Captain Spirk
Disclaimer: If it was mine it'll be Amok Time every other episode
A/N: To all the reviewers: YOU GUYS ROCKS. I absolutely appreciate all the kind support and constructive criticisms because I'm learning to write better. And you guys are great for sticking with this story and letting me know your opinions because YOUR opinions matter! THANK YOU ALL! Also, thanks and hello to readers who have put this story as ALERT and FAVOURITE. And lurkers too!
WARNING: Mention about SEX altho nuthin' is happenin' yet.
Chapter 14: This Mad Season
To say that Kirk felt 'strange' and confused would be a gross understatement.
At the moment, he was feeling all of that and more. Unhinged might be near the mark. And Kirk plainly did not like feeling out of control. Especially not the way he was feeling now. Like he was being taken on some goddamn roller-coaster ride with his eyes blind-folded.
Spock wasn't talking. Not to him anyway, although he was able to detect an abnormally agitated stance in Spock's consciousness and thought process. He also recognised the Vulcan's numerous attempts at constructing that mind-wall he's so good at doing when he did not want Kirk prying. And the thing that concerns Kirk was the fact that he wasn't prying; not on purpose anyway and yet…he's still detecting Spock's uncommon thought patterns.
It was as if Spock was not able to hold his emotion under control. Kirk truly wished he knew what that forebodes because it unlikely spelled good news.
'Talk to me Spock.' He'd nearly begged that one time out of sheer concern and his request had gone unheeded. Instead, he'd received various impressions that Spock was actually angry and pissed off at him, for some reason unknown and that somehow Kirk was the cause of all this unpleasantness.
He'd stop asking after that.
For the life of him, even James Kirk who is a very perceptive human being could not figure out Spock's perplexing behaviour.
As a matter of fact, the Vulcan had been actively ignoring contact from him ever since that weird night when Spock had gone all feral and heaty and shit and after that? No contact with Kirk whatsoever. He'd even rebuffed Kirk's attempts at reaching him.
And even more alarming is this; Kirk believed that both Spock and himself had developed some sort of a memory lapse. Case in point: he was honestly telling the truth when he told Bones that he did not remember yelling or scolding Janice Rand, ever. From Spock's surprised countenance, he'd known that Spock did not know about the incident too.
As a matter of fact, it was only Bones' explanation earlier that had helped in explaining the mystery of her official transfer request that he'd received only this morning. And personally, he only vaguely remembered yelling at Ensign Lopez and the subsequent PADD throwing fit that came after that. Amazingly, he thought he sensed Spock's emanating anger throughout that exchange.
Things were growing to be too disturbing for Kirk's taste.
Spock's threatening words to McCoy earlier had shocked Kirk as much as it did the Doctor. And what had made it even more disturbing is the fact that Kirk knows and felt the anger and fury Spock is emanating and fully understood that the Vulcan was indeed capable of delivering his threats too.
What was wrong with Spock or even him for that matter?
If Spock had not been male and not to mention a Vulcan male at that (who knows how sexual problems were with Vulcans), Kirk would have thought that he was PMSing. No matter how illogical that sounds.
Unfortunately, he did not realised how nearly astute that observation was.
They found themselves back in their quarters (Kirk's to be precise) after a tense full medical check-up which they were forced to comply. The scene would have been ugly; Spock was strongly against it to the point of physical aggression and Kirk had had to interject, thankfully to no disastrous results.
And as if all the aforementioned insanity plaguing his life currently wasn't enough, he also had to deal with his inner demons too.
For Kirk, things had gotten terribly out of hand ever since the first moment he found himself being stuck bodily to Spock. This was mostly due to the fact that being around Spock's mind was innately fascinating and mesmerizing in a somewhat strange yet cool way.
He initially thought that he was going to absolutely hate it. He found out that he was absolutely wrong. The fact of the matter remained; Kirk actually loved it. He loved being around Spock. He really did. Even he could not understand himself.
And the fact was that he loved Spock's company very, very much. And from the way things were going, it seemed Spock reciprocate the sentiments too.
To Kirk, this inexplicable closeness he was developing with his First Officer was too good to be true.
Apparently the Universe had decided to prove him right.
Things had taken the turn for the bizarre ever since that particular night when he was feeling incredibly heated and unwell and then weirder things had started to happen.
The dreams had visited him again, worse, more tantalizing and delicious and he found himself almost unwilling to break out of it. It was an addiction-almost- and secretly he had been wishing to relive it again and again as the dream gets more fluid and life-like and the line between fantasy and reality blurred as if to become non-existent.
He did not want Spock to know, did not want for Spock to find out and especially not like this but his mind and the desires seemed to have a mind of their own and he was a willing prisoner at the mercy of their whims and alarmingly, Kirk found that he did not care.
