Captain Spirk

A/N: An apology is in order for the dastardly long wait in between updates. I'm so sorry! But here I am finally. On with the show.

Warning: Absolute bastardly use of Gary Mitchell ahead.

Chapter 17: The Root of the Matter

As the Enterprise was currently patrolling a sector which was situated far away from New Vulcan, a rendezvous was impossible even if Spock did have a bond-mate waiting for him there. Therefore the most logical solution to the issue was for them to send a message to New Vulcan specifically to Spock Prime mostly because they both agreed that if there was anyone who could help them out of their predicament then it would be him.

He was after all, still Spock and on top of that, he was from the future. Perhaps he had encountered similar problems before? But the distance between them would delay the message for at least one day and there was that one pertinent fact that neither of them knew for certain that the older Spock was even on Vulcan. It was not as if either Spock or himself had been keeping in touch with the older Vulcan. The oldie could be anywhere!

Ambassador Sarek was currently on Earth for a conference – a fact confirmed by Spock. And at this distance, Earth was further away from their location than New Vulcan was so they decided not to trouble Sarek for the time being. Furthermore, Spock was decidedly positive that even his resourceful Father would not be able to aid them in this complicated matter. Kirk had agreed whole heartedly – he had no desire to be seen thus by the esteemed Ambassador. Spock shared his thoughts. As if they have much time to begin with anyway.

That was not to say that they should expect the older Spock to actually be able to help – there was no guarantee – but they were really running out of options. It didn't help that they had received a sudden contact from Admiral Komack late during ship's night, apparently it was morning and sunny in San Francisco, demanding to speak face to face with the Captain regarding the report on the Klingon attack. Apparently there were some matters regarding the report Komack was not happy about. But such thing was not new. Everyone on active starship duties knew what an ass Komack could be. And the Admiral made it his responsibility to hassle Kirk as much as he could possibly managed.

The answer Komack had received informing him that both the Captain and First Officers were on medical leave was definitely not to the Admiral's liking and Kirk (in particular) and Spock (inadvertently) were definitely in deep shit with high command until Bones – God bless the Doctor - saved the day by giving the Admiral the (invented) medical explanation on how serious the situation was. And Scotty, as the acting Captain– bless his soul too – did a good job of explaining things to the Admiral. So in the end, while Komack was still not entirely please ("I want to speak to Kirk once he recovers. Is that clear?")but at least the both of them were more or less not about to face a court – martial.

If Kirk's stress level was not dangerously high to begin with, this altercation with Starfleet had certainly helped to elevate it.

So the second day of their joint (in more ways than one) medical leave started and tomorrow would be the end of the three day period that Bones had allowed them to get this whole mess sorted out. Neither Kirk nor Spock was keen on reporting to Sickbay as that alone would obviously not solve the problem and even might create new ones.

Alone in the confinement of their quarters with nobody but each other for company the two most dynamic minds churned inwardly.

The morning started as a trial to the young Captain. Kirk had woken up to a sensation that demanded his immediate attention. Kirk felt the sudden overwhelming urge to release himself. It was not an entirely foreign concept to him of course. Early morning erections were the norm for a young and healthy Human male he was. And Kirk was never the celibate kind in the first place anyway.

But he had not experience any at all since he found himself sharing a body with Spock. He had felt the inexplicable heat emanating from within him sometimes, yes, the dreams were very vivid and sexually stimulating but yet he had never – not even once – felt the stirring of desire physically then. Perhaps that was an effect of Spock's Vulcan physiology. Knowing how in control the Vulcans were in general, Kirk would attempt a guess that they do not experience the same physiological urges that Human males battle on a daily basis.

No doubt Spock would find the whole thing illogical even with the whole Ponn Farr issue standing between them.

But the thing is, there's no denying matters when you are inundated by it. And awkwardly enough as if this was a punishment to his past promiscuity, he was so very conscious that relieving himself might be near impossible – no make that absolutely so. Spock was still slumbering. Kirk was sure of that. They'd been stuck to each other long enough now for Kirk to be able to pick up Spock's personalities characteristics and the Vulcan nuances. Needless to say, despite the mortal predicament he found himself in, Kirk could never deny that he found Spock's alien idiosyncracies adorable.

"Better not let Spock hear that."

But whatever warm feelings he felt towards his First Officer didn't mean that he'd feel comfortable doing it with Spock around. Kirk checked again; Spock was still asleep and he was still horny. Gritting his teeth, he shut his eyes with a snap chanting fretfully to himself. "Go to sleep. Go to sleep." Hoping that he might, just might, make himself fall asleep again. But the chanting was futile . And it did not offer immediate relief. He figured counting sheep would be useless as well. Not that it had ever worked before. Kirk sighed as he reopened his eyes.

