The first week of Takao's summer school is disappointingly boring.
Disappointingly because the first day had been anything but boring, a promise of things to come and adventure and Takao not leading the most boring life in the universe anymore! ...Unfortunately, the first day's promises were a lie. Just like the cake. (The cake, in Takao's family, is always a lie, mostly because his grandfather can't bake to save his life but refuses to buy something that he can supposedly cook perfectly fine on his own, resulting in the kitchen being a horrible mess and a giant rock that tries to pass as a cake. Like fruit cake, but even more disgusting, basically. Takao isn't allowed to buy a cake, either, and his own attempts at baking cakes ended up only slightly less inedible than his grandfather's attempts. It's not Takao's fault, anyway -- anyone could mix up the sugar and salt, or less dramatically baking soda and baking powder... etc.)
Regardless-- the week was boring. Takao hasn't really attempted to talk to Kai all that much -- the few times he did try he was completely ignored, which, while not all that surprising, is still pretty jarring. So the week was spent with Takao working in one corner of the classroom and Kai . . . looking outside the window/sleeping/whatever it is he does in the other corner and Tao being... himself. At least that doesn't involve him stalking Takao all over the school during lunch anymore.
The most eventful thing that happened was Takao finally gathering the guts to shoot a 'hi' at Kai as he was passing by Kai's favorite river-glaring spot (not watching, not staring, but really glaring, and Takao wonders what the hell the water ever did to Kai). The event was not Takao saying hi so much as Kai sort-of-almost-maybe casually waving at Takao, as if saying hi back.
... When Takao said his week was boring, he meant it was mind-numbing. He never wants to see another math or science formula ever again.
Luckily for him, Tao has something planned that should definitely make his second week of summer school a little more ... entertaining.
(Takao considers this more like bad luck, but he's not allowed an opinion.)
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
It starts off as a normal morning.
Takao is failing to concentrate on his eight billionth math problem (if a number was increased by a factor of 7, then increased by 8, what is the total if the original number was 4... Wait, does that mean add or multiply???), Kai is staring out the window (Takao demands to know what is so interesting about that bloody window, because all he ever sees out there are some seagulls and kids with no summer school playing far away from the school grounds... And clouds, who are actually pretty awesome to watch, Takao admits.) and Tao is alternating being drunk and being absent. Currently, he is absent. And probably drunk too, but if Takao can't see him he can at least believe the guy sobers up now and then.
Takao is full of blinding optimism, okay.
"Good morning, young mole crickets!" Tao exclaims loudly as he suddenly appears in the classroom. He ignores the clatterclatterbang that is Takao jumping out of sheer fear, clutching his heart as if having a heart attack and falling out of his chair only to have it fall half on him, causing a loud whimper from the boy.
Kai, for his part, simply turns his head to look at Tao in a slightly deadpan expression that probably means either 'what do you want', 'I am not a mole cricket' or 'it's one thirty in the afternoon, not morning'. Possibly a healthy mix of all three combined with 'look at that loser on the floor'.
Stupid Kai who isn't scared of magically appearing midget ninja. The door was closed! Closed! There should be noise when it opens! Footsteps! Anything!!!! Aaaaaaaaaargh!!
"I have a special announcement for you young social beetles. I am giving you a collaborative enterprise, that might involve research or design, and is carefully planned to achieve a particular aim!" Tao continues brightly, completely ignoring his two students.
Takao, currently in the process of untangling his legs, the chair and the desk, looks at Tao in complete incomprehension. A quick glance at Kai shows that the other boy is frowning, but whether that means he understands or not is completely up in the air, considering Kai generally frowns at everything. He must be a killer at birthday parties.
Tao, seemingly waiting for either of his students to have a verbal or physical reaction to his wonderful news, stands still, smiling brightly. Takao wishes he wouldn't do that. His smile is creepy.
Takao manages to raise himself and his chair back up and sits on it gingerly, his butt and legs still horribly sore thanks to the combination of hard floors and metal chairs falling on him. Once this is done, he decides he might as well ask, because Kai sure isn't going to. And if neither of them do anything, Tao will stay there, smiling creepily until the bell rings.
It would be terrifying, and Takao really doesn't need added nightmare fuel.
"Uh, what?" Takao asks, making sure to inflect the what to demonstrate he has no idea what the hell is going on in Tao's head and whether or not this is the results of too many drugs or not enough. (Senile old man.)
