A\N: Hey everyone! 8) You know how this story is called, "100 and more ways to annoy Skipper"? Well, for the more-ways-to- annoy-Skippy chapter you can write your own ways to annoy him using ideas from the PenguinsHQ or your own ideas. I´ll include the drabbles in the last chapter. OCs are allowed and any genre you wish.
Rules:
Please try to keep it rated T.
Make sure the focus is still on Skipper and not on an OC or another character.
You can submit me the drabble in the review section or in a PM.
-8-
82) Use handcuffs to tight him on Julian
AND
83) And ´accidently´ lose the key:
"Okay, people." Skipper addressed the crowd of zoo animals. They were all sitting in the souvenir shop in a meeting the penguin had called. "As you all know, I had been away for a couple of days-"
"Yeah and I had been enjoying every moment of those days, slap-happy penguin."
"And when I returned, I got reports from my team that you were doing anything and everything you wanted to. The zoo has rules for a reason, people! Bada and Bing! You can´t just go smashing car windows in! You´re ruining our good reputation! Roger, I get it that you have this dream of playing in Broadway. But please don´t practice when visitors are around! And Ringtail!" If Skipper had been speaking in a raised voice before, now he was yelling. "One, you do not steal from us, if it´s food or dynamite! Two, no partying in our HQ we have highly explosive stuff down there and third, NO READING THE TOP SECRET FILES!"
"Oh chill out penguin!" Julian jumped down from the barrel he was sitting on. "One, we did not steal, we ´borrowed´ the food. Second, the explosive stuff was the best part of the party. And third, I didn´t read the top secret files, I used them as toilet paper."
Skipper gave him a death glare.
"Besides," the Katta continued. "The other penguins were gone, so we didn´t disturb anyone."
"Sorry Skippah," Private said. "There had been a severe case of mean vandalism in Max the Mooncat´s alley and we had to protect him."
"You see Ringtail? There are some animals out there that actually care about others and not just about themselves!"
"That might be so, but I am not being one of them."
"And that´s why no one likes you, Ringtail!"
The Katta gasped dramatically and everyone around the bickering two took several steps back.
"How daring of you to spread such lies! Everyone loves the king! Even you, Skipper, and if secretly!"
"Love you?" Skipper gagged. "I downright despise you! Why don´t you go back to that dastardly island of yours, where people actually enjoyed your company!"
The fight continued onward.
"Oh dear. Do you think we should stop them, Kowalski?" Private asked, eyes following the fight like fan watching an intense tennis game.
"No, young Private. It would be best not to get involved in this argument." They all ducked as a bomb flew over their heads.
BOOM!
"My car!"
"This has to stop right now!" Marlene went over to Rico. "Give me a pair of handcuffs and a key."
He hacked the requested items up. "´Ere."
"Thanks."
"And I notion that you Ringtail, are a selfish, spoiled idiot, who causes the zoo nothing but trouble!"
Julian opened his mouth to respond but Marlene was faster. "GUYS!" She shouted, causing the two to freeze.
"Can´t you act like mature adults and stop this childish bickering for once? It´s getting annoying and only ruining everyone´s evening." The otter finished by give them both glares and they hung their heads.
"You´re right, Marlene. We´re really being immature." Skipper said.
"Exactly. Now, I´m going to do what my father always did when my older brothers would fight. Skipper and Julian, you two are going to spend the whole day tomorrow together to sort out your differences. And if you´re still fighting, you´ll have to spend the day after with each other too."
"Good ide-" Skipper started but stopped when he heard a soft click. He looked down and his eyes widened. His left foot was cuffed to Julian´s.
"There, that should do it." Marlene said. She stood up and threw the key over her shoulder.
"NO!" Skipper yelled, diving after the key just as Julian turned to Marlene. "Er, what is being the meaning of th-AH!" Julian fell on his face as Skipper jumped after the key into a barrel filled with plushies.
"Where is it?! Where did it go?" He dove into the sea of stuffed animals, dragging Julian in with him.
"I don´t think this is going to work," said Marlene, watching the barrel rattle and almost tip over from Skipper´s desperate searching.
"Well, maybe it is going to work! Maybe they´ll find the key together and become friends after that!" Private said.
