My mother realized something was wrong as soon as I entered our apartment. I really didn't feel like talking to anyone and I knew my mother would bother me about it until I tell her. To avoid that I told her I already ate something on my way home and I wouldn't be hungry for the rest of the day. I also told her I got a massive headache so I would rather sleep a bit and asked for no distribution. I pushed myself into my and Kari's room. My eyes were stuck on the screen of my mobile phone. A voice inside of my head told me I wouldn't receive any text messages from Matt anyway so I don't need to look at the screen non-stop. After all he was right. I really acted like the biggest jerk and if someone needs to write something to the other it would be me. An apologize would be it. There's no way I could do that! I am way to stubborn to admit I made a mistake. But on the other hand I wanted to tell him I am sorry and maybe I over reacted a bit. Ok, no. I know I over reacted a lot!
I must have doze off again since the last thing I can remember was the phone I held in my hands over my face while lying down on my back in the bed, crashing down on my nose.
I lay the phone away and rubbed my nose. There was no explanation other then that I fell asleep and lost the grip on the device. I lifted myself up to sit on the edge of my bed. I couldn't stand it anymore. Not the lying down but the fact that I know Matt was still mad at me because I am a coward and don't have the guts to tell him that I am sorry, even though I really am.
I was frustrated and threw my face back into my pillow. How could he not see that all I wanted was him not to be with someone else? I let out an annoyed groan. A few seconds later I lifted my face up again and hugged the pillow while picking up my phone. Somehow I managed to throw it off of my bed.
I typed "sorry" into it and hit the sent button. That's so stupid but I really couldn't come up with any more than that. I am not good at apologizing but, fact is I don't need to apologize that often anyway.
After five minutes without a reply I typed again. "Can I come over?" But again I got no reply. I can't believe I messed everything up! I suddenly had the urge to throw up. But there was it. My phone made a sound. I got a message.
Smiling a bit I opened my inbox to look who wrote the message. It wasn't what I expected. It was just a text from someone of our class asking if we had any homework for tomorrow. I groaned again but this time louder. I didn't answer the message and placed my head on the pillow again.
Another sound. Another text. I got angry thinking it was that guy again. But this time it was from someone else.
"Yamato" I smiled at myself. He actually answered. I was relieved even though I didn't even know what he wrote.
"Sure." That might not been much, but it was an answer and that's all I hoped for. Another Message from Matt. "Have you eaten yet?" I couldn't help it and hugged my pillow. "He still cares about me…" a smile appeared on my lips.
O.k. honestly I knew he wouldn't be mad at me for long. He wasn't the kind of guy who holds a grudge at anyone longer than a day. But I am glad he is like that. I couldn't stand it if he would be angry with me like that for long. Admitting he looks really adorable whenever he is mad and I do teas him just so I can see him grumpy. Angrily biting his lower lip because he knows that he wouldn't be able to ignore me for long. But a real fight is a whole other story.
I stood up and changed my clothes into something more comfortable. Some lose pants and an old shirt should do it. But then it hit me like a rock. I forgot to answer him! "No. but I would love to 3" I hit the sent button as I realized I just send him a crappie heart emoticon. And again, great job Taichi. Let's just hope he will ignore it.
I put on my jacket and left, yelling a short "I'm at Matt's" while smashing the door shut.
It took me a while to arrive at the front door of the building he lived in. It has been getting cold lately. Fall was about to come and many leafs already fell down from the trees. I rushed the stairs up and nearly tripped over my own feet. On the end of the staircase I remembered I could have easily taken the elevator. It would have saved me much energy but oh well.
After a few seconds of 'where did I put the key as I left' I finally found it and put it into the keyhole. I turned it around and opened the door.
It was surprisingly quiet in there. Not making a single sound I closed the door behind me and put my shoes into a shelf next to the door.
I made my way towards Yama's room. As I opened the door I found him lying in his bed. He was lying on his side facing my way. A second look made me notice his eyes are closed and his mouth is opened just enough for him to breath slow and peacefully.
I sat down next to him and stroke over his forehead with one hand to wake him up, though I have to admit that just watching him sleep like that would be fine too. His soft pink lips formed into a small smile as he cuddled himself a bit more into the blanked around his body.
"I'm sorry but I was really tired." His voice was weak and quiet which made it easy to know what he indeed was tired. "Don't worry about it." I nuzzled my forehead against his which made him giggle a bit.
Without thinking to much about it I lay down next to him and placed my hand on his waist. "Aren't you hungry Tai?" his eyes were closed and he slowly moved towards me to cuddle up against my chest. I could feel his hot breath against my still cold skin underneath my shirt.
