A\N: Nothing important to say here. X)

Guest Star:

75) Replace his food with fish crackers:

It was around one o´clock am when Skipper finally arrived home. He was hungry and muddy, (he ran into some problems on the way home) and just wanted to sleep.

Apparently, some of the animals had gotten a message that he would be returning home. Marlene, the team, Mort and Maurice were all waiting for him at the gate, half asleep from the long wait. Despite feeling hungry and tired, Skipper felt a warm feeling of happiness spreading through him. They could´ve been in their cool habitats right now, but instead choose to stay up and wait for Skipper in the stuffy heat of the night.

"Hey…guys…" He whispered loudly to wake them up as he pushed the zoo´s gate open. He didn´t need to, the creaking of the door jerked everyone out of their nap.

"Skippah!" Private cried, jumping up and running over to hug his leader, Marlene close behind him.

The leader stumbled back as both the otter and the rookie smothered him with their welcomes. He caught his footing and hugged them both back.

"Skipper, we´re so glad you´re back! We missed you so much!" Marlene said her bright eyes smiling back at him.

"I missed you too, Marlene…and team!" The penguin straightened up, pulling his eyes away from hers. "What did you three knuckleheads do without me?"

"We did everything you would have wanted us to do." Kowalski said humbly, but Skipper´s eyes narrowed in mock suspicion.

"Oh really, Kowalski? Then let´s have a look in your lab, shall we?"

Upon the look of slight horror, Skipper laughed.

"Relax, I´m not going to go anywhere expect to sleep. I´m so tired, I´ll sleep like a rock tonight." To that, his stomach rumbled. "Oh yeah, not before I get something to eat…um, you guys wouldn´t happen to have anything edible with you, would you?"

"Actually," Private said. "We do."

"Great!" Their leader smiled.

Rico started hacking till he choked up something gray and fish shaped.

At first Skipper took it to be a fresh fish; juicy and slight sweet flesh and a salty crusted skin and grabbed it.

However, when he looked closer, he realized he was staring at a dry, tasteless fish cracker.

For a couple of seconds, he felt a tinge of annoyance in the pit of his stomach, before he looked up and smirked.

"It´s good to be back."

76) Give him decaf in the morning

And

77) Write "I LOVE MARLENE" on his chest when he´s asleep:

"Good morning, Skippah!" Private greeted his leader, as the penguin dragged himself out of bed and to the stone table.

He had been so tired from the journey back home that he had collapsed into bed the moment they´ve come home. He had fallen asleep even before his head reached the pillow.

Five hours of sleep didn´t do him much good thought, it seemed.

"Sir, if you´re so tired, maybe we can take the day off and rest?" Private suggested, concern in his voice.

"N-n-negative." Skipper yawned. "We have to…continue with our duty." He took a moment to stretch, before going on. "Do you think Dr. Blowhole is going to wait until I´m done with my beauty nap before he attacks?…No, so we will train today…"

"Yes sir. Do you want some coffee?"

"That would be great, Private." The lead penguin put his head on the table and closed his eyes. When Private put the coffee cup next to him, it took him a while to gather enough energy to lift his head and grab the cup.

He gulped it up and waited for the caffeine to take effect. For a moment, the warm liquid took effect, giving him enough energy to stand up.

"Okay, let´s go."

They scrambled up the ladder, Rico first and Skipper last.

"So what are we doing today, Skippah?" Private asked. No response. "Skippah?"

"Ughhh…" They all turned back to the fishbowl to see their leader halfway up the ladder, clutching his head.

"Sir, are you okay?" Kowalski asked, worried.

""Y-yes, I´m alright…" Which was a lie, since Skipper felt like he was going to fall off the ladder any second. The coffee didn´t do its job, it seemed. He was still exhausted. Very, very exhausted. But seeing his team looking down at him, Skipper forced himself to shake it off and took another step forward.

Thump.

"Skippa!" Rico jumped down the entrance, landing next to his collapsed leader.

