Author's Note: Well, another chapter for this sneaked (it still doesn't seem right to me to use 'sneaked' instead of 'snuck' as the past-tense form of 'sneak') up on me, and so now I present this to you. It's about thrice the size of the first chapter, so that's either good or bad depending on your stance in that argument. Anyway, this is just that first little meeting with the other trainees in the 104th, and next chapter will (hopefully) start moving things forward at a much quicker pace.
Disclaimer: Still stands from chapter the first
Warnings: Also still stands. I did forget to mention that there will be spoilers from the manga up to its current position (as of this posting, it's Chapter 50: Cry), so beware of the spoilings which will be dropped very soon.
Chapter 2: Reason for Fighting
Armin stared out at his friend from the porch of the mess hall worriedly as he and Sasha rounded off yet another lap around the dusty field.
"They're still at it?" Armin spun around and found another of the cadets, one Marco Bott moving forward to watch the pair run. Behind him were two others, Mina Carolina and Connie Springer.
"Yeah," Armin muttered, turning back just in time to see Eren catch Sasha when she stumbled from fatigue.
"Dang, it's been five hours and that Jaeger guy doesn't even seem to be tired," Connie observed, leaning against the rail.
"Oh, he's exhausted alright," Armin quipped, glancing at the way Eren picked up his feet a little too slowly, and how his shoulders were a bit too stiff. "He's just too stubborn to show it."
"You two are both from Zhiganshina, huh?" Marco asked softly.
Armin nodded gravely, that day still as fresh in his mind as if it had been yesterday rather than five years ago.
"So you saw the Colossal Titan?" Connie asked, looking interested
The blonde boy was furious with himself when he couldn't suppress the shudder that crawled down his spine at the mention of that...that monstrosity. He was grateful when Marco changed the subject to Sasha's hometown, and felt just a bit more cowardly than before.
After watching for another few minutes, Armin went back inside and sat himself beside Mikasa, who was, as usual, quiet as she ate.
At least, until she wasn't.
"Do you think Eren has feelings for that girl?" she asked him straight out of nowhere. Armin was temporarily speechless. He felt both his eyebrows rise so high upon his forehead that for one irrational moment, he was afraid they'd disappear into his hair.
"Er, why would you think that?" he finally replied when he regained his voice.
"Eren isn't usually so protective of strangers," she said, a tiny crease appearing above her nose. It was probably the closest Armin had ever seen Mikasa come to a true frown. "Yet he quickly came to her defense."
Armin chuckled feebly, even as he saw where her thoughts had taken her. "You're probably reading too much into it, Mikasa," he answered, awkwardly patting her forearm. "He only just met her, and I doubt Eren has any room for feelings of infatuation with all that rage and vengeance in him."
Mikasa pondered on this for a moment before nodding. "I suppose you're right," she answered. "You always are, after all."
It was another thirty minutes before Eren burst into the mess hall, and it looked like it was taking all of his pigheadedness to walk as though he hadn't run for roughly six hours. His eyes roamed over the other cadets until he spotted the two and his face brightened.
"Hey, guys," he said lightly, and Armin almost did a double-take at the half-smile on his face as Mikasa pushed a bowl of stew and a loaf of bread toward him. "Thanks, Mikasa, I'm freakin' starving."
"I thought you were supposed to run until you collapsed," she said dully.
"Sasha did, and I figured that one of us falling down was good enough," Eren explained, "so I helped her to her barracks until Christa and Ymir took her off my hands and I came back here."
"So," Armin began, "I've been wondering why exactly you stuck up for that girl, actually. Come to think of it, you've been acting a little weird since the Rite of Passage began."
"Well," Eren said slowly, swallowing his mouthful of soup, "we're soldiers now, Armin, and a soldier is only as good as his platoon. An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, and if we're not able to grasp that concept now, then we'll all be titan-chow when the time comes."
"That's...a surprisingly mature view," the blonde said, understanding his motives but pretty bewildered at the fact that Eren of all people had actually thought something through like he had. Perhaps his friend was finally growing up?
"Besides," his friend continued, "I'm sure Sasha'd come up with something even stupider to say to Shadis if he'd continued down that line of questioning."
"So you're not infatuated with her," Mikasa kinda-sorta asked without any upward inflection at the end.
