A\N: Final chapter! Credits and Thank yous are at the end. :)
One more thing. If you have some time and an e-mail address, please check my profile for a petition for saving PoM. If we get enough signatures, I believe we can show DW that there are many many people who love PoM and want to continue watching it. xP
101) Complain about his delicious Monk Fish Surprise recipe
AND
102) Huggle his feet and shout, "DON´T GO! DON´T GOOOO!"
"Here you go, boys. Lunch is served!" Skipper placed a big steaming bowl on the table.
The content didn´t really looking appealing. It had a slight greenish-blue color and little chunks of fish and onions were swimming around.
The three penguins looked at each other in mild disgust, but Skipper didn´t seem to notice. He poured himself a bowl of his stew and started eating. Slowly, hesitantly, the others did the same.
Kowalski made a face and Private started choking. Even Rico, who literally could eat anything, dropped his spoon and refused to pick it back up. Skipper looked up.
"Something wrong, boys?" He asked.
"Um, no Skippah…it´s just-" Private started but Kowalski interrupted him.
"Well, sir. After careful observation, I concluded that this stew is made out of fifty percent yuck, forty percent inedible and ten percent fish. In other words, it´s plain disgusting and we do not wish to eat it."
"Bleh." Rico said.
"…" The leader sighed. "What did I do wrong at the stew? I made sure not to overdose in any ingredients-"
"Maybe the recipe itself is the problem, Skippah."
"Bleh." Rico said again.
"Alright, then boys, it looks like we´re eating plain old fish instead." Skipper stood up, emphasizing ´plain old fish´ to let them know what he thought of the idea. But as soon as he took a step towards the ladder, Kowalski threw himself down at Skipper´s feet and clutched them.
"PLEASE DON´T GO SKIPPER!" He cried, sobbing and hugging the webbed appendages.
"Soldier-"
"I´M SO SO SORRY! I DIDN´T MEAN WHAT I SAID! PLEASE DON´T GO! PLEASE DON´T GOOOOO!"
"Kowalski! Let my feet go this instance!"
"I´M SO SORRY!"
"I´m not going anywhere as long as you're holding my feet, Kowalski!" Too late Skipper realized his sarcasm made everything worse.
The analyst squeezed tighter and knocked his leader off his feet in the process.
His wailing continued until Skipper put his current position to good use and kicked out.
103) Throw glitter and confetti on him
AND
104) Tell him you recruited Julian in Skipper´s crew:
"Do you have any fives?" Skipper asked.
Rico looked down at his cards. "Nope! Go fish!"
The other gave him a suspicious glare and added another card to his collection.
Private stood behind the maniac, glancing at his cards. He frowned and held up a flipper. Skipper was about to ask him how many pretend fingers he was holding up when suddenly there was a loud BANG! The leader jumped to his feet.
"Holy fish, men! We´re being attacked! Rico! Weapo-…Ringtail!…What are you wearing?"
"Isn´t it so cool?" The Katta posed in the doorway, wearing a tux, a self made weapons belt and Indian war marks. "I am a shold-ier."
"First, it´s SOLDIER!" Skipper said, articulating the word clearly. "And secondly, what are you doing with that silly dress up in our HQ?"
"I am a penguin sol-dyr!" Julian grabbed a grenade from his belt. "Look! I can also do the ka-booming."
"H-hold on, Ringtail…don´t play around with that!" The penguins tensed, their eyes on the weapon.
The lemur grabbed the pin and threw it over his shoulder. "Witness, silly commando Skipper sir, my awesome penguin skills!" He proudly held the grenade up.
"TAKE COVER!" Skipper yelled and the crew dove underneath the table.
The explosion came seconds later, shaking the HQ with a thunderous BOOM! And showering everyone with bright colored…
"Confetti?" Private caught a few paper dots with his flipper. Rico leaned his head back and caught a few on his tongue. Skipper crawled out and glared.
"Ringtail! Get out of our HQ right now before I show you how a real penguin deals with a problem."
"You don´t need to show me, Skipper!" Julian grabbed the gun from his weapons belt. He pointed it at Skipper and shot.
The penguin expected anything from rotten cherries to more confetti. Instead he got blasted in the face with sparkly glitter.
"I´ll be a great penguin." Julian said, satisfied. The next thing he knew he was lying on the pavement outside the Penguin´s HQ, his head throbbing painfully.
105) Qualify for the penguin team. After years of service, announce loudly that the two of you are Dr. Blowhole´s minions. And drag him away:
"Happy anniversary, happy anniversary dear Private…happy anniversary to you!" The three penguins sang as the youngest penguin smiled happily.
