AN: So on a side note, how sexy the boys of the Shield looked last night at the Slammys all dressed up! *_* I mean whew, Holy Hotness. Anyways, enough of my fangirling, enjoy! ^_^
Chapter 7
So the next day, the three went through with the next (and most important) stage of their plans as they headed to the nearest CVS to buy the supplies that they needed. Dean headed to one aisle and eyed down two boxes - Rat Attack and Rat Out. Looking them over to see which would be more effective, he shrugged and decided on the Rat Out.
Meanwhile, Roman had headed to the gardening aisle and picked up a pair of binoculars, looking through them to see someone's luscious ass from a short distance. Smirking, he put the binoculars down to see who he was looking at...and it just happened to be a male employee stocking some plants on a shelf. Feeling awkward now, Reigns slowly placed the binoculars down before quickly scurrying away.
In the meantime, Seth had brought a few odds and ends until he reached a huge peanut display which read '3 for $2.49'. "Sweet!" he muttered, but instead of taking three, he basically shoved the entire shelf into his small little basket, destroying the display at the same time.
As the three made their way out to their cars, Dean and Roman eyed down the 5 bags that Seth carried. "Jesus, Seth, it's a murder, not a cocktail party." Reigns told him.
"Hey, you don't have to announce that to the world, okay? There was a great deal on nuts, I'm not gonna pass up on a sale like that!" he argued.
"All right, all right, so this is it." Dean announced. "I'll deal with Bischoff, Seth, you deal with Laurinaitis, and Rome, you get some intel on Kelly."
"All right." Reigns nodded along with Rollins.
"See you on the other side." Seth agreed.
Once they all stepped in their respective cars, Roman easily pulled off, while Dean and Seth tried pulling off at the same time and nearly got into a head on collision at the same time. Another car was trying to get a spot and had to maneuver around both their cars, while Seth waved an arm out for Dean to go first. Once he left, the third car tried to get a spot in and nearly hit Seth's car from behind. Again.
Later that same evening, Roman had pulled up across the street from Kelly's house, eagerly awaiting to get some intel on her. Meanwhile, Dean parked in front of Garrett Bischoff's house once again, looking across to see a few of his hookers leaving the building, before Garrett eyed them down and headed back inside. Back at Kelly's place, Roman whipped out the binoculars that he'd brought to see the blonde pull into her driveway, and seeing her for the first time, Reigns chuckled devilishly, seeing just how hot she really was. "Oh, ho ho..." She bent down to pick something out of her trunk, and seeing her round, luscious ass in perfect view, well, it was beginning to turn him on. While she paid him no mind and headed inside of her house, Roman's cell went off, snapping him back to reality. "Oh! Shit..." he fumbled to pick it up. "Yeah?"
Dean was on the other line. "Hey, how's it going with Kelly? What do you know about her?"
"I've learned that I gotta switch dentists, because this woman is unbelievably hot." he replied. "How's it going over there?"
"It's uh...just...I'm just waiting for Bischoff to, y'know, sleep or...leave, or...just waiting." Ambrose replied, a bit nervous. "I wonder what Seth's doing with Laurinaitis."
"This is gonna be hard. But I'm gonna work at this everyday to do that because I want you." a man said on the portable DVD player that Seth had brought with him. He sniffled and tried to fight back a few tears as he watched the movie. "I want all of you. Forever, you and me, everyday..."
Seeing a light come on from Laurinaitis's place though, Seth closed the DVD player and turned his attention to the house.
Inside, Laurinaitis looked around suspiciously, then went to his wife's closet. He opened it and began looking through her clothing, and then went on to sniff one of her dresses, to where his eyes narrowed. He sniffed himself, then compared it to the scent of the dress. Unsatisfied, he continued searching around the room for any incriminating evidence. Suddenly, the ringtone 'Kung Fu Fighting' was heard somewhere on the floor, while Laurinaitis looked on in confusion, and found the source of the sound to be under a chair. The gray cat who had scared Dean earlier was reaching under to grab it, when he grabbed it first. "Gimme that. Give me." He reached under and grabbed...Bischoff's blackberry. Looking more suspicous than ever, he turned it on and scrolled down the contacts list to "HOME", which showed Garrett Bischoff's name and address. Laurinaitis's face turned beet red. Oh, it was on. Moments later, Laurinaitis's Porsche pulled out and zoomed up the street, while Seth quickly ducked down as he sped through. Still scooched down, Rollins quickly grabbed his phone.
Meanwhile, Dean continued to watch as Bischoff performed a series of sweaty kung fu moves in a full-length mirror. "Jesus, where does he get the energy?" Ambrose muttered before he paused. "...Oh yeah."
