Five Kisses
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First:
It's always the same. This annoyingly loud and stupid brat actually has the courage to talk back to him. It has happened multiple times in the past and now it happens again. Again.
Sometimes he wonders if Eren purposefully ignores the difference in rank between them (and with it the proper way of addressing his superiors) or if he simply forgets. He tends to think it's the second one. Or maybe Levi is not as harsh to Eren as he used to be and that's why Eren thinks that it's okay to share his fucking opinion (which, of course, always differs from Levi's) with the whole world, specifically Levi. But it's not.
Maybe, Levi wonders sometimes, it's because Eren wants to prove that he's one of the few people who can coax another reaction from Levi than his usual indifference (hell knows why he would want that – for Levi indifference works just fine) and knows from experience how unbelievably well this method works.
Maybe, a small voice in the back of his head informs him, he also wants to provoke Levi into slamming him into the wall and finally resolve all this fucking tension between them.
Hold on. He did not just think that.
"Brat", Levi growls and slams his palms on the table in front of him before standing up, partially being annoyed with himself for thinking such thoughts and with Eren for making him think such things in the first place. "How many times do I have to fucking tell you that I don't care about what you think."
Eren clenches his fists and looks up to him, eyes blazing with anger and defiance and something else Levi can't quite place.
"What's so wrong with stating that I'm not convinced about this mission? It's my opinion and I have a right to say it", he replies hotly and crosses his arms. Levi doesn't know whether he's seen Eren so pissed off before. Well, except when he's killing titans or dealing with the Military Police.
Levi rolls his eyes and walks slowly around the table to lean against it, directly across from Eren. Once he sits he leans slightly forward.
"Because not everything in this world is about you, contrary to your beliefs", he murmurs in a low but authoritative voice. "Not everything is about whether you are a titan shifter or not, not everything is about how you would go forward in this war, and certainly no plan needs your approval before its execution."
Eren's eyes narrow.
"My participation in this mission is crucial to its success", he says quietly, his shoulders quivering in anger. "I think I should definitely have a say about the plan and its execution."
"Do not", Levi answers in the same quiet voice, "make everything about you."
"Do not make everything not about me when you know that I am all there is."
Levi leans forward some more.
"You should know when to hold your breath and shut the fuck up."
Eren chuckles, and Levi wonders where the hell that came from.
"I'm irreplaceable for you. I know it. And you know it as well. In fact everybody knows it. You just don't want to accept it." He leans a bit forward, too, and fixes Levi with an angry yet terribly knowing stare.
Levi finds it's very intimate.
"Stop looking at me like that", he answers irritated because deep down he knows that Eren's words hold the truth, but he just doesn't want to admit it. He is not dependent on this brat.
"How am I looking at you?" Eren wonders aloud and holds Levi's eyes.
Levi's irritation rises.
"Just stop."
Eren still keeps staring, taunting him with his eyes.
"Make me."
And that's it. That fucking is it.
Levi growls, seizes Eren's shirt, hoists him up and drags him along and before he knows it he has slammed him into the wall with so much force that Eren gasps out of surprise or pain or maybe both. Eren sucks in some air and looks like he's trying to start processing what the hell is happening when Levi grabs his chin and pulls him down, smashing his lips against his own, kissing him vigorously and biting the boy's lips.
This finally seems to shake Eren out of his processing (who the hell needs this long to process things, Levi wonders) and he takes hold of the front of Levi's shirt, pulling him closer while he's gradually starting to move his lips against Levi's. At first it's slow and testing, but then it's more of an all-out warfare, sloppy and messy, and despite the mess Eren's making Levi can't help but think that it's fucking hot.
He buries a hand in Eren's hair and yanks his head back, effectively breaking the kiss and successfully eliciting a barely audible moan from the boy which turns into a sharp intake of breath once Levi shoves his other hand down Eren's tight pants, pressing a leg between the boy's legs to keep them open.
"Open your eyes", he murmurs into Eren's ear and is immensely pleased when Eren's hands try to grab Levi's shirt harder, searching for something to hold on and he finally opens his eyes to look at him with a needy gaze.
