Hey, it's me again! Apparently, all it takes for me to get my act together and get back to writing is really loving an episode of ouat, so here's hoping that keeps happening~
A brief recap of where we left off- there's a plot brewing among the resistance, Regina and Emma had some very magic-laced encounters (though Regina was less than thrilled with the idea of Emma learning to use her own magic) and Snow has caught Emma in a fairly compromising situation. Onward!
"Snow. Snow, wait!" But the other woman is already fleeing down the hall, turning the corner that leads to her own room before Emma is finished catching her breath. "Snow, I swear-"
"What?" She whirls around as Emma rounds the corner, and Emma nearly careens into her. "Are you sleeping with her?" Her face is paler than Emma's ever seen it, her breath emerging fast and unsteady, and her voice cracks so hard on the question that it ends in a sob instead.
"Snow…" Emma extends her hands helplessly, words escaping her at the accusation.
Snow wraps her arms around herself, trembling. "Are. You. Sleeping. With. Her."
Emma clears her throat, but the words still strangle her as they fight their way out. "A little bit?"
It must be unconscious, the way Snow takes a step back, the way she reaches for the wall to steady herself lest she fall. It still hurts, and Emma knows- knows that she's betrayed her friend, that she's been lost to a devil, that she's done something unforgivable- but it still stings. And then Snow bites her lip and turns away from Emma, brown curls cascading over her shoulder with the movement, and says unsteadily, "Well, you have the right to sleep with whoever you want. I don't have a say in your choices. I'm not your mother."
"You're still my friend!" Emma retorts, but Snow is already opening her door, and Emma catches a flash of her tearstained face before the door closes again. "Snow!" She bangs on the door. "Snow, please, can we talk about this?"
The door doesn't budge and Emma sinks to the floor in front of it, calling out again, "Snow, I'm not leaving until we-"
She wants to talk, and that realization stops her dead in her tracks. Emma Swan had had her heart broken for the first time at seventeen and had erected a wall around it a mile high. It's been over a decade and she's kept that wall tightly sealed with no exceptions, has kept her heart aloof and distant from anyone she's ever known.
And she's tired. She's so tired of being alone, has been hurting for family since the moment she'd blown out that candle on her twenty-eighth birthday and made a wish- and Henry had knocked on the door. She's never wanted more to love someone, to be loved by others, until that day when she'd met Henry and Snow and this whole goddamned fantasy that has swept her away, too. She wants to share with Snow, wants her absolution and advice and wants her to stop hurting because of something Emma has done.
Snow means enough to her that she craves it. "I just want to talk," she finishes, and when she looks up, a door is opening across the hall and Henry is poking his head out.
"About what?" he asks, and Emma's never been more grateful that the walls of the castle are thick enough to have muffled her earlier conversation.
"Hey, kid. Shouldn't you be in bed?"
He shrugs, coming out to sit next to her. "I heard your voice." He's dressed in a nightshirt, hair all mussed up and eyes half-closing, and he's such a kid, prince or not. She extends her arm and he snuggles against her. "Why is Snow so mad at you?"
"I, uh…I did something she doesn't approve of." It's about as vague as she can get without lying and she still squirms, praying he won't ask her to expand on it.
But he's too sleepy to question her, just mumbles something against her shoulder that she can't quite make out and finishes off with a whispered, "She loves you."
The warmth that settles over her at the proclamation is terrifying and invigorating, the thought of there being two people here whocare, who have accepted her into their family so easily, a warning sign that might've frightened her off not too long ago. Instead, she rests a cheek against the top of Henry's head and feels the softness of his hair against her chin as he drifts off.
Naturally, it's the evil queen who finds them huddled against Snow's door only a few minutes later, a new dress accentuating the rotation of her hips as she walks over to them. "How do you always know where I am?" Emma mutters, not quite meeting Regina's eyes. Her body is still relaxed and limber from their last encounter but her mind's been a turmoil of guilt and shame since she'd seen Snow, and she has no energy for another confrontation.
Regina arches a brow, crouching to the floor beside her. "I was looking for Henry," she says lowly, but she isn't quite as abrasive as usual, and she doesn't look directly at Emma, either. "Henry, dear," she murmurs, her voice soft to Emma's ears. "You need to get to bed." She slides an arm under his knees and another at the small of his back, and when she strains to lift him without much success, Emma moves her own arms to rest under Regina's, lifting him with her.
