Captain Spirk
Disclaimer: Really now. Yes. They're mine. No. I'm not sharing. KTHXBYE.
Summary: The solution revealed? And awkward situations abound (:D) cutting to the slight seriousness near the end.
WARNING: A bit of K/S craziness near the end. Nothing too graphic or serious but just thought I should mention it. So if this isn't your thing then: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OK. That is all. The rest of you BRAVE SOULS can proceed now.
A/N: A BIG SMOOCHIE AND THANKS TO ALL THE LOVELY REVIEWS AND SUPPORT! Keep e'm coming!
Chapter Five: Where Have All the Sanity Gone?
Dr. McCoy wondered if a bad week is about to get any worse.
He had just fetched or rather dragged Scotty from the Engineer's quarters where Scotty had been recuperating after the whole transporter ordeal.
The Doctor was finally satisfied that Scotty is not bound anymore to collapse in fits of hysterics every time the words: Captain, Mr. Spock, Transporter and Hybrids are mentioned.
It was admittedly very bad when Scotty finally recovered from the MUTE FROM TOTAL SHOCK SYNDROME.
He was yelling incessantly about ghosties and ghoulies and other nonsensical things that terrified nearly half of the crew.
McCoy and the security team had had to haul him into Sickbay and tied him to the nearby post to stop him from going berserk.
The amount of terror and tranquilizer he had used to calm Scotty alone nearly depleted his entire stock.
But the moment Scotty demanded for whiskey the Doctor knows he was cured cause, oh yeah whiskey-for some unknown reason- was one of those words that would drove Scotty to go bat-shit insane when uttered.
Now finally, the Engineer had gone back to his usual normal self although still somewhat pale.
They are on their way to Briefing Room 1 because 'KOCK' (he insists on calling them that personally) had called for a meeting with all the Heads of Departments to discuss uh, some important issues regarding the ship.
Yeah, right.
McCoy knows what the actual crisis actually is of course.
So after having to persuade (threatened might be near the mark) Scotty to join them; the CE is still traumatized, they're here and the door swished open:
To what appeared to be a beginning of a pandemonium.
Chekov, Sulu and Uhura are apparently participants of the ensuing insanity.
'What the hell happened here?' McCoy asked not really wanting to know the answer.
They promptly pointed to the unresponsive Captain/First Officer.
It's just his freaking luck lately.
If it wasn't crazy Klingons it would be some other crazy person out to ruin his day.
Currently it seemed it's the season for crazy colleagues overload.
The Doctor rolled his eyes.
Since McCoy knows that there is nothing mortally wrong with them personally, he would have preferred to leave them at it.
After all, they still owe him big time for the nerve-pinching (Damn you 'KOCK'!).
But well, he is after all, a Doctor not a torturer so he decided to help.
'Up and at it GENTLEMEN!'
No response.
He waved a hand in front of the still face.
No response.
'Er, I already tried that Doctor.'
A smart aleck hm…
McCoy turned an evil glare to the responsible person.
Chekov closed his mouth with a snap.
OK then.
'RED ALERT! KLINGON ATTACK!'
Yeah that ought to do the trick.
And it did.
The eyes blinked and…
'GUH!'
'Where's the attack?'
GOD-DAMNIT!
'Get off me!!!'
Apparently the Doctor was the victim of stampeding Kirk/Spock (KOCK!) hybrid who had been suitably alerted by McCoy's screamed.
McCoy wondered what he had done in his past life to make him deserve all this craziness.
So when everything had settled down (NO! We are NOT under attack) and McCoy had recovered his wits (he seemed to be losing it a lot lately), the meeting FINALLY took place.
It took them nearly an hour just to settle on the actual account of what really happened on that fateful transporter incident.
Scotty had been very eager to share his experience and he had very good listeners and it would have gone on and on until Kirk/Spock whatever had had to threatened all of them with threats of court-martial from insubordination.
None of them took the threat seriously however.
And the meeting went on for a very long time.
After everyone had eventually contributed (mostly useless) suggestions and comments; Sulu suggested meditation and acupuncture which Spock found to be 'fascinating' while Kirk decided it to be ridiculous (Kirk hated meditations and needles!) they finally derived to the thus conclusions:
The good news is: Kirk/Spock whatever is in good health physically (mentally still undetermined) and that their anatomies and physiologies had inexplicably been fused so perfectly that they appear to be normal.
The bad news is: They have no idea how to separate them.
Which is kind of the point of the meeting in the first place.
Doom.
Scotty (really, really not his lucky day either) had been tasked to seek for the answer.
The prognosis isn't good.
Curiosity.
Everything that Human had achieved so far had begun with the simple act of curiosity.
