Topsy Turvy

Summary: Sequel to How to Save a Life. Jade and Linksano have been together for six months, and Linksano is working on a solution to allow Jade to permanently reside in the Awesome 'Verse. But something happens that turns their lives upside down.

Pairing: Linksano/OC

Warnings: None

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I own Jade, that's all.

–

Chapter Seven: Sweet Child O Mine.

Jade winced as she leaned against the couch. By Linksano's calculations, she was in her sixth, and possibly final, month of pregnancy. He had babbled on about her biological clock being faster than a normal human woman's, and shown her figures and statistics that made her head swim. But the gist of it all was that she would most likely be giving birth sometime towards the end of the month. He also hoped to have her anchor perfected by then-he had been working on it, but naturally became slightly distracted by the pregnancy and everything that ensued.

The realization that he was going to be a father in less than a month hadn't quite hit the scientist yet, though. When asked if he was excited, he would nod absently and return to his work, muttering under his breath. Eventually, everyone gave up razzing him, instead choosing to go out and buy the necessities.

Linkara created a spare room for a nursery, and he, Harvey, and 90s Kid spent the weekend decorating it. Jade had been quite happy, and even Linksano had managed a mutter of thanks.

Now, two weeks after that, Jade was beginning to suspect that perhaps her lover's calculations may have been a bit off. She clenched her teeth, breathing hard against the spasms, mentally counting how far apart they were. "Son of a..."

90s Kid looked up from his comic. He and Jade were alone in the apartment. Linkara had gone out shopping, Harvey was getting a haircut, and Linksano was on board Comicron-1. "You okay, Jade?"

Jade hissed as another contraction hit. "Well, I don't mean to cause any alarm, but I'm going to have a baby."

The teen frowned in confusion. "Well, yeah, I know. It's kind of obvious."

Jade cursed as another, stronger contraction hit. "Nooo, you don't understand. I'm going to have a baby. Right now."

90s Kid gaped at her. "Dude, you mean...?!" Jade howled in pain, and 90s Kid yelped, flustered. "Umm..OK...uhh..oh geez what do I do...umm...uhh..hot water? Do you need hot water or a pillow or..."

"I'm home!"

90s Kid had never been so happy to hear Linkara's voice. He ran into the hall, grabbing the shocked reviewer before he even had time to put away the groceries. "Dude you gotta help me Jade's going into labor and I totally have no clue what to do!"

Linkara gaped at Jade for half a second before assuming control. "Right. 90S Kid, call Insano and tell him to meet us on board Comicron-1. We'll be in the Infirmary." He walked over to Jade. "Think you can handle a quick teleport?" Jade nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Nimue, beam us to the Infirmary then inform Linksano he's about to be a father."

AFFIRMATIVE.

–

"EUREKA!" Linksano shouted in glee before laughing at himself for saying such a stock phrase. He had found the anchor. All Jade had to do was drink it, and she could stay with him.

DR. LINKSANO, YOU ARE NEEDED IN THE INFIRMARY.

"Oh, can't it wait?"

I FEAR NOT. JADE HAS GONE INTO LABOR.

Linksano's jaw dropped. "But she's not due for another three weeks!" He shot out of his lab, racing for the infirmary as fast as his legs could carry him.

Insano was just putting the final touches on his project(it was either a death ray or a bubble machine, he wasn't sure yet) when his phone rang. The tinny sounds of Nirvana clued him into the caller fairly easily. Sighing in exasperation, he picked it up. "Hello, 90s Kid. Look, I'm very busy and...What. She did? Well, what does Linkara expect...oh fine, I'll come!" With a curse, he allowed himself to be beamed onto Linkara's ship.

The hero was waiting for him. "Good, you're here. Know anything about delivering babies?"

"Not a blessed thing."

"Great, follow me." Insano followed Linkara down the corridors to the Infirmary. Jade was lying on a bed, Linksano behind her. 90s Kid was trying to look everywhere but at Jade. Insano sighed. "She's in labor."

Linksano rolled his eyes. "Brilliant deduction, Sherlock!"

Jade yelped in pain, then spoke between clenched teeth. "Linksano, my love, I know you and Insano have your differences, but so help me if you two start having a cock fight I will force you both to perform a fan dance while wearing frilly pink tutus!"

Linkara and 90s Kid cackled at the image. Insano shuddered, then walked over to the bed. "OK, look. I know next to nothing about delivering babies, but I can guess why the hero called me. So I'll do my best, but I'm drawing on med school knowledge, and that was a long time ago. Jade, I'm not sure how quick your delivery will be, so Linkara, I need you to get blankets and something to clean the kid off once it's out. 90s Kid, I need you to help me."

