Captain Spirk
Disclaimer: I own a pet tribble named Spirky.
Summary: Psychological evaluation with Dr. McCoy = Fun…NOT!
A/N: Oh my, I am so TERRIBLY SORRY for the delay in this posting. Life's been kinda hectic (raising a baby daughter does that to you-sigh) and couldn't find the time to write. I'll try to post as regularly as I can (promise!) and THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for all the lovely reviews and support you guys. I've gotten the most review for the Chapter 5 and I think I do know why (XD), but really: THANK YOU. Can't say that enough.
I personally think that this chapter is a bit lacking on the humour. But I'm just getting warm up for the juicy chapter next! (heheh)
Please enjoy!
Chapter 6: A Little Less Conversation
Scotty swears that he will be emotionally scarred for life.
Even now he is still having nightmares about that fateful (bloody unnatural!) transporter incident.
He initially thought that he should attend counselling and therapy to get over his fright (and what a fright it was too).
That was until he caught the over eager look upon Doctor McCoy's face the moment he entered Sickbay.
The Doctor was wearing the same look that Scotty had imagined the Tudors' sported when they have a mind to torture or behead someone (Scotty is a private history buff) and decided that he valued his private life and dignity thank you very much.
Bloody hell, even the wrath of Henry the VIII was kinder than this!
Having nightmares about two-headed commanding officers was a much more preferable fate than surrendering his soul to the in depth psychological analysis by Doctor McCoy.
Scotty was only saved by the urgent call he received from Engineering.
Talk about good timing.
He'd have to thank the crew for that save with a bottle of Scotch later.
He excused himself in an instant (without even asking permission).
He'd tried to hide his relieve from the irritated Doctor but was only partially successful.
As Scotty made a hasty dash for freedom from the long 'counselling' session McCoy had arranged to rectify any psychological damage from the stresses of recent events, a forlorn figure stood by the door and is slowly inching towards the exit and…
'AHEM!'
'Where do you think you're going?'
Doom.
McCoy had spotted his/Spock feeble escape attempt.
And the Doctor is not pleased.
Uh oh.
'Well, since Scotty had decided to flee the room-I'd catch him for a personal session later-I can solely divide my full attention to your psychological evaluation.
Kirk groaned inwardly and Spock feigned nonchalance.
[We're in for it now Spock. He's in a foul mood]
[When does Doctor McCoy not in a foul mood Captain?]
Kirk had to agree that Spock had a point but now they needed a plan.
If they are to get out of here with their dignities intact.
Or rather, with his own intact, or whatever Kirk.
[We'd need cooperation to get away from this alive, Spock]
[Alive? You do not mean that the Doctor would wish to have us slain Captain]
Kirk felt a little bug called annoyance climbed all over him again.
OK. Stay calm Kirk.
Let's try this again.
Because right now, he really needed Spock to be cooperative.
[Spock just look at him. He'd try to force every single trauma from your childhood until whenever just for the sake of it! Do you really want him to know about your sexual preference and that kinda nonsense?]
Spock contemplated Kirk's words carefully.
Eventually he agreed.
[I do believe you have a point Captain. We shall work together to prevent Doctor McCoy from asking us unnecessary information not pertinent to our condition]
Kirk felt his heart soared.
Hey they do agree on some things.
And he had decided that made him REALLY happy.
'AHEM.'
Apparently Bones is very determined to be annoying today.
Incredibly so is Spock.
'Are you having trouble with your larynx Doctor? I would suggest one of those throat lozenges to remedy the condition.' Spock intoned calmly.
McCoy's eyes narrowed.
Spock was deadpanned about the entire situation.
And even though Kirk thought that Spock had just worsened the situation with his smart aleck remark, Kirk could not help but laugh.
Because a sarcastic Spock is inexplicably-to him anyway-extremely adorable.
Don't ask him why.
But he laughed.
Since Spock is unfortunately/fortunately sharing a body with him, the Vulcan was similarly forced to laugh as well.