In the meantime, Seth had entered Laurinaitis's house not long after he'd stormed out of there, and with his peanut jar in hand, he quietly crept through the place while searching for the restroom. Slowly opening the last door in the hall-
"MEOW!" the gray cat leapt out at him.
"AAAAHHHHH!" Seth shrieked, nearly stumbling into the bathtub. With his chest heaving, he looked around and cried, "What the fuck was that?!" Then, he turned to the shampoo bottle resting beside him, and held both that and the peanut jar in his hands. "Ok..ok...I can do this..." he tried to assure himself.
Meanwhile, Dean continued watching outside Bishoff's house, and was feeling more anxious than ever. "Ok...ok...I can fuckin' do this..." he also tried to assure himself, looking at the box of rat poison he carried. Moments later, his cell rung. "...Yeah, Seth?"
"I don't think I can do this." he replied, sitting on the edge of the tub, still clutching the peanuts jar. In the meantime, Dean sat there frozen, while little did he know, Laurinaitis's truck pulled up behind his car. Seth continued, "I know you hate Laurinaitis, but I don't think I can go through with it, man."
"Yeah, I-I know, I've been thinking the same thing." Dean agreed, nodding.
"Yeah, let's just call it off."
Dean froze though, once he saw his boss strolling across the street. "What the fuck?" he whispered.
"What?" Seth replied.
"It's Laurinaitis, he's here!"
"He's at Bischoff's? Why?"
"I don't know, he's at the front door."
"You think he's on to us?"
"How the fuck do I know?"
Across the street, Laurinaitis had knocked on the door, and moments later, Garrett appeared in the doorway. "What?" he asked. Johnny handed him his phone back and then swiftly pulled out a gun, shooting him square in the chest. Dean, in the meantime, nearly jumped out of his skin in shock. He quickly ducked down. "Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ, Laurinaitis just shot Bischoff!" he cried.
"Are you sure?"
Bischoff's body was already on the ground, but Laurinaitis shot him once more for good measure, before casually walking off.
"Holy shit!" Ambrose cried. "He opened up the door, Laurinaitis shot him once in the chest. He fell down, he shot him again in the head."
"He got him? He GOT him?! Wait, what's going on? I don't understand!" Seth cried while Dean's eyes widened at the sight of Laurinaitis heading his way. "Dude, what's going on? Dean? Dean? Dean, Dean, what's happening?!"
Fortunately, Laurinaitis missed Dean hiding in his car and stepped back into his own, before quickly driving off.
"What's going on with Bischoff, how's Bischoff doing?" Seth cried, nervous as hell.
"He's still pretty fucking dead, Seth." Ambrose replied. "Look, I gotta get outta here before somebody sees me. Meet me at the bar, I gotta call Roman."
"Yeah, I'll meet you there. I may throw up a couple times in the toilet first, but then I'll meet you there." Rollins nodded, hanging up.
In the meantime, Dean shuffled to slip on his seat belt, before rushing to hand-crank the damn window closed. "Ohh...oh, Toyota." In Laurinaitis's house, Seth shuffled to place the shampoo and everything back where it belonged, while out in the road, Dean sped his car through an intersection, not seeing the camera up above catching him speeding, and the deer-in-headlights look he had on his face while he fled the scene.
Later that night, in Bradford's bar...
"Okay, let's all stay calm, we'll figure this out." Roman announced, joining his two terrified friends.
"Yeah I'll stay calm, a guy just fucking got shot an hour ago." Dean huffed, crossing his arms.
"Well hey, he was gonna get killed, anyway!"
"I don't know about that." he shrugged. "I don't know if I had it in me."
"Me neither." Seth agreed. "I freaked out, I panicked, I got outta there."
"What?!" Reigns demanded, shocked. "Are you fucking kidding me? You can't change a plan like this at the last second!"
"Look, Reigns, when it came down to it, do you think you could kill Kelly?" Dean demanded.
He looked down and shrugged a bit. "...I don't know. I don't know, maybe you're right. It is a little hard to imagine killing her now."
"Now?"
"What does that mean?" Seth demanded.
"You sleep with her?" Dean snapped.
"No! No!" Roman cried defensively.
"You said you wouldn't sleep with her, dude!" Rollins cried.
Dean shook his head in disappointment. "You're such a fucking mess!"
Roman sighed. "I know! I know! But this time it wasn't my fault. I swear to God!"
"Well, you'll absolutely be a suspect if you kill her now!" Seth exclaimed.
"Ok, listen. At first I was surveying her, like I was asked to do." he explained.
"That WAS all you were asked to do!" he exclaimed again.
"She is incredibly hot."
Rollins punched him on the arm. "Don't talk about how hot she is, you fucking God damn bastard!"
He continued, chuckling a bit. "So fucking hot! She really is hot. Next thing you know, she starts deliberately undressing. In front of her window, with her lights on! Come on! It's like she knew I was watching her."
