It is dark. In the middle of the room a boy with tousled black hair sits, a towel around his shoulders, the bluish light from the computer screen in front of him illuminating his face. He picks up the piece of paper sitting next to him. He seems to be skimming the page – a little sigh can be heard. He begins to type something. An elderly man appears on the screen, wearing a black suit.
"It is good to see you, Master Dick."
"Alfred, good to see you too!"
"Now, tell me how much damage you have done this month that you are so glad to see me."
The boy scratches his head, a sheepish look on his face.
"Uh, okay. This month we destroyed 27 cars, 12 floors, 16 walls and 23 windowpanes. A few electronic devices – lets see, 4 TVs, 3 computers and 25 light bulbs, including street lamps."
The elderly man on the screen glares.
"I'm sorry! It was just a busy month and like, Cinderblock doesn't care how many cars he tramples, these alien guys appear and they don't know how valuable cars are, do they?" the boy says quickly.
"I wonder why Master Bruce never destroys so much when he goes for his nighttime strolls," says Alfred.
"Yeah, well, we're 5 teenagers, we're bound to destroy a bit…" Another glare. "A lot more." Dick corrects. "Anyway, Batman's doesn't have many unusual powers, but Starfire throws starbolts, Cyborg uses his sonic cannon, Beastboy turns into animals and Raven uses black energy. How could we fight without destroying something?"
Alfred grumbles a little, something about careless teens and him having to clean up after his messes.
"Hey, the Justice League isn't exactly careful either! Especially Superman." Dick retaliates.
"Master Dick, please try to refrain from destroy something if it is not totally necessary."
"I'll spread the word."
"It is becoming exceedingly difficult to hide from Master Bruce that I am assisting you. I request that you minimize the damage, or try to earn the money yourselves."
"Bruce doesn't look at how much money his using, he trusts that all to you. I do know that much about my own guardian."
"Batman knows everything, do you not remember that about your own guardian?"
"Yeah, I remember. Thanks for everything you've done for us, Alfred. We all appreciate it, really."
Alfred smiles.
"Coming from you, Master Dick, I know it is true."
"I'll send you the list so you can look at it too. Wait a sec," Dick busies himself with the computer, and after a few moments, Alfred speaks.
"I have the file. So what were you going to say?"
"The floors and the walls will be covered by the state, but the windows won't. 13 of the 27 car owners told me they have insurance and they'll be fine, but the other 14 need a new car. The TVs and computers need to be repaid. Oh, yeah, the light bulbs don't need to be paid, because the people there said it was all right and the streetlamps will be fixed by the state. "
"How did you arrange that with the state?" the man on the screen says, surprise evident in his voice.
"Slade, and the Brotherhood of Evil."
"I see. And what else?"
"We, um, decided to help building this office complex."
"Good job."
"We needed to do something."
"Yes, that is true. Well that considerably lowers the costs. I congratulate you on finding a way to cooperate with the government."
"I learnt a lot from Batman, and Bruce Wayne, too."
"You still have not
explained to me the reason you were stealing valuables from Wayne
Enterprises."
"He knows that, too?!"
"Of course."
"Oh, damn, I have a lot of explaining to do, don't I?"
"If you ever come to speaking terms with Master Bruce, then yes."
"He's the one who should apologize."
"Oh, yes, of course, whatever you say, Master Dick."
"ALFRED!!"
"Please, Master Dick, lower your voice unless you wish to speak to Master Bruce here and now."
"Sometimes I miss living with you in the manor."
"Sometimes I miss your annoying manner, Master Dick. And please do not shout my name, unless you want your friends to know your identity, the one you have strived to hide from them, although they may already know. You were rather famous."
"Okay, okay."
Dick glances at the clock.
"Alfred, I'll contact you later, it's past midnight."
"Good night Master Dick."
"Good night Alfred."
Dick turns off the computer, standing up as he did so. He finishes drying his wet hair and picks up his mask. He puts it on, and climbs into his bed.
He was Robin again.