Hey guys :)

So this was actually the hardest chapter to write so far. I have a plan for each chapter, but some of them are a lot more detailed than others, and this chapter was very up in the air. Thanks for all your patience with this story. I have decided to attempt to post every Monday (Australia time) at some point during the day. I am officially back at Uni now (tutorials start this week), so unless I have an extra chapter written to post early, expect one weekly update. It all depends on how long a chapter is and how long it takes me to write it.

This chapter is dedicated to GeekaZoid420, who is also a fan of London Grammar. I also got really, really excited about Hey Now when it came on the show. I actually screamed a little. To address paragraphing comments, I understand you may have trouble reading and I want to make sure you're all happy, but I'm actually a Creative Writing student and that's how I know my paragraphing is correct for publishing. More than one person has said it now, though, so I'll try to address it even though it breaks my heart a little. This is how much I love you all for reading this.

Also, if you were wondering what Lydia's dress looks like, I took my inspiration from a wedding dress designed by a company called Damsel in this Dress on Facebook. If you type it into the search bar and look through their photos, you should be able to figure out which one I took the idea from. If not, let me know and I'll try to put the photo up somewhere so you can access it.

Anyways, that's it from me. Enjoy!

IV

Adrenaline vs Dopamine

It was not the first Saturday night in this school year for Lydia Martin. Nor would it be her last. But there was still something depressing about not having any plans for the evening. Lydia looked at her freshly-painted, apple-green toenails and sighed. She had already had a relaxing bath, applied a face and hair mask, exfoliated her body and painted her fingernails. Now her toenails were drying and- apart from the 20-minute waiting period which was required to avoid smudging- Lydia had nothing left to do to her body. She wasn't going anywhere or expecting company so her face could remain bare. Her hair was drying over her back, but Lydia didn't need to do unnecessary heat styling and cause damage. And, in typical Lydia fashion, all her homework was completed. Lydia carefully flipped onto her stomach and crossed her ankles in the air before opening the browser on her computer and starting to check social media. Two minutes later she was already bored. She closed the window and opened iTunes, clicking on her favourite playlist and starting to hum along to one of her favourite songs while opening a journal article file and starting to read. This had- sadly- become a very regular routine.

Lydia's phone was buzzing, and she reached across to her night stand to grab it and check her messages. The screen was lit up, and she quickly unlocked the phone to find a message from Allison.

Hey Lyds :) I know you're probably busy on a date or something, but I was wondering if you had Hallowe'en plans? x

Lydia almost smirked at the thought of actually having something to do, and replied immediately.

None just yet. I have ordered my costume though... ;) You can ring if you'd like. Not busy.

Lydia hated sounding desperate, but she sent the text anyway, as she had no idea how to rephrase it. Almost immediately there was a ringing sound coming from her phone, and Lydia pressed the answer button on the screen of her phone.

"Hi Allison," she said.

"Hey," Alison replied. "So, Scott and I were thinking about going to Adam Wagner's party and I wanted to know if you were planning on going somewhere or if you wanted to come with us." Lydia considered this. Adam was a decent guy- and his parties were always fun- but Lydia wasn't really up for playing dumb these days, and since she'd sworn off men after the Aidan incident last year, there were no acceptable boys around. And- besides the costumes- Hallowe'en wasn't all that fun.

She wasn't into pumpkin carving; it got in under your nails and wrecked a perfectly good manicure. Candy was bad for your waistline and your complexion. And- most of all- trick-or-treat had never made any sense to her. It was a lot more like Adrenaline or Dopamine. One provoked fear, and the other provoked, well, something that Lydia didn't want to think about because it had been months since she'd been satisfied in that way by someone other than her. If she was being honest with herself, she mostly missed the way Jackson had made her body feel these days. And there were plenty of guys who would willingly supply themselves to get her off. But Lydia had found herself fantasising more and more often about a certain pair of hands with, long graceful fingers and callouses and knuckles that would just feel so exquisite...

"No! I mean, I'm not really up for Hallowe'en this year. I ordered my costume about a month ago, but I'm not feeling a party anymore. But if you guys want to go, then that's fine," Lydia told Allison.

"Oh, good!" Allison said, sounding relieved. "Scott and I didn't want to go either, but I thought you'd probably have something planned and want a wing-woman. But now we can just stay in. It'll be so much nicer!" Lydia cracked a small smile. Even after finally coming clean about who she really was, Lydia had never felt able to entirely drop the part of her personality that she had created to deal with her life around other people. But it was becoming easier to let her friends into her real life.

