Thanks for the new reviews!
And thanks to my friend for drawing this awesome new cover for my story, far better than my rabbit, don't you think?
„Master? Master, come in, please!" Why could he never answer when she called him? Was it seriously so difficult to wear a comlink?
Dammit, Anakin, she thought, you're never there when you're needed. And who had to do the job?
"Yes, Snips?" Ah, there he was.
"What have you guys been doing? We're starting dessert in a minute and the senators ask for yours and Master Kenobi's presence."
"We'll be right there, Snips. Just keep them occupied, okay?"
Snips alias Ahsoka sighed. Keep them occupied. Better said than done. The Crash Course about politics she once had gotten from Padmé about this subject was not up-to-date any longer, new problems had arisen in the republic, and Ahsoka could barely follow the conversation, not even thinking about entertaining the senators. Who was she, the jester?
Argh, curse you Anakin, for putting me into this, she thought inside her.
At least, three of the four senators were actually friends of her, so it was not that bad, only she felt sometimes so dumb when they were discussing about the next trade alliance, or the Hunger in the planets of the Outer Rim. And having Lux in the same room did not make it any better. Steela would not have been that dumb…
Why couldn't she just stop bothering herself about his dead girlfriend? It was over, and know Lux and she had to accomplish a mission. Duty comes first.
Duty comes first. Ahsoka tasted the words. She had never learned anything else, never thought about doing otherwise. Until her trial.
Since then, the world was different. Cause it had been shaken. Shaken hard. There were no longer the Jedi principles she had hold up so high.
Duty comes first. What if it wouldn't? What if she would come first for once? What would she do?
Maybe she could…
No, Ahsoka, stop this. Your duty comes first, a tiny voice resembling her own whispered in her head.
She sighed. At least for now. She had to get back in there.
So Ahsoka turned around with a fake smile to the two clones and slipped through the doors into the dining hall again, where a droid just served a caramelized strawberry-raspberry-crème, a chocolate cake decorated with several nuts from different planets and a vanilla waffles, topped with cinnamon whip, to the senators.
Even though Ahsoka was unhappy with her situation, the dessert made her mouth water. How unfortunate she was allergic to nuts, she would have really needed some chocolate right now to keep up her pretended grin.
"Ah, Ahsoka, it's great you're back. Will Master Skywalker and Master Kenobi at least join us for our dessert?" Ah Padmé, always with a smile on her face.
"Er… he told me he would be right there, Senator." What meant actually as much as they won't come.
"Well…" Padmé's smile faded "Let's begin then, they will join us any moment." Ah, Padmé, don't you know it better?
-/-/-
Anakin sneaked into Padmés quarters as he was sure nobody was watching him. He had no idea about what time it was, but definitely late as she had already turned out the light in their quarters and was apparently asleep.
Silently, Anakin took off his shoes and crawled onto the bed beside her. He wished in this moment, he could do this just every evening, lying side by side with her, and waking her up the next morning with a big cup of Hot chocolate, and when she'd look at him with her great brown eyes, she'd pull him closer and they kissed, spilling the Hot Chocolate all over them, and they would burst into laughter.
But he was not silent enough; "Ani?", Padmé mumbled sleepy. "Is that you?"
He kissed her in the neck. "Yes, my love."
"You have any idea what time it is."
"To be honest, no."
Padmé sat up, looking with a tiny smile at her husband. "Oh, Anakin. Where have you been at dinner, Ahsoka seemed quite annoyed about your missing."
"I… was busy." He hadn't planned on telling her about Obi-Wan's and his conversation, especially not about his master's breakdown. It seemed to be a secret between him and Anakin now, even though never said out loud.
"Well, Ahsoka didn't seem to be amused about that." She looked down at his face, and brushed a part of the hair out of it, softly touching his face with her warm fingers. "I missed you too, you know."
Anakin smiled soft and kissed her on the forehead, as she bended down. "I know, honey. I know. But you know as well that I'm there now." He put his arm around her, kissing her another time. "I'll always be there for you."
Suddenly, Padmé began shaking.
Scared, Anakin sat up straight, pulling her closer towards him. "Padmé, what is it? Have I said anything wrong?"
She just shook her sadly; "No, Anakin, everything is alright." But a tear was running down her cheek.
"Padmé, love; please tell me. How have I upset you?" Anakin brushed gently through her chocolate brown hair. He couldn't bear seeing her crying.
"It's just…" She sniffled. "I'm so frightened something could happen to you, now more than ever… Every time I hear rumors about you stranded or…" She apparently searched for words. "…or crashed in Seperatist space, cut from all reinforcements, I'm freaking out. I pretend to stay calm, but I'm so scared every time you leave for a mission, that this could be the last time I…" She stopped for a moment, taking deep breaths. "I…I see you alive, and, and…" She sobbed. "When you left Coruscant the last time, I hadn't even time to say goodbye."
"Ssshh…, Padmé. It's alright, sweetheart." Anakin tried to calm her down, until Padmé was only silently sniffing in his Jedi robe.
"What if you had died? And we not even had said good-bye?" She clung on his shirt. "What if you had died, Anakin?"
"Padmé… Don't cry."
She shivered. "Our child, Anakin… It needs a father…"
"It will have one, Padmé, don't worry, okay?"
"Promise me, you won't leave me without goodbye again, Anakin Skywalker, okay?"
"I'll promise."
"And that you won't get hurt."
"I'll promise."
"And especially not… not killed."
"Whatever you ask for my love."
"Swear."
