Chapter 4

July 27, 2015

All my life I have been acknowledged by many as an uncertified but incontestable animal expert – anything anyone needed to know about animals, I knew. A quick observation, a push of my pheromones, a stream of communication, and everything is remedied. It helped that animals are always so endearing… and adorable, irresistible even. Humans, I like to believe, behave an awful lot like animals. And so it baffles me sometimes that despite this I could undoubtedly be the most socially awkward being in this entire planet.

And, recently, I've been exercising this particular trait especially well while in the presence of one Hotaru Imai.

The right things never seemed to come out of my mouth anymore. I didn't know how to approach her usual hostility with humor and lightness, and how not to blurt out what I truly wanted to say. Stop pushing me away already. I want to be friends, can't you see? Nothing I did led her into seeing the way I did, so my responding action was what I believe most socially awkward beings did when deprived of the company they desperately wanted to be around. To put it in a nutshell, I stalked her.

"TELL HIM TO STOP! NOGI! NOGIIII!" I whirled my attention away from said person when I saw that Ernst was struggling to keep upright on the dangerously fast-moving treadmill. He looked as if he were running for his life. With the intensity of friction, the machine was whirring extremely loud, and the monitors attached to Ernst via wiring bleeped at the speed his heart was racing.

Running on a separate treadmill synced to that of Ernst's was the golden Ibex who at that moment had embodied the speed of a cheetah. I reached out to Willy and urged him to slow his pace. I ran over to him and rubbed the length of his neck soothingly. "That's it. Calm down, buddy. No need to give Ernst a heart disease." He slowed to a walking pace and both treadmills followed suit. His fur was velvet under my fingers and his body still cool despite the speed he was going on. While Ernst crouched to the ground, struggling to catch his breath, it looked like the Ibex was hardly fazed at all.

"Fascinating," Henri whispered from the other side of Willy. He had noted down some data in his clipboard, eyes brimming with excitement, before explaining further. "He was running a hundred meters in 11.5 seconds with perfect ease."

"Don't forget about me," Ernst commented, still panting. The dri-fit shirt he had worn in anticipation of the day's strenuous events clung to his skin with sweat as well as the front locks of his glistening blonde hair.

"Yes, but a little longer and you would have collapsed, but Willy he –"

"Was not even close to his optimum speed…" the pensive observation had come from Hotaru. She had been standing beside Henri this whole time – and distracting me from my task not too long ago, I might add – but now she took a step forward, entranced by Willy. I could almost hear her mind whirring at optimum speed. She turned to Henri. "Put it down on record. Human comparison Wyss stopped at 19.46 mph while subject is clearly far from its apex. Let's try this again tomorrow with the Ibex alone. Make sure it's well rested and fed heartily. We want it in top shape to get an accurate calculation of its speed."

"Alright, I'll let the keepers know," Henri said, writing some more on his clipboard. The scientist was on a sort of testing probation, if you could call it that. He was prohibited from leading his own lab work ever since his fiasco with the exploding experiments during my first day on the job. He's been tasked to assist the Ice Queen on her research instead, which couldn't possibly be an easy job knowing how much of a critical perfectionist Hotaru could be.

"That's all. Get to it then," she said, not even sparing the pitiable assistant a glance. Henri tapped his pen once on the clipboard, mouthed something incomprehensible and promptly shuffled out of the room. When he passed the glass window that separated the lab room from the corridors, I saw him messing his hair in frustration, which nearly sent me laughing.

"He's done for the day?" I asked Hotaru, still running my hands through Willy's coat. I could pet this creature the whole day – I've never felt anything softer. "Ernst also looks like he needs some medical attention." Person in question had managed to stand up straight already, but was still laboriously breathing. He raised a reassuring hand to me, trying to indicate that he could still manage.

"It'll do," Hotaru said after a while, scrutinizing Willy, trying to unlock the secrets there. Her brows had furrowed in puzzlement, and I can't help but smile a little. She looked like a little kid trying to solve a math problem that's been bothering her for days.

I hadn't realized that I've been projecting my thoughts to Willy, but the Ibex had been staring at her too, and had even proceeded to walking her way, stepping out of the treadmill, and over the one Ernst had ran on in order to cover the distance. Hotaru watched, shocked, and backed away a few steps in caution. "What's it doing?" she asked warily.

"He is curious," I said. Because of me. "No need to worry." With his long silver horns that curved towards his body, Willy could look like a fearsome predator rather than a gentle herbivore, but his intentions were nonaggressive.

The usually composed technician stilled as the Ibex approached her, closer and closer until their faces were only inches apart. He gazed at her face intently, part curiosity part jealousy at the obvious amount of time I spent looking at her. He looked and saw all the little nuances there. Small lips pinched in caution, pink from her lipstick. A long creamy neck deliciously exposed much thanks to her short-cropped hair. Eyelashes that curved naturally, rimming a set of large inquisitive eyes. And those eyes. What complexities were hidden beneath those depths. As he looked through he saw genius there. A beautiful little Athena she was. I had to tear my attention away, overcome by the observations that I wasn't sure were my own or Willy's.

