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Emily followed JJ into her office and immediately plopped down into a chair, waiting for the blonde to do the same before trying to talk sense into the other woman.
Just as JJ opened her mouth to discuss the particulars of their agreement, Emily held up a finger to halt her. "Jen, I get that you're super competitive and I completely understand it because I hate to lose just as much as you do but I don't think you've really grasped the absurdity of what you've gotten us into." It was true, Emily hated to lose, and in most cases would be ruthless in her endeavor to come out on top. It was that tenacity, that determination, that had landed her a spot on the BAU team—or so she had thought before she realized Strauss was just trying to put a spy in the ranks to prove the incompetency of Hotchner; but that was beside the point.
"Em, I think you're being a tad melodramatic. It's not like we signed a contract in blood and forfeited our lives or something. It's just a bet where the winners get a free dinner." JJ sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Emily's hesitancy and paranoia.
"No, JJ, I don't think it's that simple. Let's start with a simple question," Emily started, her game face on as she tried to prove the relevance of her disbelief at the scenario. "Have you ever even shown a romantic interest in a woman before?"
That elicited only a small widening of the eyes before JJ shrugged casually, as though it was insignificant in the grand scheme of things. "No, but it's not like Pen said we have to spend the entire two weeks like horny teenagers; unable to keep our hands off one another and having sex all the time."
That was an image Emily didn't need dwelling in her mind so she purposefully pushed it from her thoughts and shook her head at the stubborn blonde. "True, but while we're not required to be intimate that doesn't mean we won't have to kiss or engage in other displays of affection."
JJ continued to stare at Emily as though she had grown another head, completely failing to see where the problem laid in that comment. A kiss was a kiss; sure it would be weird to kiss a friend who up until that point hadn't even pinged on her romantic radar, but it would be just like kissing any other person. Lips were lips, right?
"Jesus, Em, you're over thinking things way too much. It's a kiss, so unless you've never kiss another human being before, I don't think we'll be running into any problems with that." Her eyes rolled that time, her lips pressing into a thin line as she crossed out that feeble argument.
"So you're okay with kissing another woman? With kissing me?" Emily clarified, wanting to make sure that she wasn't going to enter into this bet and completely ruin a friendship because JJ weirded herself out by kissing the profiler.
"No." JJ said with the utmost certainty, half tempted to plant one on Emily right then and there to show just how small of a deal it really was. "What do I look like, a thirteen year old? I think I'm capable of kissing a person—a friend—and not having a life crisis over what it means."
Ignoring the scoff from the blonde, Emily continued. "And you're—" her next words were cut off by JJ's extremely loud sigh and huff of annoyance.
"We've held hands before, Emily," JJ pointed out, "not to mention we've shared a bed when we were on a case and when you crash at my house because you're too tired to drive home. We've hugged like a million times before, we've gone to the movies together, we've had dinner together, gone to the bar together, gone dancing together, had dinner at my place, had dinner at your place—" the blonde ticked off, rattling the facts off at an increasingly fast speed.
"Okay, okay, I get it," Emily grumbled, unable to refute any of those points seeing as how they actually spent a ridiculous amount of time together. Which was why, of course, Emily had argued they had more chemistry and things in common than Garcia and Morgan. But actually hearing all the things they did together was a curious thing for Emily, since it sounded like they were basically already a couple. Sure, friends who were as close as they were, tended to do those things but it had been a really long time since either of them had dated and over the last few months the two women had grown incredibly closer, often spending days off from work in one another's company.
"Is that all?" JJ asked grumpily, "Because we're wasting valuable planning time and I'm not sure I could handle losing a bet like this to Derek Morgan."
"Whatever," Emily mumbled, again crossing her arms in a petulant huff. "But have you stopped to consider why Garcia suggested this bet in the first place?"
That comment was what cut through JJ's flurry of thoughts, stopping her in her tracks as she slowly turned her attention towards the profiler sat before her. "What do you mean?" The blonde asked after a moment, her brow furrowed in thought and confusion.
"Well," Emily started, "it just seems strange that she would propose such a wild and ridiculous way to prove who's more compatible or makes the better couple."
