Title: What the Universe Holds
Pairings: Kurogane/Fai, Yasha/Ashura, others
Rating: M
Prompt:
Word Count: 1,296
Warnings: Yaoi, death, angst, romance, language
Notes: AU based on the movie Solaris, Most of the dialougue is taking from the movie.
Disclaimer: Solaris (both movie and novel) and the CLAMP characters are not mine.
"You exist here, it's what I keep trying to tell you."
"I'm not Fai."
"Who are you then?"
"I..I am Fai, but not the man you loved years ago."
"Yes, you are."
"Am I really him?" Fai looks at him, hopefully.
"I don't know anymore, all I see is you." Kurogane pulls Fai closer to kiss him.
"I want you to help me stop Yasha's plan. I want to take him with me."
"He'll die, they're mortal, despite what he's told you. What will you do then?" Kurogane has to admit the kids probably right.
"I love him."
"This isn't the place for it."
"Fai, marry me." Kurogane is holding an umbrela over them as they walk down the street.
"No, I can't you know that." Both are pressed firmly against eachother, the rain pours around them, forming a curtain of water.
"You know fifteen, twenty more years of rejection and I'll eventually give up." Fai laughs, a hand to his face as he blushes. Kurogane runs a finger against Fai's chin, making the blonde look up at him. They kiss while the world goes by without them.
Kurogane is watching a video from Yasha.
"I feel sorry for you. If he were ugly, you wouldn't want him around, that's why he's not. He's a mirror that reflects part of your mind. You can only finish were you started, remember that." Kurogane turns the screen off, taking a sleeping pill before returning to Fai.
Fai is on the couch. The bottle of sleeping pills spilled out on the bed.
"I've decided that if it's God, it's a sick God. It's ambitions exceed it's powers, but it doesn't realize it." Kurogane had gone back to Fai after watching the video.
"Please don't." Kurogane was tired of this.
For several days now while Kurogane slept, trying to get over his fever, Fai would talk to someone outside the room. While he had dreams that made him think he was breaking apart, Fai would return wiping sweat from his brow. He always wakes to Fai beside him
"Where did you go before?"
"Before?"
"Last night, you were talking ot someone in the hallway."
"You...must have been dreaming." Fai breaks into tears.
"What's wrong?" Kurogane sits up, Fai only shakes his head. Kurogane thinks he's going insane.
Kurogane is still feverish as he stands. 'Am I dying? Is this the last thought I'll have?' Everything goes black as he moves forward.
'I'm home now. I've tried to find the rhythm of the world where I used to live, but I'm seperate. Why did I return to Earth and lie about what happened? Lie about having contact with Solaris? I left them in the dark, we all did.' Kurogane is going home, taking the train from the city.
'Why come back at all, is it to see if he comes here?' Flashes of the station appear before him as he reaches his front door.
'I don't believe it will happen, but I'll wait anyway.' Kurogane sits in a recliner taking a drink from a cup. Everything fades again. He was remembering his last moments on the station.
He looks around and notices that Fai is gone. Kurogane sees aflashing light on the computer. It's a video message from Fai.
"Kuro-tan, don't blame them, I wanted them to do it. It's better this way. I'm sorry I tried to make you believe I was human. I read my suicide note, it was in your things, it's when I realized that I'm not him. I know you loved me though, I know that I felt that, and I love you. I wish we could just live inside that feeling forever. Maybe there's a place where we can, but I know its not on Earth and I know its not on this ship." Kurogane finally breaks down.
Kurogane sits with the dead Fai in his arms, crying. It's still raining outside. On the floor is the note. On it is scrawled the end of a Dylan Thomas poem, the one Kurogane had qouted to him at the party.
The first night they spoke to eachother Kurogane leans towards Fai's ear. "Though they go mad they shall be sane. Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again."
The note he reads. "Though lovers be lost love shall not. And death shall have no dominion." Kurogane wipes blonde bangs from his lover's face.
"You killed him!" Kurogane rushes at Yasha, but the man is in his room, the door slightly cracked.
"Not him, it."
"He'll come back."
"He won't."
"Bastard..." Kurogane snarls at the door and the man behind it.
"Whose side are you on?" Outside Solaris still moves slowly, but something seems off, something different about it's appearence
"It's changing and if it continues, it will implode and turn inot a blackhole in about four hours and pullsus in with it." Yasha was running, Kurogane close behind.
"Where's Syoaran?" One of the monitors he passes shows Syaoran in his room.
"Hey kid, we need you here!" Kurogane yells over the intercom.
'I won't be making the trip."
"Syaoran up here now." Yasha tries as well.
"I'm not Syaoran, I got rid of him. I wanted to be the only one, I wanted to be Syaoran. Besides I can't come back with you, I won't make it."
"Fuck, I knew it." Yasha slams a fist on the wall. Both older men look at eachother.
"When?" Kurogane can't believe it.
"Right away, that's why I was never really around anyone. I miss him, I think I made a mistake."
"You might."
"You want it to come with us?" Yasha is almost frantic.
"Go ahead, I don't want t go back." Kurogane nods, he takes one last look at the younger man laying in bed. He shuts the monitor off and with Yasha leaves.
As the ship leaves, a samll hole begins to form in the center of Solaris, slowly it expands. Within a minute the planet is swallowed in darkness.
Kurogane walks outside in the city, where he now works. He boards the train, heading towards the suburbs. 'I will find new interests, new jobs, but I will not...give myself. I won't gove myself to anyone or anything, because I'm haunted by the idea that I remembered him wrong. That I shaded my memory of him to suit myself, that I caused his destruction.'
Kurogane opens the door to his house, stepping in he removes his coat. It's still raining outside.
'I've come to believe that memory is a curse.'
He freezes in the doorway. Fai is sitting on the couch, waiting for him. The blonde turns realizing the door's open. His face melts into a smile.
Kurogane walks forward, speechless. Fai moves from the couch to stand in front of him. Kurogane breathes him in, Fai grabs him.
"How can you be here? Am I alive or dead?"
"Shh, Kuro-min, just stay with me. We don't have to think like that anymore, everything is forgiven, everything." Kurogane holds Fai gently, they sway together, both relaxing.
"I love you."
The home comes into veiw, a thick fog begins to move in, surrounding the house. The cabin is barely visible as it's enveloped in the fog. Rain continues to fall. The fog begins to form a circle, with it's body and color becoming visible. Solaris' surface swirls like a massive fog, churning like an ocean.