"That´s not very likely." Kowalski said, ducking a random thrown plushie coming at him.
"Ah! I got it!" Skipper yelled in triumph, holding up the silver object.
"Really? Where?!" Julian shot out from the barrel, knocking into the lead penguin in the progress. Caught off guard, Skipper fell backward and lost his hold on the key which finished its journey somewhere elsewhere.
"Ringtail, you idiot!"
As Julian and Skipper continued fighting and knocking over barrels, Kowalski turned to Private. "I told you so."
84) Paint Lunacorns all over HQ's walls:
Long story short: Julian and Skipper never found the key. When Julian knocked it out of Skipper´s flippers, it fell out of a slightly open window and into a garbage bin that got taken away by Alice a few minutes later (fortunately, she had her headphones on and was too busy singing to the music to notice the animals out of their habitats)
So the two were stuck. It was the most terrible thing Skipper had ever experienced. It was even worse than any vet visit he´d ever encountered.
The two had to sleep together, eat together and Julian kept complaining about the fish coffee and the fish in general, even spend their day together. When Skipper tried to train, Julian wanted to dance. And when Skipper wanted to rest, Julian wanted his super-comfy-pamper-floaty-throne time.
At the end of the day, Skipper was truly exhausted. Julian, on the other hand.
"I was thinking, slap-happy penguin. You have been suffering a lot today from being glued with me, even though I have no idea why."
"Oh really? What about when you bounced for three hours straight?"
"Come on, that was so fun. Admit it."
"Fun?!" Skipper stopped dragging Julian over to his HQ. "What part of flailing around on searing hot plastic while your neighbor keeps crashing into you, forcing your body into odd angles and almost breaking your bones after free falling through the air is fun?!"
Julian ignored the complaint, walking in a contradictory rhythm of Skipper´s, making the penguin stumble occasionally. "Anyway, I was thinking we could have an all nighters, just the two of us."
"No dice."
"But it´ll be fun! We´ll congaga and drink. I´ll even make one of those revolting, sickening fish smoothies you are liking so much."
(A\N: Warning! It´s gets pervy now)
"A sweet offer, but no. We´re going to bed."
Julian´s eyebrows immediately shot up. "Going to bed, you say?" He turned his head down to study the stout penguin next to him. "Hmm, I never had a penguin lover, but it might not be so bad." He crossed his arms. "But first, you have to tell me what kinds of things you like. I´m into freaky stuff, but I am thinking a military bird like you would like a rough-"
"RINGTAIL!" Skipper yelled, stopping immediately. The other was caught off guard and tripped. "How could you-…how can you even think…ugh! That´s not what I meant! What I didmean was…sleep! Going to bed as in sleeping not…the other thing." He was blushing madly now.
"Ohhh…" The lemur got back on his feet. "Well, you have to be more clearer about that!"
Skipper shook his head. A minute later they were standing in front of the entrance of the HQ.
"Well, why are we waiting?" Julian demanded.
"Do you smell that?" Skipper sniffed the air a few times, his brows furrowed. "It smells funny around here."
"I t always does."
Ignoring Julian, Skipper kicked the entrance open and jumped down. The Katta face planted on the concrete, but the penguin couldn´t care less given the fact that his entire military penguin HQ was painted by cute ponies and yellow butterflies.
And right in the middle of the demented art show sat his team, Marlene, Joey and DrBlowholeluv.
"Hi Skippah!" Private waved at the leader, a silly smile plastered on his face.
"What…the hell is going on in here?!"
"I wanted to re-decorate the HQ since the gray walls were getting a little boring. So I decided to paint them with Lunacorns. And everyone else agreed to help."
"…"
"I must say, mate." Joey said, studying his art work, a pouched Lunacorn standing on top of Aries (Ares?)rock hugging a koala. "These ponies are rather cute."
"I know right?" Private beamed at him.
"Look at mine, Private!" Marlene showed him her Spanish-guitar playing Spanish Lunacorn holding a rose between its teeth.
"Well, I believe I have managed to construct something all of you haven´t, something sweet and smart looking." Kowalski stood next to his creation, a lunacorn with a disturbingly large brain, like he had once.
"Look ´ere!"