I didn't wanted to think to much about how near he was right now. "Don't worry I am fine." I stroke my spare hand over his hair. At this rate it was only a matter of time until we both would fall asleep.
A delicious smell woke me up. I took a look at the clock and an hour already passed. I took another look around and noticed that Matt wasn't with me anymore, which could only mean that he is the cause of the smell. I got up and went out to follow the smell. It leads me right into the kitchen but before I could even check it out Matt already walked out of it with a bowl of curry in one of his hands and a spoon in the other.
He wore a light blue apron which matched his eyes. Whenever he was in the kitchen you would see him with that apron. And again all I could think about was how cute he looked. The thought 'perfect wife' crossed my mind once again but the sound of the bowl being placed on the table made me snap out of it.
Matt turned around and looked at me with his dreamy blue eyes. "mhh. Good morning sunshine." He smiled and placed one hand on his hip and the other on the backrest of the chair infront of him. " I thought you could be hungry by now." Talking about a prefect wife, huh?
Sometimes it was really unbelievable how caring Matt really was. And he was like that all the time. No wonder I fell for him and not some pretty girl at out school.
I tried to open my mouth and say something but all I got out was a large yawn. He laughed and pushed the chair back to offer me the seat. I didn't hesitate and sat down. While he put the apron away and cleaned the kitchen a bit I managed to easily clean the whole bowl. It really wasn't hard to do so since he made the best food humanity would ever taste.
He sat down in the chair in front of me and looked at me as if he expected something. I leaned back into the chair and looked at him quite confused. At this point I already forgot why I wanted to visit him and about my shitty attitude from earlier. "hm?" he was still looking at me and that's all I could come up with. "I don't know. How about 'I am sorry Matt for being a jerk'" he gracefully placed his chin inside of his hands.
I blushed and couldn't look at him anymore. Not because of the way he moved or looked at me but because I remembered everything. " I am waiting Tai…"
I really wanted to apologize but the words, once again, just fell out of my mouth against my will "Well I guess you have to wait longer." He rolled his eyes "See, I won't apologize for something I meant exactly the way I said it" he continued to look at me with a pair of blue opals "It's true after all" I still faced my lap and played a bit with my hands under the table. I could feel that my face turned bright red and I knew it wouldn't fade anytime soon.
He didn't turn away. Just kept looking at me. "is that all you're going to say?" I looked up at him even though I knew I was still bright red. I mean I basically told him how I felt about him and I have no idea if he realized it or not. "Yes."
He got up and placed my bowl into the sink with other dishes. Matt just opened his mouth to say something as his father busted through the door. "I'm home" "Yea we've heard it." Yama took another fresh bowl out of the shelves and put it down. "Wow Hiro you're late today." I looked at the older men as he clumsily slipped out of his shoes. "Yea we had lot things to do today..." he sat down at the table and awaited the bowl of food which his son brought him rather quickly.
After that really short conversation with his father Matt looked back to me and asked me the question he wanted to ask me earlier already or at least I guess so. "Any plans on what you're doing today?" I shook my head "It's not like much of today is left anyway" He nodded and casually leaned against the table. "Think of something…" he faced me again as he spoke.
Thinking of something? But what could we do now it's already pretty late. "How about we just go out a bit? Getting some fresh air or something?" I didn't know if that was what he wanted to hear but he nodded again "Sure, sounds good." He straightened his back and walked towards the wardrobe to get his jacket. I stood up and followed him to get myself ready too. The same exact moment Matt opened the door Hiros voice arose "Taichi, I would like to talk with you a second could you come over?" I was kind of surprised. Yes, we were something like friends but somehow that was odd.
Confused as I was I walked over to him while Matt already made his way out of the flat and waited for me in the hallway.
"Sit down." I did as he told me and pushed the char next to him back to take a seat. "How has your day been?" What? Was that all he wanted to talk about? Even though I thought it was odd I answered anyway "Uh. It was complicated" I a waited him to speak again but he didn't. I was about to stand up as his voice rang once more "I am not finished yet" "Oh. I'm sorry I didn't know." But even after I made myself comfortable on the chair again he didn't speak.
The moment became more awkward the longer the silence lasted. "You like him don't you?" His voice sounded calm and quieter than usual. It took me a moment to fully realize what he just asked me. "What?" my voice cracked. "Matt. You like him don't you?" I could feel my face heat up. It was almost as if Satan himself came up from hell and set fire to my cheeks. My tongue felt numb and I didn't know how to respond. My actions seemed to talk for me though.