"What?" Eren snorted disbelievingly. "Braus isn't really my type. I mean, yeah, she's pretty enough, I suppose, but so are you, Mikasa, and I've been hanging around you for years." The moment Eren said that, Armin would have sworn upon the graves of his parents and grandfather that Mikasa had actually blushed. But Eren kept talking, and in the second Armin's focus was split between the two, the pink tinge had vanished from Mikasa's cheeks, and he had to wonder if he'd imagined it.
"Besides, if I asked her out, she'd probably just eat all my food as well as hers, and I'd end up broke at the end of the night."
As the conversation moved on, Armin watched as Mikasa's tense shoulders slump in...relief? Maybe her question hadn't been as out-of-the-blue as he'd originally thought.
Before the trio could fall into their usual eating habits, Marco and Connie approached them trying to appear to casually drift over.
"So, hey," Connie began as he slid onto the bench next to Eren. "I heard you were from Zhiganshina, yeah?"
Eren looked more amused than anything, so Armin decided to let them have their say. "That's right. The three of us are, actually," he added, gesturing to Armin and Mikasa. "Why? Was there something you wanted to ask about our fair and peaceful district?"
The irony that bled into the latter question seemed to fly right over Connie's shaven head. "Um, did you actually get to see the Colossal Titan?"
"Yep," Eren answered, taking a bite from his bread. "Big, ugly son of a bitch, really. The best way I can describe him is 'FUBAR.'"
"It's Fu-what?" Connie asked in confusion.
"FUBAR," Marco supplied helpfully. "It's a military acronym which stands for, 'Fucked up beyond all recognition.' It's mostly used to describe the corpses of fallen troops who can't be identified because of...reasons."
As more and more trainees began to huddle around the table, Armin saw Mikasa slip away to a less crowded table, and cursed himself for not doing the same. All these people asking Eren to divulge information about the day his mother died could only lead to a blow-up of epic proportions, and he didn't want to be anywhere near it.
"Yes, I've already told you!" Eren finally growled after yet another of their fellow cadets asked about the Colossal-type. "It's a big honkin' titan with barely any skin and a teeny-tiny head in proportion to its body."
"How big is it?" Mina piped up, looking both terrified and curious at once.
"Sixty meters, give or take," Eren grunted. "Big enough to look over Maria, but only its head. Certainly not as big as some of the ridiculous rumors about it stepping over the Wall. If it was that big, I doubt it would be able to even move at all, let alone straddle a fifty-meter stone barricade."
"And the Armored Titan? What about that one?" Thomas pressed eagerly.
Eren snorted as he took a gulp of water. "They call it that, but it wasn't too much different from a regular fifteen-meter class. Maybe a little taller."
"Th-then what's a normal titan look like?" asked a trainee named Nack.
Armin watched on, ready to intervene, as Eren set his spoon down into the bowl carefully and stared into the dregs of stew, apparently deep in thought.
"Hey, let's cut it out with the questions," Marco suggested. "I'm sure there are things which are best left forgotten in Zhiganshina."
"Oh, man," Connie muttered, as though just realizing then how sensitive the topic of conversation had been. "We're sorry, Jaeger, we didn't mean-"
"It's fine," Eren assured with a small smile. He was still looking at his food, but the faraway look in his eyes had vanished, and he lifted his head to gaze at each one of them. "The titans are...well, if I said scary, or terrifying, or even shit-in-your-pants horrifying, it wouldn't come close to the truth. They are the single most fear-inspiring thing I can think of."
The group that had gathered began to murmur restlessly, and Armin could see the discontent Eren's words had induced, the seeds of doubt that had been planted in some of their fellows. If left unchecked, it might cause a whole lot more drop-outs than they'd had that afternoon.
"Eren," Armin said softly, but Eren simply gave the blonde a fierce grin before following up on his initial statement.
"What I was getting to was that it isn't their strength or size which is their most formidable weapon, it's terror. The fear they cause sows panic, which leads to confusion, which can end up in countless deaths that could have been prevented. That's why I'm here: to learn and grow strong enough that I don't have to worry about being scared."
Well, well, Armin thought as he watched the uncertainty bleed out from the cadets' eyes to be replaced by confidence and conviction. It seems Eren's got some natural talent with oration. And here I thought it was just our friendship that got me so inspired when he's around.
"In three years' time, when I graduate and put on my 3D Maneuver Gear for the first time as a fully-qualified soldier, I'm gonna take that fear and shove it up the titans' collective ass," Eren finished boldly. "And once I join the Survey Corps and wipe the titans off the face of this earth, me, Armin, and Mikasa are gonna explore the whole wide world, right?"
