Author's Note: Final chapter and this thing is done at long last. I noticed that interest in this fic died about halfway but I completed it nonetheless. I'd like to give out a big thank you to Knyghtshade and to ShadowMajin for sticking around when it seemed everyone else upped and vanished. But what's past is past, can't do anything about it, etc… Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing

Warning: slight language and shounen ai

Devise a Demise

He was fortunate this morning that the sun wasn't shining in his eyes when he woke up. He was certainly warm this morning though, seeing as he was sandwiched between two beautiful blonds.

Last night had been great. Wild too, who knew that Quatre could be so…yeah… And Solo! Damn! He couldn't get enough of either of them! Looking at the two now, they both looked like innocent children, which they both were the furthest thing from.

But he wouldn't have traded either of them for anything. Anything else would have been inferior.

As much as he wished that he could go back to sleep, his mind was already active and was telling him he needed his morning coffee. If only his caffeine craving could have been like the alarm clock, easily turned off though extremely annoying. But bodily functions were so easily ignore and he pried himself reluctantly from the holds his two favorite blonds in the world had him in.

Not bothering to put any sort of cloth on but staying only for a moment to observe the sleeping pair, the braided one shook his head in amusement before he left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

As he walked down the hallway, he stretched his arms out as far as they could go, feeling satisfaction as he heard joints pop and the after effects of sleep leave his muscles. Man he was in such a good mood! It didn't seem like anything could bring him down! Eh, probably that after sex glow or something.

It didn't take long to get a pot of coffee going and even less time to create his favorite black and two sugars. Leaning against the counter, he inhaled the intoxicating aroma that spewed forth from the dark liquid and sighed, exhaling. Taking a sip, he savored the flavor, mentally giving Quatre a pat on the back for having good tastes. Glancing out the small kitchen window, he though it would be nice to step outside and feel the sun on him. It was a guilty pleasure of his, so sue him. It wasn't as if there were anywhere near some sort of civilization! They were in the middle of nowhere, on one of Quatre's enormous estates! Who was going to see him anyway?

He had just reached the front door when he jerked and let out a loud sneeze.

What the hell?!

Shaking his head in disbelief, he was suddenly overcome by a sneezing fit that shouldn't have been happening. On one particular sneeze, he was shaken enough to drop his coffee, the mug shattering on the tiled area in front of the door. As if it was a summons, he heard the sound of bare feet on carpet approaching him before he heard one of his lovers let out his own sneeze.

Oh no. No way in hell. This couldn't be happening, not right now, not when everything was so perfect!

Dreading it, but forcing himself to do so anyway, he opened the large door and clamped his hand over his nose immediately, horror growing on his face by the second.

There at the front entrance was a large display of red roses. Among the large grouping of plants was a large card that Duo forced himself to pick up and read. Despite having his nose pinched closed, he could still make out an awful yet familiar scent that emanated from the card.

Opening it, his eyes narrowed upon reading the first words. He recognized whose handwriting this was. He also knew who the culprit was.

Passing it to the others, he retreated back into the estate, heading for the kitchen where he waited for their response. He wasn't disappointed. The looks of fury and possessiveness that marred the blonds' faces were answer enough.

While Solo had no clue who may have been responsible for this, Quatre did and Duo could tell he knew from the furious expression on the Arabian's face. Hell hath no fury as a furious Quatre.

"Who does that bitch think she is?!" Quatre snarled, his polite demeanor overwhelmed and trashed by his outrage.

Solo glanced at his fellow blond with a raised eyebrow, though he was still angry. "Ya know who did dat?"

"Little, prissy, pink princess Relena Peacecraft!" Quatre stated. "First she stalks Heero all over the place and now that he's dead, she's turned her sights to Duo!"

"Dat little bitch!" Solo growled as he cracked his knuckles. "Dat's it! I dun care if she's ruler of da world! Da bitch gotta pay!"

"That's right! Duo is ours!" Quatre agreed.

Duo, despite the topic, smiled amusedly at the two blonds. Oh he was certainly theirs. No one and nobody could or would be able to change that. But they had the right idea. Duo was sick of this game already. Now was the time to head it off before it got worse. Only Relena would have been able to track him down to the middle of nowhere. That meant no matter where he went he wasn't safe. Not with Relena coming after him.

Coming back to the present, he overheard the two blonds planning out what they were going to do to her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys!" Duo intervened. The two blonds looked up at him in expectance, thinking he was going to deny them the pleasure of beating Relena to a pulp. "You guys have it all wrong!" Duo continued. "Don't pummel her with your bare hands, they can only do so much! Use blunt objects, they pack more force."

The two blonds stared at him in shock. Was Duo giving them pointers?

Grinning, Duo plunged ahead, "If you really want to cause her pain, go for something small, like her toenails. They may not seem much but when you pull one out it hurts like a bitch! Then there's the eyelashes and if you really want her hurting without leaving too much of a mark on her body, give her a bikini wax!"

Their shock had passed away as the two blonds were taking notes. Hey, Duo had some good ideas. Why let them all go to waste?

"We gonna need some two-by-fours," Solo muttered aloud.

"Pliers most definitely," Quatre picked up as they made their list of needed supplies.

"Wax," Solo added.

"And those little strips," Duo put in. "Can't forget those strips."

"Where is she anyway?" Solo asked.

"I can find out," Quatre answered as he turned to leave to do so.

"Kid, is dare anyding we can wear dat won't leave evidence?" Solo turned to the braided one, taking charge.

"I think Q has something around here, we just need to find it," Duo answered as he started to leave the kitchen with Solo in tow. "If not, then we can go buy something."

Walking through the halls of the estate, Duo couldn't help but smirk to himself, despite the morbid things he and his lovers were talking about. They were going to be busy for a bit, that was for sure.