Hey there!
I am so so so sorry about how long this has taken. It's ridiculous. I had no idea what I was gonna do with the story for a while, but I think I'm back on track. Anyway this is a continuation of it. Hope you like it. Ps, Lauren and Puck were just friends in this story, never a couple.
:)
"I cant believe he did that to you! I'll kill him for it Q, nobody gets to do that to you" Puck's snarls as we stand by the lockers. After my embarrassing moment of being dumped by Sam in the middle of the stage, I felt pretty ready to leave practice and the world behind only to be followed by Puck.
"Puck, I cheated on him."
"What? With Who?!"
"Unbelievable. The only time you don't jump to the conclusion and it's the time that it actually happened." I sigh. It's been less than an hour since Sam and I split – okay, since Sam dumped me – and I've already managed to run back to Puck. Puck, not Finn.
"Tell me your kidding, Quinn. Tell me you're joking!" He shouts, making me realise how public this conversation is as passerbys try to get the gossip.
"I'm not doing this here, c'mon." I say, grabbing his wrist and leading him to the choir room. It's always empty at this time anyway.
"I can't believe you, Quinn. I really can't. What about Rachel? What do you think she's going to say?!"
"EXCUSE ME?! What do you mean what about Rachel? You ruined Finchel in the first place! They'd still be together if it wasn't for you!" I yell. "I know I'm in the wrong here Puck, but don't you DARE make out I've done something you'd never dream of doing. We're both as bad as each other."
"Sorry. It's just. FINN! I told you this was going to happen for months. I told you! I could see it weeks and weeks ago. As soon as he forgave you, when we were still together I could see it in his eyes that he wanted you. But no, you knew better. You knew you were meant to be with Sam and you knew – "
"I never said I was meant to be with Sam. I never said nothing would ever happen. Nothing was happening, but now something has. And I'm sorry Puck, but it's not like you haven't done anything. You made out with Rachel, YOU'VE been sleeping with Santana since you got out of juvie, YOU have been through the entirety of the Cheerios AGAIN." I can't hide my exasperation, or the fact of how hurt I am that even after everything, he's still sleeping around. "Yes, I kissed Finn. Yes, I got mono. Yes, it was wrong but you do not get to lecture me as if you're a god!"
"Q, you know how much it kills me to see you with anyone. And you know I wouldn't do any of that if I was with you. You're worth a million cheerios. But I watched you dance with Sam at that wedding, walk around hand in hand with him, congratulate him on standing up for Kurt as if he was your hero. All I want is for you to do those things with me." He tells me, and I can see the emotion on his face, I can see that he feels like he's losing me just like I made him lose Beth.
"Noah, you did those things when we were together. I can't risk that again."
"So that's it is it? I messed up forever? Quinn, I can honestly swear on Beth's life that I would never cheat on you again. I can be faithful. Honestly I can. I'd marry you in an instant. I'd run away with you and never come back if you said you wanted to go now." He places his hand on my cheek, forcing me to really look at him. "I love you, Quinn Fabray. I love you more than I've loved anything else in my life. And I'll do anything to be with you again."
"Noah, please. I can't trust you. And I can't give myself to you if I don't. I just can't go through all of this again."
"Maybe one day?" He asks me, and I feel like it's our motto now.
"Maybe one day, Puck." I smile and leave him standing there.
After our talk, I feel like it's time to head home because, really it's been a pretty bad day. As I slide into my little red beetle, I pull out my phone to text Finn only to find Puck's already managed to text me.
"I meant what I said Quinn. I'll stay away from all girls until you're ready to come back. I don't care if it takes years. You're my world."
I can't help but smile, and I know that nobody else gets this kind of treatment from him. Everyone else sees Puck, I see Noah. I try to reply, but everything I write feels wrong. Do I love him? Yes. Do I want to be with him? Yes. But I can't. Because as much as I tell him this is about what he's done, it's not. It's about my decision. My choice to have Beth adopted. I ruined our family, and I can't forgive myself because I know how much pain I've caused him. And as much as he thinks I'll make him happy, I'm the one who's made him the saddest he's ever been.
I'm standing in Rachel Berry's basement. Why am I in Rachel Berry's basement. And I'm drunk. The last time I was drunk, I got pregnant. You'd think I'd learn, but I never learn. One year later and I'm exactly where I was last year. Dating Finn and drinking booze Puck gave me. Except nobody knows I'm dating Finn. Except Puck. God this is awkward. Why do I get myself in these situations? And to make everything even better Satan – sorry Santana – is mounting Sam in the corner. And then there's Puck hanging out with that Lauren girl. I don't know what's going on there. But he promised me. Not that that should matter now I'm with Finn. God this is just like last year. Finn keeps catching my eye across the room, I'm pretty sure Rachel's performance with Blaine is making him really uncomfortable. Well, it's making everyone uncomfortable. Puck really ruined my life. Like really. And he's standing there drinking in the corner having a blast. Well that's just him isn't it?! He always comes up smelling of roses. I take another drink. I'm going to go over there. Why should he get away with everything scot free?! It's just not fair.
