomaru. He stared at her for a time without speaking. Then: "You are not yet fertile."

It was true, Ginrei had not begun to bleed properly again since Hanone's birth. She was still nursing her daughter, though that action wasn't necessary. False milk could be produced and turned out for Hanone to drink. She wouldn't like the switch, but she would grow accustomed to it. If Ginrei stopped nursing her daughter she would quickly become fertile once more, and she and Sesshomaru could work on conceiving the next child, hopefully a boy, a proper heir.

Ginrei ducked into another bow and didn't speak. Hanone squealed and squirmed, reaching out her tiny but fat fists at her father. Her fingertips were delicately clawed.

Sesshomaru's gaze lingered on his daughter for a moment, his attention caught. "She has grown."

Ginrei's answer was stiff. "Yes…"

His golden gaze narrowed at last on Ginrei, taking note of her change in tone. Her head was still bowed, but Sesshomaru didn't need to see her face to know that she was feeling possessive. Hanone was her child; her posture screamed that she felt threatened. She was stiff, though she tried to hide it. She was eager for Sesshomaru to make his intentions clear, or simply leave.

Under his scrutiny, Ginrei flinched and took a step backward. "Lady Rin awaits you, I am certain."

Wordlessly, Sesshomaru glided by her, heading for the palace. When he was beyond her at last, Ginrei dropped onto the grass and nuzzled Hanone's cheeks and neck, breathing in her baby's rich, milky scent. Hanone fought her, whimpering, watching the strange male that she instinctively knew to be her father as he vanished, moving elegantly, almost flowing over the bridge that crossed the lake to Naishougoto, perched as it was in the center of the lake.

Ginrei covered her daughter's eyes and forced one finger into her mouth, letting the frustrated child become distracted with suckling on it. "Forget him, baby." She whispered, closing her eyes and letting her long, silvered hair fall around them both like a curtain, "Forget about him."

Sesshomaru met Oushi the moment he stepped into the palace. His general stood at attention, stiffly, and dropped into a nervous bow. "Lord Sesshomaru…"

"Sit up." Sesshomaru ordered, curtly. He surveyed the halls around he and Oushi briefly, sniffed at the gentle airflow of the palace, seeking Rin's scent. If she was close by, she would've heard Oushi's stiff greeting. How would she react? Would she come out to greet him as a proper, loving mate? Was the iciness between them still strong and unyielding? Ginrei had seemed to indicate that Rin was truly still at the palace, and Oushi hadn't sent any word to reveal otherwise…

"Where is Rin?"

"In the tearoom, my lord." Oushi answered.

Sesshomaru slipped past Oushi without any further comment. It was possible that Rin had heard Oushi's voice from the tearoom, yet there was no sign of activity from down the hall. She was either ignoring him or she'd simply missed Oushi's voice. He stomped forward, eager to find out.

As he reached the sliding door that lead to the tearoom, Sesshomaru paused for a second, hearing Jaken's high, whiny voice rising from within. That would be why Rin hadn't heard Oushi announcing his arrival.

"Rin!" Jaken huffed loudly, "You must let her do it for herself! Let the child chew it! It will harden her palate!"

A child cried out in a strangled, growling sound that might've been a halfway formed word. The scent of seasonings hit Sesshomaru's nose, as well as a clean smell of vegetables. It was springtime and Saya was old enough to try eating solid foods. In the summer and fall she would get her first tastes of plums, cherries, and other sweet food treats. But for now she would be forced to contend with vegetables that had been preserved through the wintertime.

"Please Saya…" Rin begged her daughter, using a sweet, playful voice that forced a tingle to travel up and down Sesshomaru's spine. His fingers flicked reflexively against the sliding door, making a faint rasping sound. Although faint, this sound was enough to trigger Jaken's attention.

"Come in!" he shouted, impatiently. "Foolish maid…"

Sesshomaru slid the door open even as Jaken pushed himself away from his cushion and hobbled forward. His toadish eyes bugged outward with shock and his mouth fell open, gaping. He plastered himself to the floor. "Lord Sesshomaru! I was not expecting…"

But Sesshomaru ignored the toad and stepped over him, moving to the head of the small tea table. His golden eyes were set unwaveringly on Rin.

"My lord! We are honored! You have returned at last!" Jaken gushed, bowing repeatedly.

Without looking at Jaken, Sesshomaru ordered him to sit and the toad scurried back to his cushion immediately. The toad gestured wildly at Rin. "Pour Lord Sesshomaru some tea!"

