LINES
CHAPTER 4
That night she made a pallet by the fire. The bus and RV were full up. They put the kids, Beth, Carl, and Rick in the RV. Tara and Lilly slept in the grey station wagon. Glenn and Maggie slept on top of the RV together. Tyreese kept watch and everyone else slept on the bus. Daryl hadn't returned yet. She knew he would though. She gazed into the flames, bundled into her jacket. So many things had happened that day and fatigue had caught up to her. As she started to drift off, she felt another presence sit down behind her. She knew it was Daryl and her body was abuzz at the proximity to him. The familiar excitement that always came when she was close to him showed up and she had to push it down. She didn't think she would ever be able to get over her body's reaction to his presence. She needed to, but she didn't think it would happen. As she drifted off she could feel his gaze on her.
When she woke up he was gone. She slowly sat up and looked around. The sun was cresting over the sky and she marveled at the beauty of it. In a world with horrible zombies the beauty of the world was still ever present. Glenn and Maggie had started to dole out food for everyone to have. She stood up and stretched, her body cracking as she did. Daryl stepped over and handed her an apple. She smiled and took it from him.
"You ready to go?" He questioned. She nodded, taking a bite out of her apple. Glancing toward the RV she shot him a questioning gaze.
"He's not up yet. Best get on and face him when we get back." Daryl said. Carol nodded and went to gather her things. They unloaded the rest of the supplies from the back of the car.
"Be careful guys." Glenn said. They both nodded and waved. "We'll be back soon." Carol spoke, getting into the passenger seat.
As they rode down the road, the silence was deafening. Carol glanced at him out of the side of her eye. He was chewing on this lip like he always did. She smiled at the familiar sight. "So, what happened yesterday?" She asked.
"Governor showed up. Wanted the prison for himself. He killed Hershel. Shit went to hell. Gunfire, tanks, explosions… fucking crazy. We all had to split up. Me and Beth ended up separated. We came across Carl and Rick soon after. Rick was shot, bleeding out, and hysterical about Judith. Slowly made our way to the meeting point. Hoping to god there were others there."
She swallowed, looking out the window. "I heard the gunshots and explosions…I came at the end. Ran into Tyreese and the kids. Judith was…almost dead." She spoke softly, chocking up.
"You did good. Saving Judith like you did." He spoke gruffly, eyes on the road. She shook her head.
"No, I would have done good if I had been there. Been there to protect her to begin with. Kept her safe."
They kept silent for the rest of the ride. They drove up and pulled to a stop when the prison came into sight. Walkers had moved up and could be seen wondering through the prison yard. Daryl and Carol both stared at the overrun prison in sadness. Their home was gone.
"Come on." Daryl spoke, walking off, bow at the ready. Carol followed close behind keeping watch all around. They made it to the field and when they came to Hershel's body, she cried out in horror. His head had been completely separated from his body. Grief overwhelmed her as memories of the kind man flew through her mind. She couldn't connect the image of him smiling and laughing with her to this body that lay before her. She turned and gagged, vomit threatening to come up. Daryl walked around the body, hand over mouth. He looked at Carol, expression hard and full of rage. "Let's do this and get back."
They quickly wrapped his body the best way they could in a few blankets and loaded it in the back of the car. Carol struggled with the heavy weight and heavy motions as she held her friend's body. Daryl ended up doing most of the heavy lifting. As Daryl closed the trunk door she walked to the side and began crying.
"Did you do it?" He questioned loudly. She turned around, facing him. The moment to talk was now as he stared at her, eyes accusing. She stood up straight and nodded. He advanced towards her, finger pointed. "No. That ain't you. You didn't." He yelled coming to stop in front of her, his movements angry.
"I did. I killed Karen and David." She spoke softly. He back up in shock and dread filled her at the distance he put between them. He turned around, running his hands over his head. She wrapped her arms around her body.
"Why the fuck did you? You shoulda come to me. To me! They were our group! They didn't deserve to die like that!" He raged at her.
"I know that!" She yelled. "I know. I made a fucking awful decision. I know okay? They weren't gonna make it through the night. All I could think of was the baby getting sick, or the other kids, or YOU! I was afraid. I thought I could end it quick for them and protect the rest of us!"
"But you didn't! They still got sick! People died! Lizzie, Glenn almost died! You didn't protect us!" He screamed. She flew at him, banging her hand on his chest. "I know! Damn you. I know!" She hit his chest again and he stood there like a statue letting her. "And I was sent away. I wasn't there and I could have helped when ya'll were attacked." She turned away, bringing her hands to her face as tears poured down. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She cried into her hands for a few minutes. His hand came to rest on her shoulder lightly. She turned back to him and she hated that she couldn't tell what he was thinking.
"Let's get back. Okay?" He asked her softly. She nodded, wiping the tears away and returning to the car.
On the way back she stared out the window. She couldn't look at him. The unknown of what he was thinking of her kept her looking out. Suddenly he reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. She looked to him and he looked back at her intensely.
"I thought I'd never see ya again." He spoke and then turned back to the road. She squeezed his hand.
"Me too." She replied sadly. More minutes of silences passed and she pulled her hand away before she spoke again.
