A/N: So...much...angst!

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

The steam rose from the cup of decaf coffee in her hand, trailing swirling gray plumes into the chilly evening air. She sipped the decaf white mocha from Stargils, the fingers of her free hand twined with those of her lover's. Kandi glanced over at the silver wizard, feeling her heart speed up just at the sight of him, just from his nearness. She couldn't deny the fact that she cared for Kuja deeply. He was so kind to her, so polite, so loving. He would call her just to tell her he loved her, but he didn't smother her with doting. By giving her the space she needed, he had drawn her in to where she craved every voicemail he left her, every small brush of his fingers against hers, every moment they spent together.

And yet, there was a part of her that wished he was someone else.

"How was your luncheon with Rude today?" Kuja asked, breaking into her confused mind.

She shook her head. "Not that great," she said softly. They stopped and sat on a park bench, snuggled close together to ward off the cold.

"Did he upset you?" Kuja asked darkly, though calmly, something only he could do.

"Maybe a little," she replied turning to face him and drawing her legs up to sit cross legged on the bench. "But it could have just been hormones."

He reached out and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and she couldn't stop the shiver that traveled up her spine at his touch. Kuja smirked at that and trailed his thumb over her bottom lip. "What did he say, Love?" he pried gently.

Kandi sighed and sipped her coffee nervously. "He told me...he loved me," she told him.

If Kuja was shocked, he didn't show it. "Better late than never, I suppose," he replied. "Do you love him in return, little canary?"

"I don't know, Kuja," she answered truthfully. "I'm really confused right now. I talked to Squall after I left Rude and he asked me the same thing. I told him I did. But I also told him I loved you, too."

Kuja smiled at that. "Nothing would bring me greater joy than for that to be true," he told her. "But it would mean nothing if you weren't completely sure of it."

"I know I love being with you," she said, taking his hand in hers. "Just like this or in other ways. You make me feel safe and loved."

"Because you are," he said, tilting her chin up and kissing her gently. He sighed as he stared down at her through half-lidded eyes. "I will always protect and love you. But I think, until you are sure about your feelings, that I need to let you go."

She looked up at that, shock apparent on her face. "What?" she asked. "Let me go? No, Kuja, I don't want that."

Kuja laughed softly. "My little canary," he said softly. "I will never be out of your life. We share a child. But I think, for the time being, that it would be best if we weren't together anymore."

Tears filled her eyes unbidden and once again she cursed her damn hormones. "But I..."

"Does that break your heart, Love?" he asked gently, stroking her hair soothingly.

"Yes," she sobbed, clutching at him. "I can't imagine not being with you."

He kissed her forehead tenderly, pulling her into his arms. "Then I think you already have the answer to the question in your heart," he whispered into her ear. "But to be sure, I release you from my cage, little canary. I love you too much to keep you against your will. If you love me enough, you will return to me. And I will be waiting there for you, with open arms."

Kandi's brow was furrowed as she blinked back her tears. She hated crying. She hated being weak. She hated being confused and she hated this.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Kuja asked gently.

She shook her head and a sat back up, looking at him. "No, I think I'd like to stay here for a bit," she answered softly. "I need to think."

"Will you be all right?" he asked with concern.

Kandi laughed at that. "I'm a Turk and a Guardian, Kuja," she said, pulling her jacket aside to reveal her firearm sitting in her shoulder holster. "What do you think?"

Kuja gave her a heart stopping smile. "I should have known better," he said, kissing her forehead. "Be careful, Love."

She watched him as he walked back toward the Shrine, her butt becoming numb on the cold park bench. But she didn't care. She had some shit to sort out and if sitting on a cold park bench in the cold winter air would do that, then by God, she was going to do it. But, conversely, if she was too damn cold to think, what good would that do?

Okay, shut up temperature gauge and brain functioning, activate. Let's start with the basics. She and Rude had been together for the better part of a year. They had first slept together after a rather viscious mission, where the blood had been ankle deep. That had been a necessary release for the adreneline built up in their bodies. And from that first time, it escalated. They had gone to each other whenever the urge for sex hit them; which, with them, was a frequent occurrence. But they had just been friends with benefits, nothing more.

Until recently. Kandi had begun to feel things for the bald assassin she had never felt before. But she kept her feelings to herself. Why? Because everytime she would try to talk to him about the future, he would shut down and tell her they had a good thing and not to ruin it. But how deepening a good thing into a better thing would be ruining it, still didn't make any sense to her.

And then Rude had left on a mission. She had been lonely and frustrated and miserable when opportunity came knocking. Kuja wanted to use her manipulate materia and Kandi, being the playful, flirtacious thing that she was, asked what she got out of it. Kuja had pulled her into his room with a smirk and gave her more than she bargained for. Not only did he give her the best sex she had ever had, he got her pregnant. Blushing, she giggled and placed her hand on her stomach lovingly. She was glad he had.

What would she have done had the baby been Rude's? The look on his face when he found out she was pregnant said enough about his feelings on the subject. He didn't want kids. He never had. Everytime the subject of children came up, he got this look on his face of pure disgust. He hated children. Reno, oddly enough, was the fatherly one out of the two of them. He would play with kids in the street, roughing them up and laughing with him. Kandi grinned at the thought of the red-head as a father. It wouldn't be a bad thing at all. He would be a great dad.

