Chapter 5: Hope

He knew that it was probably wrong of him, but he had to get away. He had to get away from Terry and her concerned face, but most of all he had to get as far away from the woman in the street. Why was he so brave to run out there in the street to save her? He didn't know her, but the thing was he did. He did know her, and well he wasn't very nice to her.

Flashback

You had no right! You had no fucking right, he was mine!" he shouted in her face shaking her.

"He was going to kill her; I knew that you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself."

"You don't know what I would have been able to live with. I've been searching for this bastard for ten years. Ten years! The only thing that mattered was killing him, I wanted to feel his blood on my hands. I wanted to watch the life drain from his eyes like he watched it disappear from my daughters. No matter what, he was mine."

"What about me!" a voice from the corner asked.

When he turned and saw her, he felt something deep in his gut. Her lip was busted, and she was holding her arm at a weird angle. She had been crying, but that wasn't all that he saw, he saw something else in her eyes. He saw love.

"You think that I would've wanted to watch you kill him. That I would've wanted to watch them cuff you, and drag you off to a prison where I could never see you again? What was I supposed to do without you, after ten years! You are a selfish man, you come in here and harass Grace for ridding the earth of scum like him, yet you fail to think about what I would do if I lost you. I'm beginning to think I wasted my life loving you."

Then he watched as she straightened herself up and walked out of there, a lot stronger than she actually was.

End flashback

He was trying but failing at calming himself down in the mirror. He had been having tons of flashes of memory, but never once did he see himself. Who was he? Was he a good person? He couldn't possibly have been a good person, with all the blood on his hands.

He looked in the mirror and the person he saw he didn't recognize. He had a lot of hair in the top, it was massive uncontrollable curls, and he had two scars going down his nose. They told him that he had a bad conversation with a knife. Of course this wasn't his original face, he didn't have his eye, but the other one still looked pretty good. Sort of a blue-green kind of smoky gray thing going on, but finally the thing that was hiding everything was the beard. It had to go, he took out the razor that he had for months and decided to put it to work.

*AU*

Lisbon, Cho, and Alexandra all stood stunned as the DVD played. They were shocked that the person on the screen was in fact Patrick Jane. He was wearing the suit that Teresa told them he was wearing that night. His lip was busted, and his nose had been cut pretty bad, but besides the blood he looked healthy.

On the Tape

"I guess I should explain. Teresa I'm sorry, I know that you thought that things were about to be different between us. I've tried and tried, but it's just not going to work, you're not her.

"if you're seeing this tape then I'm gone. I'm gone and it's best that you don't look for me. It's time that I pay for what I did. You were there and you saw it, I killed him. I killed Red John and I can't live with myself any longer. So this is my goodbye. I'm dead okay, so don't look for me. I'm paying for my crime.

Fade to black…

They all stood there in silence as the screen turned back into that familiar snowy static.

"Well that was the biggest crock of shit I've ever seen. Get this down to the station; I want the computer techs all over it. If there's any clue in it I want it found."

"Clue, boss that was a suicide note." Cho stated.

"A suicide note really, a year later. Someone is playing with me and I'm game. I'm going to find him. This was my first clue, Patrick left me a clue."

They both watched as she walked from the room, neither one of them believed it, but neither one of them had the heart to steal away her hope.

*AU*

Terry had been waiting outside of Adam's hospital room the whole time. She really didn't like the way that he looked after the accident. She was being stupid, she knew that he wasn't well and maybe just maybe she should have told someone what had happened out there in the street. When they came to give the meds later she would tell someone.

She was about to stand up and knock on the door but it opened.

She was more than stunned to see Adam standing before her. He had gotten rid of some of the beard, not all of it he still had a little goatee happening. He was gorgeous, and when she looked up at him his one remaining eye sparkled at her when he smiled.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"Yea I think I am, I was wondering would you come back down with me to where the accident happened."

"Sure, you want to catch that museum after all?"

"No I wanna find that woman that I saved in the street."

"Are you sure? She's probably long gone by now."

"Peanuts, at first I couldn't remember much about her. It was just all mean things that I had said to her, but then it changed. I remember her fixing me tea, and peanuts." He smiled.

"Adam, you don't look so good, and you're not making sense maybe you do need that nap."

'Van Pelt. That's her name, like the Peanut comics. She said that her mom was tempted to name her Lucky but her dad talked her out of it, but her brother Linus, he wasn't so lucky. That's about all I remember though." He added.

"You don't want to go and spook her; I mean you said yourself that you said a lot of mean things to her, you don't want to go down there and scare her. She's pregnant. It's time to be considerate. You remember her name, you can find her tomorrow right?"

"Yea I suppose but…."

"Oh my god feel right here it's kicking." She beamed. She took his hand and placed it on her belly just in time to feel it kick.

"Oh wow!" he shouted enthusiastically.

"I'm feeling kind of tired, you think you could go and get me some milk?" she smiled.

"Yea, I'll go get it right now.

Terry Ambrose slid herself to the top of his bed to get more comfortable. She smiled as he left her there to get her milk. Just as soon as she was sure that he was gone, she took a cellphone from her pocket.

She waited patiently for the person on the other end to pick up and once they did she said "You better get someone down here fast, he's remembering.

A/N: I really don't know how i feel about this chapter. What are your thoughts? It will probably be two more days before an update. i want to put out Sarah and end The Lies...