Warnings: Language, sexual situations, M/M (Yaoi) If any of that turns out off, please walk away

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII, and Kingdom Hearts belong to Square Enix and Disney. Sadly, they do not belong to me.

It was a Sunday afternoon when Zack passed away.

Cloud had been sitting beside Zack's bed, holding his hand as he read from one of Zack's favorite books, ' Black Beauty', when Zack's heart had given out. It happened so suddenly, and all Cloud could do was listen to the sound of the heart monitor; monitoring a heart that wouldn't ever beat again...

No matter how much Cloud wished it to.

Cloud just sat there, a numb feeling going over him, and no thought at all crossing his mind. The nurse came into the room, and gently unhooked the heart monitor, cutting out the long, depressing sound. Cloud had heard that sound in so many movies and TV shows, one sound that meant so little in those moments, but now meant so much.

"I'm terribly sorry..." the nurse said, looking at Cloud.

Cloud stood up slowly, the book on his lap falling to the ground in a crumpled heap. He kept a tight grip on Zack's now limp hand.

"If you would like, we have a room where you can go and sit for a--"

"Will he get cold?" Cloud whispered, sounding almost like a child. Not daring to look the nurse in the eyes he kept his gaze fixed on her shoulder.

"Yes, in a little while..." she replied, her voice even and calm.

"He...he didn't feel any pain...did he?"

"No, not at all."

Cloud nodded slowly.

Suddenly a wail could be heard from the doorway. Cloud didn't even flinch as the sound hit his ears. He simply stood there, as Zack's mother rushed into the room, tears streaming down her face as she made her way towards her son's bedside. Zack's father soon followed, grabbing onto the bed's railing, trying to support himself as his legs threatened to give way.

Cloud wouldn't, no he couldn't look at them. Not at the ones who had lost so much. They should have been here with Zack when it happened.

Cloud was about to get lost in the sound of the heart wrenching sobs coming from the other side of the bed, when he felt a calm, warm hand touch his arm.

"Cloud...why don't you come with me?"

That voice...it sounded so familiar...so soothing. Cloud slowly tore his gaze away from the bed sheets he had been staring at to look at a girl...no... not a girl... Aerith.

Yes, Aerith was here.

Cloud tried not to look at Zack as he left. Zack was gone; all that was left was a body... a body that would no longer hold onto Cloud, whispering comforting words. But he had to look, just one last time. He gazed up at Zack's now peaceful face. His eyes were closed, and if Cloud didn't know any better he would say he was just sleeping. The last few weeks had been really hard on Zack. He tried to stay happy, and put on a great show of it, but Cloud could see it was wearing him down... but now, now he looked like he could finally rest...like he was at peace.

Cloud felt Aerith tug at his arm, and ripped his eyes away from Zack's still form. Zack was gone...

"He's gone..." Cloud spoke, his voice cracking slightly as Aerith led him out of the room and down to hallway. "He's...he's not coming back..."

The sound of Zack's mother's sobs, and the murmur of the nurse speaking slowly and calmly could still be heard down the hallway, but it all sounded muffled and far, far away to Cloud.

Aerith didn't reply when she heard Cloud speak; only leading him farther away, until they were outside.

It was a beautiful day.

The sun was shining down, the birds were singing...and Cloud...Cloud was lost.

Aerith held Cloud's hand as the both of them just stared out at the small park beside the hospital.

"He's really gone..." Cloud choked out, falling to the ground in a crumpled heap. Tears suddenly spilled forward, as he curled up into himself, his choked sobs shaking his entire frame. Aerith came down to Cloud's level and dragged him into a hug, his tears quickly soaking into her shirt. He grabbed onto Aerith, his fingers digging into her shoulder, threatening to bruise but neither one of them noticed.

"I know." She whispered, her voice wavering as tears slid down her cheeks.

Cloud's feet were planted firmly on the ground, his hands clasped in front of himself, as the gentle winter breeze ruffled his hair. It was chilly, and a few people around him shivered but he paid no attention the ache in his bones, protesting the chill and the stillness.

"I feel so sorry for the family, he was so young."

"Cancer...it's such a horrible thing. You know, I always donate my money to different cancer charities. You know those little boxes where you put your change in? I always give my pennies to it."