"I'm gonna tell Tyreese, everybody, the truth." She told him. He pulled up, stopping the car and turned to her, question in his eyes.
"I have to. It's the right thing. I'm done doing the wrong thing and telling him is what I need to do. I'll accept the consequences." She said. He gazed at her for a few moments before turning back and pressing the car forward.
"I'm not letting ya go off alone. Not again." He looked at her. "Whatever happens." At his words she smiled, appreciation for his words in her gaze.
They made it back to the camp and Carol let Tyreese and Glenn help Daryl with Hershel's body. She went to Maggie and Beth who had approached and pull them both in for a hug. Maggie looked at Carol. "Thank you for going." She spoke. Carol smiled. "Of course." She replied, running her hand down Beth's pony tail and leaving the girls to themselves.
Walking towards the RV she came to a halt. Rick stood against the RV with Judith in his arms. He ran his hands over her hair, staring intently down at the baby. He looked up at her and time froze. Carol shifted nervously as he stared her down. He kicked off the wall of the RV and walked over to her. She stared back, not breaking her ground. He stopped close to her and looked back down at Judith. Carol could tell he was fighting back tears. "Thank you." He whispered quickly before turning and walking off. Carol watched him go sadly.
The next hour found the group out in the field, gathered around Hershel's grave. Three rocks were placed on top as a marker. Maggie held Beth in her arms and Glenn stood behind them, one hand on each of their shoulders. Carl held Judith close by. Sasha and Bob stood to the side with Ms. Mcleod and Jeannette, some of the last remaining Woodbury survivors. Tyreese and Carol both stood with Lizzie, Mika, Luke, and Molly between them. Daryl stood a few feet behind Carol. Lilly and Tara wandered up slowly, taking the spot furthest in the back. Rick stood in front of them, leaning on a makeshift crutch, fighting back tears.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry this happened." Rick spoke, looking at Beth and Maggie. He tried to speak again, but words failed him. Beth suddenly broke free from her sister and walked to him. She placed her hand on his arm. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I have something to say." He nodded. She turned to the group. Wiping a tear away she started to softly sing.
One of these days I'm going home.
Never more down here to roam.
I'll go sailing far beyond the sky.
When I take my final flight someday.
I'm going home, praise God, home at last.
I'm going home, when on earth the trials are past
No more worries, no more woes
Nothing but beauty and joys are told.
I'm going home, I'm home at last.
Her song ended and she turned to the sky. "Goodbye daddy." She whispered. The group slowly dispersed. Glenn led Maggie away and Beth followed close behind. Daryl, Carol, and Rick stayed behind.
"Carol... I never thought I'd see you again." Rick told her. Daryl scoffed. The same words Daryl had spoken to her earlier left a bitter taste in her mouth coming from Rick. A flash of anger filled her.
"And who's fault is that?" Daryl asked roughly. Carol raised her hand to Daryl. "Daryl, its okay let me talk to Rick. This is between us." She said. Daryl shook his head. "No, its between all of us!" He yelled.
"Look stop! I don't want to fight." Rick said raising his arms up. "I'm sorry okay. I know I shouldn't have sent you away. It wasn't my decision to make. I know that now. I was angry. And afraid. I never expected something like that from you. I didn't know who you were anymore." She closed her eyes sadly.
"I'm still me Rick." She told him sadly. "I can't change what I did."
"I know you can't, but I'm so fucking mad at you Carol. And I can't trust you." He told her firmly. She looked down. To the side, Daryl shuffled angrily. "But I won't tell Tyreese. We can keep this to ourselves. There are no words to tell you how appreciative I am for what you did for Judith. And for me. I know you care about the group, but you crossed a line. A line that should never be crossed for us. Do you understand that?"
Carol nodded her head. "Yes I do. But you have to know something. I'm not going to change who I've become. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm not afraid anymore. That's who I am now. I know what I did was wrong. And I'm done running from the consequences of my actions. I'm going to tell the group what I did. Today."
"You're prepared for the blowback?" He asked. "I'm prepared for whatever the group wants to do." She spoke. He nodded and slowly started to hobble back to the camp. She went to follow but Daryl pulled her arm.
He looked at her intensely and she fought the familiar rush of warmth that came under his stare.
"Don't worry." She told him. He smirked. "How do ya know that's what I'm thinking?" He asked. She shrugged and gave him a small smile. "I know you." She replied. She turned to go but he stepped in front of her.
"Got something for ya." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small green stone. He handed it to her and she looked down at it. Uncertainty in her gaze she looked up at him. "It's a jasper stone…I found it on the run."
"It's lovely. Why me?" She asked. He bit his thumb, something he did when he was nervous. "Growin up I liked to collect rocks and stuff… liked to know their meanin. I read that these stones bring healing and nourish the spirit. When they form this single green color they are said to be the most rare and prized. Saw it and thought you might like it…" She grinned softly staring at the stone.
"Thank you." She whispered. "It's nothing. It's stupid." He spoke walking off. She caught up with him, clutching the jasper stone.
"No, it's not. I love it. Really." She said. He nodded and spoke. "Glad. Now come on woman lets go. Got a lot to do."