'HAHAHAHA!!!-Stop it Cap-OH HAHAHAHAHA! Stop!'
Obviously Kirk was laughing and Spock was trying to stop him.
From an outsider looking in; it definitely looked insane to say the least.
McCoy was of course, the witness to the whole incident.
Knowing Bones, Kirk is absolutely positive that this incident will stored to be used against him/Spock at a later date.
'Alright, stop laughing Jim! And I supposed you'd learned a lesson for your smart mouth eh Spock?'
That calmed Kirk down and he felt Spock beside him/inside him (REALLY don't go there Kirk) reigned in his emotion as well.
Hm.
Spock?
Emotion?
Oh no.
Suddenly he felt rather sorry for the Vulcan; having to experience such a release of emotion that is otherwise foreign for him.
Hey contrary to popular beliefs Kirk is not entirely a bastard.
[Sorry Spock]
Kirk tried to imagine wrapping his affection in a ball and sending it to Spock.
Seriously, never be said that J.T.K can't do sweet either.
[Apologies are illogical Captain, but I accept it]
What didja know…it worked too.
He felt Spock's amusement and gratitude in their link.
And Kirk felt his heart soared AGAIN.
'Really, if you're both not going to start paying attention, we could be here all day.'
CRASH.
Kirk's soaring heart just plummeted.
DAMNIT!
'Gee, thanks Bones,' Kirk said.
Gosh.
[Captain, why are you thanking Doctor McCoy?]
Kirk sighed inwardly.
[Never mind Spock]
And thus begins the counselling session according to Doctor Leonard McCoy.
Or rather the interrogation session to Kirk/Spock.
They (meaning Kirk/Spock whatever) take turns answering questions asked by the Doctor.
Basically it went rather like so:
Dr. McCoy: What is your favourite colour?
Kirk: Erm, blue? I mean everyone likes the colour blue right?
McCoy snorted at the answer.
Dr. McCoy: That's a very boring and unimaginative answer Jim. I expected more from you. Spock?
Spock: Yes Doctor.
Silence.
McCoy: Answer my question please.
Spock: You have not asked me one Doctor.
Oh dear.
Looks like the Doctor has a tough nut to crack.
McCoy (through gritted teeth): I was asking about your favourite colour Spock.
Spock: Do I really need to choose one Doctor? I do have a propensity towards several colours in fact.
Kirk sniggered inwardly; Spock is back to his calm unruffled self.
McCoy however was not amused.
But they continued:
McCoy: Just give a colour you like the most you hobgoblin.
Spock: The question is illogical Doctor; why do I need to have preference over something such as colour?
Kirk really snorted this time.
Only the sharing of a body with Spock prevented it from being manifested properly.
Spock was openly projecting amusement to him.
Kirk returned in kind, enjoying this unfamiliar rapport with the Vulcan
[You're doing awesome Spock!]
He cheered for his First Officer.
[I'm glad you approve Captain]
McCoy tried really REALLY hard to keep his cool this time.
It was a heroic effort considering the subject is Leonard McCoy.
He would've blown his top earlier but for the memory of the previous nerve-pinching.
The Doctor decided to be civil.
For now.
So on went the session:
McCoy: Fine then, be like that Spock; I'll have it on my record I will.
Silence.
McCoy rolled his eyes.
He glared at them once for effect.
It did not bring the Doctor's desired outcome.
McCoy's teeth will soon turned to powder if he persists with the continuous grinding.
McCoy: Next question.
Both K/S wondered what new ridiculousness McCoy can come up with next.
They had a thoroughly enjoyable time at the expense of the good Doctor.
But perhaps they have underestimated Bones interrogative talent.
Because the Doctor is not about to let them go so easily.
Not a chance…
To be Continued…
If you have watched TOS; there are plenty of hints that the C Doctor is well aware of the true nature of the relationship between Kirk and Spock. I'm experimenting with it. This is only the beginning of the juicy stuff. I think we all know how evil Bones can be.
He's bad to the bones!
Sorry for the cheap pun.
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