The quarters (his own) were in complete darkness. It took a moment for his previously tightly-shut eyes to readjust to the dim lighting. But he soon adjusted (faster than he normally would) and found himself pondering life as he'd never pondered before, staring at the darkened ceiling like it held the secrets to life.

Kirk shifted slightly in order to make himself more comfortable but was careful not to wake Spock. He had since discovered that Vulcan possessed an even greater sense of perception than he had thought and the slightest stimulation could trigger a response. But it was not so today. Apparently Spock was exhausted. Mentally exhausted no doubt, after their mind-meld. Kirk himself was feeling very fatigued after that but had awoken with this…discomfort.

Contrary to popular believes, Jim Kirk was not entirely an individual perpetually consumed with the fire of sexual desire. It was a myth that he had purposely invented to enhance his image. But the reputation stuck and he did not really care if it did. He had always known from the very beginning that he could be extremely desirable in the eyes of women, Human or otherwise and even to some men too.

His charm had worked his magic in various situations, official, social or otherwise. It had become part of his legend.

Kirk admitted that he did enjoy the attention and the company. Well, let's just say that he had never lacked them whenever he needed them. But most of them were just a whimsical fancy and not enough to fill the lack in his existence. Flings, Bones would call it wearing that long suffering scowl he had always reserved especially for Kirk.

He was always well aware that he was lusted by some of his own crew. Some of them Bones had pointed out to him in amusement like the one nurse who would blush furiously if Kirk so much as turned up in Sickbay, others he unfortunately had encountered upon himself several utterly distasteful times. Like Rand's fixation with him for example. Of course Kirk knew all about that even without Bones' help. But even Kirk the so-called galactic Casanova preferred not to be involved with subordinates. It created issues he would not care to embroil in.

It's not that he was averse to love per se really. Once upon a time, he was also one of the naïve farm boys in search of his one true love. Heh. It sounded absolutely removed from the person he had now become. But that was indeed the truth until he had learned a lesson on love the hard way.

He was all of 19 years old at the time; the kind of age where young men often mistakenly thought that they were indestructible and so often ended up in all sorts of trouble. And Kirk was no exception. But he was also deeply in love with a girl from his home town called Carol Marcus, or so he thought he was. She was the first ever girl whom Kirk had truly loved and considered spending his life with. But the whole charade was exposed when he later learned that the whole relationship with Carol was part of Gary Mitchell's plan. Mitchell was his childhood friend and had always held the reputation as the town's prankster. So in retrospect, Kirk should have known.

But he was young then and he was in love.

It was half a practical joke apparently on Mitchell's part – he was laying a bet that that the untouchable Jim Kirk could actually truly, whole-heartedly fall in love. Well mission accomplished. Kirk did fell head over heels over Carol. She was perfect – too perfect – as a matter of fact when he thought about it later, no doubt Mitchell had kindly supplied her with every single information regarding him and his personal life.

It was the most perfect diabolical plan and Kirk even bought her a diamond ring to propose when he overheard the conversation between Carol and Mitchell that would change everything.

Flashback:

Young Jim Kirk was beaming. He had been working at the antiques shop at the corner of the street for just one purpose. He'd been planning it for months now, ever since he'd made up his mind that she was the one who had won his heart. Kirk never ever thought that was possible – not for someone like him but Carol was the ideal girl in every way possible.

Her bombshell looks aside (and she totally was gifted in the genetic lottery part), she was the first girl – woman – that had ever understood him completely. While most girls in their hometown looked upon him as nothing but trash, Carol was different. She understands him. She would listen to his dreams, his secret desires for the stars and she never once chided him or laughed at him. She was his soul mate – never mind that he never believed in such a thing before.

He had worked hard for this. Had been working extra time at the quarry too just so that he could afford the item he currently clutched in his palm. Took him nearly half a year to acquire it but as he opened the black velvet box to reveal the treasure inside he was content. In ways he himself cannot describe. The single diamond glittered brightly under Iowa's summer sun. Kirk's smile widened.

Today would be the day. He had everything planned. His feet carried him to the river side restaurant where they had their first date eagerly. The feeling of excitement and nervous anticipation grew as his stride took him nearer to the appointed destination. Kirk was going to be early. He had wanted to discuss last minute details with the manager to ensure that his plan would go off without a hitch. Carol would be pleasantly surprised.

So after rehashing the details with the restaurateur Kirk made his way to their usual table. There was a wall that separated him with the small area ahead – a private parlour where dining guests could gaze upon the open water. It was a beautiful place, Kirk loved it dearly and knew that Carol did too. It was perfect.