"Blo!" Rico said, holding the fish cake in front of his friend.
Private complied. "Thank you guys for this party!"
"Of course, young Private!" Skipper said, putting his flipper around his youngest recruit. "Today´s a very special day for we celebrate the day you joined our team."
"Congratulations!"
"Thank you, Kowalski!"
"And, it seems you´ve grown 12 inches, lost zero point zero teeth, grew that many back, lost two toenails due to brute force, sprained your left flipper once, molted once and ate the halved amount of fish that Rico ate, which in pounds would be-"
"Kowalski!" Skipper said. "Are you done with your observation? We´re going to celebrate the boy, not take him apart."
"Sorry." Said analyst packed away his measuring devices and gadgets.
"Now, Private. Do you have something you want to say? A speech maybe?" Skipper asked.
"Yes." The young penguin suddenly looked nervous and moved closer to this leader. "Do you think we should tell them now?" He whispered.
"Tell them what?"
"You know…"
"Um, no. But go ahead. Tell us." Skipper said. Private took a deep breath and straightened up. "Skippah and I have something to say. We both have been lying to you and the entire zoo for years. We´re actually working with…DR. BLOWHOLE!"
Rico gasped loudly (all acting of course).
"No! Tell me it´s not true!" Kowalski joined in the act.
"Huh?! What are you talking about, soldier?!"
"Let´s not deny it anymore Skippah! We should go, we have what we want!" Private held up a CD entitled, ´Kowalski sings to Justin Bieber and kisses a dolphin plushie´. Then he grabbed Skipper´s flippers and dragged him out.
The two penguins stood there for a moment, laughing at Skipper´s face until Kowalski stopped and realized what just happened.
"MY CD!"
106) Sing the Llama Song:
SweetPanda found Skipper sitting on a park bench, reading the newspaper. The other penguins were playing Frisbee.
"Hi Skippy!"
"Hey."
"What are you doing?" She sat beside him. The author looked almost like herself again, expect that she was still wearing the pirate´s clothes.
"Newspaper."
"And something interesting?"
"Not really. Just a few stores being robbed and two llamas being transferred into the Bronx Zoo."
"Llamas, huh? You know, that reminds me of a song. It goes like this:
Here's a llama
There's a llama
and another little llama
Fuzzy Llama
Funny Llama
Llama Llama duck
Llama llama
cheesecake llama
tablet, brick, potato, llama
llama llama mushroom llama
llama llama duck
I was once a tree house
I lived in a cake
but I never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
I was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen little child
to the safety rail
Did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's llama
tastes of llama
llama llama duck
Half a llama
Twice a llama
not a llama
farmer llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama duck
is that how its told now
is it oh so old
is it made of lemon juice
doorknob, ankle, cold
Now my song is getting thin
I've run out of luck
Time for me to retire now
and become a duck!"
Skipper gave Panda a weird look. "What the fish was that about?"
"Llamas. And ducks! It´s a cool song."
"It´s about LLAMAS! It´s not cool. Cool songs are about penguins, not mammals."
"Hey, now that you mentioned Llamas…it reminds me of a song I know. Wanna hear it?"
"No."
"Here's a llama
There's a llama
and another little llama
Fuzzy Llama
Funny Llama
Llama Llama duck
Llama llama
cheesecake llama
tablet, brick, potato, llama
llama llama mushroom llama
llama llama duck
I was once a tree house
I lived in a cake
but I never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
I was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen little child
to the safety rail
Did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's llama
tastes of llama
llama llama duck
Half a llama
Twice a llama
not a llama
farmer llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama duck
is that how its told now
is it oh so old
is it made of lemon juice
doorknob, ankle, cold
Now my song is getting thin
I've run out of luck
Time for me to retire now
and become a duck!"
The penguin held his flippers over his earholes. "Would you shut up about those Llama ducks!"
"Llama, huh? I know a song, that´s all about Llamas. It goes like thi-"
"No! You will not sing it again or else I´m going to-"
"Here's a llama
There's a llama
and another little llama
Fuzzy Llama
Funny Llama-"
Skipper tackled her to the ground and stuffed a page of crumbled newspaper in her mouth. "No…singing!" He got up and waddled away.
Panda sat up and spat the paper out of her mouth. She glared at the waterbird, until she noticed the picture on the discarded news.
"Hey, Skipper look! There are Llamas in the news!"
