Yay! Yay! Yay! My new story's up! It's called 'The Girl With A Different Side'. Please check it out if you have time! Remember what I said about trying to write a sad one for a change? Well I listened to the song 'Orphan' by Rin again and burst into tears at the end. (I do that a lot with Rin and Len). Sorry I'm not being original! So, here's Orphan!
I do not own Vocaloid or the song 'Orphan'.
I dedicate this to my anyone reading this who may be an orphan. Not necessarily a homeless one like in this story but maybe your parents just died and you live with someone else. Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket is an orphan but she still lives with her loved ones. :)
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Orphan
It's cold, so cold. I slowly open my eyes and stare up at the white, wintry sky. It is the first time in my life that I'm thankful it hasn't started to snow yet. When I was small, snow meant excitement. It meant running around building snowmen, making snow angels and running inside once your fingers where numb for a cup of hot chocolate. But not anymore. Now it would just be unbearable. Shivering, I tug at the thin cloth barely shielding me from the icy winds.
I hear a muffled cough and look down at the petit figure nestled close to me. She's getting so thin.I do try to make her eat but she rejects most of it, saying I need it more that her. Really, it's the other way round. I remove some hair from her face to reveal a ghostly, white structure. It pains me so to see my beloved sister in this state. I miss your warmth, Rin.
I shut my eyes again and remember, remember how pleasant life used to be. The beautiful smiles from my mother, father and sister. How we ate together, went out together and played together. The grand house we lived in with its spring green door, cardinal roof and garden full of lovely flowers. The glorious beach we lived right next to. Ah, the beach.
The beach was a truly special place to Rin and I. More or less everyday we would venture down there, seeing what we would discover this time. We didn't care weather it was Summer or Winter there, all the seasons were so pretty. It was almost like we grew up at the beach. Our parents would join us on weekends and we'd have picnics and splash in the sea. We were so happy back then, but it happened. Fate was so cruel to our family when we didn't deserve it.
It all started with one small accident in the kitchen and before you knew it, the whole house was up in flames. Rin and I rushed out waiting for our parents to follow. But they never did. Rin ran up to the burnt front door and tried to enter but I'd grabbed her hand, pulling her away just as the entrance collapsed. Scolding ashes sprung into the air but I covered up Rin by embracing her. They left some scars but I'd do anything to protect my twin.
We sadly had no other relations and there was no way Rin and I were going to an orphanage so we walked and walked, just going where our feet would take us. Rin cried a lot of the time, still grieving our deceased parents but I knew I had to stay strong for her. I haven't shed a single tear since the accident. Finally we found ourselves in a little town that we rather liked. We did our very best to ask for work but everyone turned us down, telling us to go home but of course we had no home to go to. Eventually we became too weak for work anyway and were reduced to living in a little alley where the light barely reaches.
Every morning we'd take it in turns to go to the town's market and steal a bit of bread. Not much, just enough to keep us going for the day. Sometimes, if we were really lucky, we'd manage to get our hands on a piece of fruit to share. Rin would always insist I ate more than her. Drinking wasn't much of a problem because the town had a fountain in the centre will relatively clean water. We just had to be careful that no one saw us drink from it. Also, someone had dumped an old mattress in our alley way and until then we'd been sleeping on the hard ground. It was a bit smelly but we were very grateful and it was now our little bed. The cloth we used to blanket us were some old curtains that were already in the alley when we'd arrived. We'd even found a little, old oil lamp on the streets. They sold plenty of fuel at the market and that was something else Rin and I took.
This had all been going on for about four years now and we're more or less used to life like this. But it's still nice to dream of living a life like the one we used to have. When Rin's feeling extra down I enchant her with my tales of how one day, we'll get off the streets, become rich and own a luxurious mansion. We'd have servants, a huge garden full of the most beautiful flowers, be able to spend hours on the beach and best of all, have a ballroom. At that point in my story it was my cue to stand up, hold out my hand and say, "May I have this dance?" We'd twirl round and round our little alley way, in our own little world, forgetting about our harsh surroundings.
I'd then hug Rin close to me and say, "We will dance properly one day. With music, fancy clothing, a stage, everything!"
Rin would then chuckle and say, "I promise that even if the end comes before that happens, the last thing we'll do together is share a special dance meant only for the two of us at a place we love the most."
I hear a clatter and turn my head to the side to find money on the ground. I sit up off our mattress, causing Rin to slide off me and look at the alley's opening. There is a little girl and a women who I guess is her mother staring at us. They look pitiful. It's nice to know some people care. I find it quite surprising people have money to spare since Christmas and New Year finished only a week ago. I scoop up the money, nod my head and say, "Thank you, so much." They nod back and walk off.