"What about you guys come over to mine? Mum just bought a completely unnecessary sound system, but it should keep Scott entertained, and we can do the whole handing out candy thing. Besides, Mum has a work party. She already has her costume- the wicked witch of the East," Lydia offered, with a hint of her usual snark.

"Honestly, Lyds, that sounds amazing. I'm up for a night in without Dad breathing down our necks, so we're in," Allison said, and Lydia could hear the smile in her voice.

"Excellent. Be here at seven sharp. Bring pizza and I'll take care of the movie and the other refreshments," Lydia said.

Allison giggled and replied, "you know, we don't need to drink. It's only Hallowe'en."

"You may not need a drink, but I do. I'm sick of not having any fun. You and Scott will probably be doing something that rates significantly higher than PG-13. Besides, drinking games were invented for Hallowe'en," Lydia told Allison.

"Whatever you say. I gotta go. Talk soon," Allison said.

"Bye," Lydia said shortly, before hanging up and tossing the phone onto the covers in front of her and sighing. She was glad she could give Scott and Allison some much needed time together, but she hated being the third wheel in their relationship. It had been so much easier when she had had Jackson around. And now she couldn't go to her default because things were getting weird.

Nothing had happened with Stiles, apart from the studying sessions- which were something that Lydia looked forward to, no matter how much she tried to deny it- and spending time together in the classes they shared. However, Lydia had had a moment of revelation in one of their recent study sessions.

Three weeks previously...

"And... done!" Stiles said, pushing the button on the timer. They had been doing speed drills in preparation for the SATs in a week's time, and Lydia was enjoying the challenge. She had, of course, finished thirty seconds previously, but Stiles was definitely catching up to her. It was a Saturday, and the last of the last summer light was starting to push through the high windows, falling in beams onto the carpet and several spots on their table, sending patterns swirling. Lydia smiled slightly as she handed him the answer sheet to the problems, having already marked her own work (which was, of course, perfect).

Stiles reached across the desk for the red marking pen, and as he did his hand swept through one of the patches of light and lit up, his pale skin shining in the glow. Lydia had drawn in a breath at the sight. How had she not noticed that Stiles had hands like that? His fingers were long and slim, like that of a pianist, with ridges and callouses from lacrosse. They were both delicate and masculine; the kind of fingers a girl would not be able to resist holding in both platonic and intimate ways. Stiles' hand retracted once the pen was in his grasp, but Lydia continued to stare down as they began to flick over the paper, circling mistakes in red and ticking correct answers. Stiles had had to break her reverie.

"Lydia? Lydia? Lydia!"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about the English practice we have to do tomorrow," Lydia lied.

Stiles laughed and shook his head before saying, "we just finished the maths! You, Lydia Martin, have a one-track mind. I think you need to go on holiday or something."

"Yeah I sure could use some times between the sheets," Lydia quipped, obviously trying to embarrass Stiles with her double entendre.

"I know what you really meant, Lydia. I'm probably the only one who's seen you enough in the past couple of weeks to notice the bags under your eyes. We should get the last test done so you can get some sleep," Stiles said unembarrassed, closing the matter. The two of them had packed up and left the library soon after that so that they both had enough time to do reading before bed, but the thoughts of Stiles' fingers had lingered and left Lydia in a state of extreme sexual and emotional frustration.

Present...

If she was being honest with herself, she was over Jackson. She wasn't ready for another man in her life, though. And then there was her new-found, confusing attraction to Stiles Stilinski, for Christ's sake. The pressure was almost too much. Lydia turned around on the bed, and hung her head over the edge, facing the floor, and pulled a small, grey box out from under the bed. It was sealed with a lock, just in case her mother ever decided to snoop, and Lydia quickly keyed in the code. The lock was gone in a minute, and Lydia opened the box and pulled out some of her favourite things, before shutting it and re-locking it. She stripped down, picked up the items and strolled into her bathroom, locking the door carefully and turning on the shower. There was nothing she could do about her confused emotions unless she examined them, and she was not in the mood for a trip through her mental insanities. She could, however, ease her physical frustration.

