A/N: Uhh... I hope it's good enough? Okita is a little difficult to write. He's too... sadistic. I hope I get him right.

Love's Redemption

Hijikata was unbelievably easy to read, especially nowadays. Okita was a little disappointed when he didn't have to torture fellow Shinsengumi members to make them say where their demon vice commander was going during his patrol. Hijikata was definitely confused and nervous, scouting so many places couples usually go to on dates. Okita should help him out with that, shouldn't he?

Deliberately Okita loudly asked a Shinsengumi member about the first date he just had during dinner with other members of Shinsengumi. The room was immediately filled with teasing, jealous outbursts, as well as weird and lewd suggestions. Okita didn't expect Kondou to give the best advice, though, since what the man deemed as a date was really stalking.

"First date is the most important step in a relationship. You must leave a good impression on your girlfriend so that she will be willing to see you again and again!" He proclaimed in lovesick seriousness. "The impression you leave as a lover will determine whether she's going to try to stay with you or not."

The other men applauded the comment, approving the random moment of wisdom. Okita glanced at Hijikata who paused as he attempted to cover his meal with mayonnaise. He recognized panic there as well as careful calculation. Had he planned something stupid for their date?

"Going to a movie is a must!" Someone said loudly.

"Yes! Horror movies are the best. That's guaranteed to make them scream and cling to you. That'll give you a reason to get your hands on her!" Another person said, followed by loud laughter from almost everyone.

Hijikata seemed horrified when he heard that. So he was planning to take Okita to the movie. Too bad he's going to take Okita somewhere else. It would be easy to take him out in the dark. But no. That's a very easy end compared to the pain he had created.

"Darkness is the best! If no one can see you, it's a good place!"

"Oh, have you heard about the young couple busted at the park the other day?"

The conversation quickly turned dirtier and dirtier and Hijikata's face turned paler and paler. Okita watched with interest as Hijikata slowly lost his courage. The poor thing was really at lost now. Okita had no desire to make him feel better. Wasn't it pretty obvious that Hijikata didn't have to try to leave any kind of impression on Okita? They had known each other for a very long time. Okita had never and would never change his mind about the man. He hated Hijikata. Date or no date, that sentiment would always stay.

"Oh, are you two going out?" Kondou asked when he saw Hijikata and Okita leaving the Shinsengumi headquarter together.

"Yes. It's our day off." Hijikata mumbled behind his cigarette. Obviously the last thing he wanted was to be questioned by their commander just before they went out. So he wanted to keep it a secret, eh? What was he worried about? Being known to have a feeling or being seen on a date with another male? Who was he trying to protect by pushing everyone away? In the end he only hurt others he claimed to love.

"Are you going together?" Kondou asked in mild disbelieve.

Okita used the chance to step closer to Hijikata. "Hijikata-san wants to take me on a date." He told Kondou.

Hijikata sputtered and tried to distance himself from Okita. Meanwhile Kondou blinked in surprise and confusion. It took him a while to gather his senses and laugh. "Well, have fun, you two. A male bonding between two samurai is always a good thing."

Okita watched the man leave. Kondou wouldn't know what's going on even if he saw Okita and Hijikata having sex in front of him. Oh, well. Too bad. It didn't mean he shouldn't try that some time in the future, though. No doubt the humiliation would live with Hijikata for the rest of his life.

"Why did you say that?" Hijikata demanded in embarrassment.

Okita shrugged in indifference. "I just told him the truth. Are we going or not?"

Hijikata glared at him for a moment before walking past him to the gate. "Let's go." He muttered.

"Should we hold hands?"

"Shut up!"

Okita followed Hijikata dutifully just this once. He wasn't sure where Hijikata was going to take him to. He was pretty sure that cinema and parks were out, though. A part of him was eager to find out the plan made for him. It wasn't everyday that Okita had the chance to see Hijikata's approach in romantic relationships and humiliate him at the same time.

Was this what a date with HIjikata was like? Was this what those women dreamt about? If it were his sister, what would Hijikata do? Okita felt his blood boiled when he imagined Hijikata and Mitsuba together. He knew the happiness wouldn't last long even if Hijikata had pursued Mitsuba. He would leave her sooner or later, leaving her in loneliness and sadness. Everything would end up the same way. Why did Mitsuba love him in the first place?

Okita blinked blankly at the screaming crowd and the lighted boxing ring in the center of the large room. A boxing match? Really? Hijikata's prowess in romance was as terrible as his personality, it seemed. Even Mitsuba wouldn't have approved… right? Okita knew his sister very well. He knew she would overlook the flaws and stupid mistakes. She was that kind. She adored Hijikata that much. Just like everybody else.

"You sure know how to impress your date." Okita commented as they waited for the fighters to enter the ring. Meanwhile, three dancers entertained the crowd, shaking their bodies wildly in something akin to a ritualistic dance. Okita thought the one with braided silver hair looked familiar but he wasn't so keen on watching the dancers.

Hijikata exhaled his cigarette smoke, looking a little more comfortable now. "You like watching people fight." He said simply.

Okita was going to reply with something insulting but the announcer had invited the fighters to the ring. Despite his desire to further torture Hijikata, Okita was unable to ignore the fight soon unfolding in the ring. He could defeat them in no time at all, but it always made him feel better to see two people stupidly fighting each other for absurd reasons. At least there would be fewer idiots by the end of the day. Okita wished Hijikata would join one of these matches.

They didn't talk as their attentions were focused solely on the fight. When it's over and a bloody fighter was declared winner, Okita prepared an insult to Hijikata but was distracted again when another fight began. He frowned, trying to decide whether to watch the match or to further humiliate Hijikata. Okita decided to do both.