"Rico, that´s a My Little Pony, not a Lunacorn. There´s a difference, you know."
"Imma brony. I draw ponies." The maniac insisted.
Private sighed, and turned to his leader and Ringtail. "Would you two like to join us?"
"Ehm, I am thinking that would be a no on Skipper´s part." Julian said, gesturing over at said leader was banging his head against the wall.
"Why me? Sweet Mother McArthur, what have I done to deserve this?!"
85) When he´s done giving an order or saying something serious, laugh and say, "It´s funny because I don´t get it!"
It didn´t take long for Skipper to find out that Marlene had an extra key. Two days later when Julian insisted on sleeping on his bouncy instead of concrete, the lead penguin overheard Marlene and Kowalski talking about it.
"You know that they lost the key to the handcuffs, right?"
"Oh chill out, Kowalski. I have a spare key in my habitat. I keep it under my pillow."
"What I don´t understand is why you keep them locked up together. Skipper´s getting pretty desperate."
"I know, I know. But it´s still funny to watch. And who knows, maybe they´ll be friends after the whole experience."
"Perhaps."
Skipper sat up. An extra key underneath her pillow? He looked at his sleeping partner. Hmm, there´s no way he could sneak into Marlene´s habitat without being seen or heard for that matter. Julian was the lousiest animal in the zoo when it came to stealth.
Just then, Mort happened to stroll by. Perfect.
"Hey, Sad Eyes!" Skipper said quietly. For all he knew Marlene and Kowalski could still be just outside the lemur´s wall.
"Hi table top penguin!" Mort said in his usual cheerful voice.
"Table top?"
"Yeah, King Julian gave you that nickname. He also said he wanted to eat cookies and cake on your head."
"…okay…Anyway, I need you to get something from Marlene´s cave. Under her pillow there is a tiny key. It's a little silver key underneath her pillow, remember that Mort. Anyway, I need you to get that key and bring it back to me so I can free myself from this constant annoyance with incredible dance moves. But you have to be quiet, okay? Real quiet, like a little mouse. And don´t let Marlene find you! Do you comprehend your mission, soldier?"
Mort stared at him for a couple of seconds before bursting out in high pitched giggles.
Skipper watched him in disbelief as the mouse lemur rolled around on the ground, laughing.
"Hahaha! It´s so funny because I don´t get it! Hahahaha!" Mort giggled.
The penguin growled and jumped off the bouncy, dragging Julian to the ground in the process.
"How daring of you to awaken your king like that!"
"Shut up, Ringtail. We´re going to get that damn key from Marlene and if I have to force it from her limp paws, I WILL!"
-8-
"Alright Kowalski…I´ll catch you later…"
"Sure, Marlene. I would suggest taking this baseball bat with you, just in case."
"Thanks. It was nice knowing you."
86) Put a "kick me" sign on his back:
"YES! FINALLY! At last I´m free from that blasted Ringtail!" Skipper came out of Marlene´s cave, whooping and grinning like an idiot. He slid over to her pool, dove inside and then broke out of the surface, similar to a dolphin´s jump, double flipped in the air and landed on the other side of the fence, something he hadn´t been able to do for a long time.
Julian left the otter´s cave, looking not so excited. "Ew, I have feathers in my fur and smell like stinking fish. MAURICE! Load up the royal bath tub! I need to smell like a king again!"
Skipper felt so happy, he had the need to slid over the entire zoo to a) let everyone know he was free of his furry burden and b) treat his neglected chest feathers to some pavement sliding again.
Little did he know that after the otter had freed him and patted him on the back, she had left him with a little ´gift´, a piece of paper with the words "KICK ME" written on it. Including a picture of a foot kicking a penguin, in case anyone couldn´t read the words.
He passed habitat after habitat, waving to some animals and feeling like the happiest penguin on earth, when he reached Joey´s place. The big guy wasn´t in his home, instead wandered around on the outside, looking for the ball he had kicked over.
"Hi Joey." Skipper came to a halt and got to his feet. Joey ignored him. "Beautiful day, isn´t it?"
"I guess." The kangaroo scowled as he picked up his now muddy beach ball.