Jaken was addressing Rin without a title, as if she were equal or lower in stature to him. Before Rin had a chance to make any movement to serve her mate tea or not, Sesshomaru focused a wrathful glare at the impish frog. "Jaken, you will address Rin as your superior."

"My lord!" the frog gasped, choking and stammering. He started to bow and apologize for his offence—for it was clear that he had offended Sesshomaru, though Rin stared at the exchange blankly uncaring of how Jaken addressed her—only to bash his thick, round head against the table, jarring it. "Oh! Ow!" he shrieked.

Sesshomaru was anything but sympathetic. Staring straight ahead toward the center of the table where the tea was already chilled, he commanded Jaken to leave. The imp obeyed at once, mumbling apologies all the way out. He closed the door hurriedly once he passed through it, leaving Rin, Sesshomaru, and Saya alone together for the first time in many long months.

Without appearing to, Sesshomaru examined both Rin and Saya. Rin was leaner than he recalled, but she appeared stronger as well. Her kimono was of a lush, green waterfall with silvered waters. Her hair was carefully tucked away and black as ever, without the slightest hint of gray. She stared at the table, avoiding his gaze.

Saya, meanwhile, was staring openly at him. There was some sort of sauce smeared over her mouth and a bowl of finely chopped vegetables sitting before her. Saya was apparently capable of sitting upright for long periods of time without any aid from Rin. She grasped the table with only one hand while she stared at Sesshomaru with widened, golden eyes. When his gaze flicked to her, Saya broke out in a mostly toothless grin and clapped her tiny, clawed fists together.

Rin moved then, reaching for a cloth that was sitting to one side of Saya. It was already dirty and raggedy, smeared with old food from meals long gone. Rin wiped Saya's face though the baby resisted, squirming and slapping at Rin's hands. On the rare moment that the rag slipped beyond her mouth, Saya started to openly protest in half-formed words.

"Naaaaah! Nah Mah!!"

Almost embarrassedly, Rin stopped cleaning Saya's face and dropped her hands into her lap, still clutching the dirtied rag. Her shoulders rose and fell in a silent, tense sigh. Saya clapped her hands happily again, unaware of the adult tension flowing thickly in the little tearoom.

Abruptly, Sesshomaru spoke. "I have brought you a gift."

Rin blinked and almost lifted her head, almost looked at him directly. "Lord Sesshomaru?"

Without further explanation, Sesshomaru reached to his belt and tugged on the sash that secured his swords to his waist. It slipped loose easily and Sesshomaru pulled one sword away from his other two. Lifting it, he placed it slowly on the tea table before Rin. It was a small, short blade, similar in its outward appearance to the one she'd left with Inuyasha and his family, Burikko. It curved beautifully, and the hilt was silvered and shining with mother of pearl.

"It has been named Shinjubo." Sesshomaru told her, quietly. "A youkai cannot wield it; the owner must possess some human within them."

Rin bowed. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru." She stayed ducked in her bow, blinking rapidly.

Sesshomaru could smell her tears, but pretended that he could not. "Saya has grown." He observed.

"Yes." Rin nodded, her head lowered, her face still hidden, but not enough to obscure the sparkle of the first tear that careened onto her cheeks. It rolled down swiftly and fell free into the air, landing directly beside Shinjubo. The sparkle of the tear reflected the closeness of the mother of pearl hilt—it was impossible to decide which was more beautiful.

Sesshomaru stared beyond Rin toward their daughter. "May I see her?"

"Yes." Rin murmured and shifted, turning her back on him to scoop Saya up into her arms. The baby accepted her mother's touch easily and snuggled in, pawing hopefully at Rin's kimono, hoping to get through them to nurse. She scooted closer, awkwardly on her cushion to pass Saya onto her mate's lap. Saya fought her mother slightly, but then turned her golden eyes onto her father and froze, completely enthralled.

Sesshomaru gradually lifted his arm, accepting his firstborn daughter into his lap. His powerful arm, the indestructible claws, now wrapped around the fragile, innocent baby girl. As he looked down at her, Saya reached upward and snatched his hair, but even as she tugged on it viciously, trying to get a strand of it into her mouth, Sesshomaru's expression remained calm and soft, as if he didn't register pain or discomfort at all.