She tugs for a moment before Regina drops her own arms and Emma can sling Henry over her shoulder. He shifts in her arms, his own hands settling around her, and Regina puts a supportive hand against his back as Emma struggles to carry him to his room. "I didn't take him out here," Emma feels obligated to inform Regina. "He came to me on his own."
"As he's wont to do," the other woman says dryly, and Emma almost smiles at her.
She lays Henry down on his bed and steps back for a moment as Regina pulls the blanket over him, a finger tracing his features as he sleeps, unaware of his two mothers staring down at him. His face is peaceful, whatever lines had strained it relaxing at Regina's touch, and Regina's own features are smooth and serene, too, as she gazes upon him.
"Why didn't you just magic him into bed?" Emma wonders in a whisper. She knows from tonight that Regina is more than capable of forcing people where she wants them to be.
But Regina's face tightens again and she murmurs, "I would never use magic on Henry."
"Oh. Good."
Regina's still staring at her, her lips pursed. "Why were you outside her door?" She mentions Snow with practiced disdain, and Emma can feel her own hackles rise at the reminder of Snow's hurt, and at Regina as its source.
"I don't really think that's your business," she responds, and Regina's brow furrows at her tone.
She doesn't stay to argue about it, just turns away from mother and son and makes her way back to her room.
Snow is avoiding her the next day, as much as she can while Emma's tagging along with Henry and her again, trying to get a moment alone with her. "Snow, it's not like I meant to hurt you-" she tries, when Henry pulls up at his reins and his horse breaks into a gallop.
Snow turns away. "Do you know what she's done to your- to us? To me, to Charming, to this whole kingdom? What she's done toyou?" She squeezes her knees against her horse, speeding up to catch up with Henry.
"I know! I do." Emma attempts to duplicate Snow and her horse rears, sending her toppling down to soft grass yet again.
"Emma!" Henry notices before Snow, who's studiously staring at the grass ahead of her, and he's turning to go to her when Snow gallops closer and murmurs something to him. He nods and pulls his reins until his horse turns to head out into the fields.
Snow is the one who climbs down to help Emma, stretching out a hand to yank her up, and Emma doesn't miss the opportunity to continue. "I know it's a terrible idea and I know what she is and what she's done. It isn't like I meant for this to happen! And it won't again," she says, completely without conviction. She knows herself too well, knows that this has been going on for too long now to give it up. Not while they're in such close quarters. Not when she only has to see Regina's face before her legs turn to jelly and she's calculating exactly how long it'll take to pull off whatever (completely indecent! They're all indecent now, teasing something Emma craves more than decent coffee) dress the other woman is wearing that day.
Snow shakes her head, sinking down to the grass below them. "Emma, I can't tell you what to do, no matter how much I disagree with your decisions." She pauses, frowning. "And how… complicated this might be. We don't choose who we're attracted to, I suppose. Even if it's someone as incapable of redemption as the evil queen," she adds, and Emma's head is starting to ache at the honey-laden pressure in Snow's tone.
She has that right, and Emma won't begrudge her it- she's probably right anyway and Emma is better off alone than with Regina. An evil queen has never been the fairytale dream- though Maleficent had been a looker even in cartoon version, actually- and Emma can't think of one way that this won't end without her compromising who she is or with a broken heart.
"But what about Henry?" Snow asks, and Emma looks up to stare into the distance, where Regina's son is still riding, glancing back at them with curiosity. "What are you going to tell him about your relation-" She stops, swallowing. "About whatever's between you and Regina?"
She doesn't know what to tell Henry, who loves his mother and loathes all she is and would be just as horrified and damaged by her revelation as Snow is. And Snow, at least, understands what kind of attraction might draw Emma in, why adults make bad decisions sometimes. Henry is young and naïve and Emma doesn't dare be the one to open his mind to all the grey places he doesn't have to go just yet.
He's so much more innocent than she had been at that age, privileged and untouched by the ravages of evil- the evil of the real world, where people aren't turned to stone but they break and shatter regardless, and with each individual shattered comes edges sharp enough to break someone else. She never wants Henry broken.
