Since Santana died, I had dreamless nights. My dreams were usually filled with unicorns and rainbows. But now they were gone. Until tonight.
"Brittany get up. You have to go to school." I opened my eyes and found myself in my mom's car.
"What?" She unlocked the doors.
"You're going to be late Britt. Now go on, the bell is about to ring." I rubbed my eyes, confused. Closing the door behind me, my mom waved bye to me and drove off. I looked up at the front doors, and began to walk towards them. The school bell went off, and everyone in the hallways were starting to head to their classes. The chatter of students, and the sound of lockers closing was something I remembered like it were yesterday.
"Brittany!" The voice sounded all too familiar. "Britt, come to me. Find me, babe." Santana. I frantically scanned the sea of people in the hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I heard the voice calling me again. "Brittany. You know where to go, come to me." I ran down the hallway and took a left, and stepped into the choir room. And there she was. Sitting on one of the chairs, looking at me. She smiled, and tapped the chair next to her.
"Come here, Britt. I was waiting for you." I walked over to her and sat there.
"Am I dead?" I asked. She chuckled, and pulled me in for a hug. I could feel her embrace, the warmness of her skin. The shampoo from her hair, and the perfume she was wearing. It was like she was really there.
"No Britt, you're not dead." She turned towards me now. "Do you know why I've brought you to the choir room?" I shook my head. "I brought you here because this is the first place I ever sang a song to you. The place that everyone accepted us; no matter whom we loved. The one place that we were never judged because of who we were. I've brought you here because I needed to see you Britt. I've watched you every night since I've left. And it kills me to see you in the condition that you are. Crying every night, barely eating." I looked down, and a tear began to fall.
"I miss you that's why, San. It's hard without you. I feel like I have nothing to live for." She grabbed my face gently, and made me look at hers.
"I miss you too, Britt. I don't want to be here without you. But you can't keep doing this to yourself okay? You have everything to live for." She kissed me, and stood up. "Come with me, okay? Trust me." I stood up and took her hand, and we walked out of the choir room. We walked up to where our lockers used to be, and she turned to me.
"I would wait here everyday for you. When I saw your face coming down the hallway, I would smile. My heart would skip a beat. I felt on top of the world. You would come up next to me, and start opening your locker. That was before you knew I liked you. After what seemed to be forever, we were finally together. And instead of opening your locker first, you would kiss me. It gave me so many butterflies that I thought they were going to fly straight out of my mouth." She laughed. She opened her locker and got something out of it. "This is for you Britt." It was a gold necklace, with the letter "S" on it.
"It's beautiful, San. I love it." She helped me put it on, and held me from behind.
"I miss this. I miss being able to hold you, and kiss you. Being able to lay in bed with you and cuddle." She started crying. "I came to visit you tonight because I needed to tell you that you're going to be okay. You need to start living. If not for yourself, then for me. Live, Brittany. Don't stop living your life because I'm no longer there. I'm always going to be here." She pointed to my head, and then moved her finger down to where my heart was. "And here. I promise you. So promise me, that you're going to live." I grabbed her hands, and kissed her.
"I know you will babe. And I promise that I'll live. I'll keep that promise." I answered.
"And promise me that you'll do things with Quinn and Rachel and actually have a good time. Because I know you've only been doing things with them to humor them and make them think that you're happy. Stop being stubborn. Let them help you." I looked up. She was watching the entire time.
"Yes babe. I will okay? Can I just tell you something?" She nodded her head.
"I have loved you from the day I saw you in the locker room. You were so sexy, so beautiful. And you still are. I miss the way you would wake me up every morning. The way that you would stare at me in the mirror while I'm getting ready for work. How you would keep me company in the kitchen when I was cooking dinner for us. Our date nights on Fridays. I just miss everything about you Santana. I feel lonely without you." She looked at me, walking closer and holding me.
"You won't be lonely, you'll be okay. You'll see. I have to go now, Britt. I'm sorry I have to leave you again. " My heart dropped.
"No. Please, don't go San. Please don't go." She held my hand, and kissed me one last time.
"I have to, Britt. But I promise I'll be back again, okay? I promise." I felt her fingers let go, and she started walking down the hallway. I ran after her, but no matter how fast I ran I couldn't catch her. She reached the front doors of the school and turned around one last time. I looked at her. She waved bye, and blew me a kiss.
"I love you Britt. Don't forget about that promise. See you soon." And she walked out the doors. I reached the doors and flew them open. There was a bright light.
I sat up on the couch, forgetting where I was for a minute. Mercedes walked out from the hallway and looked at me.
"What's wrong Britt? You looked like you just seen a ghost." She chuckled and walked into the kitchen. "I'm going to make breakfast. You want anything specific?"
"No I'm sure whatever you're going to make will be good. Where's the bathroom?" I asked.
"It's the second door on the right." I heard the sound of oil hitting a hot pan. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I turned the water on, and washed my face. I held myself up over the sink, allowing the water to drip off of my nose. I touched my face; it really did feel like I was with Santana last night. I grabbed a towel and wiped my face. When I finished, I looked at myself in the mirror. My jaw dropped.
"The necklace." I whispered. I went to touch it to see if I wasn't just seeing things. I felt the gold between my fingers. In complete shock, I walked into the kitchen. Mercedes looked at me.
"Are you sure you're alright Britt?" I held out the necklace to show her. "That's a nice necklace, Britt. When did you get it?"
"Last night. When Santana visited me."