"Well what do you know," Ernst said. "Looks like the beast had won over the beauty after all."

When I looked back, Hotaru had reached out her hand to Willy and he was sniffing at it almost like a pet dog. I watched in horror as he brought out his tongue and licked her hand in one fluid motion. I waited for her to draw out her baka gun from some hidden compartment around her lab coat, but it never came. She didn't slap the Ibex away or retract her hand for that matter. She looked as the animal continued its ministrations and laughed. She was actually giggling in amusement. The sound was so unexpected that Ernst and I looked at each other and both smiled in disbelief.

He and I both ran over to the other two as quickly as possible. Neither of us spoke about it, almost afraid to break the spell and return Hotaru to her original heartless self. She had gone onto rubbing Willy's head much as I had been a while ago, and her lips played with the ghost of a smile.

"How interesting," she commented to no one in particular. She looked for the entire world like a normal little girl contentedly petting an animal at a zoo, standing there like she had made a new friend and like she treated animals in this manner all the time. It was picturesque, to be honest.

Unfortunately, that priceless painting withered faster than it was created. Because, of course, she had to ruin the moment as she mused, "Maybe I won't cut off your horns after all. Such a pity. Perhaps a tiny sample from the ends will do?"

Willy was as shocked as I was. Lightning fast, I drew him away from her evil touch. We backed into a corner of the room – him protesting noisily from having his horns chopped off and me cradling his neck in my arms. Hotaru still had her hand raised in the air, petting an invisible creature. She looked surprised at our sudden movement blinking once then twice. Ernst slapped a palm to his face, as if to say 'I knew it was too good to be true.'

"What?" Hotaru asked, letting her hand drop and tilting her head to the side, clearly puzzled at our reaction.

Oh my God! She was completely serious! "You monster," I murmured, absolutely shocked. I couldn't help but tear up a bit at the image of a murderous looking Hotaru with a chainsaw in hand; ready to chop off this beautiful creature's wonderfully curved embellishments. "You better not lay a hand on Willy. You better not!"

She considered that for a moment before lifting a tiny shoulder in a callous shrug.

This crazy woman. This stunning, ingenious, crazy woman. She's going to drive me insane.

Later that evening, I had just come out of the shower when a soft rap against the door caught my attention. I stared at the analog clock hung on the living room wall. It was 9:25 in the evening and the world outside my windows was asleep under the vast dark blanket of the sky. "Hold on a second," I called out, wondering who could be visiting at this time of night. Not that I was complaining – I mean, it's not like I moved out into the middle of nowhere to be at peace and undisturbed, or anything like that. No problem at all.

I quickly grabbed a knitted sweater from my unpacked luggage (I know it's been a couple of weeks since I've arrived, but in my defense, I've been busy and didn't have much time to settle in) and pull it over my head, the dampness of my skin after showering made it cling to my torso in some places. I tugged on some jeans as well and make my way over the foyer as I do so, stumbling several times before I finally reached the door.

I once again wonder who could be on the other side. Belatedly, I realized that it would be unwise to just open the door. A barrel could be staring back at me once I do so. Or maybe a man-eating mountain lion. But then again that wouldn't be much of a problem, nor could they knock on doors for that matter.

"Who is it?" I asked.

No reply.

"Who's there?" I asked again, pressing my ear against the door this time. One second. And then another. There was no sign of activity. Then, all too soon, the door protested against my leaning frame and forcefully opened wide, slamming into my cheek and sending me falling flat on my behind!

Expecting a robbery, I scrambled to my feet and was about to dash for the knives on the kitchen counter, but all my adrenaline drained when I saw that there, standing on the wooden porch, infuriatingly calm, was a rosy-cheeked Hotaru Imai. I touched my own cheek and realized it, too, was probably red from the battering the door had given it. The skin was still hot to the touch.

Of course, I thought to myself, What a very typical entrance for the mother of darkness herself. I don't know where the angst is coming from, but Hotaru just seemed to be getting on my nerves a lot lately. She's just so damn perfect in every way, there's absolutely no possibility of anyone being able to contest her judgment, I thought sarcastically.

The culprit in question was holding up another odd looking contraption – the one she had probably used to violate the privacy of my home. Smoke was billowing off the nozzle's end where a metal wire protruded from, sticking to the door of my cabin through a dart that resembled a grappling hook.

"You couldn't have just said it was you?" I questioned, exasperated, as I stood up still rubbing my cheek.

She shrugged a shoulder, an annoying know-it-all habit of hers. "I might as well test it out. It latches onto tall heights without loosing momentum other hooks usually sacrifice when stretched to its limit, which explains the force it ejects. A prototype. But I think it's ready for release." She eyed the machine, talking almost as if she had been addressing her explanation to a rock. Pushing a button that made it contract into a palm-sized device, she tucked the modified grappling hook into her coat pocket and strolled across the threshold uninvited.

"I have something to say."

It was very odd behavior for her to come all the way here just to exchange a few words. "What is it?" I asked, my curiosity prickling.

She didn't seem to hear me. Her nose tilted up, her brows furrowed. She looked around inquisitively before asking, "What is that?"

"What's what?" Nothing seemed out of place to me.

