Chapter 2:
I don't remember the last time I talked with Santana or the last time she sent me a text message, for that matter. I typed a short response.
Yes – Brittany.
I need to start from the beginning, my parents are from Lima, Ohio; but when they were young they moved to New York, so I was born in New York but I spent most of my summers with my grandparents in Lima. And like my parents some other people from Lima did the same thing, like Santana's father who moved to Boston and started his family over there, or Mercedes parents who live in Pennsylvania and the list goes on. But they all come back to Lima during the summer, just like me.
Santana is my best friend, ok scratch that, Santana used to be my best friend since we were kids until we were about 21, after that we used to be friends but less and less. What happened? I really don't know, sometimes life is a mess and people takes different paths and friendship is not always able to overcome the time apart.
Well, that's partly a lie, it's true that different paths were involved too, but there been some compelling reasons, or like Rachel would say catalysts. I was in love with Santana, she didn't love me back more than in a friendly way and she was dating Puck.
I don't hate Puck or anything like that, hating on someone is an awful thing to do, but if I say I like Puck, neither would be true. We just turn out two people who share the same group of friends but that's all, we had nothing in common only Santana. So when they started to date years ago I wasn't happy, obviously, but I tried my best to be friends with him, I tried really hard, because Santana was my best friend and she was happy with him.
I wasn't making an exception with them, in fact, I did it what I always do, I always try to get along with boyfriends or girlfriends of my friends. Puck wasn't that bad, he treated good Santana and both were happy, but there was pretty obvious we couldn't be friends, just we couldn't, there's no logical explanation, we just didn't click. The outcome was that the two of us were polite around each other, but that's all, no friendship, no hating, nothing at all.
In the other hand, there was my friendship with Santana most of people don't understand how the two became best friends because we're totally different. The truth is that I don't even remember how I met her, like she was always there in Lima with me.
The thing with Santana was, well, she is very strict with herself; always wearing the perfect outfit, perfect makeup and perfect hairstyle, always worried about other people thinks or talks about her and sometimes she's a lit bit uptight. She always been a little bit grumpy especially with the other people although sometimes I suffered her bitchy words on my skin too, in the end she has a good heart but she doesn't show it too much.
I personally believe that attitude is because of her grandmother, whom Santana looks up to, who sets very high standards. Her grandchild can't fail at anything on her life and sometimes it was too much pressure.
Santana's grandmother, Alma Lopez. She almost loved me like I was another granddaughter for her, after all, I spent most of my young summer days around her house with Santana and because of that she was angry with me when she heard a few years ago, more exactly when I had 21, because Lima-citizens are a bunch of gossips, that I was bisexual. The woman ignored me for a while I didn't know why, but finally talked to me and said 'You'll find a good boy for you, I don't have any doubt'. After that summer she never treated me like the same. I was super worried that Santana had the same reaction but she never said anything and I was glad.
I don't care about what people thinks about me but I had to admit that I was really disappointed with Alma, because not only was she loved me as her grandchild it was I loved her as another grandma.
So the relationship between Puck and Santana was smooth sailing and Santana and I were spending less amount of time together, the friendship began to weaken. Because on one side they, as a normal couple, wanted to spend most of the time they had together because during the year Santana was in Boston and Puck Lima, although they were traveling to be together during Christmas holidays or weekends. And on the other side because of me, I didn't like the idea of being a candle holder.
I always knew nothing was going to happen between Santana and me. I knew it even before she started with Puck or any other guy she dated before, for that matter. She only saw me as her best friend. And I even I dated other people during the years trying to get rid of this silly love, but it was like my brain knew the truth but my heart didn't want come to their senses and I always had this little-tiny hope that one day something could change, until…
Three years before
The wedding has been beautiful, Sam and Quinn are so great together and I cried like a baby unicorn when they were saying "I do", I can't help it I'm that silly. The new married couple now is dancing their first dance; a song called if I remember correctly "Buon Giorno Principessa, from 'La Vita è Bella', Sam loves that movie.
At the beginning I didn't understand why Quinn let, her soon to be husband, choose the song and why Sam liked it so much. I get that's a good movie but also is super sad and every time I think about the ending, little tears forming in my eyes and I don't like thinking about sad stuff.
Sam told me "Sadness is also a part of life even you like it or not, plus the song is beautiful, indeed" and I believe that the first part of that sentence is one of the most meaningful things that someone ever told me.
I'm still looking at them, seems like they are swaying over clouds, I'm pretty sure for both of them right now they are all alone in this big room. I decided to look around and between my family there are some friends, but I focus my attention on Rachel and Finn another lovebirds who are dancing, well truth be told Finn is trying, the poor guy is like he has two left feet. They are looking each other in the eyes just like my cousin and Sam were doing; probably they will be the next couple to marry. And in the other side of the room, there are… Santana and Puck.
"Brittany!" My aunt Judy appeared from nowhere "You have seen your uncle Russell? I can't find him!" I think she realize after a few second that I was looking to Puck and Santana before. "They look happy, don't they? Is such a big step to start living together and they're glowing because of happiness!"
"It's Puck moving to Boston?!" I asked without thinking.
I was surprised, I never thought Puck finally will be moving to Boston, he has a pool cleaner business in Lima and he was like super attached to it. I remember how Santana and he always used to argue about it, because he didn't want to get rid of it, even which means for Puck to be apart from Santana an important amount of time.
"No, Santana is the one moving" My eyes opened wide "She will come to Lima" My aunt said nodding. "Santana's grandmother didn't like the fact they will be living together without marrying but I think she…." She suddenly shut up "Oh I think I saw you uncle, see you later sweetie! Russell, Russell, wait! Are you drunk? Wait!" She walked away.
Who knew? Lima is okay to stay on vacation, but nothing else. I can't understand how Santana Lopez, who once upon a time was so sure about living in New York one day because Boston was to boring (okay she said that when we were like 18, but still), now is going to live in Lima, really?
Meanwhile I'm still standing among wedding guests I can see Puck and Santana dancing, laughing and fooling around, they seem pretty happy and I think that it's, that must be true love, I guess it's always had been but I never wanted to see it, they always say, none so blind as those who will not see.
And I realize that I can't go on like this, not anymore. I can't have my life in a standby, waiting for something that will never happen it's very sad. I don't want to be the old lady with too many cats, even I like cats.
I need to grow up; I really need grow up. I want what Sam and Quinn, Finn and Rachel or Puck and…. Santana have.
The miserable thing; I really was in love with her, it wasn't a silly crush or me infatuated with her beauty or something like that, because I had seen the best and the worse of her and I would have chosen the two.
"Sister in law! What are you doing?" Jack said and pulled me out of my thoughts.
"What?" He caught me off guard. I don't listen what he was saying.
"I said that you have been staring at the screen like ten minutes! Who was Santa Claus?"
A new message appears in my phone's screen.
*Congratulations, then – Santana.
"Nothing" I answered him and while I put the phone on my pocket and start to talk with everyone again.