Levi smirks and trails bites along Eren's neck while he's starting to move his hand up and down in Eren's pants. He's even more pleased when Eren starts shuddering, this time not from anger but from something completely else while that little shit is stubbornly holding Levi's eyes, and he finds himself thinking that Eren can look at him like that for as long as he wants, because Levi surely doesn't mind.
Public
When they continue their Levi is not sure what to call it, because he's not sure what it actually is, he's not even sure if he wants to know what it is, Eren gets bolder and bolder.
While Levi makes sure that they only do it in a secluded and locked environment, which almost every time happens to be Levi's room, although he's not sure when exactly he has given the brat an explicit permission to enter and mess up his room (because that's what he's doing every single fucking time) – he muses that it must have been in the heat of the moment and he probably has been too occupied with other much more pleasant things, which involve Eren pressing impatiently against his back – , Eren surely doesn't care about the location.
Although Levi has told him multiple times that he doesn't do public, he has lost count how many times Eren has pulled him into a dark corner, shoved into a deserted alley or pressed him against a wall in open space during the night when it was too dark to be seen anyway (or so Eren claims).
This time it's no different.
Levi only has enough time to take a quick look around before Eren drags him into an alley near the barns after they cleaned up their horses, clothes sweaty and smelly, kiss heated and intense. Levi yanks away, Eren's reaction being a disapproving hum, and puts his hand on Eren's chest to hold him at a distance while Eren's hands still rest at Levi's belt which he just has started to open (when did that happen?). Levi is slightly gasping because he doesn't have enough air in his lungs as a consequence of the sudden kiss, but he nonetheless fixes Eren with an annoyed glare.
"What part of no public displays don't you understand?" he growls frustratedly while Eren has the nerve to slowly open Levi's belt some more. Levi notices that he already has opened the belt buckle. Shitty sneaky bastard.
"The part which states why you won't do public", Eren murmurs as an answer. He's abandoned Levi's belt because now it's open anyway and traces the muscles on Levi's stomach above his shirt. Levi shivers because he knows that every fucking time it starts like this, Eren taunting him until Levi finally gives in. He's got the impression that every time it takes less time for Eren to persuade him.
"I told you", Levi answers in a rough voice, "that somebody could see us."
He removes Eren's hand from his stomach but finds it not really easier to breathe. Eren is too close and too tantalizing.
"So what?"
Eren starts fumbling again, and this time Levi feels him slowly opening the button and zipper of his trousers.
"So I don't want anybody to see us. Imagine what everyone would say about us", Levi hisses and asks himself why it's so difficult for the brat to understand.
"Oh come on", Eren presses on.
Levi finds himself at a loss of words because his resistance is slowly crumbling while Eren slips Levi's underwear down, freeing his semi-hard erection. There goes his chance of denying that he's actually enjoying it.
Eren moves his other hand to Levi's, which is still resting on Eren's chest, pushing him away. He feels Eren's hand clasping around his, guiding it down the boy's body to his side, where he lets it rest on his hips and Levi asks himself when exactly the brat has learned to be so damn arousing.
He lets himself be pulled into another kiss, and this time it's heated but lazy, as if Eren knows that he's won once again and can now take all the time in the world if we wants to.
"Enjoy, Corporal", he hears Eren breathe against his mouth and feels him sliding down his body. He's trying to stop Eren, seizing a bit of his hair, but Eren just slaps his hand away like an annoying fly and Levi needs to bite his hand to keep from panting when he feels Eren's hot tongue finding its goal.
He wonders when Eren has started becoming this good with his tongue and struggles to keep his moans at bay, swearing to himself that next time he gets the brat's ass, he'll take revenge and Eren won't be able to fucking walk for a whole week.
Afterwards he sees Mikasa and Armin lurking around the corner, quiet and hushed. They must have searched for Eren, probably because they were worried because he's not yet back from cleaning the stables. Armin's eyes are wide and unbelieving, while Mikasa's eyes are knowing and threatening. He's not sure what to think first, he's currently alternating between damn he was too loud, damn he's probably looking like a panting teenager with wobbly legs and he's probably lost all authority in this very moment (he'd make sure to restore it later) and damn it was totally worth it.
When Eren asks them, at least with a hint of embarrassment in his voice (serves him right), how long they've been standing there, Mikasa answers in a quiet and angry voice.
"Long enough."
Well, fuck.
Levi guesses that he's just done public.