"That smell…" She walked to the space of the kitchen but didn't seem to find the source of her intrigue. I inclined my head, not understanding. She took another sniff before deciding, "It smells like Lilies. Oriental Lilies."

The blush came to me as angry and quick as a sting bee in pursuit. I laughed sheepishly, cursing the moment. "That would be me. My mother sent me flower-scented shampoo. I don't think she considered my preferences."

She tried to hide an amused little smile. My face reddened even more, self-consciousness rising.

"In my defense, the nearest convenience store is a helicopter-ride away from here! And I mean, it's not very hygienic to not shower. My manly shampoo ran out. And by manly I mean really manly! So it's not like I chose…" I was rambling again, I noticed, but at that moment I couldn't curse my awkwardness, because another layer of ice had melted off her perfectly sculpted façade. Hotaru Imai was in my house, trying her best not to laugh.

Her cheeks flushed with the effort, and even then a smile was playing on her lips. I must have looked like a fool grinning at her like an idiot. I wished she would say something. Baka Hotaru. You don't have to pretend around me.

"Baka Ruka," she mumbled, finally sucking up her disorientation and rearranging her countenance. Still, the telltale signs of happiness were evident. Her eyes were softer, her cheeks rosy and inviting…

I cleared my throat, dispelling the distracting thoughts away. "So, what were you going to tell me?"

"Sit," she suggested.

I crossed over to the living room and sat on the sofa, resting my elbows on my knees and clapping my hands together. "Okay, go on."

She stood behind the coffee table opposite from where I sat and shuffled through a leather messenger bag slung over her shoulder. A second later and she slid a folder across the table towards me. I passed her a cursory glance before taking it. Her eyes were trained on the folder like a hawk, as if its contents might burst into flames at any given moment.

I opened the folder and looked through. "What am I supposed to be looking at...?"

In my hands were three large-sized pictures of a circle with more circular purple things dotted inside it.

Hotaru rolled her eyes, sidestepping the table to sit beside me on the couch. "Did you learn nothing from biology?" Biology was among many general education classes required from all students of the Academy… one that Natsume was never particularly interested in, and consequently one that we hardly ever attended.

"I learn more from talking to chickens than I would in that class."

"How modest of you." I throw her a pointed glance. She could at least let my ego go unscathed this one time. She knows I'm not proud of my elementary and high delinquencies. "Well had you paid attention, you'd know animals aren't the only things we learned in biology." It's funny. Her words were snooty, but I didn't have that irritated sensation while talking to a know-it-all. The scariest ones are those who are so convincingly smart you don't even have the time to hate them for it.

"This one," she said, pointing to the first full-blown picture, "Is the blood sample of a regular Ibex."

They must have been cells.

"This," she continued, "is my blood sample. And this," she pointed at the last film paper. "This is Willy's."

"Willy's?" She must have gotten the films mixed up. Comparing the first and last pictures, Willy's blood sample looked nothing like what it should be. "How… But, it resembled this second one more. Willy's blood is more human?"

"Not just any human."

She can't be insinuating that…

"Ruka, don't you get it?" Her eyes were beaming, her entire countenance alight with excitement. "I think Willy is one of us. I think he has an Alice." Her whole body leans towards me in eagerness, awaiting my confirmation. The proposition was ludicrous! It was hard to wrap my head around, especially with other things running through my mind.

Us. How could one word make all her imperfections go away?

She was acknowledging a world that she and I shared – a world that I could never escape no more than she can. We're Alices. We're different. We understand each other and we need each other. She knew that too, and tonight she had let down enough of her guard to show it.

That simple moment, that fleeting moment, that single delirious moment that she allowed me. It was for those moments that I hate her so much. I realized it then. She infuriated me to no end – this cold-blooded creature that thought only of profit, advancement, and science – because she was actually not all that she let people see. She could be kind, warm, and passionate, so completely beautiful and rare, and it pained me that she chooses to act otherwise around me.

Because I had learned to really like the perfection buried beneath all her animosity. And digging for that person, waiting for her to appear, was the most grueling task I had ever endured. But moments like these. It felt as if we were in a bubble of our own. It was the most gratifying reward.

"How?" I ask, my voice soft. "He's an animal, Hotaru. My pheromones wouldn't have worked on him otherwise."

Her brows furrow in thought. She lets her hands drop to the sofa seat and they scrunch up the fabric as they form into fists. "I don't know," she says, her tone melancholic. She didn't like not knowing. All too soon the trance was gone and Hotaru peered at me with steel in her eyes. "We can't tell anyone. We have to protect him, Ruka. He's one of us."

We must have looked like criminals, stealing off the record conversations at a secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere, whispering secrets like lovers. Surely it's criminal to want more of these late night visits from her?

He's one of us. An Alice. I didn't know how it was possible, but I wasn't about to doubt the smartest person I knew.

I nodded.

I understood what she meant instantly. We had to protect Willy's secret. If anyone were to find out about him, these labs would be just as confining to him as the Academy was to us.

Our eyes met, both firm and determined. Behind them were shared memories of all the struggles that defined our childhood. "Okay. Let's bust him out."