She was already aging much faster than Hanone was; her humanity pushed her ahead, urging on speed. Even though she was still nursing often from Rin, Rin's human body had already become fertile again; Sesshomaru could smell the change in her hormones. Fertility overlaid with the milk-producing hormones. Humans were faster breeders, like rodents when compared to youkai. Unless all nursing was stopped, Ginrei comparatively would not become fertile again for years…

Saya gazed up at him and Sesshomaru found himself able to meet her hypnotic stare. The tension partly fled his body. She was like staring into a strange, warped mirror that shrunk his image and removed his sternness, his long years of perfecting his cold, heartless persona. The untouchable Sesshomaru. But Saya carried his face, his features, and she begged to be touched, to be loved. He knew without a doubt that this child would grow up to proclaim that she loved both her parents, fearlessly.

Sesshomaru had never spoken those three words—I love you—to either of his parents, ever that he could recall. Life was always about strictness, power, and competing with his father's huge, unassailable image…

Without realizing what he was doing, Sesshomaru brushed his fingertips over Saya's skin, letting his terrible claws rasp over her innocent, vulnerable flesh, but so lightly that the baby gurgled and opened her mouth widely, uttering half-formed words happily. She used both her hands to snatch his fingers and bit down on his palm, gumming it, tasting him.

A small sound from Rin made him glance up. She was staring at him, her chin quivering violently and silent tears rolled unstoppably down her cheeks, before rounding her chin and dribbling away, falling onto the dirty rag she was clasping in her lap.

"Rin…" his voice came out a sad, weak croak.

"Welcome back." She said, nodding slightly, and then turned her head away, hiding her tears.

The balcony doors stood open, letting the wet, heavy, and chilled breeze sweep into the room. Rin sat with Saya in her lap, wrapped in the furs on her futon. She stared out through her brown eyes at her mate, standing on the balcony, facing out toward the lake, into the wind. Saya chattered in her lap incoherently, whining in her own baby's language about the wind and the cold.

Rin said nothing. Since holding Saya and giving her the sword Shinjubo, Sesshomaru had said little to her. It continued to startle her to see him physically present, right inside the same room with her. She'd dreamed his presence many times, but always awoken with only Saya. Now she struggled to stay awake and watch him through the dimming light as the sun set.

What was on his mind? What was on her mind? She couldn't deny that she had missed him, and that seeing him again filled her with joy. But why had he returned? Was it for Ginrei? Was it just to see Saya? Was it just to give her the sword?

The wind pushed at his long, white hair, making him seem more like a ghost than like a living creature. Rin stared at it, trying to gather the courage to speak to him frankly.

"Sesshomaru." She didn't bother using a title; it would grab his attention all the more that way. He turned slightly, revealing the perfect, beautiful profile of his face. Rin plunged ahead. "Why did you come back?"

"I said that I would." He replied, coolly.

Rin shifted, frowning. The first bit of tension and distrust, long buried and repressed, began to flow back into her. She pushed it away. "I am…happy to see you."

His voice was cold. "You did not write."

She shot back an answer immediately. "Neither did you." Inside her heart had taken off, pounding frantically. If only he knew the truth. She had written, all the time. But the letters didn't appear on the surface to be addressed to him, and yet they were. She knew that, had always known that. Rather than risk talking about her bitterness and hurt, and her fear of the next time he would go to Ginrei, of the pain it caused her to actually like Ginrei and yet despise her as the second woman, she wrote about the weather, of Jaken's healing leg bone, of Saya's steady growth. Anything but her emotions, of missing him. And she had never mentioned Sesshomaru within the letters because they were for him though she would never have admitted that to herself while writing them.

Sesshomaru faced the wind again. "I thought often of you."

Rin swallowed thickly, fighting a sudden burst of nausea. If I thought of you I would've felt nothing but despair…I could not allow myself to think of you, it was too painful.

Her silence was his only answer. It dragged onward, yawning like the mouth of a whale. Swallowing them whole.

Sesshomaru took a step further out into the balcony, the motion completely hid any view that Rin might've been afforded of his face otherwise. Fear gripped her and forced her to break her silence. "You will stay tonight?"

"There is unrest in the north…"

Rin shifted violently, almost dislodging Saya from her lap. "You just came from the north!" she shouted, her voice thick with pain. "Please…"

"You wish me to stay?" the words were quiet, almost hesitant.

Rin paused, nervous abruptly. Slowly she nodded, though Sesshomaru had his back to her and would never see the motion. "Yes. I want you to stay." Unbidden, tears swarmed her eyes again and Rin growled in frustration, lifting one hand to flick them away, but more of them just kept coming.