"I am assigning you a wonderful project," Tao expands, ignoring Takao's horrified face as he realizes that he would have been better off with Tao smiling creepily for two hours. "Now, this is a team project, but don't worry, my delightful hummingbirds; I'm willing to let you choose your own partners!"
There is a pause as Takao lets that statement sink in before complaining about it. Kai seems to share Takao's pain for once, at least, considering his completely 'fuck the what?' face.
"... There's only two of us," he deadpans, but Tao shushes him halfway through his sentence.
"Now, now, Kinomaya Takao--" Takao interrupts here with a 'it's KINOMIYA' that Tao completely ignores, even though the man knows this and clearly only says otherwise to infuriate Takao-- "What have I said about talking without raising your hand first? If everyone speaks at once without asking permission, I won't be able to understand any of you!"
Takao takes a deep breath to stop himself from responding something like 'yeah like Kai ever talks' or repeating 'THERE IS ONLY TWO OF US' in a very, very loud voice. Instead, he raises his hand calmly, like a sane person. Which he is, especially compared to Tao.
"Yes, Takao~?" Tao prompts happily once his hand has been up in the air for half a minute.
"There's only two of us," Takao repeats, stressing the last part of the sentence. "That's not a heck of a lot of choice for partners."
Tao looks bemused at this. "Well, at least you won't be torn between two friends! It looks like you and Kai will have to work together on this. Ohohohoho..."
"You're kidding," Kai protests, proving that he has a voice for the first time in, like, a week.
"I wish he was," Takao bemoans.
Tao ignores both of them completely. He looks like he is enjoying this, even, and considering how much of a crazy sadist drunk midget he is, Takao is rather certain he's actually having the time of his life. Ugh.
"Not to worry, my little coconuts of learning!" (At this point, both Takao and Kai make an identically disgusted face, though in Takao's case it is slightly more horrified and in Kai's slightly more murderous.) "Your project is not a hard one! In fact, it is something every child your age should know how to do!" (Takao half-heartedly protests at being called a 'child' mentally, and from Kai's expression he is protesting it inside so badly it's a wonder Tao hasn't melted from the sheer force of Kai's glare. Terrifying.) "You will... Build a volcano!"
Takao's completely dumbfounded expression says it all, really. There's a long silence in the classroom. A cricket chirps.
Takao jumps backwards and out of his chair, because the cricket was right on his desk. W-what's with all the stupid crickets in this school, anyway?! And how did he get on Takao's desk without him noticing? ... And damn, it was on his stuff. If he squashed it now, it would put bug innards all over his math book. Hmm. Conflict.
Kai throws him a look. "Scared of a little bug?" He drawls, sitting at his perfectly cricket free desk, the stupid lucky bastard. Takao makes a face at him, sticking out his tongue.
"I just don't like your family members," Takao answers cheekily, wondering belatedly if he was going to die for his comment. ... There is a strong possibility. Hm.
Fuck.
Kai only snorts, however, and just as he retorts Tao yells out loudly, suddenly next to Takao's desk and holding the cricket:
"Oooh, Jiminy! Now, now, back in the pouch with you, it's not snack time yet."
Takao is torn between trying to figure out what Kai said (he only heard something vaguely similar to 'makes both of us', but that doesn't make sense -- Kai, agreeing with him? No way!) and wondering just whose snack time includes letting the cricket out.
Ew.
Though that does explain the sudden over-abundance of crickets in this school...
"A-anyway," Takao tries to start, standing clear of his desk still because he really, really hates crickets. "About this... volcano project..."
"Hmmm yes? Is there a question~?" Tao interrupts, beaming up at him.
Takao arranges the cap on his head slightly out of a nervous habit, because Tao beaming looks kind of like a serial killer smiling at his future victims. Ergh. "We don't need to be two to make a volcano. I mean, pretty much any idiot can do it on their own..."
"Guess you're not just any idiot, since you need my help," Kai mutters from his corner of the classroom, and Takao glares at him, cheeks puffed out.
"I totally heard that!"
Tao shushes him. "Calm down, my overly excited chipmunks," ("I am NOT a chipmunk!" Takao huffs, and Kai deadpans a: "Could've fooled me...") "Now, it seems I over-underestimated your abilities and need to think up a new project for you both that is not so easy. Though I did want a volcano very badly... Sadly, you can't have it all in life!"
Takao realizes that he should've shut up and stuck with the stupid volcano idea, instead of playing the part of the nerd pointing out flaws and getting beat up by the rest of the classmates for it. Also, that over-underestimated sounds really, really stupid.