I felt movement beside me, Rin was waking up. "Shh, Rin. Go back to sleep," I say while laying back down.
"What was that about?" she whispers. She opens her eyes and looks at me. I try to ignore how her once aqua blue eyes were beginning to turn grey.
"Someone's given us some money. Isn't that nice?" I say as I place it safely under our tattered mattress. All my pockets have holes in them.
"Very!" she smiles. "How much?"
"Enough to get us a decent meal to share. Hey, when do you want to use it?"
"Tomorrow, please! Oh, tomorrow!" she pleads.
"Ok then," I say and kiss her forehead. "Goodnight."
"Good-," she gets interrupted by harsh coughing. Rin's been doing this a lot recently, bursting into a fit of coughs out of nowhere. I'm seriously worried about her. I rub her back since there's not much more I can do and wait for it stop. She finally calms down and brings her hand away from her mouth. I'm sure I hear a small gasp as she quickly puts her hand under our cloth. "Goodnight," she finishes. I wrap my arms around my twin and we both fall asleep.
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I wake up feeling even colder than the night before. I'm sure the temperature had almost reached freezing. I sit up and rub my eyes. "Morning Rin," I say but there's no reply. I look to my side to find no one there. "Rin? Rin where are you?" I ask while standing up to look around. I begin to panic as I can't see her anywhere. She would never just leave without telling me where she was going first. I wait about ten minutes and she's still not back. I want to cry but I promised myself I'd stay strong for her. Another five minutes past and I was about to go looking for her when I hear loud footsteps approaching.
"Len!" she calls as a small figure appears in the alley's opening. "I've got our bread," she says with a big smile.
"Rin!" I yell all of a sudden and her smile fades. "Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?"
"L-Len, I was just getting the bread," whispered Rin as she holds out the stolen bread. "It, it was my turn."
"But Rin," I sigh. "You've never gotten up that early just for the bread! Where've you been?" I am starting to loose my patience.
"I just woke up early, couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to go for a walk. I then went to the market to take the bread. I'm sorry I worried you," she apologizes while looking down, embarrassed. I can tell she's telling the truth from her tone. Sighing, I walk over to her and pull her in a tight embrace.
"J-Just don't scare m-me like that a-again," I stutter trying to hold back relieved tears. Remember Len, you have to stay strong for her.
She pulls away and looks me in the eye. "I can't make any promises, Len."
"But-."
"Now, weren't we going to use that money today? Should we use it for tea?" she asks eagerly.
"Yes, yes we should," I say with a grin and we dig into the stolen bread. After we finish I ask, "Rin? What do you want to do now?"
"I wanna go for walk!" she says.
"I thought you'd already been for a walk today," I say ruffling her hair with a grin. She makes that adorable pouty face which I can never argue to. "Ok, fine. We'll go for a walk!" I chuckle as we leave our alley. I link arms with her while walking, completely ignoring the odd stares people were giving us. I don't blame them, we must both look a state. But I don't care. As long as Rin and I are together, nothing matters.
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Rin and I gasp in horror as we return from our stroll. Everything…everything is gone! Someone's cleared out our alley way! Our little lamp is gone, the remains of our bread is gone, our blankets are gone and- oh no. I panic when noticing our mattress is gone too. Letting go of a shaking Rin, I run over to where the mattress had been and frantically search for our money. I can't see it anywhere.
I turn around to look at Rin, who had now collapsed to the floor. My heart sinks when I see tears streaming down her pale cheeks. I run over to her and put my arms around her, pulling her onto my lap as she sobs, "L-Len! I'm so s-sorry Len! It's m-my fault, all my fau-fault! If I hadn't o-of made us go for that wa-walk!" I hold her close to my chest as she bawls loudly, clearly very upset. "Oh, the m-money! L-Len our money!" she cries even louder and more hysterically.
"Shh, Rin. It's not your fault," I say soothingly as I cradle my weeping twin. But it doesn't seem to be working. "It's alright. It's not your fault," I repeat and she looks up at me with disbelief in her watery eyes. She's cried so much her face had actually regained some colour. "We'll get through this, you and me, like we have before ok?"
"B-But, I-I," she tries to say but begins sobbing again. Rin suddenly begins coughing violently once again. I try to stay calm as she begins to choke a bit too, since she can hardly breathe from all the sobbing. She lets go of me and covers her mouth with her hands. She finally stops and I sigh with relief but then look at her confused. Why did she just wipe her hands on the floor?