Military Police
Missions together with the Military Police are never easy, to say the least. For Eren, Levi thinks to himself, they probably must be hell.
The members of the Police never fail to miss an opportunity to remind Eren what they think of him. He's an abomination, a monster, someone who should be killed instead of taken along outside the walls. Someone who doesn't have a right to exist and who is too dangerous to keep alive.
Every time Levi sees it happen he is reminded of all the times when they lie together afterwards in bed, Eren spilling his worries about not being human enough while Levi looks at him and all he sees is a boy with flushed cheeks and mussed hair who looks very human. He wonders when they will learn how very wrong they are. Probably never.
Also today is no different. They were sent to help the Police with a bodyguard mission inside the walls. The higher ups specifically requested Levi's squad, so here they were, and here was Eren.
Levi tries to ignore the dirty looks they throw Eren. He does, because Eren does too.
He's also quite successfully ignoring the sneers which keep coming. Because Eren is, too.
They dismount their horses, and someone from the Military has the guts to come forward and start throwing insults Eren which Levi finds absolutely disgusting.
This, Levi decides, can not be ignored.
He rushes forward in a split second, lands a punch in the stomach and then settles on waiting while the soldier is coughing and struggling for air on the ground. The participants of the mission have gone quiet, eyes on Levi, and hold their breaths. Levi moves forward until he's in front of the man who is now clutching his stomach, face to the ground. Waiting a few deliberate seconds to make sure that everyone is still watching, Levi then presses the tip of his shoe under the man's chin and raises up his head for everyone to see. Come to think of it, it's a pity that he didn't aim for the face.
"Don't ever try to speak such filthy words to one of my squad members again", he says, voice low and promising and tense with a hint of violence.
He then turns and gets to work as if nothing has happened, and feels Eren's questioning gaze on his back.
Later that evening when they have returned from the mission and are tending their horses, Eren approaches him with a stubborn glare. Levi glances up, but stays quiet.
"Can I ask you a question, Corporal?" Eren quietly asks although Levi doesn't know why, because they both know that Levi says no and Eren will ask his question anyway. So this time Levi settles on raising an eyebrow.
Eren clears his throat, clearly not used to Levi saying something different than no – well, Levi actually not saying anything.
"I was wondering why you were defending me this morning", he then goes on, clasping his hands behind his back and waiting for Levi's answer.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, brat", he answers while he continues currying his horse.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about", Eren snaps and unclasps his hands, snatching the curry comb from Levi's hands and holding on to it while fixating Levi with an annoyed and angry stare.
Levi narrows his eyes and shifts his gaze downwards, to the comb.
"I don't. Someone has insulted a member of my squad. So I made clear that he's not to do it again", he responds and shifts his eyes up to meet Eren's. "And now give me back that damn comb or I'll make you regret it."
"Who cares what happens to that comb. I don't need you to babysit me", Eren counters heatedly.
"I don't babysit you", Levi retorts irritated, grabs the comb with one of his hands and puts it onto the stool beside him. Fuck that comb and fuck Eren.
"You do", Eren starts again agitatedly, "and now everyone thinks that I can't defend myself on my own. Now everybody thinks that I'm a small child who clings to your every move and that I'm unable to stand on my own feet. Did you do that on purpose? So that everyone won't take me seriously unless I'm with you? Did you –"
"Brat", Levi interrupts him and places his hand on Eren's neck, tugging him forward until their lips meet. The kiss starts off rough, but slowly turns into something intense and intimate when Eren is melting against his lips, anger and irritation completely forgotten.
"I just want you to be safe", Levi murmurs quietly against Eren's lips, while he presses his forehead against Eren's, wondering what on earth makes him say such embarrassingly corny things while knowing deep down that it's the truth.
Titans
During a mission you're never safe. You never know who will be next, and you sure as hell never know who will come back alive.
Levi finds it strange and empty to think about what he would do if Eren died. He also doesn't want to think about it. It's making him restless and it lets him feel helpless. And he hates feeling helpless.
Normally he makes sure to stay around Eren, because you never know what the brat is actually up to and what that strange shifter brain is thinking (he suspects that most of the time the brain doesn't think at all). A quiet voice in the back of his head whispers that that's not the only reason, but most of the time he's pointedly ignoring it. Successfully ignoring it, so to speak.