Kai, at least, doesn't look like he'll beat up Takao after school. Or murder him. Maybe Takao's lucky and the guy hates volcanoes. ... Also, pigs will fly and Takao will go crossdressing with Tao on weekends. Sigh.
It's more likely due to Kai being Kai and having no caring capacities whatsoever. Robot.
"You will do a research on a psychological disorder!" Tao announces brightly, for once not causing Takao a giant heart attack. "I leave which one up to your choosing, of course~ All the details are on this convenient paper sheet Principle Daitenji gave me this morning, my little bugsies! Now, go forth. Class is dismissed early so you can start working early on it. No need to thank me, I know you are eternally grateful! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
With that, Tao leaves the classroom with a bounce in his step, Kai and Takao staring after him.
"... Wait, he had the assignment sheet this whole time--?" Takao questions uselessly, and Kai gives what sounds like a long-suffering sigh.
This will be the start of such a wonderful partnership.
(Or not.)
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Kai doesn't wait for Takao to leave the classroom, forcing the other boy to just throw his stuff in his bag (including the assignment sheet, who was totally ignored by Kai as he stalked past it) in the quickest possible way before running off after him.
"Hey -- hey, wait up!" Takao calls out, running until he catches up to Kai (who, while he didn't stop, at least didn't walk faster). "So, um -- where and how do we do this research thing? Your place or..."
Kai stops abruptly, right before the school doors, and Takao tries to do it too but instead rams right into them. Ow. Owwwww. That... that was so not comfortable.
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
"Ow," Takao mumbles aloud, small red birds flying around his head and laughing at him. Wait. "... Th'doors made me turn into a cartoon character..."
Kai throws him a look. "What?"
Takao shakes his head -- which, while painful, at least made his sudden hallucinations go away. "N-nothing. Uuurgh. Warn a guy when you do that, will you?"
"Whatever," Kai mutters, "You're not going anywhere near my house, and vice-versa. We're going to do the research some place else."
Takao blinks at him blankly. "... School?"
"Yeah, that's why I'm standing right next to the doors leading outside of it," Kai deadpans, motioning to the evil, evil hurting doors with a thumb. Takao grumbles. It's not his fault the doors mad him stupid! Besides, there's no other place to do school work, is there?
"Shut up I have brain damage," Takao whines pitifully.
"I can believe that," Kai answers blankly, opening one door and going outside, expecting Takao to follow like his dog or something. Well, if he thinks Takao is that kind of guy, he is sorely mistaken!
...
He waits three seconds and follows outside, opening the other door to do it. So there. He made a stand.
Look, it's not like he could've done anything else. He certainly wasn't going to stay in the school, and he kind of needed Kai to do his stupid team project. In a team. A team means two or more people, and since Takao does not have a split personality, Kai is included in the team whether or not he wants to.
He has to run to catch up to Kai again, because apparently three seconds are far longer for Kai than they are for anyone else in this universe.
"Look, just tell me where we're going to do it, if we're going to do it at all since you never do any work, you lazy bas--" Takao's rant is interrupted when Kai stops abruptly, AGAIN, and he bumps into the guy's back.
Ow.
"Don't touch me," Kai grounds out after taking a step forward so Takao is in a reasonable distance from him again.
"Then stop stopping without saying anything! Either walk or don't!" Takao yells back, gesturing wildly. "Just make a choice already!!"
Kai doesn't get a chance to answer Takao, however. Another boy, coming from seemingly out of nowhere (but more likely from, you know, the side of the sidewalk Takao wasn't looking at), suddenly grabs Takao's collar and lifts him up, high in the air.
What is it with people and trying to choke Takao using his shirt??
"He givin' you trouble, Kai?" The guy asks, and Takao takes a moment to appreciate the fact that three other people are behind the guy and that they all look stupider than the other. The guy who is holding him is wearing a bandana and a torn up vest, for crying out loud.
Kai frowns, crossing his arms at the guy. "Hiruta, let go. If he was, I could take care of it on my own."
Takao is dropped back on the floor, and he lands on his feet only because he expected the guy (Hiruta? looks more like a 'Carlos' to him) wouldn't have let go gently. The guy rubs the back of his neck, sheepish.
"S'what we told him, boss," another boy pipes up, this one with purple hair and a very unfortunate haircut. Seriously. Uglyyyy. "But what's the point in having us if we can't serve as back-up now and then?"
Kai rolls his eyes. "I don't need back-up. And I told you, I'm through. Now quit stalking me and get a life."
