Hey guys! Loving the feedback so far, keep it coming! So I'm getting out chapters ever couple of days at the moment because I've got time, but that's just because I'm off work and uni for a bit just now, Just to warn you, I'll try keep a good speed when I do go back to uni but it'll be a bit more difficult! Please dont let that put you off though, we're talking over a month until then anyway! Anyway, hope you like this one!
"You are an idiot."
"Hello to you too Quinn." He says, smiling at me through the glass. "Nice of you to finally come see me."
"I've been busy Puck. Sue me" I say, sighing down the stupid prison phone. "Life goes on."
"Or reverts backwards." He snarls. "Hows captaining the squad going? Any progress with Finn yet either? Get him and youll be right back to where you were this time last year, just like you always wanted."
"Don't you dare look down on me for moving on Puck. I can't spend every day obsessing over what's happened, I need to move on. I need to keep my grades up, pick up extra credit so I can maybe, just maybe, pull back my chances of going to a good school and getting out of this hellhole." I snap. "Would you rather I acted like you and ended up in here? All your doing right now is proving I was right to end things Puck, and that I was right not to keep her, you're not worthy of her right now.
I watch as he looks at me, hurt by my words. I know it's harsh, and I'm not saying it to hurt him. I just need him to understand that what I'm doing isn't wrong but what he's doing is. Even then, I know I'm being too harsh so I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. "What were you even playing at anyway?"
"I dunno. I was just angry after our talk and mom needed me to go to the store, and then I was driving and I didn't stop. By the time I realised what was happening I'd smashed through the wall of the store, and then I was like well why not just grab it and run, get away from everything here." He tells me, looking down at the desk in front of him and fiddling with the phone wire, clearly avoiding my gaze. "I know you don't want me around you Quinn, and it's kind of killing me to see you every day, see all the guys ogling you again, so I thought I'd do what I do well and be a coward. Be like my dad and run when it gets tough. It's in my genes. "
"Don't you dare try and leave me again Puckerman. Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean I will be tomorrow, or next week. And I'm only distancing myself from you because I want to move on and you don't seem to be ready to. And I cant ask you to move on if I'm not ready to, so maybe we need to move at our own paces." He looks at me, and I can really see pain in his eyes, and I hate myself for causing it. "As for our talk, I told you I was sorry for saying you were a loser and that she was better of without you. I didn't mean it. You know I didn't. I just did what I always do and lash out at everyone around me."
"I know Q, I know." He smiles, but it doesn't really meet his eyes. "Tell me honestly, what's the deal with Finn?"
"Nothing, Puck. There is no deal. He is very content with Rachel. What he told you about was me doing Rachel a favour. She thought he'd take me over her, but he didn't. Have to admit it was a bit of the kick to my ego though."
"So you don't want him?"
"No. At least, not really." I sigh as his eyes dart back to mine. "Finn was part of a perfect picture for me. But I don't know. You showed me that just because something looks perfect, doesn't mean it feels it."
"So you're in to me?" He asks, hopefully.
"Not this you. But the old you was my first real love. No matter what I do I won't really get rid of those feelings. I'll always feel my heart flutter when you look at me when you sing, or when someone else sings a song like The Only Exception in glee. And maybe that means we can work on something in the future. But who knows."
"Time." The guard says, and I know it's time for me to go.
"Please come back soon Q? I hate it here!"
"I will Puck." I say, and I know I will. But when, I don't know. I can't help but feel bad as I leave. I didn't mention Sam once. He tried to kiss me. We're supposed to sing together and he tried to kiss me. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him to. He's cute, I can't help but feel that. But it also feels like I'm doing what I seem to always do and cheat.
"I have to be honest with you Puck . And I really need to listen." I say, biting my lip. My stomach feels like it's being rocked by a swarm out butterflies.
"Okay, Q. what is it?"
"Oh god, I really don't want to say this. I'm sorry Puck, but I'm seeing someone."
"What? Who? If it's Finn!" he growls, his anger apparent.
"For God's sake Puck! It's not Finn! It's Sam."
"The guy who transferred? With the crazy sized mouth? HIM? REALLY?!" He shouts and I can see the guards approaching him already. I know I don't have much time.
"Yes Puck, him. I'm sorry. But we need to move forward. " And that's all I get to say before the guards drag him away yelling words I can't hear through the glass at me as he goes. I don't get to say anything else.
I can't tell him how Sam makes me feel safe. How he manages to stop me feeling bad about what happened last year. He's silly and goofy but he was the first one to tell me that he thought I was brave. Not stupid. He doesn't care what I did, he cares about how I reacted. And it was that that made me decide I needed him. Or at least, I needed to try. And then during Rachel and Kurt's duet I really listened to the words. And as cheesy as this sounds, I really do need to forget my troubles. If I keep focusing on Puck and Beth, I'll never move forward, and I have to.
"I'm sorry for last time." Puck whispers through the phone, and I see there's more guards this time than last. I guess that's what happen when a prisoner kicks off.
"What happened to your face Puck?" I say. I gasped when I saw him, his left eye blackened by what I imagine was another prisoners fist.
"It's rough in here Q. But don't worry I can handle it. You should see the other guy and all that" he winks, and I know he's lying but why ruin it for him? "So, you and Sam huh? I shouldn't have lost it last time. It was just a shock. But I guess he'll be good for you."
"Thank you. So, tell me about what you got going here."
"Puck, you're out!" I gasp across the hallway upon seeing him.
"That I am Q, that I am. Agreed to do some community service so they let me out early. Miss me?" He winks.
"That depends on how you act from here on really doesn't it Puck." I smile, and notice for the first time that Puck and I really don't know how to be civil with each other when we're not together. We've always been either hooking up, or hating on each other. We don't have an inbetween.
"I dont know how to be anything but in love with you Q" He tells me, pulling me to one side. "But I'm trying. I want to be your friend. And please don't go crazy, but I had a word with that Sam kid. He's okay."
"You did what?" I growl at him, letting my anger flare up in my eyes.
"I warned him that he has to be good with you is all. Not make mine and Finn's mistakes. That you've been through a lot, and that he can't push you to anything because if I hear he has, he'll be a Samantha when I'm finished with him" Puck looks at me with the most genuine look I'll ever see on his face, the same look he gave me after Beth was born, "I love you Q. I always will, and I won't do anything but protect you. And right now, I'm still looking forward to the day you mentioned in your letter. And I know it's coming. Whether its tomorrow, next week, year, decade, we will be back together."
"Thank you, Noah" I say, pretty much lost for words.
"I know you love me too Quinn, and I know Sam and Finn or anyone else in this world won't match it. I'm not being cocky, I just do. But I'm cool with waiting til you come to that same conclusion."
"I'll let you know when I do."
So, I'm not sure how I feel about this. This is kind of always what i imagined Quinn to feel when she was getting with Sam, that she was looking for safety. So that's what I tried to do here, but I want this to be about Quinn and Puck's interactions rather than what could kind of come out as a diary entry from Quinn. Did it work? This is different to all my other writing pieces ever, so I'm not too sure. Feedback would be great right now. Also, same as before if anyone has any ideas then just let me know! :)