I, along with Sana, have been Seijuurou-sama's caretaker ever since he was born. He was a sweet child, always full of laughter and smile, it's hard to imagine that he would end up as a stern man. I remember back then, he and Soubi-sama always playing in that garden full of roses. "Seijuurou ready or not," was what she would say, followed by Seijuurou-sama small chuckle. That garden was their oasis. It was a place where no problems exist, a place where no tears fall and smiles are exchange to one another without restraint. It was my oasis.
I remember being woken up in the middle of the night of a loud shaking and a trembling hand."Haruhiko! Haruhiko!" I was called many times, but I didn't know if it was dream or not. However, when I opened my eyes, what I saw wasn't reality or a dream – it was a nightmare. Kazuaki-sama, sweating nervously and trembling with fear, was carrying Soubi-sama pale with blood slowly surging from her mouth. It was a horrifying scene.
"Haruhiko prepare the car immediately! We need to get Soubi to the hospital."
I was frozen, unable to move. I didn't know what to do, but I knew in the back of my mind I was praying…I was praying and hoping that all these is just a bad dream.
"Haruhiko! We have to hurry!"
"Yes Kazuaki-sama," I yelled so loudly that even Sana, who's a heavy sleeper, woke up followed by her horrified screaming.
"Sana stay here and look after Seijuurou."
"Ah…yes…of course. I'll do it…I mean, yes Kazuaki-sama, I'll look after Seijuurou-sama."
We drove to the hospital as fast as we could and Soubi-sama was hospitalized immediately, and since then Kazuaki-sama didn't let anyone visit her, not even me. I was left in the manor to take care of Seijuurou-sama.
*knock knock*
"Seijuurou-sama, come out now. You need to eat…Seijuurou-sama?"
"No! where's mother? I won't eat without her anymore."
He waited in that room every day. He waited for Soubi-sama to call out his name so affectionately once again, but she never came back. I don't know what sickness Soubi-sama caught or what actually happened after she was hospitalized…I was afraid of asking Kazuaki-sama, so I stayed silent.
"Seijuurou-sama come out there."
"Stop calling me that! Mother's the only person allowed to call me that."
"Let me talk to him Haruhiko."
"…Kazuaki-sama?"
I don't know what happened beyond that door, or what Kazuaki-sama told the young Seijuurou-sama then, but after that he came out with a somewhat stern yet lifeless face, and he's been like that ever since then. However, that changed when Kuroko-kun showed up in his life. The reserved and aloof Seijuurou-sama, for the first time since her mother's death, smiled. I saw it with my own eyes, him smiling and talking without restraint to the weak teal headed man.
"Have you found anything about Tetsuya?"
"Yes Akashi-sama."
Kuroko-kun was an elementary school teacher, 25 years old, and married to a man named Ryouta Kise for almost three years now. I told him about the incident and how Kuroko got all his wound…but somehow he looked amused. I denied it back then…but I knew that he's taken an interest on him. "Do not report anything to the police until I say so," was what he said while grinning.
I let him do whatever he wanted. I let him keep Kuroko-kun, and once again I stayed silent. Every day since then became livelier, at least Seijuurou-sama's was, but the truth was my guilt was staring to get me. Thinking about Kuroko-kun's family and husband looking for him desperately made me feel guilty, but I always tell myself that he'll let Kuroko-kun go one day, get bored with him, and go on to his usual task…but I was wrong.
I noticed the way he would look at Kuroko-kun with affection. How he'd say Tetsuya so fondly, the laughter, his actions, I noticed them all.
"Isn't it great Haru, Seijuurou-sama's finally smiling again."
"Careful Sana, you know he doesn't like it when we call out his name so openly."
"Relax, no one's around."
"Well, he is a lot livelier…I guess."
"It's not just him you know, even the house. Ever since Seijuurou-sama's been livelier, it's like the whole house became alive again. It actually reminds of those days when Soubi-sama was still alive. Isn't it great?"