Takao has no idea what's going on. He stays silent and on the side, not wanting to get in the middle of an argument between Kai and four other guys who could probably overpower him if they worked together. Probably. ...
Then again, Kai IS a robot.
"But Kai--" Hiruta starts, pitifully, looking far less though suddenly. "You can't just abandon us like this! We thought you'd quit middle school, and, and..."
"What kind of loser quits middle school?" Kai interjects. "I'm done. Game's over, the end. Do me a favor and never try to talk to me again."
That said and done, he turns around, grabs Takao by the back of his jacket and drags him away from the scene, where the four guys just stare, horrified, at Kai. Takao blinks owlishly.
"... Uh, what was that about? ... And why are you dragging me?"
Kai stops dragging him abruptly, causing Takao to fall down. He doesn't even stop or apologize, simply goes on.
"It's nothing, now move. We have a research to do."
Takao watches the guys (thugs?) walk away, dejected, before rising and dusting himself off. "Aye aye, captain," Takao mutters.
He has to run to catch up with Kai, but that's nothing new.
"Where are we going, anyway?" Takao asks.
"The library." Kai answers, curt.
"... This city has a library?"
Kai doesn't even bother answering that one.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
It turns out, Bey City does have a library. A rather huge and obvious one. About three blocks away from Takao's middle school, even.
Needless to say, Takao felt pretty dumb when he saw it.
At least now he knows what that big building was.
... Hehe... Eh...
Man, he sucks.
Takao deposits his things on one of the chairs at the furthest table from the entrance where Kai has also put his own things. Takao would say something about 'typical', but really, he'd have picked that table too. So he stays silent and notes how completely empty the library is on a beautiful Monday afternoon in the middle of summer.
Stupid libraries Takao didn't even know existed.
"So, uh, did you have any idea what our subject is going to be...?" Takao asks, and Kai simply grunts in answer. Undeterred, he plows on. "Well, it has to be a psychological disorder, so how about eating disorders? Y'know, anorexia and whatever... There's prolly a lot of material--"
"No," Kai snaps, glaring at him.
Takao blinks. "... Uh. Why not?"
"Does it matter? Find something else."
Wow, talk about Grouch with a capital G. "Okay, whatever... touchy... Geez. It's just a subject. I dunno, schizophrenia? You know, the one where you have multiple personalities?"
Kai stares at him for a while before shaking his head with a sigh, rising. "Forget it. I'll pick one myself. ... And that's dissociative identity disorder, not schizophrenia."
He moves to a section of a library -- Takao doesn't know if there's a 'psychology' section, but he really hopes so. He goes after Kai anyway.
"For a guy who doesn't want to do any work, you sure want to work on this project," Takao mentions casually as they move between the bookshelves, in a direction Kai seems pretty confident of. "... And for a middle school failure, you actually know your stuff."
"Mind your own business," Kai mutters in answer, looking half-mindedly at the shelves upon shelves of books as they pass by them. "Just be glad I'm willing to work with you and shut up."
Takao huffs, rolling his eyes. "Aye aye, sir."
Whatever psychological disorders they end up researching, Takao's sure Kai has the lot of them. (Is there such a thing as 'antisocial personality disorder'? Because Kai has got to be the poster child for it.)
This research is going to be a pain in the butt.
HEY IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK LET'S CALL IN MIRACLE 101!!! :3
Uh, I mean. Hello! Here's chapter 6, to make up for last week's unfunny chapter. This one is supposedly funny. Hurray! Kai gets to have a personality in this one. Are you excited? I'm excited! Tao won't make another appearance for a while (thank God), and there is a lot of stuff that is going to go on in chapter 7 and 8. Yes! Stuff! ACTUALLY HAPPENING! I swear this fic contains a whole lot of nothin'. Err. Hiruta = Carlos in the Japanese version, as Takao was quick to point out. He really DOES look like a Carlos to me... Anyway. Yes, that's all the Bladesharks appearances this fic is going to have. Because I am NOT THAT FOND OF THEM in general. And because Kai quit them previous to the start of this fic, so they can all suck my non-existent -- uh, yes. Regardless! Some more foreshadowing, some more faux-hints, Stufffffff. Etc. Nothing much happens this chapter really.
Also, I have no obsession with crickets whatsoever. Thanks to all who review/fav/ETC. I only answer reviews with questions, however, since generally going THANK YOU repeatedly makes me feel kind of silly. I do read the lot of them and love them very much.
Hope you enjoyed it,
-Zia
(With promises that future chapters will have a little more meat to them.)