The Spock in his dreams was always thus; strong, demanding, rough and controlling. He took for himself the pleasure of the flesh and left Kirk feeling unclean, soiled and strangely wanting for more. Kirk was always yearning for more and when the waking time comes, he could not brush away the shame he felt for his weakness in the fantasy.
Which was so unlike himself. Kirk never was the one to be handled in love-making. He was always the alpha in the affairs of the sheets and control and possession was his game and he plays to dominate. But never with Spock, never in the twisted, desirous, torturous exchanged Kirk experienced in the realm of his dreamscape.
Darkly, Kirk suspected that it was karma hitting him back for all those one night stands he'd done in the past.
Spock, the real Spock, said nothing of this, if he had even realized what was going on.
On the Vulcan's part, Kirk noticed that since that strange night, Spock had been subdued, caged, an inner struggle that even Kirk can detect. For the most part, Spock's normally unshakeable Vulcan control seemed to be thinning and slipping and crumbling like a wall long laid bare to the enemy's tools and no matter how strong and how diligent, it gave away eventually.
And then came the rage, the overpowering fury that even Kirk for all his anger issues could not even begin to fathom.
All in all, it was definitely an understatement to say that they have a problem. For all he knew, they might be heading towards the black void of insanity and that will not be well for the Enterprise to have an incapacitated Command team.
McCoy was right as usual although Kirk would never admit it freely to him. And this conversation was long overdue anyway.
'Spock.'
The Vulcan's conscience seemed calm enough now. At least he was no longer displaying the hostility he held towards McCoy in Sickbay earlier.
Kirk took it as a hopeful sign.
'Jim.'
A hesitation in Spock's part, maybe embarrassment even, that Kirk detected, but he allowed the Vulcan his moment. But still he would never expected Spock's next words:
'Captain, lock me away. I do not wish to be seen.'
What?
Kirk's confusion increased ten-fold by that simple yet incredibly perplexing request.
What was affecting him so badly that Spock would even…?
Kirk forced himself to calm down and not jump to conclusions. It was easier said than done.
He tried again. 'Spock, I don't understand.' Really he did not.
Spock seemed to struggle in answering but Kirk detected that the anxiety associated with the situation had multiplied again. It's not a comfortable situation to be sure.
'Come on Spock, after all this while, I'm sure there could be no more dark secrets about you I didn't know about,' his tone was light to lift the somewhat somber mood.
But dammit this heat is terrible!
'Captain, I…this is not a matter to be spoken lightly. Even among Vulcans, we do not speak of it openly.'
OK. Now that might prove tricky. And Kirk finally noted the usage of the term Captain, where it had been Jim all this while.
'Spock, I don't mean to sound insensitive. Goodness knows what you' ve had to suffer being stuck with me. But, no secrets here see, because you do know that technically locking you away would constitute the same for me as well.'
[Please]
He thought but did not voice it.
'I'm not asking you to tell me as your Commanding Officer, Spock but as your friend. I need to know because it's affecting me as well.'
Kirk can sense reluctance in Spock. There are also other emotions involved in the Spock's part that gave Kirk the impression that what he was about to learn was not something that happened everyday in the Vulcan's life.
Even after all this time being stuck together, Spock had never freely dispensed of emotions as freely as he did now. Nevertheless, he definitely also able to recognize the signal that Spock was expecting him to be appalled by what he was about to reveal.
Kirk did his best to be reassuring and to let Spock feel his sincerity and openness in accepting whatever it was that Spock had to say.
[Nothing you can tell me will make me think badly of you]
And Kirk meant it too.
[Take your time. I'll wait until you are ready]
The fact that Spock's a Vulcan and reassurances were illogical did not cross Kirk's mind. All he knew was that he needed Spock to trust him now, trust him enough to open up completely to him. He sensed Spock's apprehension subsided slightly and continued with his mental coaxing and reassurance.
Eventually…
'Jim. Did you ever wonder about your dreams?'
Kirk started. Admittedly that was not what he expected Spock to say. And secondly…
Goodness gracious, so Spock did know about them! Freaking out would be appropriate for the occasion but Kirk said instead: 'Are they pertinent to our problem now Spock?'
Please say no…
'Indeed Jim. In fact, they are part of the problem at hand.'
Damnit!
It was Kirk's turn to gulp. 'What do you mean?' he whispered.
Spock's answered Kirk's query with one of his own: 'Have you ever wondered about Vulcan biology Jim?'
Biology?
Kirk frowned.
Why would he wonder about such a thing?
But suddenly it hit him; whether an inspiration from Spock or his own sense of 'biological functioning'.