108) Put loli songs all around the lair and turn it to the loudest volume; then have everyone will pop out and say "HAPPY HIPSTER DAY!", wearing Japanese cosplays or Hippie outfits; after that, surround him. Private shall hold a marker, Kowalski...a maid, bunny outfit, Rico...a tux and Julien...a ring. Draw on his face, make him wear those things; finally Marlene will pop up, in a wedding dress and say, "Skipper, we are late for our Honeymoon!"
It was the weird singing that got Skipper´s attention. He had stepped out of his HQ to get the fish Alice had thrown over the fence. He had gathered their food and walked back to the fishbowl when he heard it. It didn´t sound like the radio, the style of the song was old.
Skipper kicked the fish bowl aside and jumped down the hole. "Hey, what´s with the weird singing…and the costumes?"
His team and Julian were dressed in baggy hippie shirts or clothes that looked like they came from the TV or something.
"HAPPY HIPSTER DAY!" They all shouted with grins on their faces.
"What the fish are you talking about?!"
Instead of answering, they took out several things, like a marker, a ring and pieces of costumes. And then they started walking towards him, still wearing those grins.
Now he was nervous. Skipper dropped his fish and went into a defense stance. "Wh-what are you guys doing? Stay away! Is this mutiny?!"
Rico tackled his leader, but before he could fight back to his soldier, the others had him. They held him down and no amount of yelling threats or kicking and punching could stop them from their mission.
Five minutes later, they let their dazed friend go. Skipper now had a black drawn on eyelashes, a beauty mark and lips. Bunny ears rested on top of his head, a tux against his chest, high stockings and maid shoes. A silver gleaming ring was forced on his flipper.
"I gotta be admitting this, he is looking much better than before." Julian said.
"I think you look good, Skippah!" Private said, helping the older penguin up.
"And the bride should be here in a few moments…" The analyst looked at his imaginary watch.
The door slammed open a few seconds later and Marlene stood in the doorway, wearing a wedding dress and cat ears on her head, her face decorated with a black mustache and bushy eyebrows. "Come on, honey! We´re going to be late for our honeymoon!"
"What?" The leader turned to her, his flipper raised as if he couldn´t decide who to slap first.
"Ugh, the giant transportable pumpkin is not going wait forever and we only have till midnight!" She grabbed his flipper and lugged him out of the HQ.
109) Use him as model on your drawing and make him go a difficult position... aaand pretend to draw him:
"You want to what?" Sipper asked.
"Draw you!" 96DarkAngel (we´ll call her Angel) smiled. She held up a canvas and some paintbrushes. "Please Skippy? Just this once!"
"Alright…but don't call me Skippy!" The penguin sighed. "How do you want to draw me?"
"Okay, stand on the chair." Angel said. Skipper complied.
"What now?"
"Balance this table on your head."
"What?!"
"It´ll look great! Trust me!"
"Well, thankfully it´s not that big…or heavy."
"Alright, now stand on one leg, put the orange in your mouth, hold the umbrella and balance this hula hoop on your beak, put these clothes hangers on your umbrella holding flipper and these pearl bracelets on your free wing, the boom box goes on top of the table with Julian dancing on it and last but not least, wear these glittery pink sunglasses!" As Angel shouted out the list, she placed the stuff in their right position, shoving the orange in Skipper´s beak when he tried to protest. When she was done, she stepped back and admired her handiwork.
"Amazing! Now, stand there while I draw you and believe me, we´re going to make lots of money out of this!"
110) Send Ol´ Red after him (ol' red is a prison dog who's notorious for catching every criminal that escapes from his prison)
Another peaceful day at the Central Park Zoo was ruined by Skipper´s yelling. But this time no angry lemur voices joined him nor did the grunts of his heavily training soldiers. Instead it was…barking?
"Since when do we have a dog in the zoo?" Mason asked Marlene. They were neighbors, so it was easy for them to talk to each other without traveling through half the zoo.
"Since never. We don´t." The likewise confused otter responded.
Just then Skipper passed, sliding on his stomach and frantically calling for options over his shoulder. A dog was chasing him with a Danish flag clenched between his teeth.
The other penguins tried everything in their power to save their leader, but it was futile.
The chimps and Marlene watched for another half a minute before deciding their neighbors were just too strange and went on with their normal business.
"GET THAT DOG AWAY FROM ME!"
111) Repeatedly insist that various dead people are out to get you:
"SKIPPER! YOU´VE GOT TO HELP ME!" One of the zoo´s new visiting author, LadyBookworm18 (we´ll call her Bookworm) came running into the HQ. Her eyes were wide with terror.
"What´s wrong, Bookworm?" The leader asked calmly, putting another card on the table.