"I'm not seeing the problem," JJ finally said, after it was clear Emily wasn't going to add anything more. "Pen suggests crazy stuff all the time. If she didn't, then she wouldn't be Penelope."
Emily blew out a puff of air, "You're not really looking at things. Why would we need to date and live with one another for two weeks to prove we're a better match. How does that prove anything? You said it yourself, we spent most of our time together already, so what does us continuing to do what we already do on a daily basis, prove?" Emily looked at the blonde expectantly, waiting for her to see the web of deceit and careful planning that Garcia had clearly put into the bet. Emily wouldn't believe for a second that Penelope hadn't somehow orchestrated the whole thing; she just wasn't clear on why it had all be set into motion.
"Maybe it was so she could see how her and Derek interact under the guise of a couple." JJ threw out there, only the slightest inklings of suspicion stirring within her.
"And what about the way she goaded you into agreeing to the bet in the first place. She's crazy, yes, but she's also a fantastic manipulator and she pushed the exact right buttons to get you to agree."
Choosing to ignore the paranoia Emily was spouting, JJ leaned forward and stared challengingly at the raven haired profiler, "Em, if you want out of this bet then just say so but don't start going crazy on me and weaving these ridiculous webs of conspiracies. If Penelope has a plan or wants something to happen, she's not shy about voicing it."
Emily recoiled, torn between throwing her hands in the air in exasperation and just shutting her mouth and going along with the bet she knew was a cover for something.
Of course, withdrawing from the bet meant she would be a loser and Emily was way to competitive to do that, so she leaned back in her chair and waved JJ onward. If JJ wouldn't listen to reason, then Emily would hang back and rub it the blonde's face when she was ultimately proved right in the end.
"Fine, let's get this over with."
JJ nodded, happy to have Emily willingly going along with things instead of having to blackmail her, which the blonde was entirely open to doing if the profiler tried to withdraw from the bet.
"Okay, whose place should we stay at?" JJ asked, pulling out a paper and beginning to jot things down.
Shrugging with practiced indifference, Emily stared at the wall behind the blonde. "We might as well do it at your house, we spend more time there anyways."
"Are you sure? I've got no problem staying at your condo, plus it's closer to the office than my house is." JJ mentioned, not really caring where they spent the two weeks.
"No, besides your house is bigger than my condo and more homey." Emily then tilted her head in thought, "Plus you always complain my condo is too 'cold' and 'impersonal' for your liking. I'm afraid if we stay at mine you might end up redecorating the place." Emily's distaste in that scenario was evident in the way she stuck out her tongue and grimaced.
Offended at audacity of Emily's comment, the blonde was quick to rebuttal. "Okay, first of all, it is impersonal seeing as how you've barely got anything personal in there. And I only said it was cold because of all the sleek metal fixtures and things you've got in there. Stop trying to twist my words," the blonde stated, looking sternly at the profiler before moving on.
"Now back to the topic at hand, how do you want to do the dates?"
Emily crossed her legs and gently tapped her index finger on her knee, trying to think of a way they could each have a say in how the dates went. "We can always split them up. The rule is at least two dates, right?"
JJ nodded but didn't say anything else as she looked at the profiler expectantly. "Well, we can split them up. You plan one date and I'll plan the other."
"Works for me," JJ said, scribbling the set up onto the piece of paper before her, a small smile on her face as she thought about the possible date ideas.
Deciding to have some fun, even a little at JJ's expense, especially since the blonde was being unnecessarily bossy, Emily smirked devilishly. "If we're going to commit to this bet we should probably try to actually woo one another."
The media liaison stared at the profiler for a second, not entirely grasping what Emily was suggesting.
"I'm just saying that if both couples end up being judged by Rossi and Reid, then it would make sense to actually try and be a couple instead of just going through the motions. The judges are both profilers so they'll be able to spot a fake display of intimacy from a mile away." Sensing she was slowly swaying the blonde, Emily smiled even wider, thinking of a million ways to pay JJ back for getting her into the silly bet in the first place. They would win the bet but Emily would make it hell for JJ in the process.