But this time it's different. In the heat of the battle they were separated, he doesn't know how and when, he just knows that it's been too long and he's so tired and he doesn't want to fight any longer and he wonders why the hell Eren is not here with him.
He sees himself surrounded by a number of titans, which under normal circumstances is not that much of a problem – but his limbs are aching and he's tired and suddenly he hears that distinctive sound when his gear runs out of gas. Shit, he thinks, while he's falling from the sky and onto the ground and his world gets black.
When he comes to his senses again, the first things he notices are that he lies on blanket in a cart, feeling the wheels of it rumbling below him on the uneven ground, that his body hurts like hell and that he's alive.
He slowly opens his eyes and the second thing he notices is that someone is kneeling beside him.
The third thing he notices is that it's actually Eren kneeling beside him, and that the brat is holding his hand. He weakly tries to pull away, but soon realizes that his body won't work like he wants it to work. He breathes deeply a few times before he tries to speak.
"What happened?" he asks in a raspy voice. It hurts, and he muses that it might be better to not speak at all.
Eren squeezes his hand, which is slightly embarrassing but reassuring at the same time, and tells Levi that somebody found him just in time to not get eaten by a titan. His voice is trembling while he recounts what he's heard, and his hand keeps on squeezing tighter.
"You're hurting me", Levi whispers weakly.
Eren understands and after a moment his grip gets softer.
"Are you okay?" he asks and keeps his voice low. Levi slightly nods after some consideration.
They are quiet for a while until Levi attempts to sit up. To his surprise, Eren doesn't say anything, but helps him.
Once he sits, he hears Eren's relieved sigh and feels how his arm slides around Levi's body, steadying him, and finds himself in a soft kiss. Levi freezes, not sure about how to deal with it and not sure what to make of it. Thinking hurts, so he decides to abandon it for the moment and just lets himself be kissed by Eren, returning it, ignoring the hushed whispers of the people around him who are witnessing it.
"I thought I've lost you", Eren whispers into his ear, voice thick with withheld tears, and Levi suddenly knows that he's not the only one who dreads the other's death. He finds the thought strangely reassuring.
Dying
When Armin is killed during a mission, Eren is devastated.
He's not eating, he's not socializing, he's not living. He's desperate, he's shocked, and he doesn't know what to do without him. He shouts, agonized by his pain, he assigns blame to himself and everyone else although he knows deep down that nobody could have done anything to save him, he loses it and gets into a fight with a few fellow comrades and gets taken into custody for a full day.
Levi decides to not visit him, because surely Mikasa will be with him all the time.
After Eren is released, Levi hears a soft knock on his door. When he opens it, he finds Eren in front of him, eyes glued to the ground. He comes in without asking for permission and without acknowledging Levi's presence at all.
He sits onto Levi's bed and stares out of the window.
Levi decides to sit beside him.
After a while Eren starts to speak.
"I could have saved him", he says quietly.
"No, you couldn't have", Levi retorts as quietly.
They stay silent again and Levi knows what Eren is going through. He knows it because he remembers soft orange hair framing a bloody face with a dead gaze. He knows it because he remembers exactly how he was feeling when he told the soldiers to release the dead bodies so the carts wouldn't slow them down any longer.
And suddenly he remembers too much, and it's too vivid, and it has too many details and a quiet noise escapes him while he turns to Eren and softly presses him down onto the mattress.
Eren is staring up at him, his eyes searching for something to hold on, anything, to keep him going and to keep him alive, and Levi bends down, bracing himself with one arm besides Eren's head.
He hovers over Eren's face for a moment, their breaths mingling, and Levi is surprised when he feels a soft touch at the back of his head. Eren's hand guides him slowly further down until their lips meet. It's a delicate kiss, yet it's one of the most desperate and intimate kisses Levi has ever shared.
After a while he draws back and props himself up. He doesn't want to speak. He looks out of the window and sees out of the corner of his eye that Eren has pulled one of his arms over his face.
"Don't leave me", he hears Eren murmur quietly.
"I won't", Levi says, and suddenly he's quite sure that this thing between them is not just a Levi is not sure what to call it, because he's not sure what it actually is, he's not even sure if he wants to know what it is, anymore.
FIN