Hijikata shifted away when Okita leaned close but Okita wrapped his arm around Hijikata's and pulled him close. Hijikata was surprisingly warm. His toned body was surprisingly comfortable to the touch. Okita imagined many women would love to be wrapped in those arms. If only Mitsuba wasn't one of them… "Who do you think is going to win this?" He asked, leaning close to Hijikata. He knew many eyes were staring at them. Hijikata was surely very conscious of this fact.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hijikata asked as he tried to pull his arms away.

"Eh? Don't couples do this during dates?" Okita asked loud enough to be heard by people around them. He sensed surprise, disgust, and some jealousy. Not that he cared. In fact he didn't care at all what it could do to himself. His only focus was causing damage in Hijikata's life.

Hijikata looked appalled but for some reason stopped pushing Okita away. "Just… don't get too close." He said as he tried to look as if he didn't know the boy clinging to his arms. It failed, of course, as Okita was almost draped over him. Okita decided that he didn't care to tease some more for now, though. The fight was interesting after all.

So the fighting ring was a good choice after all. Hijikata could almost enjoy himself if not for the spectacle Okita created. He withstood the insulting jeers, the non-accidental kicks and shoves, the disgusted look, anything. In other situation he might not endured the treatment quietly but he knew that this was what Okita was aiming for. This was what he deserved; to be hated. Hijikata wondered if the boy thought of his action carefully, though. The consequences wouldn't only befall him. Okita could and would be on the receiving end. Did he ever stop to think of what could happen to himself? Hijikata kept his eyes on the boy the entire day. He might deserve this treatment but Okita didn't.

The sky had grown dark when they exited the unnamed building. Hijikata could tell that Okita was more relaxed now than in the beginning of their date. It's almost as if the boy wasn't aware of the way other audiences treated him. It's quite a relief that they managed to leave the building relatively unscathed.

"What's next?" Okita asked, with that blank expression of his. Hijikata wondered what he really felt and thought of right now.

Hijikata looked at the glittering stars that began to emerge in the sky. He looked away when it rouse sad nostalgia from a time that wouldn't return. "What about dinner?"

Hijikata took Okita to a ramen shop he frequented. Thankfully there weren't so many patrons there because there was no way of telling what Okita would do. He was honestly too exhausted to defend civilians from Okita's sadism. Right now all he wanted to do was return to the compound and rest, waiting for tomorrow to come bring him a semblance of normalcy. But he wasn't going to get that so easily, was he?

"Is this your idea of a date?" Okita asked, slurping his ramen calmly.

Hijikata blinked in confusion. "Ah." He eventually answered in uncertainty. He's never thought of going on dates before he asked Okita to go on one with him. He had resigned himself to a lonely life, never expecting to get involved in romantic relationship with anyone.

"Would you have taken my sister to that kind of place if she had been alive?" Okita asked, glancing at the vice commander.

"What? I…"

"What is your idea of a date with my sister? Don't tell me you've never thought of it."

Hijikata put down his chopsticks, appetite gone at the thought of the 'could have'. Had he ever thought of going on dates with Mitsuba? Only every night before he slept. In his dreams he saw them together, smiling happily in a perfect world untouched by death and violence. In his dreams he held Mitsuba tightly, lovingly. In his dreams he could be honest. In his dreams he made her happy.

But when he woke up, those images were gone. He'd wake up alone and cold and Mitsuba was always so far away. He'd tell himself that there was no place for regret, no point in looking back to what's been done. But the longing never disappeared, the wishes wouldn't leave. And now, it really was too late. There was nothing he could do to change the situation. There's nothing he could do for Mitsuba.

"I don't know. I don't care."

"You don't care about making my sister happy?"

Hijikata looked at Okita. When they were this close, he could really see the boy's resemblance with Mitsuba. The hair, the eyes, and the skin color were identical to hers. His sadness and loneliness urged him to hold the person before him, to have that unattainable person in his arms. He held himself back. This wasn't Mitsuba, no matter how similar the look might be. There was something colder there though; anger that Mitsuba wouldn't display. Had she been angry with him before her death? She had every right to be angry. After all Hijikata had destroyed her chances of being happy.

"I care." He answered truthfully. He cared. But his terrible decision had stolen her happiness instead.

Okita looked at him for a long time before turning back to his meal. "You only care about your own convenience."

Hijikata said nothing. There was nothing he could say. Okita was right. He only cared about his ideas of happiness. When he realized that his ideas weren't similar to others, it was far too late. It was far too late for him to make others happy. It was far too late to make Mitsuba happy.

Hijikata didn't realize that he was following Okita to his room until the boy turned to face him. This wasn't like him at all to be so distracted but he couldn't help it this time. Hijikata was almost afraid to look at Okita. He didn't think he could handle more anger in those red eyes that were so similar to Mitsuba. Would she have forgiven him if he had apologized in time? Would she have been at least a little happier?

"Do you want to come in?" Okita asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Huh? No, I…"

"Do you want to sleep with me?"

The question startled Hijikata. He looked at Okita in disbelieve. "What?" When Okita continued to look at him with that blank expression, Hijikata sighed. He looked away, not wanting Okita to read his expression. "What on earth are you thinking, Sougo?"

"Did you not want to sleep with my sister?"

Hijikata closed his eyes. Of course he did. Of course he longed to embrace Mitsuba. Of course he longed to love her. The desire would only live in his heart, though. His cowardice and selfishness hadn't allowed him to pursue that passion. He had chosen to live without love.

Shaking his head, Hijikata turned away. "You're not your sister. Good night, Sougo."

He felt those eyes on his back until he rounded a corner. Only then Hijikata stopped and sighed deeply. His chest felt heavy with unknown emotions. There was so much pain he didn't know where to begin. And he knew this was only the beginning.

TBC

A/N: Good enough, I hope. R&R, please!