"So, we shouldn't just do this for the sake of the bet but actually consider this a real relationship. Dinner, talking about our days, processing, talking about our feelings, dates, couples yoga, double dates, the whole nine yards," Emily said lazily, watching with unbridled glee as JJ's smile slowly started to slide off her face. "Unless, of course, you don't want to win. Which is fine by me, but I can only imagine how badly Garcia and Morgan will gloat when they're declared the winners."
Frowning at the thought of losing, JJ nodded slowly, "You're right, but I'm not doing couples yoga."
"Sure, JJ," Emily said easily, though she was already thinking of a handful of terrible and clichéd couple related activities that she could force JJ into doing. Emily was going to have so much fun with this and JJ wouldn't even realize it until the whole thing was over.
At no point did Emily think this bet was a good idea but if she was going to do it then she was going to make sure JJ suffered a bit and that they actually won. And if she just so happened to torture the blonde in the process, well, that was just a bonus.
"So, you'll be staying at my place and we'll each have the responsibility of planning one date." JJ reiterated, a serious expression on her face as she did so; acting as though she were rattling off the terms of a contract or something equally law binding.
"Yup," Emily said happily, wondering if JJ knew just how much trouble she had gotten herself into by rushing head first into a bet with Penelope Garcia. "I'll bring my two weeks worth of stuff over tomorrow and we'll get this thing started."
JJ nodded and the two sat in silence for a minute before the blonde started to stare blankly at the still sitting profiler. "Shouldn't you be working on the stack of case files on your desk?"
Emily, completely thrown by the shift in the blonde, could only stare dumbly. "I thought dating the person in charge of those case files meant I didn't have to do them."
Ignoring the pout Emily was directing towards her, JJ shook her head in an obvious 'hell no' fashion and pointed towards the door with a flourish of her hand. "Nope. You'll get no special treatment from me and besides, I'm not your girlfriend until tomorrow."
Frowning, Emily stood and reluctantly made her way towards the office door, "What kind of person doesn't give special treatment to their temporary girlfriend? I thought you loved me, Jennifer."
Quirking an eyebrow at the sad attempt at guilt tripping, JJ shrugged nonchalantly, her head resting on her hand as she stared at Emily with disinterest, "The kind of temporary girlfriend who doesn't want her annoying girlfriend to get fired because she can't finish her work on time."
"You know what," Emily said defiantly, swinging the door open, "no kisses or sex from me until you apologize."
Stifling a laugh at the terrible attempt at a threat, JJ raised her hand to her forehead and tilted her head back in a dramatic fashion, "Not withholding sex and kisses! However shall I manage without them?"
Smirking at the playfulness the two had entered, Emily immediately switched to a cocky grin, "Trust me Jennifer, once you kiss these lips, you'll be singing another tune." And with that, Emily walked out the door, adding an extra sway to her hips as she did so.
It was clear from the beginning of the first day of the bet that JJ was taking the thing very seriously and it definitely gave Emily pause.
More than once, she found the blonde visiting her at her desk, suggesting possible date ideas and getting very touchy-feely. Not that Emily really minded because it wasn't too outside the norm for them, with the exception of the date suggestions, but it was a sight to behold to see JJ getting so invested in a bet.
It was also a little unnerving to see Morgan watching the interactions with such scrutiny and interest; again, it made Emily feel like things were being put into play that neither she nor JJ had any idea of.
"Shouldn't you be doting on your girlfriend, Morgan?" Emily asked after the next bout of staring from the profiler, completely ignoring Reid's inquisitive gaze.
"Naw," Morgan said breezily, continuing his unabashed staring, "Baby Girl likes her space but don't you worry, I'll be giving her plenty of attention tonight, if ya catch my drift." His exaggerated wink and feral grin was enough to make Emily shudder.
"Too much information, Morgan. Way too much information." The profiler said angrily, trying to shake the mental images that sprung up in her mind, not wanting to picture Garcia or Morgan intimately involved. Her head shook frantically as she tried to physically and forcefully dislodge the traumatizing images free.