Voices from within caught his attention though and he halted near the wall. Two voices – a man and a woman. One was definitely Carol's...the other one...

Gary?

Kirk contemplated making his presence known but there was something, a feeling that stopped him in his tracks. He felt like a fool when he found himself flattening against the wall near a palm tree in an act to remain inconspicuous. He did not know why he felt like he was intruding, wasn't that his fiancee to be and his best friend in there? What has he got to be suspicious about?

But he was. For one thing, Gary wasn't supposed to be there, although Kirk did informed his intentions to the other man – the only person Kirk had confided about it. Did Gary tell Carol and spoil the surprise? If he did Kirk was going to kill him – after Carol said yes, of course.

Laughter broke into his inner monologue. Kirk listened and froze.

In the end, Kirk was the one who found himself surprised. Heartbreakingly, foolishly surprised. So it was just an elaborate joke after all. Gary had thought it would be funny to see if the indomitable Jim Kirk could ever fall so helplessly in love and he had succeeded. So with Carol's aid – apparently money was involved Kirk really could not recalled the explicit details, they concocted the perfect seduction. One that even Jim Kirk could not deny. It was masterful, it was classy. It was all but a lie.

When he had heard their conversation, he felt like he was watching a little parody, a play that involved him. Carol didn't really loved him after all, despite what she said to him after he made his presence known via a champagne holding server inquiring why in the world was he hiding there. They were shocked to see him there though if the double look of dismay on their faces were an indication.

Of course, by that point Kirk was beyond caring. He was numb. Feelings did not exist just then. And despite their efforts at explaining, Kirk had heard enough. He had been a fool for a while it seemed – a pawn in their quest for amusement. But no more. Enough is enough.

He left them staring after him, pushing his way past the poor bewildered server still bearing the champagne.

Only later did Kirk remembered that he had left the ring behind.

And yet, despite the deception, Kirk knew that he could not – never would - forget her. But as with everything in life, the pain soon dulled and he found himself in the arms of women after women. It never stopped – not even when his life took a turn in a direction he never imagined. At Starfleet, his reputation as a lothario was legendary even during his cadet days.

Now, even as a Captain of a flagship, it continued – albeit more subtly. On shore leaves, on diplomatic missions even, he could always find a willing partner to warm his bed. It was like a thirst that could never be quenched. It always left him feeling a little dirty after the deed but he felt like he could never stop.

As a matter of fact, he was at his charming and seductive best just over a week ago with the High Chancellor of the planet Zeldon to obtain the ever important Dilithium Crystal. Kirk had to admit that he was absolutely enthralled by her as she was by him. And thus began the cycle of Casanova Kirk peculiar brand of diplomacy.

What he really yearned for – as clichéd as it sounded - was a meaningful relationship with someone who really mattered. Only one person had had the bravado – or the foolishness - to throw that fact to his face.

"Things are only clichéd because they are true Jim," McCoy had imparted those words of wisdom to him one day not too long ago after he'd found himself extricated from yet another relationship. That particular one had ended quite nastily too. She refused to let go and he couldn't get away fast enough. But McCoy was ignored and life continued.

Somehow that mission on Zeldon was also the moment which shed a whole new light upon his First Officer. He recalled now Spock's disapproving looks when he had courted the counsellor. Spock had never approved of such methods before but this time he was particularly against it. The Vulcan had been hovering around them a lot too! Spock never hovered needlessly. So that behaviour was odd. It's not like the Chancellor would attack him or anything, not like that anyway. And now that Kirk thought about it, his First Officer seemed to dislike the woman too.

Spock was always polite and politically correct anywhere and to anyone. But he was acting coldly towards her in a way Kirk had never seen him before. Strange. Especially since the Vulcan inherently knew how important the mission was and failure would definitely resulted in death. Not only for them but for the entire crew of the Enterprise as well. The stake was high and Spock obviously knew it but still there he was openly projecting dislike to the person who could change misfortune into hope although fortunately it was not obvious. Meaning it was not obvious to anyone else, but Kirk was far too trained on Spock lore to miss it.

If he didn't know better, Kirk would suspect that Spock was jealous. But he did know better, or so he thought and dismissed the foolish notion.

Kirk didn't know when his hand had travelled the distance in between the sheets to where it now currently resided at the seam of the pyjama opening. God, he was truly desperate for relief! Kirk had never been a religious person but if there was a higher power in this universe he prayed fervently for respite.

Especially now because his hard on was not abating.

Kirk groaned inwardly. In his head, he felt Spock awakening.