What if the baby had been Squall's? She laughed at the look he had on his face when he was called into Kagome's office and told his one time lover was pregnant. Of course his seed hadn't taken. She had already been pregnant. But Squall would have been an okay father. He was sweet and she adored him. He was fast becoming one of her best friends.

But Kuja, he was the right man for it. He loved her and was so tender and gentle, she had no doubt that he would be an excellent father. He knew it was his before she knew. Kuja and the baby already had a connection and she smiled at the memory of him on his knees before her, eyes closed tightly and lips ghosting over her stomach. That had been a wonderful sight and it warmed her heart to recall it.

Which was more than she could say about her ass, which was now so cold she couldn't feel it. She needed to get home soon, otherwise, she would become a Turk-cicle on a bench. She started when she felt someone slide in behind her, wrapping their arms around her tightly. She smiled as the familiar scent assailed her nostrils.

"Well, well, pretty pregnant girl's on park benches," the man said into her ear. "What will they think of next?"

She snuggled against his chest, trying to steal all of his warmth. "What are you doing out here, Zacky?" she asked against his coat. "Isn't it passed your bedtime?"

Zack kissed her forehead in a brotherly fashion and produced a bag of ice cream. "My beautiful fiance had a craving," he said. "So, me, being the doting husband to be that I am, braved the chill of night to get her what her heart and stomach desired."

"At least she's being able to eat now," she said, eyeing the ice cream hungrily.

Zack snatched it out of her reach. "This is too cold for you right now," he told her with a laugh. He pulled her to her feet and wrapped her up in his arms again. "Come on. I'll walk you home and get you something warm to drink, okay?"

"Sounds good," she said.

"What are you doing out here by yourself anyway?" he asked, stopping at a hot chocolate cart and getting her a steaming cup. She took it gratefully, revelling in the feel of the heat seeping into her numb fingers. "I thought you were out with Kuja."

"I was," she said. "But, we kinda broke up for a bit and he asked me if I wanted him to walk me home and I said no. I needed to think about some things."

Zack narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean you guys broke up?" he asked.

"Well, not technically," she corrected. "He let me go so I could figure some stuff out."

"Like?"

"Like my feelings for him and for Rude," she answered as they continued walking. Zack arched a black eyebrow at her. "Rude told me he loved me today."

"Oh, I see," Zack said, squeezing her against him tighter. "How's that make you feel?"

"Confused," she said. "I mean, he waited until I was pregnant with another guy's kid and the father of my child said the same thing. I almost feel like he thinks of me as a prize to win, you know?"

"Well, he is competitive," Zack told her. "You know that as well as anyone else. But what about Kuja? How do you feel about him?"

Kandi smiled as she thought of her silver wizard. "I like him," she said. "A lot."

Zack poked her nose and kissed her forehead. "Aw, my little girl is falling in love!" he said with a laugh. He stumbled a little as she shoved him, but regained his balance and hugged her. "Hey, for what it's worth...I'm glad."

"What? You like the freaky wizard who wears a thong?" she teased.

Zack took a deep breath and rubbed her arms briskly, helping to get the warmth back to them. "He treats you with respect," he said softly. He continued hestitantly. "Remember when we first found out you were pregnant and Rude grabbed you and shook you, demanding to know who else you had slept with?"

She lowered her eyes and nodded.

"That...got me," he said harshly. "I was actually scared of what he could do to you. Granted, he's never shown any abusive tendancies before, but you never know what could make him snap. And if or when he does, I don't want it to be against you, you know?"

"I don't think he would, Zack," she said. "I think he was just hurt."

He grunted. "You'd be surprised about the excuses guys make for hurting girls," he said. "A real man would never do that. I've never done that."

"Oh, and you're a real man, huh?" she teased.

"Damn straight," he said with his trademark grin. "And neither has Seph or Reno. Rude...shook you. And the look on his face was just...scary."

"Aw, is my little boy getting protective?" she asked with a smile.

"Over you, yeah," he said with a laugh. "You're the closest thing I have to a sister and I'll be damned if I let anyone hurt you."

Kandi hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Zacky," she said softly. "Thanks for always being my hero."

"Hey, no problem," he said with a peck to her forehead. He took her hand and led her into the warmth of the Shrine. "Now, get back to your room and get in bed. You need to get warm."

"Yes, Sir," she said, rolling her eyes. "Tell Ak I said I'm glad she's eating."

He beamed at that. "Okay!" he said cheerfully. "See ya!"

"Bye, Zacky."

A/N: I love Zack. He and my OC go way back. In this AU, they are best friends and have a brother/sister relationship. But they click so well together! And Kandi is happy that Zack is marrying Akalara. She gets all giddy over it.

Kandi: I do NOT get giddy.

Me: But you're happy.

Kandi: Well, yeah...that's cos I love Zack and Ak and they are good for each other!

Me: You're giddy.

Kandi (drawing gun): NOT GIDDY!

Me: Okay, okay...not giddy. Geez. (offers Twinkie as peace offering)

Kandi: (squeals and takes Twinkie) Thank you!