"Okay. So maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him."
"You think?" Finn stifles his laugh.
"Yeah, pretty sure that was a bad move. But it's okay, there's still like a whole lot of hours for me to forget I did it. I just need more of something strong. Is there still whiskey?"
"How about we get you water? Finn smiles. We're standing in the kitchen now. I don't really remember the stairs. "Quinn? You in there? I really think you should drink some water sweetie, you're pretty wasted."
"I think I'm allowed to be. I've done lots of stuff that make people be drunk aaaallll the time" I giggle. Everything's kind of fuzzy. "my mom hasn't been sober since I came home and I've not drunk in a whole year so I deserve it. Whiskey please?"
"I think it might be time to go home. I'll take you now, not really feeling this party anyway. Just let me go tell them we're going okay?" He smiles and pecks my forehead. "On second thoughts let have you sit down okay? Just incase" and he helps me onto one of the breakfast stools then heads down the stairs to the others.
"You guys are just that perfect picture you were before aren't you?" Puck says, and I see he's standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
"How long have you been there? Why aren't you down having fun?"
"I go where you go Q, I mean it." He says really seriously. It's weird when he's serious. "If he tries anything, I mean anything you tell me okay? You're in no state for him to be starting things."
"I really do love that jacket, Noah. It makes you look hot. You have such a good look. You know, with the Mohawk and all. I think that's why I liked you in the first place. I've like you for ages and ages. I do love the mohwak too. And your truck. Oh screw it, I just love you okay?" I say, and I can feel myself crying but I don't know when it started.
"I love you too Q! More than anything in the world and it makes me the happiest man ever to hear you say it to me." He sighs. "Can we please just stop pretending that this isn't meant to be and get back together already? Look at yourself, I know you hurt as much as I do. We need each other in this."
"I can't. Not yet. Not until I'm not mad anymore." I say, sniffing.
"I told you I'd never do anything like again. And if you love me then it's time to do this!"
"I'm not mad at you Noah. I'm the one that ruined this." I say, and my crying's getting worse. I know I shouldn't be saying this. I know I'll be really angry in the morning. And I think I can hear Finn coming back.
"What do you mean, Q?" He's looking at me, and I can see into his soul, even though I can't see straight.
"I really do love you" I whisper, and kiss him like I haven't for months. I've missed everything about kissing him. It really doesn't compare to anyone else. But it's cut short because I can hear Finn coming up the stairs and even though I don't love him, I can't let him know I'm cheating on him with Puck again.
Finn takes me back to mine and tucks me up all safely. It's really sweet how much he cares. But it really makes me feel terrible for kissing Puck. So I kiss him. I pull him towards to bed with me and kiss him like I've only ever kissed Puck.
"Woah, woah what are you doing Quinn?" He says, obviously shocked. "We can't do this! Your mom will go nuts!"
"My mom hasn't slept in this house in months. She's off at some new boyfriends again. We're alone." I tell him, trying to be seductive.
"Is this a test? Because I'm not gonna do this Quinn. You're wasted! It's not fair to you, and I've not even been drinking, so I can't."
"Don't you want me anymore?" I say, and I know I'm about to start crying again. I really wish I could be less of a weepy drunk. "Am I too damaged for you? Is it cause of the baby?"
"No of course not, you're beautiful and I really really want to Quinn. Really I do. But I can't do this tonight. You're too drunk. You'd regret it tomorrow." He smiles at me. "Please don't cry baby. Please. I do want to, I want you. But I can't do it when you're like this.
"Okay, I guess." I say, and I still feel pretty hurt. Rejection kind of sucks.
"How about I stay with you? Just in case?"
"Yeah. I'd like that." I smile and he wipes the tears off my face, climbs into bed and cuddles into me.
I wake up in the morning feeling like the sun is slapping me in the face. Turning over, I see Finn. He's got such a goofy smile when he sleeps. It is pretty cute. Just for good measure, I check and we are clothed. That's good. I was pretty sure nothing happened but it's always nice to know for certain.
I check my phone to find as message from Puck.
"Q. We need to talk. In person. Today."
I guess it's time I was honest with him.
I hope this was okay for you guys! It took a while to get back into the writing of it so I'm sorry if it's a bit crummy!
Let me know what you think and anything you'd like to see in the future? :)