"Is he alright? He´s alright, isn´t he Kowalski?" Private said.

The scientist knelt next to Skipper. "Yeah, he´s fine. Just sleeping soundly."

"I shouldn´t have given him the decaffed coffee! If he got hurt, it would be all my fault."

"Pull yourself together, Private. Now, let´s do the second part before someone comes in." Kowalski took out a permanent marker and started scribbling on Skipper´ s chest.

(-)

"Skipper? Skipper! Guys, do you know where Skipper is?" Marlene called to the other penguins, who were busy sunning themselves in front of Roy´s fence.

"He´s in the headquarters!" Private replied cheerfully, only to earn a slap from both Kowalski and Rico.

"Private! You can´t just go around telling Skipper´s locations to other people. For all we know, the ´Marlene´ we´re talking to," Kowalski made quotation marks, "could be her evil twin Arlene and she´s working for Dr. Blowhole!"

"Haha, very funny guys- OW!"

"Arlene!" Rico sprang up and shot gumballs out of his stomach, hitting Marlene.

"Ow, ow, OW! Rico, stop it! I´m not ´Arlene!´ Stop!" Before Rico unpacked the real weapons to finish off the ´evil twin´ for good, Marlene fled into the opposite direction. When she was out of sight, Rico sat down, satisfied and continued drinking his salmon smoothie.

(-)

"Stupid penguins." Marlene muttered angrily, climbing down the ladder to the HQ. "Hey Skipper!" She shouted at the snoozing penguin in his bunk. "Wake up and tell your crew to stop shooting gum-" She stopped dead when she saw him. Then blushed. Then walked closer.

He was lying on his back next to the TV, in a little sleeping bag. He was sound asleep and in big red letters, assisted with little hearts were the words, "I LOVE MARLENE!"

Even though she knew this was all just a part of the annoying Skipper, and he´s going to be annoyed as hell when he sees this, but still, somehow it did look very cute.

78) Attach curse tags on him and say, "I am releasing you from the penguin curse and you will now become a lemur."

AND

79) Buy him a Dr. Blowhole mug:

"Skipper, I have something to tell you."

caught up with the penguin, who was taking an evening patrol around the zoo with binoculars in one flipper.

Skipper turned around and glared at her. "Don´t talk to me, you traitor."

It´s not just her name that made Skipper so angry, it´s that (we´ll just say DBL) chooses the evil bottlenose over them.

"This is important, peng-u-in." She started rummaging around in a little plastic bag, before pulling out a stack of cards.

"What´s that?"

"Here, I have to put it on you for it to work."

"Get those away from me!" Skipper jumped back as DBL tried to stick a tag on his shoulder. "What are those?"

"Curse tags."

"What?" He jumped back again as she stepped forward.

"Stop running! I´m only- this is for your own good." DBL grabbed his flipper and pulled him toward her, whilst with the other hand sticking notes all over him.

"Let me go!" Skipper yanked back and started ripping the tags of him. DBL let him go and raised her arms in a theatrical way.

"I am now releasing you from the penguin curse you´ve been suffering under twenty-four years. By attaching these curse tags to you, I have freed you from your burden. You will transform into the creature you were born to be, the animal that lives deep inside you, waiting for this moment to come out."

Listening to this ridiculous speech, the penguin had paused with throwing the notes on the ground. But now he just rolled his eyes and continued tearing the cards off his feathers.

DBL dramatically took his flippers into her own hands, forcing him to stop. "Let the world arise and see this new creation that had once been an unfortunate penguin!"

"What do you mean, ´unfortunate penguin´?!"

"Let the world celebrate: Skipper the Ringtailed Lemur!"

"…"

"Come, let´s forget our differences for tonight and celebrate with fruits, bugs and champagne!" She pressed a large cup into his flipper.

Skipper noticed the picture on it. An evil smirking dolphin with a robotic eye and the pictures of drowning humans, enslaved penguins and an earth full of water behind him.