"Rin? What was on your hands?" I ask.
"Uh, just some phlegm I coughed up," she says with a sheepish smile. She's still hiccupping but thank goodness she's stopped crying.
"O-oh. Hehe, sorry," I say as I hug her again. She nestles happily against me and the next thing I know, she's fallen asleep on my lap. All the crying must of warn her out. I lean my head against the alley wall and trail my fingers through Rin's sift hair as I whisper, "Oh Rin, what are we going to do?"
After a while I notice it's becoming dark so I gently shake Rin. Her tired eyes flutter open and she looks up at me. "It's alright, I'll let you go back to sleep in a bit. But first, I think we should go and find something to sleep on. Do also want to find something to eat?"
"No food," she mutters quietly. "Just sleep." I nod, understanding how she's still recovering from earlier. I smile and hoist her up so we can go and look for something. We trail around the streets for ages, searching for decent sleeping materials. But all we found was a piece of cardboard someone had left outside their house.
Shivering from the cold night, we head back to our alley and lay down the cardboard. I suppose it's better than sleeping on the ground but Rin deserves better than this. I mean, there's barley enough room for one, let alone two! She sits down and pats the spot next to her but gasps from surprise when I sit on the cold floor. "Len don't you want to sit with me?" Her head then falls upon realisation. "Oh, I guess your mad at me."
"For the last time, I'm not angry. There's not enough room for me and you need it more than I do," I sigh.
Her eyes widen and she replies, "You're sleeping by me weather you like it or not." She grabs a fist full of my clothing and begins tugging at it. She's so weak that she's not even strong enough to shift my position even the slightest. But Rin's always been so stubborn and I knew quite well she'd be tugging at me all night if she had to. I decide to give in and squash up next to her on the cardboard. She grins with satisfaction as I lay down and she quickly follows suit. Oh Rin, why don't you let me take care of you?
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Brr, it's really chilly. I open my eyes and look to the sky. It was white all over, clearly telling us it would probably snow later. I glance to my side, expecting to find Rin but don't. I start to panic, thinking she'd gone off without telling me again. I turn by body over to thankfully spot her. However, I wasn't pleased at all with what I saw. Rin had moved herself completely off the cardboard and was lying at least four feet away from me on the cold floor.
I quickly get up and go over to her. I reach out to touch her cheek and my eyes widen upon feeling how cold she is. I am so angry with Rin at the moment. She keeps making things harder on herself just so I get the better. Why though? Why does she keep doing this to herself? I'm not worth that much am I? I gently pick her up with one hand around her back and the other under her legs. Her eyes open and she mumbles, "Len? What are you doing?"
"Putting you back on the cardboard. Baka, why'd you move off it?" I ask trying not to sound too angry.
"You deserve better than me," she says with a smile.
"Don't ever say that Rin!" I yell at her and she jumps from the shock. I look away from her and mutter, "Sorry."
"It's ok," she chuckles. "And anyway I'm going to…" She trails off.
"Going to what?" I ask looking back at her.
"Never mind!" she says quickly. Shaking my head I carefully lay her down on the dirty cardboard. She turns over on her right side so she's facing away from me and mumbles, "I'm just gonna sleep a bit more, ok?"
"Ok. I'm just going to get the bread alright?" I hear Rin mumbling something else and I guess it meant I had permission to leave. I lean over and kiss her on the cheek before I stand up and walk out of the alley. On the way to the market I couldn't help but think about the way her cheek felt. It was wet, she was crying again. There was defiantly something she wasn't telling me.
I arrive at the town's morning market which is as busy as ever. Rin and I use the same routine every time. You simply walk up to the bread stand, stand on the seller's right side, pat the seller's left shoulder, while they're looking the other way snatch a couple of slices and finally, make a break for it. We hadn't been caught once! I guess I do feel kind of bad about stealing but it's to keep us alive so it can't be all that bad, right?
After I get the bread I make my way back to our alley. As I approach it I begin to hear something. It sounds like someone coughing. Crap, Rin again! I start to run and just as I'm a couple of seconds away the coughing stops. I pop my head around the corner of the alley's entrance to find Rin, sat up against the wall staring at her hand with a sorrowful look in her eyes.
"Rin?" I say making her jump. "Got the bread!" I smile while holding it up.