"Oh please, Princess, like you and JJ aren't going to be getting it on now that you're gonna be having a two week long sleepover?" Derek asked incredulously, his roguish grin and eyebrow waggling only serving to further put Emily on edge.
"Hey, don't talk about my girlfriend like that," Emily said testily, never one for such crude comments, especially when they were about someone she was technically dating.
"Ooh, looks like someone is a bit protective," Morgan taunted before Emily leaned over and punched him in the arm.
"Shut up," the raven haired profiler mumbled, only smiling a fraction when she saw Morgan rub the spot she had just hit him.
"Seriously though, you must be a little excited about this whole thing, right?" Derek asked after a second, his leering expression gone and replaced by one of genuine interest.
Deciding not to dwell on the ulterior motives behind things, Emily smiled cockily, "Why wouldn't I be? I get to torture JJ with couples activities and when we win, I'll get gloating rights and I'll get to rub your face in it. What's not to be excited about?"
"You aren't going to win, Emily. I bet you two chicken out at the first kiss." Morgan boomed confidently, smirking even more when he saw a glower descend upon Emily's face.
"If anyone is going to be uncomfortable kissing anyone, it would be you and Garcia. You both flirt like crazy but I doubt you two can handle the intimacy of a relationship—even one that only lasts two weeks." The raven haired woman said heatedly, not one to be bulldozed by Morgan's inflated ego and ridiculous claims.
"Let's put it to the test then," Morgan said confidently, his finger pointing towards the tech analyst who had just walked through the doorway, a manila folder clasped tightly in her hands as she approached them with her familiar bubbly smile.
Without another word, Derek rose from his seat, wrapped his hand around the nape of Penelope's neck before tilting her backwards and planting a firm and very invested kiss on her lips. When the two righted themselves and pulled apart, Garcia smiled even wider and handed over the file she was holding. "If that's how I'm going to be greeted every time I bring over a file, I'm definitely going to start doing it more often, Sweetness." The tech analyst said giddily.
"Your turn, Prentiss." Morgan said arrogantly, completely ignoring the inquiring but excited look Penelope was giving them.
Not one to be brushed off and certainly not one to resist rising to the occasion, Emily straightened her shoulders and called JJ down to the main floor.
"Just you watch, Morgan." Emily warned, staring devilishly at the man before striding over to the blonde who was descending the stairs.
"What's up, Em?" JJ just barely had time to ask before Emily was forcefully pulling the blonde towards her and gently cupping her jaw.
Jennifer had no time to process what was about to happen when Emily's soft and plump lips pressed against hers, the two meshing perfectly as the blonde felt herself being dipped backwards.
Unable to resist the kiss, JJ gasped slightly before burying her hands in the profilers hair and letting Emily take the lead.
Taking advantage of the gasp, Emily easily slid her tongue between JJ's parted lips and languidly explored the soft and velvety orifice. So lost in the kiss, Emily only barely registered the need for oxygen before pulling away and helping right the slightly dazed and flushed media liaison.
Emily turned her attention towards Morgan, a smug and overjoyed look on her face, "You were saying?" She asked the profiler, not waiting for his response as she turned her focus back towards the frozen and shocked blonde.
"I warned you Jennifer," Emily purred, completely taking advantage of the dumbstruck woman's silence, "once you kiss these lips, you'll forever be ruined for everyone else."
Placing a last kiss to JJ's lips, Emily smiled evilly before walking back over to her desk, the wave of arrogance and confidence unable to penetrate the stunned blonde's foggy brain.
As she watched her walk away, JJ slowly raised her index and middle finger to her lips, wondering why her skin felt on fire and numb all at the same time. It felt like a million tiny explosions had been set off beneath the thin layer of skin on her lips and she was unsure how to feel about that.
But as she stood there, rooted to the spot, she couldn't help but wonder just how much more interesting things were going to get because of this crazy bet. It was only day one and JJ was positive it could only get stranger and yet, exceedingly more exciting.
This was shaping up to be a fun bet indeed.
Again, if you have any suggestions for the dates or just scenarios you'd like to see happen over the two week bet, feel free to PM them or leave them in a review.