"I knew it!" he continued with a victorious undertone. "Well it wasn't that hard to figure out…" I couldn't believe what he just said. Everything seemed so unreal. Was it really so obvious that I liked him? "I…" stuttering and bright red I sat in front of him. Not knowing where to put my hands I started to play with my thumbs underneath the table. Nervously I managed to open my mouth again "Yes…" afraid of how he might react I began to claw my fingertips into the palm of my hands. My lips went dry and I had to lick them certain times to keep them wet, but with an even drier mouth it wasn't quite that easy. I could hear my heart beat fast and loud and barely had any salvia left for swallowing.
Hiro smiled at me "Like I said I already knew it" I lifted my face to meet his eyes. The moistness I lost inside of my mouth was now all over my hands and my voice was still shaking. I've never been so nervous in my whole, oh so short, teenage life. "How, uhm… how long did you know?" "For a while. Seriously Taichi if you want to hide it you should try a bit harder." But he was wrong "I don't want to hide it." Hiro looked at me with confusion in his eyes which made me feel like I needed to explain it to him. "I mean..." I swallowed before continuing my sentence "I want him to know how I feel." Thinking about what I just said, and even worse, to whom I just said it made my face blush once more. If it wasn't Hiro I guess I would have denied it but he knew me way to long and way to well already. He could tell if I lie anyway so just thinking about trying would be useless.
A loud cordially laugh escaped his lips "Don't worry. I'm ok with it." "Really?" My eyes widen. Did he just tell me he would be ok with me dating his son?
"Of course! It's not like much would change anyway" I couldn't help it but smiled. That's like a freeway ticket right into Yama's arms. And Hiro was right. It's not like much would change between the both of us. Well ok maybe a kiss or two and a bit more touching and… I came to the conclusion that right now wasn't the right moment to think about anything that might could happen between me and Matt. A daydream was the last thing I could need right now.
"So don't you want to go now?" My eyes met his "Huh?" "You know Matt is still waiting outside for you" Hiro smiled as I jumped up from my seat. "Right! Thank you Hiro!" I bowed my head down a bit to show my respect towards him and rushed out.
Like expected, Matt was still in front of the door waiting for me to return. Another smile crossed my face as he looked up to me. "What did he suddenly wanted to talk about?" Matt raised an eyebrow slightly and placed his hands on his hips like usual. "Never mind" My smile was still stuck on my face "Let's just go, shall we?" I even kept smiling while walking towards the elevator with him.
It seems like my smile didn't fade the whole walk we shared as he stopped in the middle of the streets and awaited my reaction. I turned around just to find him smiling the sweetes smile at me in return. "I have no idea what Dad told you but you are happy about it." I turned around and shot a short "Yea" at him as an answer. "Mind telling me" he took a few steps so that he would stand next to me again while we began to walk again. "Nah. You'll, eventually, find out soon enough."
I grinned into the night knowing that one day he will know. He will know how much I really like him. He will know why I reacted the way I reacted earlier. He will know why I am smiling like that right now and why I always smile when I see him. Why I enjoy just listening to his voice and why I want to spend every free minute I have with him and only him.
And if I am lucky he will even return my feelings. For now I was more than happy how everything turned out. I knew I would be able to sleep really good tonight.
While me and Matt walked side by side through the cold autumn air of Odaiba we were able to talk about a lot of things. Unimportant things, School, stupid jokes I someone told me,
things that made me angry and some things that made Matt rage. A usual conversation between friends.
He told me something about his band. I felt bad for not really listening to him but my mind was fixed onto something else. Was it really so easy for someone to tell that I love him? I mean, I don't try to hide it but… if Hiro said it was easy to tell, what if others could tell too? What if our friends all already knew about my crush? And even worse what if Matt knew the whole time but didn't want to say anything yet? What if he knew but didn't feel the same? That could be the reason why he didn't want to talk about it.
I tried to shake the thoughts off and began to listen to him again. But I couldn't let them go for the rest of the night. I knew I would have to tell him about my feelings towards him sooner or later. And later wasn't really an option. How do you tell your best friend you loved him ever since though?
After a few minutes we arrived at the front door of the building in which Matt's apartment was. He asked me if I wanted to stay overnight but I waved it off. I needed to think about a lot things and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to concentrate while he's around me. Of course I didn't told him. He waved a short goodbye and entered the building. I watched him leave and began to do the same.
The moment I arrived home I decided a hot shower would be a great idea and going to bed afterwards would be good too. So I did as I told myself and after 30 minutes I already managed to be in bed. I fell asleep rather quickly but I couldn't get my mind off of the fact that everyone around me could already know that I have a thing for Matt.