"Nothing like a good orgasm to stop troublesome thoughts," Lydia said to herself as she stepped into the warm fall of water, and closed her eyes, ignoring the fact that she had already showered that evening. A familiar, buzzing noise could just be heard above the sound of running water, and as the vibrator entered her, Lydia pictured a set of long, pale, masculine fingers parting her folds instead. It didn't bother her until much later that instead of fantasising about one of her usual celebrities (Henry Cavill was her current choice) that she had- for the first time in her life- fantasised about someone she actually knew. And not just anyone, but Stiles Stilinski and his long fingers.

"You're quiet," Stiles remarked when they met later in the week to compare assignments for Physics. Even though time had passed since her realisation of the attraction she had to Stiles, Lydia was still conflicted over her actions on Saturday. Lydia had freaked herself out with her behaviour and she realised that she was going to have to deal with it sooner or later. And had Lydia picked sooner, if her heightened snark was any indication.

"I'm just reading. Do you have a problem with me making your assignment better, Stilinski?" she said, pushing her hair over her shoulder.

"No! No problems here. Oh, actually, I did have a question though," Stiles told her, a frown forming on his face.

Lydia sighed, put down her red pen and asked, "yes?"

"Well, I was wondering if you were okay. I mean, you've been, well, meaner than usual in the past week, and you actually have one of the problems wrong on your assignment," Stiles revealed.

"What? No I don't!" Lydia shrieked, grabbing the paper Stiles had been looking over and finding one of the questions covered in pen, and obviously incorrect now she looked at it.

Stiles' mouth started to tilt up at the corners in a small smile.

"Okay, so I got a question wrong. So what? Everyone makes mistakes," Lydia said dismissively.

"Not you, Lydia. You could do this type of math in your sleep," Stiles remarked. Lydia sighed. She realised she was going to have to give a little to get the quiet she wanted.

"Okay, I have a few things going on at the moment. No, I don't want to talk about them. Yes I'm fine. Now, we need to discuss how we are going to survive Allison and Scott being nauseatingly affectionate on Saturday night, because the only time I ever throw up on Hallowe'en is when I do to many vodka shots," Lydia effectively switched the conversation topic to something she was happy discussing.

"Ah, yes, the dream couple. I did have a few ideas after Scott invited me, if you're interested," Stiles mentioned.

"Anything to avoid watching their tonsil tennis," Lydia said, glad for the distraction. Her indiscretions put out of her mind for the minute, she could focus on avoiding any stray thoughts of sexual encounters with the hands that were gesturing wildly in the air in front of her.

It was five minutes to seven. Lydia was finishing the curls in the bottom of her hair, expertly using her curling iron to get perfect ringlets to sit in her strawberry-blonde locks. Earlier in the week, she and Allison decided that even though they were going to be staying in, they should get dressed up, as there was nothing lamer as a kid then getting candy from someone who wasn't in a good costume. Lydia had been many characters in all her years of Hallowe'en, but she had been saving this particular costume for several years.

Her first year at Beacon Hills High School she and Jackson had attended the annual dance as Spiderman and Mary-Jane, when everything was relatively simple. They had won the award for best costume, too. Sophomore year everything was wrong; she had been through so much that Hallowe'en wasn't even on her mind. Last year, she had bought a Merida (from Brave) costume online, choosing a Disney theme. All four of them had gotten involved. Stiles dressed as Flynn Rider from Tangled, Allison had gone as Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and Scott had (fittingly) used some of his werewolf skills and gone as the Beast. Despite the elaborate costumes, they had spent the whole time tracking the Darach and they hadn't had a chance to enjoy the occasion. It was understandable why they wanted a relaxing night in this year. And, despite the night in, Lydia knew she looked amazing.

The doorbell rang downstairs, and Lydia checked her reflection in the mirror one last time, and re-touched the bright red lipstick to ensure it was at it's best. She fluffed her long, curled locks and started down the stairs. Pulling open the front door, she took in her three friends. Allison looked incredible and was wearing a tight unitard of black fabric, a pair of cat ears and a black mask. She made an stunning Catwoman. Scott was dressed as Batman, complete with a Utility belt and a cape. He was also holding the pizza, which made Lydia give a small smile at the unexpected humour of the situation. And Stiles, in typical Stiles fashion, was dressed in the most dorky and somehow accurate costume Lydia had ever seen him wear: Robin. Scott was the first to break into laughter, and they all followed, even Lydia. They were all in their Gotham best.