90s Kid blanched. "Dude, I'm not sure I'd be much help..."

"You'll be fine. Just come stand in front of Jade and be ready to catch the head."

The teen gulped, then came to where Insano was pointing. He stared at the ceiling , trying not to look. Insano rolled his eyes and smacked the back of his head. "Ow! Dude, what was that for?"

"Pay attention, idiot! How are you going to see the head otherwise?"

"Dude...I don't want to see her...umm...you know."

Insano giggled. "Why, haven't you ever seen one before?"

"Cha, sure I have. Lots of times!"

"Then why is this any different?"

The teen fidgeted. "Well...I...umm...it just is, OK?"

Linkara had returned with the blankets. "90s Kid, just admit you've never seen a vagina and be done with it. I'll help Insano."

90s Kid looked indignant. "I have so seen one! I've seen lots of them."

"Sneaking peeks at the centerfolds in Playboy and Hustler don't count," Linkara snarked. "But if you still want to help, then you can be the one to clean the baby off, OK?"

Jade growled. "If the three of you are done discussing my pussy, perhaps you would be so kind as to GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF ME."

Insano jumped to attention. "Right. Linkara, come over here and get ready to catch the head. 90s Kid, find the cleanest blanket and have it ready. Linksano, keep supporting Jade. Jade, when I tell you to, push." He counted to twenty, then looked up at her. "Push."

Jade bore down, howling, and Linksano screeched as his hand was crushed. Insano nodded, grinning. "Keep going, you're doing great!"

A blue flash indicated Harvey's arrival, and he ran over. "Anything I can do, Doc?" Insano nodded.

"Yes, get a basin of clean water ready." Harvey nodded and went to the sink. He found a basin underneath and filled it.

Insano smiled at Jade in encouragement. "You're doing great. Keep pushing. Linkara, do you see anything yet?"

"No, not...wait! Yeah, I do! I see the head!"

Linksano gulped. "Oh Tesla...come on Jade, just a bit more..."

Jade bore down, screaming. "LINKSANO, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU..." she let out a stream of words that nobody could understand, but from the expression of fury on her face, they guessed it was nothing good. "YOU ARE NEVER, EVER ALLOWED TO TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN!"

Linksano looked utterly crushed, but Harvey cackled. "Don't take her too seriously, Doc. Helena threatened to castrate me with her bare hands. Dames say things they don't mean when they're having a kid."

Linkara gasped out loud. "I've got the head! Now what?"

Insano grinned widely. "One more big push, Jade. Just one more!"

The entire Infirmary held its breath as Jade bore down. For a second, there was dead silence, then the loud wails of a newborn pierced the air. Insano barked out orders. "Harvey, bring that basin and a cloth over here!" The singer obeyed, and Insano wiped the squalling infant clean before producing a pair a scissors out of his jacket and cutting the umbilical cord. "90s Kid, bring me a blanket."

Jade leaned against Linksano, panting. "What did I have?"

Insano wrapped the baby up, then grinned at the new parents. "Well, if I remember my anatomy classes, it's a girl." He gave them both a genuine smile. "Would you like to hold her?" Jade reached out, and Insano placed her daughter in her arms. "She's beautiful."

Jade and Linksano stared down at the infant. Without hesitating, Linksano pulled off his goggles. "She's got my eyes."

Jade nodded, tears of happiness in her own eyes. "Yeah. Hello, love." She gasped. "Linksano..I...she's it."

"What?"

Jade kissed her daughter's forehead. "The anchor. I can stay." Linksano laughed in relief and joy before kissing her.

90s Kid grinned. "Dude, that is the cutest baby ever. So like, what are you going to call her?"

Jade smiled. "Well, I had a name picked out, but I want to make sure it's okay with Harvey."

The singer looked confused. "Why?"

"Because...I want to name her after someone very special to you. I was thinking of calling her Charlene."

Harvey blinked back tears. "You...want to name her after my Charlie?" Jade nodded, and Harvey grinned. "Yes. Yes, of course it's OK with me. The world could always use another Charlie."

Jade nodded her thanks, then looked down at Charlene, who had gone to sleep. "When you wake up, little one, I'll introduce you to everyone properly."

Linkara ushered the others out of the room so that the new family could have some time alone.

Linksano moved so that he was lying next to Jade. He reached out, gently stroked his daughter's head, then kissed Jade. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The scientist placed a kiss on Charlene's forehead. "And I love you, my little one. Sweet dreams."

He draped his arms over them, and the two of them drifted off to sleep.

FIN.