Disclaimer: Really, really...really not mine.

Author's Note: Because it needed to be written.

- Prowl's Not So Excellent Morning After -

Trailbreaker looked up in mild interest as Ratchet strolled into the command center, only partly concerned by the medic's large smirk. The story of what Prowl and Sideswipe had been found doing last night after returning from their mission to Cybertron had spread through the Ark already, so it wasn't really startling to see Ratchet looking smug with himself this morning. It was a little odd to see him up so early, but Trailbreaker thought nothing of it until Jazz staggered into the command center, shaking off the lingering after affects of high grade, recharge and, according to tales, multiple interfacings.

"Good morning, Jazz." Ratchet said pleasantly.

"Mornin', Ratch'!" Jazz replied with a not-quite-forced smile before heading over to Trailbreaker's station. The black bot got up without a word, allowing Jazz to take his seat. "How's business, 'Breaker?" Jazz asked as he began checking the logs.

"Quiet. Unlike certain hallways last night." Trailbreaker said, and Jazz stiffened slightly, then relaxed and grinned widely.

"Yeah. Sorry 'bout that." the saboteur said lazily.

"No need to apologize." Trailbreaker said, leaning against the console. Now that he knew why Ratchet was in the command center this early, he wasn't about to miss the show, so he stayed and chatted with Jazz as he waited for Prowl to make 'his' inevitable appearance. Jazz must have begun to suspect something was up, because he kept shooting Ratchet curious looks, but the medic just wandered around the command center, smiling to himself, and answered any questions with vague one or two word answers.

And then, finally, an hour after the start of Jazz's shift, Prowl stepped in. 'She' was as poised as usual, though she somehow managed to look crankier as a femme than a mech, and when her gaze settled on Ratchet almost immediately, Trailbreaker knew he was really in for a show, and settled back with a smirk to watch. Jazz, noticing Trailbreaker's change in posture, turned curiously to the doorway, freezing as he spotted Prowl.

"Ratchet. I believe your shift in the med bay started a little over an hour ago?" Prowl said icily.

"I was just up here getting some things from Teletraan." Ratchet replied mildly.

"I'm sure." Prowl said dryly. "Med bay. Now. Sideswipe's already waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Ratchet asked with a smirk, and Prowl twitched before marching over to the medic. The tactician had always been shorter than Ratchet, even in mech form, but somehow she managed to give the impression of looming over him anyways, and Trailbreaker had the pleasure of seeing Ratchet actually look a little worried for a moment. Apparently Ratchet had learned, like all mechs, to be wary of angry femmes. The fact that this femme was technically a mech didn't really matter, considering Prowl's normal temper.

"Ratchet, as entertaining as I'm sure you're finding this, I don't think Prime would be too pleased to have the Decepticons attack while Sideswipe and I still look like this." Prowl snarled. Ratchet smirked at that, his gaze flicking to Jazz for a moment, and Trailbreaker realized this had the opportunity the medic had been waiting for.

"Then perhaps you two shouldn't have decided to go out and party before coming to me to get your disguises removed, Prowl." Ratchet said pointedly, and when he finished, the medic and Trailbreaker both glanced to Jazz, but the saboteur, maddeningly, was only watching with amusement. Trailbreaker wondered if perhaps Ratchet's words just hadn't hit Jazz yet, but the saboteur's next words proved that they had.

"You're th'one always sayin' Prowl need t'lighten up an' relax some, Ratch'." Jazz drawled, and both Ratchet and Trailbreaker looked at him in surprise before a strange noise brought their attention back to Prowl.

The tactician was staring at Jazz with a shocked expression, and Trailbreaker could barely hold in his laughter as he realized what was going on. Apparently Jazz had known exactly who he'd been interfacing with last night...but he'd figured it out on his own, and Prowl hadn't realized he knew. So Jazz was, once again, not embarrassed, but Prowl looked completely mortified now. Ratchet looked positively gleeful.

"I'm not head'a special ops for nothin', Prowl." Jazz said with amusement, then turned back to his station. "Besides, mech or femme, y'move an' flirt th'same way." Prowl went from mortified to seething with anger in an instant, and Trailbreaker wondered if perhaps Prowl wasn't actually really a femme deep down - she certainly seemed to have no trouble acting like one. Though, she did have two months of practice behind her.

No matter the reason for Prowl's behaviour, there was no doubt that the emotions behind it were real enough, and Trailbreaker stepped back quickly when the tactician stalked over. She spun Jazz's chair back around, then leaned forward, bringing herself face-to-face with the startled saboteur.

"And you're a glitch-slagged jerk no matter what the situation." Prowl snarled, optics flashing, then abruptly spun and stalked out of the room, grabbing Ratchet's arm on her way out and dragging him with her. Jazz stared after the retreating tactician for several moments before looking up at Trailbreaker.

"Is it just me, or did Prowl just act like more of a femme than Chromia normally does?" the saboteur asked, and Trailbreaker broke down laughing.

- END -