Rin just stares at me for a moment. I want to ask what the matter is but she speaks first saying, "No, I don't need any." I didn't know what to say. I was sick of this now! Why wont she eat?! I got ready to tell her off but she stands up, walks over to me and smiles. She then takes my hands in hers, forcing me to drop the bread as I gasp in horror. Rin's hands were covered in blood. I begin to shake, realising time for her is now so short. She leans her head closer to mine and whispers in my ear, "But I do need this."
With that she took off, her right hand and my left still connected. What is she doing? I don't have the slightest clue where she might be taking me. We crash into multiple people but that doesn't stop Rin, she just keeps on running. As she drags me through the crowds, all I can stare at are her bloody hands. Why didn't you tell me Rin? I might have been able to help! Now I feel a fool for not being more strict with her. Really now, where was Rin taking me?
We seemed to have been bounding along for ten minutes at least now and I was exhausted. I'd hate to think how Rin feels at the moment. Finally we arrive at our destination and Rin falls to her knees, panting. I take a deep breath and look around, taking in where Rin had brought me. It's…it's a beach! Rin had brought me to a beach! It was lovely here, the air was so fresh and the sea looked amazing reflecting the snowy clouds. Then I remember our promise.
"We will dance properly one day. With music, fancy clothing, a stage, everything!"
"I promise that even if the end comes before that happens, the last thing we'll do together is share a special dance meant only for the two of us at a place we love the most."
I put on my best smile and walk over to the panting Rin. I hold out my hands and ask, "May I have this dance?" She looks up at me, smiling that I'd understood. She takes my held out hands and we begin to glide. We twirl around and around, not having a care in the world except that we were here with each other. After a few minutes of dancing, Rin begins to loose her footing. I wrap my arms around her waist tightly to support her as she holds onto my back.
Suddenly, I feel something cold touch my cheek. Looking up to the sky, I realise it is snowing. It is such a beautiful sight. Rin had noticed too and when I look at her she whispers, "As if to signal the end."
I stared at her in horror. "NO!" I yell and hold her even tighter. "Rin, I can't loose you! You can't go!" I look her directly in her fading eyes and for the first time since the fire, my eyes fill up with tears. I begin crying my heart out, more than Rin had wept the night before.
She just strokes my hair lovingly and says, "Len, I can't hold on much longer. You have to let me go." Her knees give way and she just rests in my arms. Still sobbing, I gently lay her down onto the sandy surface and kneel over her. "Look at the snow, Len. We were dreamers, dreaming that life would get better. But no, it just got worse. The snow falling here represents our fallen dreams."
That only makes me cry harder and I whimper, "Rin, don't leave me. I need you with me. Please…" It wasn't fair. Why did she have to go and not me? I'd failed her as a brother. I was supposed to keep her from harm's way and keep her happy. I wanted to give her the world.
"Do y-you know why I re-rejected all those th-things you offered?" she asks starting to struggle with her breathing.
"No," my voice quivers as I take her now cold as ice hands. "I never understood."
"I-I always gave th-them to you be-because you are s-such an amazing p-person who always makes m-me fell happy n-no matter wh-what," she whispers and I notice tears prickling in the corners of her eyes. "I c-can't ask for a b-better brother." The grip on her hands were slowly loosening.
"Oh, Rin," I sob as even more tears flow.
"Len," Rin says, lifting a shaky hand slowly up to my face and cupping my cheek. "I love you."
I lean down, close my eyes and kiss her forehead. "I love you too, with my whole heart." I open my eyes and look at her face. Her eyes were closed, her palm was no longer on my cheek and her chest was no longer moving. "N-No…" I whimpered. "No Rin! Come back! Please Rin, come back to me! You can't go!" That was all I could let out before I broke down into hysterical tears, grieving over my twins lifeless body.
I'm sorry it had to end like this for you Rin. I can feel my heart shattering inside my chest. I'd give anything to switch positions with her at the moment. How I'll live without her, I don't know. All I know now is that Rin, I'm sorry and I'll never forget you.
I love you, Rin.
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TOT I don't think I've written anything this depressing in my whole life! As you could see, it was rather different from the song e.g. they remembered what their parents looked like, they had a mattress and lamp, Len was the one who let out his tears for the first time instead of Rin. I just felt bad about not being original so that's why I did my own little version. Oh and BTW it was never supposed to be this long but once I started writing it, I just couldn't stop!
So how was my first time at writing something sad? (I know Homework was a bit sad but it had a happy ending.) Personally, I think it's my best one from Bows and Bananas so far. I've improved on detail! Lol I cried when I wrote this but that's just because I'm very emotional today. Don't quite know why though.
PLEASE review! :)