"What does 'deliberately undressing' mean?" Seth questioned.
"There were shoulder moves, I mean..." he talked over him, reliving the memory of Kelly slowly undressing by her window.
...
"She is clearly putting on a show."
Kelly entered her bedroom with a tray of food. She wore a skimpy kimono-style robe.
"Then, the next thing you know, she uh...she makes herself a little snack."
She sat on her bed and unwrapped a Popsicle, eating it as suggestively as humanly possible.
"Did she have an ice chest?" asked Dean.
"A popsicle."
Then, she picked up a banana and peeled it.
"Then a banana."
She eased the whole entire banana into her mouth.
"Come on!" Seth cried.
Lastly, she picked up a hot dog, eating it the exact same way.
"And finally, a hot dog! I mean, come on!" Roman finished, snapping back to reality.
...
Rollins quickly shook his head. "No, I don't believe your story."
"Three penis shaped foods! That...that can't be a coincidence, right? And eating them in that weird order? That's not proper meal." he finished, crossing his arms.
"It's cold and hot." Dean shrugged.
"Okay. Fine. So you took the penis foods as an invitation to fuck her?" Seth asked, unimpressed.
...
Flashing back, Kelly casually opened her front door and headed upstairs, while Roman tried to keep his composure and rushed out of the car, getting tangled in the seat belt at the same time. Once he was free, he headed up her driveway and removed his shirt while he rushed inside her place.
"No! No! God, no! No! No! I took her invitation to fuck her, as an invitation to fuck her. She like, lured me in!" Roman's VO explained.
Dean VO: "There's definitely something clinically wrong with you."
Seth VO: "You're a fucking whore!"
...
Back to today, Roman finished, "Ah, come on! That's not nice. Look, your problem's solved, she's not gonna mess with you anymore."
"Can we move on to the business at hand?" Dean demanded. "Let's talk about what happened to Bischoff tonight!"
Roman paced the room. "Alright. Okay. Let me think here. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Here's an idea; we call the cops with an anonymous tip."
Seth nodded. "Right."
"Alright. We tell them that Laurinaitis killed Bischoff. Boom! Laurinaitis's in jail, Bischoff's in hell, Kelly's had the crazy fucked out of her. And all three of us have our problems solved."
Dean nodded along. "Could work. An anonymous tip. That's not bad."
"Mmhmm."
"Gotta be from a pay phone, though. So they don't, y'know, trace back to us."
"Sounds good."
"Cool, let's take my car and let's go." Dean finished as the three headed out.
Once they settled themselves in, Roman asked, "So, where do you find a pay phone these days?"
"There's tons of them! Bus stations, I'm sure." Seth replied, buckling up.
"Oh, oh yeah."
But before they could leave the parking lot, the sound of sirens made them freeze where they were. An officer stopped behind them and climbed out of their car.
"Wait. What is this? What is this?" Roman cried, turning around.
"Is that for us?" asked Dean.
"Oh, shit."
The officer knocked on Dean's window, while he opened it about a half inch. "All the way down."
"Right there." Ambrose announced, stiffly looking around.
The officer inspected the car itself and the people who occupied it before asking, "You the owner of this vehicle?"
"I own it." he nodded slowly. "Yep."
"We got an APB on a gray Toyota Prius. License - two, W, A, Q, two, three, three."
"How come?" Seth asked.
"Hang on, man." Dean muttered.
The officer turned to Rollins. "...Did I talk to you?"
"Nope." he quickly replied, diverting his attention to the light on the roof of the car.
"So this is that car. Um, tell me how I can help." Dean continued.
"Well, traffic cam caught this car fleeing from the scene of a crime tonight. Do you know anything about that?"
"I don't know why it would do that." he shrugged. "I mean, I dunno...What happened?"
A pause.
"...Have you been drinking?"
"Nope." Ambrose replied quickly.
"I can tell there's alcohol in here."
"Nope, that's them."
"Me and uh, him.-Me." Roman and Seth replied at once.
"I'm gonna need you to follow us to the station."
"Officer." Roman began with a smile, and sticking out his fist, hoping to make conversation. "My man."
Moments later...
"...I cannot BELIEVE you talked me into this whole thing man, I cannot fucking believe it!" Seth snapped at Roman, as the three of them were now squished in the backseat of the cop car.
"Are you kidding me?! We were being hypothetical!" he argued back.
"Well, you were-I-"
"CAW CAW!" Dean began, trying to shut them up before the cops could hear them. Seth and Roman chimed in, realizing what he was doing. "CAW CAW! WOOF! WOOF! CAW CAW...WOOF."
Seth turned to Roman, raising an eyebrow. "Well, don't bark!"