"So, Allison. I guess you weren't kidding when you said you thought Poison Ivy was a good idea then?" Lydia asked, realising what had happened. Lydia had confided in Allison earlier that week and Allison had asked if Lydia minded if she went as Catwoman, as that had been her original plan. Obviously Scott had wanted to match, and Stiles didn't want to be left out either.

"No I wasn't. This'll be great for some photos though," Allison offered. Lydia just shook her head and opened the door wider for them to step inside and let the light from inside fall onto her outfit properly.

"Lydia, you look incredible! But do not feel that my comment in any way reflects shock or surprise, as you always look great. And please note that I do not make the comment just to prevent you ripping off your dress from insecurity," Stiles said, making a personal joke about the time they had attended the formal and Jackson had been a dick to her. Lydia laughed, as she knew she looked good, anyway. She had abandoned the typical leotard covered in very poorly sewn fake leaves in favour of a much sexier costume. She was in a strapless, olive-green dress which had a sweetheart neckline. The dress was tight to her tiny waist, and down over her hips to just under her ass. The front was adorned by leaves and vines along the centre starting from her right side and over her breasts to near her heart. Her legs were uncovered, and ended in a pair of green heels with straps that wound up her calves like vines and had small groups of leaves attached to the covering over her toes. The only other thing that she wore for her outfit was a crown similar to laurels, but made from ivy leaves and tiny flowers.

"I know. But thanks for saying it. Now, please tell me you ordered a pepperoni, pineapple and olive, or else I'm going to have to give someone the kiss of death," Lydia joked as her and her four friends made their way into the living room where drinks and a Batman movie were waiting.

The pizza boxes were nearly empty, and someone had stacked them up on top of each other on the end table next to the couch. Scott and Allison were curled up in each other's arms on chaise of the couch, Stiles was sprawled out in the middle section with his feet on the coffee table and Lydia was curled into the corner of the couch with her legs tucked under her and her head resting on the arm. They were currently watching the final scene from Batman Begins, and they had nearly exhausted the large supply of candy that Lydia had purchased for the trick-or-treaters. Lydia was on her second Martini, and well on her way to tipsy, given her small frame. The movie ended and the credits started to roll. Lydia picked up the remote and changed the screen to the music player, putting on some soft background music.

"What's the plan?" Allison asked, knowing Lydia would have something in mind.

"I Never," Lydia replied with a coy smile.

"Not that again!" Scott protested half-heartedly.

"Well, do you have a better idea?" Lydia asked snarkily, rising and moving towards the alcohol cabinet and beginning to search inside for what she was looking for.

"Can't we just do Truth or Dare? Its so much easier," Scott asked.

"Fine. But if you take truth, you have to take a sip of your drink. It'll get you all to be more honest," Lydia decided, pouring out a glass of Scotch for each of them from the decanter her father had kept; the one her mother got in the divorce, just to spite him. She set the tray down on the coffee table, and they all gathered around it, claiming a glass.

"Who wants to start?" Lydia asked, with a pouty smile.

"I'll go. Allison, Truth or Dare?" Stiles said, jumping straight into the game.

Half an hour later, all four of them were well beyond tipsy. Allison had revealed that she lost her virginity to Scott, which was not a surprise to anyone. Scott had had to kiss Stiles on the lips; both boys had seemed conflicted, but a peck was given and the complaining had ensued. Lydia had done a sexual dance, taking off her heels and flower crown. It was Lydia's turn to subject someone to the eternal question.

"Stiles? Truth or Dare?" She asked, coyly.

"Well, as much as I love you, Scott, I do not have any inclination to kiss you again, so I'm gonna go with Truth," Stiles said, taking a large sip of the Scotch that was left in his glass.

"Hmm... okay. I have one. Who did you lose your virginity to?" Lydia cocked her head, actually interested in the answer. Stiles had turned his head away from the group and mumbled something under his breath.

"Come on, Stilinski. You know the rules," Lydia pushed him.

"I'm still a virgin," Stiles said, turning red and obviously embarrassed.

"Really? But after everything that happened last year? I totally thought you lost it and just kept it quiet, man," Scott said, obviously shocked.

"Well, maybe I kept quiet so that I wouldn't get teased about the fact that I've never had sex. Just in case you didn't notice, you three haven't been virgins for a while," Stiles said, obviously angry at having to admit this. At that moment, the doorbell rang. Apparently there were still Trick-or-Treaters out. Allison started to get up, disentangling herself from Scott. Before she could stand, she was interrupted.