Sesshomaru moved as she worked, trying to clear her face of them. He crossed the room swiftly and knelt at her side. She found herself blinking through her tears, frowning at them, sniffling like a child, and staring directly into Sesshomaru's warm, amber eyes. They were open, clear of any reserve, reminding her intensely of her daughter's gaze. She searched his face and found that her stomach tightened, fluttering in a pleasant way that she thought was no longer possible for her to feel.

Saya babbled in her baby language, clapped her hands. Both her parents failed to hear it.

Slowly, Sesshomaru reached out his hand, touching his fingers to Rin's cheek, feeling the moisture of her salty tears. His lips were partly opened, and they quivered once, half-forming words like Saya's. But then he closed them and withdrew. The persona of distance and cold passed over his features slightly again. "I will take Hanone as my heir…" he announced, quietly.

Though her heart was pounding frantically, Rin shook her head. "You can't do that, Ginrei loves her so much, and if she was your heir…"

Sesshomaru's face was stern. "You know there must be another heir if I do not choose Hanone."

Rin drew a breath to speak, to grant him permission for the carnal act that would create the heir he needed, but the breath was weak and shaky. It was stilted and sounded more as if she were choking. At last, she forced out, "I understand."

A fleeting frown crossed his face. He opened his mouth, "I am…sorry…"

"Promise me that it won't be for a long time." Rin stumbled over the words, pushing them out swiftly. "You have time…" I don't.

Sesshomaru nodded once. "Very well."

Saya pawed at him from between the furs, like a cat, catching Sesshomaru's attention. One golden eye peeked through a crack and then darted back. She giggled mischievously.

Rin watched as Sesshomaru peeled away the furs covering Rin and Saya on one side, tossing it away partly. Saya blinked at him, wide eyed, startled. Her mouth fell open in a silent "O" shape. Sesshomaru ducked closer and ran his fingers lightly over her skin, tickling her. Saya squealed and rolled away, crawling deeper into the furs of the futon. She screeched out, "Maaaah!"

As he sat up, seemingly regaining his dignity, Sesshomaru met Rin's brown eyes again, caught the sparkle of her unshed tears and the glimmer of her small smile. His expression softened and abruptly he pressed close to her, pressing his lips to the warmth of her neck, taking in her scent. Rin laid her forehead onto his shoulder, letting her tears escape and fall, soaking into his robes. "Thank you…" she whispered, giving into her body's shaking.

Sesshomaru wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. He closed his eyes tightly against her, allowing his emotions to sweep over him completely for the first time in long years and perhaps for the first time in the presence of another. Scowling fiercely, fighting with himself, he wrenched his lips into moving, but barely any air passed through them. "I…love you."

It didn't seem possible that she would hear him with her feeble human ears, but she did nevertheless. She choked against him, almost sounding as if she would vomit or start coughing, but instead fresh tears started, a whole rush of them, a flash flood. She broke into sobs, her shoulders shaking. Sesshomaru held her close and kept his eyes closed, forcing away the rest of the world and delving deep inside himself.

The bird chirping in the pine tree in the dead of winter. His father, bleeding on the beach on the night of his death. Rin's blood on the sheets when she'd gone into labor. The fierceness and desperation in Inuyasha's golden eyes when he'd held his brother's young son pinned to his armor…

Heat prickled his eyes but Sesshomaru ignored it and focused instead on Rin's warmth, on her tears, on her love for him. For all that he had professed to despising humanity; it was only inside humanity that the hottest passions burned. Fate could not be ignored or denied. Humanity touched every aspect of Sesshomaru's life, haunting him like a ghost. For all of his power he was nothing, nothing without the weak, frail human woman that was crying in his arms.

As Saya whimpered and crawled between them, into her mother's lap again, looking for attention, the bizarre little family became one.

WOWIE! Phew! That was a lot of work. I am exhausted. Seriously. I've been exhausted a lot lately. You know what, I'm just getting old. 21 and old already. Ugh. Okay, Return potential basic synopsis which may be subject to minor or evcen major change:

Return: After accepting a bargain she just couldn't resist, Rin discovers the price she has to pay is unthinkable when an earthquake swallows Saya and Hanone whole. Hanone finds herself a hostage in Shimofuri's castle. Saya wakens in a human village where she will discover the cruel reality of being a half-breed, of having one foot lodged in both worlds...