"I'll swear, Padmé. For you and our child I'll swear that nothing will happen to me, you or our child."
"I love you so much Anakin, you know?"
"I love you too, Padmé. More than anything in the world."
-/-/-
Ahsoka's mind felt so clouded. She just couldn't concentrate.
What was wrong with her?
Silently, she stood up from the mattress in the quarters. Maybe she should just take a walk, yes, that would help. When she had tried to meditate, her mind had just not been able to get any clearer.
But she was a Jedi. Having a clear mind was as important for her as her lightsaber skills were in combats.
What had happened since she had entered her quarters? She had just tried to meditate… hadn't she?
Well, it hadn't worked obviously.
Ahsoka couldn't remember what had come after the doors had closed…
A glass of water should do the trick. Maybe she could try to find wherever the kitchen was on this amazing big ship. She should ask one of the guards.
Maybe she would even find him.
Why did always butterflies fly through her belly when she fought of him?
Nothing had ever happened between them… Well, nearly nothing… She had just saved his life, until he had cooperated with the deathwatch… they had fought against the Death Watch and she had saved his butt again… as he had still left her that night she had been upset, even though she knew it was the will of the Force … She had found him back on Onderon, gave him fight lessons and tried to rescue his girlfriend…
Had Steela's death been her fault? She had never allowed herself to ask this question, but she had fought a lot about fault recently. If she would have not tried to rescue Steela by the force and instead covered Lux, would she still be alive?
Well maybe it was not technically her fault, but what if she had decided otherwise? She had to think about what her master had told her. About the hundreds of possibilities our fates could take. Maybe her master would be dead if she'd left the order, or he would have more of his arm replaced by now then just the right hand.
Ahsoka moved hers. Every single finger. This worked at least already. She would see about the shoulder when the bandage was off.
With a zizz a door, which she had not realized before, opened in front of her and she stepped into a room full of fluffy red coaches and armchairs, apparently meant for chill-out-sessions.
Puzzled, Ahsoka looked around. How did she get here? She couldn't remember walking here… These lacks in memory worried her…
Then she saw the Senator at the big window, watching the Hyper Space, and her worries were gone. It was Lux, who else. As he heard the sound off the door, he turned around noticing her. "Hi, 'Soka. What are you doing here?" He sounded slightly surprised.
Ahsoka did not really know what to say. It was quite a good question, as she had no idea how she got here by walking around in her thoughts. "Well, I was just wandering around, you know. Couldn't sit still for meditating."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. This is why I came here. I hoped my mind would get a little bit more coordinated if the world around me is falling apart."
She approached him and looked out of the window as stars were flying by them. Yes, it was as if the world was falling apart. She remained silent for a few moments, until she took the word again: "What are you thinking of?"
"Different stuff. Mainly about…" But then he stopped and looked at her with a strange expression on his face.
"About what?"
He hesitated, before he continued a little bit too rash. "Er… politics. Yeah, this is my first great step in my career, so I have to be prepared."
With her best mystical Jedi voice she normally used to annoy Anakin, Ahsoka stated. "I sense something else is bothering you as well." Unfortunately, Ahsoka felt kind of dizzy still, so she couldn't interpret for 100% what was bothering him, what ruined the whole effect of her masquerade.
Lux' cheeks turned slightly red. "Possibly?" She felt the slight embarrassment within him.
Suddenly it dawned on Ahsoka. How could she have missed it? "Another girl?" Why did she feel a little peek in her stomach about this? "Well, this is wonderful, Lux. What is she like?" Her voice sounded fake again.
Lux, whose ears had caught fire, turned away from Ahsoka, focusing on the stars. "Well… She's brave. She's strong, but also compassionate. She can be harsh, but as friendly as flowers again. She can handle any situation, and if she falls she will stand up again."
"She sounds like an amazing woman." She sounded indeed. Better then Ahsoka could ever be – if she could only impress Lux like this girl apparently did.
"Yes, she is." Why did he sound so sad while saying this?
"Lux, what is it? Does she already have a boyfriend? Does she not like you?"
"'Soka, I better go to bed now."
"Lux, wait." Why was he leaving? "I'm sorry if you don't want to speak about this."
But Lux Bonteri had already half crossed the room. "Good Night, 'Soka."
"Lux." Ahsoka wanted to get after him, but suddenly she felt a pain like a burning metal stick running through her thoughts, making it unable for her to think.
What… was… that?
Her shoulder… It burned like it had when she got shot…
Pain…
Fire…
She was on fire…
Was this a hallucination?
She needed to get help…
Lux…
Lux, he couldn't be that far away.
"Lux!"
Oh god, who was attacking her?
Was this an attack?
She had to get her lightsaber, but she couldn't get it… It lied under her body and her body was on the floor… How had it got there...
"Lux!"
He had to hear her… Had to…
Why wasn't he coming?
"Lux, help me…"
But this wasn't much more than a mumbling sound as Ahsoka was drifting away into the realm of the shades and dreams…
Dun, Dun, Dun!
Yes, I love cliff hangers; I hope you love them too ;) Ah, possibly not, but we see again on Wednesday.
So, review, favorite and follow this story!
And you have seen some Luxsoka and Rexsoka by now, so you all can start giving me your opinion about them!
Don't forget to tell me your padawan choice, either one of the padawan arc (be specific!) or if you'd like or have an OC (I know some have already told me), I am working on one myself it the moment, you'd like to know him/her? By the way, if I had to choose one of the Padawan arc to be Obi-Wan's padawan later on, I'd choose Katooni.