The other grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him. "THEY´RE AFTER ME! THEY´RE AFTER ME! I DON´T KNOW WHY, BUT THEY´RE MAD!"
"Whoa!" He slapped her hands away. "I don´t appreciate being shaken, thank you. Now, from the beginning, what happened?"
"Well," She sat down and wrapped her arms around herself frightfully, glancing at the door. "I was in the park… with Mort and Marlene. We were getting snow cones. Us girls wanted rainbow ones, but Mort wanted a yellow one. He said it was the color of his mango then Marlene corrected him and said a mango was orange. So Mort chose to take an orange snow cone inst-"
"Spare us the details. Just tell us who´s chasing you."
"W-well, I don´t…remember her name." Bookworm sobbed slightly. Private put a flipper around her shoulder. "She had blonde hair…and a dress…she was human…"
"Kowalski! Give me the names of all the blondes in New York."
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, you´re right, too much work. Do you remember anything else about your chaser?"
"She…well, she did a famous pose. You know when it´s windy and all, she was wearing a big dress and it all got blown upwards…"
"Marilyn Monroe?"
"Yes! Yes that´s her! Oh she´s terrible! But she´s nothing to that guy that tilts sideways."
"Do you mean, Michael Jackson?" Private asked.
"Yeah or that one Beatle guy who died. And Elvis Presley…hey wait why are famous actors and musicians chasing me in the first place? That´s so weird."
"That´s what you find weird?" Skipper said. "Don´t you think it´s a little odd that your chasers are dead?!"
"No…wait, they´re dead?" Bookworm gave him a confused looked. "That is strange. I could´ve sworn…never mind. YOU´VE GOT TO HIDE ME!" She grabbed hold of the penguin officer again. But this time he reacted a little less friendly. He kicked her out of his HQ.
112) Cover the HQ in mistletoe at Christmas time. Stay put and watch the chaos ensue:
"Thanks for coming with me, Marlene." Skipper said.
The two were getting more supplies from a nearby supermarket for Private. He was busy making hard Christmas candies. Rico had stole a sack of sugar and gulped it down, so the youngest sent his leader to get some more.
"No problem, Skipper. Isn´t the night so beautiful?"
"Yes it is."
The two entered the HQ.
"Got your sugar, Private!" Skipper said, holding the bag up. He didn´t even hear his soldier response when Marlene leaned over and gave him a kiss on the side of his beak.
The leader dropped the bag, a warm blush creeping up his neck. But before he could say anything, Kowalski walked over and kissed him too.
Private laughed, until Maurice hesitantly did the same to him.
Soon everyone had gotten or given a kiss to their neighbor, making the first one a little less magical.
Skipper had enough after Rico tackled Kowalski. He was about to demand what in the world everyone is doing and for Rico to get off his lieutenant when he noticed them.
Bright, pretty mistletoes, covering the ceiling.
"Who…"
"Who cares?" Marlene said. "Don´t you think this is the best way to annoy you?" She turned his head towards hers and kissed him fully on the beak.
"Yeah…"
A\N: And we´re done! Skilene for the Skilene lovers, I know there are some hiding around here. And a bit of Kico. XP Also, did anyone get the pumpkin reference in Nr 109? It was from Cinderella. xP
Thank you everyone so much for faving, following and reviewing! All rights go to DreamWorks and the PenguinsHQ fanguins for coming up with this list.
Very special thanks to:
Apple, Kellade, Cheycartoongirl8, Atomik27, Rookie70Penguin, The Golden City, POMfanz13, SweetPanda12, Demigoth C. Emo, GlassRose101997, SkipperPrivate, MissCookiiie, Bml1997, , Lovely Little Strawberry, Crazy Flyer 3000, gamergirl247, Somebody Once Told Me, Doctor-Hamato, ShinyShinza, appleduck, Crazywriter24, Chi-kun-23, Donakiko, Alexandra Hunter, 96DarkAngel, thekillerrox123, Guest (all of them), starfire207, Yang and Yin-Chan, Rynn Wolfe, wait what, Master-Of-Feelings, RainShadow999, Ivy000, madagascarmaster, kndpomsprosie, Christ´s Disciple, D, DawnShadowQueen, A Fallen Soldier´s Last Prayer, Alaska Forever, 8annie81, CABRALFAN27, LM1991, adaline1, skippercrush, lillymist, Totes- RANDERP, Umbra, LadyBookworm18 and Dr. Richoften.
Also thanks to all the OCs and authors that made the story more interesting and fun to write. ^^