"It is great, but what about Kuroko-kun? What if he starts remembering? You know that he'll leave once he regains his memory."
"I know that but they could remain friends after. Kuroko-kun's a nice guy, I'm pretty sure he'd remain friends with Seijuurou-sama. They could turn into a great friends in the future."
"I guess so…"
"What's wrong with you?"
"It's nothing…it's just I'm confused, I guess."
"About what?"
"What if someone important to you is happy, but you know that that happiness isn't suppose to be theirs?"
"What are you talking about Haru? Everyone has the right to be happy."
"I know, but what if their source of happiness is something that's not supposed to theirs…what if it's stolen. And this person is really important to you, so you want to see then happy, but you just know that it's wrong."
"Hmmm, I guess that is hard. Does this person deserve to be happy at all?"
"Of course, just not in that way. I mean what if the person who originally has that happiness is looking for it, and now he's sad without it."
"If this person is really important to me then I'd chose to not do anything."
"Won't you feel guilty from doing that?"
"I certainly would, but I'm pretty sure all those guilt will go away after I see that person's smile."
"It's still not right Sana."
I just can't stay silent any longer. I do want Seijuurou-sama to be happy, he deserves it but what about Kuroko-kun? He's not the type to marry someone impulsively. He must have loved Ryouta Kise a lot; I mean they've been married for almost three years, marriages don't last without love therefore Kuroko-kun must really love him, and that probably goes for Ryouta Kise as well. I mean if Sana was in Kuroko-kun's position, I will definitely not give up on finding her. I love her so much, and the thought that someone else is right next to her when she's vulnerable, I won't be able to bear is Sana forgets me and leaves me, regardless of whether that person genuinely loves her or not. I can't live without her, I'm pretty sure Ryouta Kise is like that too.
"Haruhiko! Haruhiko! There you are! I want you to prepare Tetsuya's prepare we're going to America."
"What!? You can't do that Akashi-sama, do you know what you're doing to Kuroko-kun?"
"He agreed to it."
"That's because he doesn't know anything! I'm just concerned about you Akashi-sama. You cannot continue lying to him, he deserves the truth…he deserves to be happy with his family."
"DON'T I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AS WELL!"
"You can't continue lying to him, what if he starts remembering? And for god sake's Akashi-sama, Kuroko-kun is married."
"I know that! I know that…but I can't give him up yet."
"…Have you fallen in love with him Akashi-sama? I let it go at first because I thought that you just wanted to play around… I thought you'd let him go once you get tired of him. Do you love Kuroko-kun?"
"…Yes…yes…I do love him. You're right at first it was just simple curiosity, but now I want him stay with me and live together with me. I love him Haruhiko, please."
How can I refused someone, pleading with all his might, the happiness he so wants.
"I understand Akashi-sama, but you must tell him everything. If he accepts you even after knowing the truth, then I won't object."
It was a condition I knew he'd never fulfill, after all how can one easily say that they've been lying to you for a long time. I knew that he would never have the courage to tell Kuroko-kun the truth.
"Haruhiko, is the car ready?"
"Yes Akashi-sama."
They left after that and if I'm right, they're never going to return anymore. The trip Kazuaki-sama prepared to introduce Seijuurou-sama's fiancé isn't even going to last for a week. I know he'll immediately tell his refusal to the arranged marriage and then leave right after.
"Sana, remember that situation I told you?"
"You mean that story about someone being happy but it's wrong?"
"Yes that one…would you hate the person who wants to get things straight and things returned back to normal?"
"No, I'll try to understand that person…but…but I'll be sad."
"About what?"
"Well if you think about it, at the end someone will definitely get hurt."
"I know that. Forgive me Sana."
"Hey, where are you going?"
"I just need to give someone a call."
I found my resolve.
*ring ring ring ring ring ring*
*ring ring ring ring ring ring*
"Hello?"
"Is this Ryouta Kise?"
"Yes I'm Ryouta Kise, how may I help you?