The penguin smiled cheerfully and turned to go. That´s when Joey´s day got a lot brighter and Skipper´s day a lot darker. One moment his feet was firmly connecting with the pavement beneath him, the next he was flying through the air, a dull throb in his back and a undeniable fear of crash-landing in the middle of a Manhattan street road.
Fortunately, he didn´t land in the middle of busy cars. Unfortunately, he landed right on Kowalski´s newly completed invention, which exploded in pretty sparks and a big ka-BOOM!
87) Just hop around him and poke him at the same time:
Poke poke poke.
"Private, stop it."
Poke poke.
"Private, I mean it. Stop!"
"Poke poke poke poke.
"Soldier!"
Poke.
"PRIVATE!"
Poke poke pok-
Slap!
88) Slap him in the face with a fish:
"Hey, DrBlowholeluv, do you know where Kowalski is?" Skipper asked, walking over to where the girl was listening to Taylor Swift with her headphones. She didn´t respond.
The penguin stepped closer. "DBL! I need to know where Kowalski is!" Realizing she isn´t getting the importance of this question, Skipper persisted, raising his voice a little. "There´s some dude that called and complained that he reproduced a copyrighted invention. He wants to sue us and I can´t tell him off cuz I don´t know if it´s true or not!"
Still, he got no response. In matter of fact, he thought he heard her turn the volume up louder on her Ipod. "DBL!" He tapped her shoulder.
WHAP! The next moment he found himself laying on his back, his cheek burning and the salty aroma of fish lingering in the air.
"Oh, it´s you." DBL was standing over him, the offending object dangling in one hand. "Don´t sneak up on me like that, I thought you were some creeper trying to touch me!"
Skipper stood up, glaring at her.
"Now, what did you want?"
"Forget it. I´m going to ask someone else." He waddled away angrily.
89) Pour glue all over the HQ and tell him there´s an intruder. Watch him get stuck:
"Almost done…" Kowalski muttered, squirting another tube of glue empty. The entire section right underneath the fishbowl entrance was covered in Super Susi´s Super Glue. The penguin was standing on the ladder, one flipper clutching it while the other emptied the tube, forming a gooey puddle on the concrete ground. After the last drop fell with a quiet plop, Kowalski put the empty tube in a garbage bag with the other and climbed up.
Now to find Skipper… he thought. It didn´t take long. Said penguin sat in Marlene´s habitat, engulfed in a conversation with the otter.
"Skipper! Sir!" Kowalski called, putting on a mask of horror and sliding over to his leader. Skipper immediately stopped talking and stood up.
"What´s wrong, Kowalski?"
"Hans…he´s…he got…" The intellectual panted heavily, finding support on Skipper´s shoulder.
"What about the Dane? Speak up soldier!"
"He got into our HQ. He found your top secret files and…"
"Holy Snozzles!" Skipper let go of his lieutenant and slid towards the penguin´s headquarters in neck breaking speed. "STAY AWAY FROM THOSE FILES, YOU EVIL PUFFIN!" He shouted, before kicking the fishbowl aside and jumping in.
Marlene winced as the fulfilling splat came from inside the concrete bunker.
"…KOWALSKI!"
The scientist walked over. "Yes?" He looked down and met with the piercing blue eyes glaring back at him.
"Give me an explanation. Now!"
"Truth and Dare."
"What?"
"A group of us was playing and I got dared to play this prank on you."
"And which dim-witted idiot dared you to pull childish and completely ridiculous prank?"
"AT."
Skipper shook his head. "Pull me up."
The other immediately climbed down to tug his leader out of the thick white pudding. Skipper washed the glue off in the pool, then stormed off to find AT.
"Why did you blame it on her?" Marlene asked. She stood next to Kowalski, watching the commanding officer slide away.
"Hey, the "100 ways to annoy Skipper" is a fun idea but I´m not getting killed for it."
"Well, we only have 10 more ways to go." The girl sighed. "I´m getting this terrible feeling that Skipper´s going to get a stress heart attack from all this ´annoying´."
"So am I." Kowalski agreed.
They stood there a couple of moments before Marlene went over to the fishbowl and climbed down the ladder. "Come on, let´s clean this mess up."
A\N: Only ten more ways to go. Only two chapters left. xP Anyway, thanks for reading and please review! X)