"What is that?" He said, throwing the cup on the ground.

"Don´t you like it?" DBL said, taking out a bottle of champagne. "I let the lobsters import this straight from Hong Kong! It wasn´t exactly cheap either."

"Ughh, you´re so annoying!" Skipper said. "I´m going back to the HQ." He marched off, but tripped over the mug. Growling, he picked it up and shoved it into DBL´s chest.

"Why don´t you just burn this and use the money for something else? Like getting a job or for a ticket to Zimbabwe? Anywhere that´s far, far away from here!"

80) Run around the HQ and slam doors:

BANG! SLAM! THUMP!

The noises had been going on for five minutes. Rico was moving around the headquarters slamming doors shut and Skipper hadn´t said a word, much less looked up from his coffee or report file.

It was starting to creep Kowalski and Private out, who every now and then nervously looked up from their silent card game, expecting Skipper to burst into another rage fit.

But the leader just sat there, pretending to be deaf while he wrote down their recent mission report.

SLAM! BANG!

Apparently knowing he was being ignored, Rico crushed another door into the door frame, louder than ever.

CRASH! CCRRAACCKK!

The door to the storage room shattered into jagged pieces.

Skipper looked up for a moment. Kowalski and Private held their breath. The officer, however, only gave a quick glimpse at the clock and wrote down the date plus time of the report.

Afterwards he stood up and walked into the direction of the slamming doors.

"Do you think we should do something?" Private said.

"No…unless we hear Skipper strangling Rico, I think we should stay here for now."

(-)

Meanwhile, Rico was getting bored. This had been fun at first, but nothing was happening. He´ll just slam one more shut, then go get something to eat and maybe explode some dynamites in the park.

He yanked open another door. Rico´s eyes widened and he had barely the time to react as Skipper gave the steel door a firm shove, slamming it shut in his face. Literally.

The other two penguins looked up when their leader entered the room, a satisfied smile on his face.

"Where´s Rico?" Private asked.

"Oh don´t worry, he´s a tough penguin." Skipper responded, going back to his work as Kowalski rushed out of the room in the direction Skipper had come from, Private right behind him.

81) Wearing a black robe and holding a fake wand, jump out in front of him and shout, "Avada Kedavra!" When he stares at you, say, "Oh drat! My wand´s defective," and walk away:

"Fifty two, fifty three, fifty four, fifty five,…"

Skipper placed each polished thimble into the collector´s cabinet. They belonged to his most prized possessions, those thimbles. He had started collecting them ever since he was a small chick all the way to his years of service in the army and he had fond memories of them all. As he placed a pretty painted thimble that he bought from a small little shop in Denmark back to its place, he failed to notice someone creeping up behind him.

The black hooded figure came closer and closer until-

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Skipper jumped, losing grip on his Danish thimble and stumbled forwards into his thimble collection. Thank goodness they were made out of metal or good, strong china, or else they, and the person who scared him, would´ve been a goner.

Speaking of the person who scared him, the penguin got up and faced the offender.

AT was standing in front of him, an olive-brown wand in her hand and a fake snake tattoo on her arm. She feigned confusion. "Why aren´t you dead?"

"What the fish, AT! What on earth are you doing? My thimbles collection! I- I just cleaned, polished and organized them and you come and scare me like that, and now look what you made me do! BTW; Harry Potter is a FICTION BOOK! DEATH EATERS ARE NOT REAL; HEXES ARE NOT REAL AND VOLDEMORT IS NOT REAL! Get a life!"

"No…I see the problem here…" AT studied her wand for a second before shaking her head. "It´s defective! Now I have to go to London and get another one!" She walked out of the HQ.

Skipper shook his head and turned to his prized collection lying on the floor.

AT quickly poked her head back in. "Oh and Skippy, don´t go anywhere. Once I get a new wand, I want to try the Cruciatus curse on you!"

The penguin turned and threw thimble at her.

A\N: Review please! And if you have anything to criticize, please do! I want to get better in writing!