And yet her feet lead her to the royal dining hall as dusk approaches, seeking Henry out despite her better judgment, and it's only once she's there that she can justify her own selfishness in involving him, only once his eyes light up as Regina's darken and he beams at her from across the table as she takes a seat.
The server glances at her bare place at the table and then Regina, frowning as he awaits further command.
"What a surprise to see you here," Regina says frostily.
Emma tosses a sidelong glance to Henry, whose grin is faltering in the face of his mother's cool reception. "I…uh, I thought I'd join you for dinner." She doesn't say please or if that's all right- Regina doesn't react to civility like she does Emma's brashness- but meets Regina's eyes as fully as she can, and there might be a tiny bit of the uncertainty from last night in Regina's face when she looks away.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Regina demands of the server, irritated. "Go set Miss Swan a place. And don't ever make us wait again." Henry stares disbelievingly at his mother but Emma smiles at the table, and when she dares meet Regina's gaze again, there's a thoughtful smirk playing at the queen's lips.
They eat in silence as Henry tells Regina about his day, Emma interjecting only to defend her honor at his assertions of her terrible horsemanship. "Hey, kid, we don't all grow up with pet ponies."
"I did." It's Regina who cuts in, an elegant eyebrow raised in amusement. "Long before I was any royalty that mattered. In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone in this reign who hadn't ridden a horse as a child."
"Yeah, well, we had bikes and cars to worry about out there." Emma gestures vaguely in the direction she thinks might be the rest of Maine. "Bet you'd have more trouble with them, too."
"Those metal boxes with the wheels attached?" Regina wrinkles her nose. "I would far prefer a proper steed to one of those. How can you even see properly when you're inside the box? Where does the driver sit?" She shrugs, nearly toppling over the nervous server as he tries to lean in to set a plate down in front of her. "How can you ride something so false, without the wind in your hair and the feel beneath your knees as a horse gallops? Without a steed as aware of you as you are it?"
Her eyes are almost dreamy with the thought of riding and Emma can't help the smile edging up her lips at the other woman's sudden fervor. She hasn't seen Regina quite this passionate about anything but Henry before, and there's a whole new level of beauty to her when her eyes are shining and the smile on her face is genuine. It's enough to make Emma forget that there are other people in the room, to want to reach out and trace the lines of Regina's face until they stay that way, before-
And then Regina's eyes are black and livid and the server is half bent over Henry's place when he's thrown backward, pinned against the wall and helpless against the queen's fury. "How dare you?" Regina hisses, and Emma jumps up to grab her arm as she plunges it forward into the man's heart.
"Regina, what the hell?" The muscles under where her palm is resting are tense and coiled with rage, the man in front of them moaning pleas for mercy, and Regina is quivering with a fury Emma doesn't understand at all. "Regina!" she snaps again, and this time the other woman finally pauses, her hand ostensibly wrapped around the server's heart from the sounds of his moans.
"I am no stranger to poison," Regina says slowly, and a chill spreads through Emma's body as she remembers the resistance's last meeting. They'd moved fast, much faster than she'd have thought this would take. And she can't quite justify the relief that washes over her horror as Regina calmly dismisses the poison.
The terror that follows Regina's next words is something else entirely, freezing Emma in her tracks and filling her with dread. "But to target my son as well?" Her hand tightens around the server's heart and he chokes.
"Please, I know nothing! I only brought the meal in from the kitchen!" Emma hears the protest as though from afar, the food in front of Henry's seat all she can see. The poisoned food, the food meant for the queen but just as gladly offered to his son and their guest for dinner.
The resistance doesn't care who is killed in the crossfire. Regina's too big a target for them to bother to discriminate, and Emma's nearly too shaken to react when Regina yanks the heart out and snaps, "Shut your mouth!"
Nearly. And there's a fragment of her that's just as willing to see this man die for his error, but too much of who she is is dependent on the part of her that squeezes Regina's arm and says with fire, "Not him. We don't know if it's him who did this."
"I did nothing!" The man repeats, turning to gabble at Emma as he recognizes a new hope. "I can tell you who cooked it! Who brought it to me! I'll tell you anything!"
"Shut up," Emma says fiercely, because this is still the man who nearly fed Henry poison, and even if he's innocent she'd wouldn't regret his death nearly as much as she should. "You know nothing." She knows who's behind this, even if she can't pinpoint his messenger, and he's the one she wants to see pay, unlikely as it is.