Please don't wake up now – sleep Spock do, please.

"Jim?"

Oh no. Spock would definitely find out about his – or their – current condition.

"Uh…"

"What is it?"

Kirk was confused. What was what?

"Is something the matter? You seemed distressed."

"Er…"

Silence from the other man. And then: "Oh." Spock had obviously discovered the big – pun absolutely intended - situation between them. Now would be a great time for that Klingon ambush.

'Oh' indeed. A thousand different excuses sprang to Kirk's mind to explain and he was just beginning to select the best one when he detected profound interest – of all things – from Spock. What the - ?

"Fascinating."

And of all the things the Vulcan could have uttered in this vast expanse of universal languages.

"Look Spock, I can explain." Course you can Kirk – it is damn obvious after all.

"This isn't what you think." Oh really. Even to his ears that sounded lame. If Spock was the snorting kind, Kirk knew he would have.

"This condition is what Human called an erection, correct?" Trust Spock to put it out so clinically.

"Uh yeah."

"I thought it is often preceded by a sexual urge." Touche'.

Kirk could not believe this. He had thought that Spock would be embarrassed – in a Vulcan way , of course. Instead the Vulcan was treating this like it's a private Human physiology lesson. He even was making astute observations and repeating them out loud to him as though this was nothing more than one of his science project in the labs.

Then again – how exactly did Kirk wanted Spock to react?

"Yeah." Kirk regretted to say that his awesome sexual prowess did not work on Spock. And it somehow seemed turning off to be speaking of this so very…intellectually. Although of course, since this was Spock, that should not have surprised him. But still, it was disappointing to him that Spock had found the matter interesting academically but not so much sexually.

And the problem that was plaguing him for the morning subsided. Just like that.

Spock was still staring at their, um, manhood.

"It is no longer erected."

The Vulcan's ability towards scientific observation was astounding. Kirk didn't know whether to feel amused or exasperated.

"Well that's good." He said it a bit vehemently.

Spock seemed genuinely surprised at his tone.

"You seemed displeased."

Kirk sighed. In truth, he was supposed to feel relieved that Spock had not found the incident embarrassing or thought lowly of him. But there was this feeling inside him that suggested that he would very much preferred it if Spock had been stimulated too – in sexual terms. Especially since it was the advent of his Ponn Farr and every thing.

He reprimanded himself after that thought. He'd be damned if Spock caught his errant thoughts.

"Are you experiencing desire, Jim?"

Kirk nearly choked. "What?" What the hell?

"I have observed that you had not experience erection all the time we were joint together, this is the first time in a long while."

Wow. Spock was definitely one astute observer. This must definitely be punishment for all the hearts he had broken in the past. Although Spock was wrong in certain things. Yes, this was the first time that Kirk had experienced an erection. Yet no, today was not the only day that he had experienced intense sexual desire. The thrumming engines of the Enterprise seemed inexplicably loud in his ears.

"I…," he hesitated. "Look Spock, listen."

"I am Jim."

"OK. It's difficult to explain these things to you. It's rather personal."

Of course it was. Extremely, deeply personal stuff.

Spock was listening thoughtfully. "You do not wish to share such personal things with me."

There was definitely a tinge of regret in that normally controlled tone.

So Kirk felt like he was threading on shaky grounds here. How in the hell did he found himself in this predicament in the first place?

"Well things like these aren't exactly normal conversations. Not even among Humans." He was speaking the truth. Heck he'd never had this kind of conversations with anyone before – not even his numerous past lovers. Not even Carol for that matter.

He felt something – he'd like to say 'mood' but was not sure of it lighten in Spock again.

"Ah. This is a new ground for even you."

Kirk had to smirk at that. "I'm not an expert at everything Spock." Then added wistfully. "Although I like to pretend otherwise."

A moment of silence followed although it was not uncomfortable.

"Forgive me."

Kirk started. "Spock?"

The Vulcan did not hesitate. "Forgive me Jim. It was not my place to pry."

He's so sweet. Although that word would be the last thing anyone in the Universe would ever associate with Spock, Kirk did not mind being the first and perhaps the only one to apply it to the Vulcan. It made Kirk giddy. And he had not done giddy for such a long, long time. May be not even ever.

"Sweet Jim?"

And suddenly Jim knew that he was in big trouble. There was light teasing in Spock's voice and Kirk felt something stirred deeply within him. It was a feeling that had not been aroused within him for a very long time. Kirk was jolted by a sense of shock at the realisation. Between the visions in the meld and this feeling of warmness he felt in Spock's presence; he should have known.

Shit. Could it be?

To Be Continued

Please R&R