Those hot and most certainly wet dreams…
The flushing and the definite increase in his libido (that he was trying extremely hard really trying to conceal especially from Spock, which was a futile attempt obviously and everyone else…).
The…oh no…
It couldn't be.
'You couldn't possibly mean biology as in…reproduction, could you?'
[Oh, please, please, please, let me be mistaken]
[You are not Jim. Your deduction is accurate]
If he could, Kirk would've imitated a goldfish. As it was, he settled with a very intelligent: 'Oh.'
Kirk tried to regroup his suddenly jumbled thoughts. OK this was not what he was expecting. At all. In retrospect, perhaps he had been forewarned, the signs were actually blaring at him in neon lights. However, since he was not Vulcan, he could be forgiven for missing and dismissing them.
Also, he could not deny that this revelation did make him feel a wee bit curious. Well actually a lot curious. So all that had been happening lately, were due to the fact that Spock needs to get laid? Seriously, Kirk had seen many bizarre scenarios before thanks to his less than conventional childhood, but this one sure takes the cake for sheer incredibleness.
There was no going back now. 'Might as well hit the ground running,' he thought.
Spock, on the other hand was openly projecting his curiosity at Kirk's response. 'You do not seem disturbed Jim.' Like he was expecting Kirk to be disgusted by it and at him.
Kirk could've laughed for the relief in his heart. He had initially feared that they might be dying. Seeing that the actual reason was anything but, how can he not be amused? However, something in Spock's demeanour told him that the whole proverbial beans had not been spilled yet.
He decided to take the high road. 'Well, Mr. Spock there's nothing to be ashamed about, it happened to the birds and the bees.'
Immediately after those words slipped from his mouth had he regretted saying them. Apparently Spock was not amused.
'The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, Captain. Do you not wonder also about your dreams and why my condition is affecting you as well?'
As a matter of fact, Kirk did, and he told Spock so.
Spock paused for a moment before answering. Kirk once again felt like he was waiting for the pronouncement of his own death sentence. It seemed that Spock definitely had a morbid tendency for emotional roller-coasters.
'The dreams, Captain. They did not originate from your thoughts, instead they stemmed from mine.'
Wait.
What?
So if Kirk understood Spock correctly, the dreams, all of them, were not Kirk's but actually Spock's.
Which was big news to Kirk.
Why would Spock be dreaming about doing those things with me?
Did that mean that Spock…? But no he couldn't be!
Kirk's ponderings were abruptly interrupted when Spock continued with his explanation:
'I had wished to be spared this condition but this unexpected fusion of our bodies had somehow triggered the onset of it earlier than it should be. I believe the cause of this to be your own matured reproductive organs which had caused mine to mature as well.
Kirk could feel himself going light-headed at the explanation. Personally, it didn't make sense to him at all. And despite grasping the fact that Spock was about to hit puberty, he really needed to know why the Vulcan was accusing Kirk's reproductive ability to be the dastardly catalyst to whatever condition this was.
'Wait, Spock. Stop. Please.'
The Vulcan ceased with his verbal lecture to allow him a moment.
'Are you saying that this 'thing', this Vulcan puberty maturation-'
'Ponn Farr.'
'What Spock?'
'It is called the Ponn Far.'
'Fine. That. Are you suggesting that it's happening because of my close proximity to you?'
'Yes Jim.'
So now he understood why Spock was feeling angry at him. Sort off.
That statement rather excited and unnerved Kirk at the same time. The right reponse should have been relief! After all, it was not him (not technically) who dreamt all these dreams but Spock! He needed more answers though.
'Alright that's fine. So I am actually experiencing your symptoms right?'
Spock pondered the query for a moment and then gave his agreement.
'Correct. Telepathic transfers could bring upon such effect.'
Right. It shouldn't be surprising considering that they were stuck to each other anyway. 'So how do we solve this?'
'We, Captain?'
Kirk sighed. 'Well, as you can see, we are in fact glued together until God knows when, Spock. So I figured that if this er, issue of yours needed solving, we've no choice but to do something together.' He regretted saying that as he can sense Spock surprised countenance.
Ok this was getting complicated. Sharing a body sucks. Because how in the world was Spock supposed to 'get it on' so to speak with him around? And admittedly, even though Kirk had to confessed to had been involved in various 'adventurous' forms of love-making in the past, voyeurism was definitely something he was not keen on. Because otherwise, if they had not been sharing this body, things might have gone differently. For one, Spock would never have shared such an important (and admittedly rather embarrassing) experience with him.
Why would he wanted Spock to share it with him anyway?
Kirk heard his own voice whispered to him: 'I do not wish for Spock to share this with anyone else, but me...'
Try as he might, Kirk was unable to dodge that voice.
To Be Continued…
Sooooo, it's really been Spock dreaming about all this naughty things with Jim…
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