Regina turns her glare on Emma, and it's like being scorched alive. She quails under it for a moment before she can gather herself again. "Regina, please. Not in front of Henry." Their son is still sitting in his place, clutching onto a spoon and staring down at the polished wood of the table. "Don't…"
And where pleading would fail, it's Henry's bowed head that succeeds, and Regina shoves the heart back in just as angrily and snaps, "Go back to your village. If I ever see your face again, I'll kill you where you stand." She's still trembling when the server scampers out, but fear has replaced fury and she's breaking away from Emma to run to Henry, who's quick to wrap his arms around his mother as she falls to the ground beside his chair, burying her face in his arms and sliding him into her embrace.
Emma, forgotten, can only watch.
This is Rumpelstiltskin's doing, Rumpelstiltskin's plots and his machinations that have put Henry and Regina in danger. No, she corrects herself firmly. That have put Henry in danger. Period. She can't afford to worry about Regina, not when she's the villain who's had this coming, who's chosen her own path in life and continued down that dark way until now. That way lies complications she can't explore without inspecting some very questionable decisions she's made of late.
But Henry…Henry's just a kid who loves his mother and dreams of a day when her tyranny is defeated, without ever realizing that that won't be anything as simple as her stepping down as queen and living happily ever after in the village. No, there is no happy ending for Regina, not if anyone else is going to have one of their own, and Regina's just as trapped in her position now as she might have been before her unwilling marriage had come to an end.
Stop thinking about Regina! something in her subconscious growls, and Emma pulls her gaze away from the mother still whispering promises to her son, from the son still clinging to his mother, and turns to the door instead.
There is one thing she can do, and that's confront the man who's responsible for this. Henry cannot be in danger, and she's going to get that promise from Rumpelstiltskin or reveal everything to Regina.
It's the least she can do, after standing by and letting them carry out this treacherous plan that had nearly murdered the son who isn't hers but feels like one of her own regardless.
She's halfway down the hall when Regina calls her name from just outside the dining hall, Henry scampering past her to run up to the library. "Emma, wait."
All that remains of their ordeal is a slight softening in Regina's face, and when she moves closer- close enough to invade Emma's personal space, a hand sliding up her tunic to stroke her back possessively- Emma can see the desperation for contact right now, for a release of the frustrations that Emma feels keenly as well. "I'm going to discuss this situation with Doctor Frankenstein. Be in my quarters before I'm finished." Her breath is hot against Emma's cheek, and Emma's eyes fall closed as Regina's teeth tease at her earlobe. Emma shifts closer unconsciously, plans of finding Belle gone as quickly as Regina's hand had found the small of her back, and Regina hums with approval as Emma twitches under her ministrations.
"You know," she breathes. "I may yet have to find some more time for you to spend with Henry if this continues."
Something in Emma's throat closes at that proclamation. "Wh-what?"
Regina smiles against her ear. "I do have…incentive to keep you happy, Miss Swan."
It's easy to push her away then, to step out of her grasp, Emma's heart thudding with newfound anger, finally directed at Regina again. "I'm not your whore or your huntsman, your Majesty, " she retorts, her hands clenching into fists. "And I won't be bought. Not by you. Not by anyone."
She's angry, probably angrier than she should be, but she's so tired of being used and manipulated by the people here for their every agenda. And from Rumpelstiltskin it feels like she's a pawn in a game he plays with everyone, but that doesn't sting like it does to hear from the person she's sleeping with that she's no more than an object to bring Regina pleasure. Just a bed warmer, getting a treat for her good behavior. Just a pet.
She can't control this anger, can't afford to equate it with any kind of heartbreak when this has been a strictly physical arrangement all along. She can't do anything but lash out at Regina, who's standing in front of her, her lips parted in confusion and maybe a little guilt. "Get out of my way," she snaps, shoving past the queen, and Regina is knocked forcefully to the side, enough for her to have to catch herself against the wall before she falls, but she still does nothing.
Emma storms up the stairs, anger fading into exhaustion and heartache with every step until she's standing in front of Snow's door instead of her own. And when Snow needs only one look at her before she's wrapped in the other woman's arms, Emma feels like she can rest at last.