Armin blinked when everyone's attention shifted to him, then nodded firmly. "Right. Burning seas, frozen earth, we'll see it all."
"Oi, are you freakin' nuts?" came a voice from the other side of the wall of bodies. The cadets there parted to reveal an ash-haired young man sitting with his cheek resting on his hand and a mildly amused expression on his face. Armin vaguely recalled that his name was Jean something-or-other, and that he wanted to join the Military Police.
"Maybe a little," Eren said in answer to his rhetorical question. He raised a condescending eyebrow. "Why?"
"You said you wanted to join the Survey Corps," Jean observed.
"I certainly did, Captain Obvious," replied Eren. "What's your next trick? Gonna tell us you're going into the Military Police just for the hell of it?"
"That's right, I am joining the MPs," Jean said challengingly. "I say it how it is, unlike some people who talk like they've got balls of steel right after admitting how he pisses himself whenever he's near a titan."
"Oh, was that a shot at me?" Eren asked, faking obliviousness. Armin had to wonder just what had happened in Eren's mind today. A wise-crack like that should have set Eren off like a match to an HE shell normally. "To you yours, Jean Kirschtein, and to me, mine. But I'd love to see your reaction to seeing a titan break your mother's spine and bite her in half. A big macho man like you would probably rush in and kill it with your bare hands, right?"
The flippant way Eren spoke of his mother's death sent Armin's mind reeling, and his eyes sought out Mikasa, who was halfway back to their table, stopped in mid-stride with a gobsmacked (for her anyway) expression on her face. The others in the mess hall fidgeted awkwardly and mumbled under their breaths while Jean appeared to be speechless.
Eren stood and walked over to where Jean sat. "I'll ask you to learn a little something about a person before you start insulting their ideals and beliefs, please," he said quietly. "Or you'll end up sticking your foot in your big, stupid mouth."
"What was that?" Jean fired up immediately, shooting to his feet, and Eren jumped back lightly, chuckling.
Armin was close enough to hear him mutter to himself, "Was Jean always this easy to get angry?" Before Armin could try to comprehend what Eren meant, the dark-haired boy said aloud, "You're a funny guy, Jean. I meant no disrespect or to say that you're doing the wrong thing, and I apologize if it came across like that. Peace?"
He held out his hand as an offering. Jean looked down at it uncertainly, but nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry as well." He clasped Eren's hand, and then Eren turned to leave.
Armin was about to follow after him when he saw Mikasa brush past Jean, whose face became, if possible, more bewildered than it had during his and Eren's confrontation. The blonde watched in amusement as Jean's head followed her to the door before he called out hurriedly.
"H-hey!" When Mikasa turned back to him, he seemed to fumble on his words for a moment. "Well, um, it's just that...you look different than the rest of us. Sorry. Uh, your hair is very pretty?"
Mikasa leveled her disinterested gaze at him, then shrugged and said, "Thanks," before zeroing back in on Eren's back and trailing after him.
It took Jean a second to regain his bearings, but he followed onto the porch, and Armin went as well. He found Jean staring uncomprehendingly as Mikasa caught up to Eren and asked if he was alright.
"I'm fine, Mikasa," Eren said exasperatedly. "It's alright."
"You tend to do stupid things when you're thinking about...that day," she shot back sourly. "I just wanted to make sure."
Eren sighed and stopped long enough for her to match his stride. "Well, I can't get mad at you for watching my back, I guess," he remarked thoughtfully. "Sorry I snapped."
To the blonde, it was as though Jean's head were transparent, and he could practically see the cogs of his mind churning toward a conclusion. When it was reached, Jean's expression seemed to shatter into a million tiny pieces of disappointment and helpless rage.
As Connie passed by, humming contentedly, Jean's hand shot out and he wiped his fingers against the back of Connie's shirt.
"H-hey!" Connie shouted, whirling around. "What the hell did you wipe on my shirt!?"
A dead-eyed Jean answered, "My faith in humanity," as tonelessly as possible.
Armin was barely able to duck past them and run up to his two friends before bursting into laughter.
"What's got you in such a good mood?" Eren asked as Armin trotted up, still letting out an odd snort here and there.
"Nothing, really," Armin said once he'd reigned his mirth in. "I've just got a good feeling about the next three years."