Currently Kirk is curiously fixated with his/Spock's chest.
After the meeting was over, they had gone back to Kirk's quarters (ooh) to get themselves clean.
They had argued about what kind of shower to take (sonar/water) that Kirk had won (it's great to be the Captain at a time like this).
Spock had responded with the Vulcan equivalent of a sulk.
He had clammed up and refused any thoughts or feelings to filter to Kirk at all.
Effectively Kirk had been given the silent treatment.
They had showered in silence and Kirk tried really hard to restrain himself from thinking or doing anything embarrassing.
But he found that that his wall of restrain (Kirk? RESTRAINED? HAHAHAHAHA!!!) is about to crumble.
He found himself mesmerized by the chest.
Yes that's right.
The chest.
He ran a hand down the muscled chest feeling the softly tufted hair covering it.
Correction:
Kirk ran a hand slowly in a near caress (or was it a blatant one?) down the muscled chest and enjoying the feel of the softly tufted hair covering it.
Beside him, inside him (no-don't go there Kirk), Spock's thoughts are a jumble.
Which is extremely unnatural for Spock.
Kirk obviously noticed this and resumed his current extra-curricular activity.
Slow and sensually.
Oh yeah.
Payback time for the incessant teasing Spock had done to him earlier.
Now, who's yer daddy Spock?
[What are you doing Captain?]
Now, now-isn't that a slight slur in that speech?
[Admiring my own beauty Spock]
Let it not be said that James T. Kirk can't do devious like the best of them.
[That is my chest Captain]
[Oh yeah?]
[Yes]
[How can you be so sure?]
[The many number of times I have seen you flaunting yourself bodily in front of the crew. I have observed that you do not possess of any hair follicle around the chest in all those sightings]
Kirk found himself to be very interested in that observation.
[Oh? So you were paying attention then Spock?]
No response either verbally or mentally.
[Auw c'mon-you're no fun Spock]
[This isn't supposed to be 'fun' Captain]
A paused before Spock added as if it was an afterthought:
[And I would prefer it if you cease with the touching]
WOW.
Definitely a slur this time.
[Auw why not Spock?]
[Because it is not appropriate behaviour Captain]
Kirk can feel Spock squirming uncomfortably.
He loves making Spock squirm.
So he continued with his ministrations.
[I said stop it, Captain]
[Oh come on. Don't tell me you don't enjoy it, Spock]
[I do not 'enjoy' such things. SIR]
What's this?
Denial eh?
We'll see about that.
Kirk proceeded to slowly lead his hand to trail southwards.
To the groove of the navel.
A tease here.
A caress there.
A touch everywhere…
Well, Kirk is Seduction personified (if he does say so himself).
His boldness grew at the pleasure he can clearly sense the Vulcan is emanating and he grinned devilishly at the bold and utterly foolish attempt to conceal it.
[Give it up Spock]
[I Do…Do not understand your meaning Captain]
[Incoherent Mr. Spock?]
No answer.
Alright.
Time to play dirty.
Literally and Metaphorically.
Kirk directed his/Spock's WHATEVER fingers still southwards until he reached an area where…
[NO CAPTAIN!]
Apparently Spock had decided that enough is enough and stayed the hand Kirk is using at the wrist with the other hand.
Uh, this is like so awkward.
[Let go Spock]
Kirk is annoyed that Spock could be such a spoilsport.
[I am no such thing Captain and I demand you to cease with this FOOLISHNESS]
Slap.
Auw.
That kinda hurt Kirk's ego a bit.
And yes, he has a DAMN big one.
Ego, that is not er, never mind.
'But it's my body too!' Kirk protested aloud.
'Maybe. But you are taking advantage of the situation Captain,' Spock said equally stubbornly.
Kirk is angry, he is so very angry at Spock right now that he could just…
[Just what Captain? Do finish with your trail of thoughts]
Damn Spock and his Vulcan ego.
Apparently Spock's is BIGGER than Kirk's.
EGO THAT IS.
Suddenly as their eyes locked into the mirror image of themselves in the mirror, soberness entered Kirk's subconscious.
Looking at him/Spock through the mirror now; the image proved to be simultaneously candid and creepy at the same time.
It looked like an insane person trying to reason with himself.
The image looked crazy.
Uh oh.
Suddenly Kirk stopped all the ministrations as a single most terrifying thought flew across his mind and bounced to Spock's side of the shared consciousness.
'What if we can never be separated?'
To Be Continued…
'Kay that was rather awkward huh? So how did it go?
Should I attempt more of this not-so-innocent encounter between these two?
REVIEW/COMMENT/C ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM WELCOMED!