First Time for Everything

Chapter 4

"Pepper, I'm..."

"Don't, Tony," Pepper warned. She rose from the couch and wiped away tears before speaking again. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "It's bad enough knowing you didn't mean it, but, if you apologize for saying you love me, I will walk out that door and I don't know if I could make myself come back." Already angry at herself for letting him see her cry, Pepper turned her back to Tony.

"Didn't mean it?" Tony said, suddenly defensive. "Oh yeah, because Tony Stark is incapable of loving anyone but himself. That's what the 'official report' says, right?" He ran a hand across his face. "I just never thought you would believe it." He couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice.

Slowly, Pepper turned to face him. "I don't think that, but, pardon me for doubting the sincerity of something blurted out during a back rub."

"Okay, maybe I deserve that, but give me a little credit here. How it came out doesn't mean I was insincere." Tony sighed in frustration. He pushed himself off the sofa and walked in the opposite direction of where Pepper stood. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. There was supposed to be music and candles and the Eiffel Tower lit up in the background. It was supposed to be over lobster and champagne not...pie charts and egg rolls." He ran a hand through his hair. "It was supposed to be special."

"Did you mean it?"

"I just said..."

"Tony, did...you...mean...it?"

"Yes."

"Then that makes it special."

"It's not how I practiced it," Tony mumbled.

"Wait...did you just say 'practiced?'"

"Yeah," he admitted sheepishly.

This idea intrigued Pepper. "You practiced how you would say you loved me?"

"For the first time, yes. I wanted it to be something you wouldn't ever forget."

"Trust me. I won't forget." Pepper appeared uncharacteristically nervous. She looked at her hands and toyed with her watch. "Do you regret it?"

"I only regret one thing and that is I ever gave you reason to doubt me. I am going to apologize and if you want to leave after I finish, then you can. I am sorry, but not for what I said. I'm sorry for hurting you." When he finished, Tony retraced his steps and collapsed onto the sofa. He felt completely drained. He laid his head on the back of the seat and stared at the ceiling. Tony felt the cushion shift and raised his head to see Pepper sitting beside him. He released a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "I'm sorry I made you mad."

"I wasn't mad," Pepper said, "just...scared."

"Scared? Of what? Scared of me?"

"No!" she answered emphatically. "I would never be scared of you. I was just afraid..." Pepper stopped and took a breath. "I was afraid that I was the only one who felt this way."

Tony levered himself into a sitting position. He played what she said over in his mind. The only one who felt this way. The meaning of what Pepper just confessed began to sink in. Tony covered her hand with his. "If by 'this way' you mean head-over-heels in love, then no...you're not." She gave him a shy smile that melted his heart.

Pepper thought of how to approach what she wanted to ask. She decided to forego any formalities and just say it. "When did you know?"

"That night," he answered almost immediately. Tony needed to give no further description. They both knew exactly which night he meant. "I was talking to Agent Coulson at the bar and looked up. There you were, all backless and deodorantless and...gorgeous. Then, we danced and...I knew." Tony rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "For the record, I was coming back."

"At the Expo, when I heard you tell Natalie at the moment, you weren't dying..."

"Yeah, about that..."

"Let me finish," Pepper requested. "When I found out you were dying, I went cold inside. I realized just how much I cared, how much I would regret it if I never got the chance to tell you how I felt."

"You can tell me now." Tony saw Pepper's skeptical look. "Hey, I spilled my guts. It's only fair."

"And, I suppose, then, it would only be fair if I told you in the same manner."

"Honestly, it's me," Tony countered. "Did you really expect much different? Plus, you're way classier."

"This is true," Pepper agreed. "Contrary to what you may think, it's not like I'm the queen of the serious relationship." He gave her a look from puppy-dog eyes she couldn't refuse. "Fine. You make me crazy and are capable of infuriating more than anyone I've ever known, but, despite all that, I love you."

"Now, was that so hard?" Tony asked with an impish grin.

"Apparently so," Pepper replied with a smile of her own.

"I still don't know why it took you so long to realize you loved me. I knew it a long time ago."

"You did, huh? Exactly how did you know this?"

"Oh, like how you couldn't keep your hands to yourself, finding ways to touch me. All those times I caught you undressing me with your eyes."

"Oh please."

"Admit it, Potts. You have wanted this for years." Pepper laughed in spite of herself. "And…so have I," Tony admitted. "It may have taken me a couple of decades to see what I had, but now that I have, I like it. I love it. I love…you."

The silence that followed was neither awkward nor eerie. The tears that swam in Pepper's eyes weren't angry tears. Tony cupped her cheek and used his thumb to brush away a tear that spilled out. "So, we're good?"

"We're good," Pepper answered with a sniff.

"Happy tears?"

"Happy tears." She placed a kiss on his palm. "Do you know what would make me change from 'happy' to 'ecstatic'? Getting this presentation done I can get some sleep."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a mean boss, Miss Potts?" Tony chided.

"Only you when you don't get your way, Mr. Stark," Pepper came back.

"Like I ever get my way." Pepper snorted at this statement. "I don't mind," Tony said, unaffected. "I love it when you're bossy."

"When am I bossy?"

"I seem to recall the phrase 'Suck it up, Buttercup. You are doing this presentation' being used within the past half-hour."

"That's not bossy. That's…keeping you on task."

"Uh-huh. Like I said, I like it when you're bossy. It's endearing. You have so many endearing qualities, too. You're neat, beautiful, generous. You smell nice. You're…"

"Anthony…"

"Yes, Virginia?"

"As much as I appreciate the compliments, shut up and get to work."

"No…not bossy at all," Tony muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Pepper inquired with a quirked eyebrow.

"I said I love you," he replied, obediently picking up a folder.

"That's what I thought you said." Pepper walked to retrieve her legal pad from the desk. As she passed Tony on her way to be seated, she ran her hand through his hair and trailed it down his jaw. "Since we're on the subject, I love you, too." Smiling, Tony scooted closer to Pepper and they picked up where they left off.

Afterword

The evening hadn't gone like Tony thought it would. What was supposed to be a night of reviewing for the annual budget meeting turned into much more. Tony stood in the middle of the room.

File folders…

Papers…

Chinese carry-out boxes…

Those things were still scattered about. They were still in his office. Everything appeared the same, but, it was different. He saw Pepper, asleep on the couch, covered with his jacket. Tony quit trying to piece it all together. He may never understand how they got "there." He never expected to say "I love you," either. Then again, there's always a first time for everything.

Author's Note: Okay. So this chapter was longer and, I hope, worth the wait. (Now, I hope I'm back in the good graces of NCISVILLE. lol) I promised there would be Pepperony goodness after the angst. How was it? There will be one more chapter, more of an epilogue. This story has been fun to do and I appreciate all of the awesome, encouraging reviews. PLEASE let me know how you like it. : ) PEPPERONY FOREVER.