"Yeah, me too," Eren agreed. "I can't wait to start training with the maneuver gear." They walked along in silence for awhile, listening to the chatter of the other trainees as they headed to their barracks.
Armin almost flinched reflexively when Eren's hand whipped out and played with a few loose strands of Mikasa's hair. "It's getting pretty long now, huh?" he wondered aloud.
"Do you think I should cut it?" Mikasa asked. "It might get in the way of the 3D gear..."
Eren let out a guffaw. "Yeah, like that scarf won't? It'll be fine. I like your hair how it is just fine. If it actually does get caught, you can always cut it then, right?"
"...right," she murmured after a brief pause. "My barracks are here," she added, stopping at one of the wooden buildings that housed the trainee sleeping quarters. "Goodnight, you two. Get lots of rest for tomorrow."
"Okay," Armin nodded. "I have a feeling we'll need all the energy we can get tomorrow."
They parted ways there, and Eren and Armin wound their way to their own bunks, which were across from each other on the bottom.
Once it was quiet, and everyone had begun drifting off to sleep, Armin whispered, "Eren, are you awake?"
He had to wait for a few seconds, but then: "Yeah, what's up?"
"You've been acting a little...off today," Armin began. "I mean, it's nothing bad or anything; it's actually kinda refreshing for you to not explode at every single slight...but why now?"
Silence fell for about a minute, and Armin strained his eyes, hoping to catch a glimpse at Eren's features. Finally, Eren replied, "All this fanfare for the training we're about to undergo has gotten me to thinking, Armin. Thinking about things I'd rather not, but doing so all the same. We're gonna spend three years with these people, and in that time, I have little doubt that we'll be making friends with some of them and forging bonds that aren't so easy to break on a whim."
Armin waited while his friend gathered his thoughts, still wondering what had brought about the change.
"We're going to be fighting titans once everything's said and done," Eren murmured solemnly. "And titans kill. It's the only thing they do, and we're all going out to fight them. The odds aren't whether or not people will die, the odds are how many are going to survive an encounter with those things."
Closing his eyes, Armin began to see where Eren was going with that line of thought. "You don't want to lose anyone else."
Eren shifted so that his profile could be seen against the dim light of the lanterns outside the window, and he nodded shortly. "I swore that I'd kill all the titans, but I'm just one person. Realistically, I'd never be able to do such a thing. And I know I'll need help, but...I hate the thought that there will be deaths by the wagon-load every single time we face more than half a dozen titans. It's just not in the cards."
"Then why not shun all the bonding, if you think it would hurt too much?" Armin asked softly.
"That would be stupid," Eren answered shortly. "Your grandpa told me once that he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being Man. But that got me thinking that getting rid of the pain also robs you of the pleasure and contentment of being human as well."
"What do you mean?"
Eren sighed, and Armin could tell he was struggling for the words at this point. "It's like...that day. I would never have felt so awful when my mother died if I'd never felt such wonder and happiness while she was...still with us. You can't feel sad unless you've felt joy, and the other way around as well. We wouldn't know what it is to be human if we can't take the good with the bad. It's like...it's like a beautiful sadness." Armin heard Eren snort. "I feel like I'm just spouting nonsense right now."
"No," Armin insisted, half sitting up in bed to look at Eren fully. "No, I think it makes perfect sense, Eren. A beautiful sadness. I think that sums up life pretty well, actually."
Quiet descended upon them once more, and Armin couldn't help the racing thoughts as they zoomed around in his mind. Finally, he asked, "Do you think the training will be difficult?"
"I sure as hell hope so," Eren chortled under his breath. "Goodnight, Armin. Try to wake me up if I have any nightmares, okay?"
"Okay," Armin assured him. "Goodnight, Eren."
After-Action Report: So I figured Armin would be a good POV to work with, seeing as how he knows Eren the best at this point, and would notice the glaring inconsistencies that would more than likely crop up due to that pesky timey-wimey business. And yes, I took that 'beautiful sadness' line from South Park. Because Butters rocks.
Anyway, next chapter will more than likely deal with a lot of the training the cadets will go through, so expect it to jump around a little, both through time and through POVs. I really like doing the third-person limited thing because it's just so darn fun! So...yeah.
Review and tell me what you think of the ramblings of an idiot at five in the morning! It makes me happy, even if it's...less than pleasant.