Cloud stared at Zack's headstone, trying not to listen to the conversations going on around him. Why did people think that this was a social gathering? It wasn't a time to talk about charity boxes; it was a time to remember what they had lost!

'Zackary James Fair

1990-2007

Beloved Son
Devoted Friend

Smiling to the end'

Cloud read the words over and over again... it was oddly fitting. If anyone knew Zack, they knew he loved to smile.

Zack wasn't actually being buried. Some of his ashes were being placed under the tombstone, but Cloud was told that the rest of his ashes were to be scattered some place in Olympia, a place where Zack apparently spent a great deal of time. His parents and his Grandmother were making the flight over in a few days.

'Who's that young man over there?'

'Oh, didn't you know? That was Zackary's lover!'

'Lover you say? Why, there both males!'

'I know, it's all very scandalous, isn't it?'

'Still, the poor dear must be having a hard time of this as well.'

'Humph, I guess. But you know, God doesn't let everyone in heaven...if you know what I mean.'

Cloud clenched his fists and stuffed them into his pocket trying to control the rage burning inside him. He wanted nothing more then to go and show those two women what a real scandal was by possibly tackling them down right then and there. But he didn't think Zack's family would really appreciate Cloud disturbing this somber moment by taking out his frustration and grief on a few people attending the service.

Zack might have found it amusing though. Zack could make light of almost any situation. Cloud could see him right now, standing there, a mischievous look on his face as he snaked his arm around Cloud's waist. He would lean in and probably give Cloud a kiss on the cheek, while watching the reactions of the woman out of the corner of his eye. And Cloud would let him do all of these things, because Zack was Zack, and he could get away with anything regarding Cloud...he was special that way.

"Hey..."

Cloud felt someone standing beside him.

It was Reno.

"Hey." Cloud replied, flicking his gaze towards him for a moment, before they fell back to stare at the Zack's name on the tombstone.

Cloud had found it hard as of late to look people in the eye. He didn't really know why, maybe it was because he was so in love with Zack's eyes. That was the first thing he noticed and fell in love with in regards to Zack. They always held so much warmth and love in them...everyone else's eyes just appeared dull and slightly accusing in his eyes now.

"How you holding up?" Reno asked, looking around at all the people gathered. Apparently Reno found it hard to keep his sights on anyone for longer then two seconds.

Cloud took a moment to reply, his gaze fixed onto Zack's headstone. "As good as can be expected. What about you?"

"Pretty much the same..."

"Do you think you're going to be okay?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah... it will take a while but yes. I have some support systems so that's good."

Cloud nodded. He had seen Rude holding Reno's hand earlier, and the two were standing very close. It appeared they had gotten back together after all. He couldn't help but think of how that was one thing Zack wanted to see before he died.

'It's a little late now.' Cloud thought in a bitter way, but quickly stopped himself. He should be happy for Reno. Any kind of love at this point would hopefully shine a small light on the group; god knows they could use that.

It had only been three days since Zack passed away, and everyone had been very depressed those three days. Aerith, Reno, Sephiroth, and Cloud all stayed together none of them wanting to alone for very long. They all stayed rather quiet, not talking much, but still taking comfort to know that they were all still there.

Cloud felt like he was going to fall apart any moment. He had cried, oh boy had he cried. It seemed like he spent most of his time now crying, or trying not to cry. He just wanted to give in...wanted to just go to sleep and never wake up. Go to sleep and see Zack there... waiting with open arms...

"Are you going to be okay?" Reno asked tentatively. He had watched Cloud's downward spiral hopelessly. He didn't know what to do. Every day Cloud looked worse and worse. He was paler then he was before, and it appeared that he wasn't getting much sleep, nor enough food.

Cloud didn't respond. Of course he wasn't going to be okay? How could he be okay? The person he loved so much wasn't evercoming back. You aren't going to be 'okay' after that.

"Yeah." Cloud mumbled.

"He loved you... he really did." Reno said, finally looked at Cloud.

Suddenly everything felt like it was closing in on Cloud, and he didn't know what to do. He quickly turned from Reno and continued on in an unknown direction. Reno reached out slightly to stop Cloud, but stopped himself. He just needed some time alone...right?