"I'll go," Stiles said and quickly stood, grabbed the bowl of candy from where it was on the couch and walked down the hall through the entrance way with hunched shoulders.

"Well, that went well," Scott said, pointedly looking at Lydia.

"Hey, it isn't her fault, Scott. We all made the assumption that Stiles had had sex and we all contributed to that embarrassment. We're all responsible," Allison said diplomatically. Even though they were all in part to blame for Stiles' mortification (including Stiles himself), Lydia was realising that she considered Stiles a close friend. And, in spirit of that friendship, she would have to take responsibility for her actions.

"Let me talk to him," Lydia said firmly, and got up from her position on the floor. Scott and Allison just nodded, and glanced at each other before their eyes followed Lydia down the hallway.

Stiles was just shutting the door when Lydia reached him. He turned to find her there and sighed, knowing full well that Lydia would not just dismiss his behaviour. Lydia delivered on that. But, she did take into account Stiles' feelings.

"So, I'm sorry for asking you that question. It was presumptuous of me and even though I thought that I wasn't asking something that important, it was obviously important to you," Lydia said, looking at Stiles, who had his head turned towards the floor.

"I know you didn't mean it, Lydia. I'm not so much angry. But I am embarrassed. You've all had that experience, and I haven't and sometimes- even though I know it's stupid- it makes me feel kind of inferior to you guys. I feel like I'm not up to scratch and now Isaac and Scott are friends and Allison is back in the picture, I feel like I'm not important," Stiles confided. Lydia was not known for platonic physical affection, but seeing Stiles' wide, brown eyes so forlorn, she acted unthinkingly. Lydia stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Stiles' waist, pressing her face into his chest. She breathed in his warm, musky smell and relaxed into the hug as she felt his arms come around her. They stood like that for about ten seconds before Lydia pulled away and looked up at Stiles.

"Look, Stiles. I don't regret having sex. Because, frankly, I enjoy it too much to ever regret it. But not having had sex is not a bad thing. When you do choose to do it, it will be entirely mind-blowing and you will never want to stop. But don't ever think that being a virgin makes you any less of a person. It just means that you have an experience you've decided not to have yet," Lydia said, speaking honestly. She knew that this was not the time for her harsh words. Stiles' eyes had widened as she had spoken, but the creases in his forehead had smoothed out, and his lips has quirked up at the corners. It was in that moment that Lydia realised that his hands were still resting on her waist and hers were on his chest. In fact, his hands were so large that they almost fit entirely around her. She blinked, dumbly, but could not break the electric stare that had formed between them. Thirty seconds passed, then a minute, but Lydia was drowning in the liquid caramel pools. Stiles moved his hand from her waist and brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear, trailing his hand down her neck before settling it back on her waist. Lydia sucked in a deep breath as she felt a tendril of heat in her lower belly. Stiles cocked his head, seemingly thinking, before slowly deciding to lean in. And Lydia wasn't one to refuse a good kiss. But all rational thoughts were suddenly returned to her head when the doorbell rang. Lydia and Stiles jumped away from each other in shock, and then realised what had been about to happen. Lydia turned away and grabbed the candy bowl, turning the doorknob. Right before she head a chorus of 'Trick-or-Treat', she head Stiles' light footsteps making their way back into the living room.

Later that night after she was alone again, she repeated her ritual from the previous Saturday. It took her three days to come to terms with the fact that, yes, she was attracted to Stiles Stilinski, and three more for her to forgive herself for the mental images which had become a regular occurrence in her nightly physical release sessions. But she refused to accept that she might have let herself act on it. Lydia Martin was sworn off boys. Even ones with very, very nice hands.

Okay, so I couldn't resist a flower crown. I'm sorry, but it had to happen. Besides, she was dressed as Poison Ivy, and who would pass up the opportunity. Don't pretend you wouldn't do it too. #flowercrownsforeveryone! :)

Also, you should all feel very lucky because this chapter is a lot longer than I anticipated (4,259 words, not including authors notes!) which is why I've decided to update once a week. It will give me time to write, as I like to keep a chapter ahead so I always have something to fall back on and so that you get a chapter a week. I hate waiting for stuff too, so know I have you all in the back of my mind.