Cloud got a few glances, and concerned looks as he stormed off, and away from the graveyard, but only glared forward, paying no attention to anyone around him. His suit felt hot, and like it was threatening to choke him. He frantically ripped away at the tie, getting it off and throwing it to the ground as he continued on his unknown path.

Why did Reno say that? Cloud didn't want to think about how much Zack loved him, didn't want to think about what he had lost... it just hurt too much.

Cloud stumbled over a tree root, and fell down onto his knees underneath a tree, tears coming and stinging his eyes. He stayed on the ground, shaking with anger, grief, and exhaustion. He let out a loud, angry scream and pounded the earth with his fist.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!" he screamed out, causing a few birds in the tree to fly up into the air. "WHY?!"

Cloud collapsed onto his stomach exhaustion overtaking him. Tears were slowly coming down, but the anger he felt just moments ago was replaced with just a sense of not caring anymore. He laid there with his eyes shut, completely still listening to the birds singing, and the occasional car drive by down the street.

After what seemed like an eternity Cloud opened his eyes, and his gaze fell upon a small black beetle, making its way across the dead, prickly grass. Weren't these supposed to be hibernating?

"... I don't think I can make it Zack." Cloud whispered.

He watched with little interest as the beetle came closer, and closer, until it seemed to trip on a piece of grass, and fall down on its back. Its legs frantically moved about, trying to move so its momentum would work for his advantage and he would be back on track.

"It's so hard without you..."

The beetle kept fighting.

Cloud let out a heavy sigh, and reached out for the beetle poking it with his finger. The beetle immediately stopped moving. He shifted a bit, and felt a sharp jab on his chest. He sat up slightly, and reached down his shirt only to come into contact with something hard.

His necklace.

He pulled it out from under his shirt, and pulled it closer to his face, examining the blue stone and the way the silver caught the light, casting a bright light over his face. It was so shiny...and pure. Cloud was entranced by it for a moment, and just let his mind wander.

" You have to live out your life, and live it to the fullest okay? Just think of your necklace alright? It means 'life' and I want you to have one after I am gone..."

Zack's voice went through Cloud's head and struck a cord. Zack wanted him to live...wanted him to do everything that he wanted in life... everything Zack couldn't do now.

Live your life to the fullest and always be happy.

Cloud smiled slightly, remembering his New Years resolution. "You always have a way of making me promise, and do things I don't really want to do... yet after I do those things, it always seems to turn out better then expected..."

Cloud whipped away a few of the dried tears and rubbed his eyes. "You haven't left me though...have you? Your still here...just..."

"Where you can't see me"

Cloud felt a warm breeze fall over him, and brush away a few stray hairs. He laughed slightly and shook his head. "How cliché."

Cloud looked down at the beetle and noticed it had gotten itself back onto its feet, and was moving as quickly as possible away from the large, loud pink thing that had decided to get in his path. Cloud watched the beetle go a little ways away before deciding to stand up and look around, trying to figure out where he was.

Then it hit him.

He was at the tree Zack always visited when he was upset...the place where they shared their first kiss. Cloud looked up the tree and smiled slightly, remembering how he had fallen and how Zack had held onto him, keeping him from face planting into his chest. Cloud tentatively reached out to the tree and traced the old, worn lines of the bark.

"I'll live out both our lives." Cloud whispered, keeping his hand on the tree while the other held onto the necklace. He gazed out to look at the sun set, its orange glow basking Cloud in warmth. "Tomorrow is a new day..."

Authors Note: Dear god this chapter took a lot out of me. It took me a while to get it all down and actually make it flow properly. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter mostly because I think grief is such a hard subject to write about because people go through the stages differently. Here we have angry upset and crying Cloud, while I deal with grief by having one good cry and then being fine and accepting it. So yeah, I had to go into a different frame of mind! I hope it all turned out well and I do have one more chapter left for you guys to read. It's super short and I wouldn't even call it a chapter. Just an Epilogue to close everything up and tie up all the loose ends. So, I shall wait until the end of the story to write down all my thank you's and so on and so forth! But I shall thank you guys for all the reviews! The story hit 100 Reviews the other day and I want to thank all of you guys for reviewing! So remember one more chapter next week and I hope this whole story didn't depress you guys too much!