Settling Down 1919
Where Thou art—that—is Home—
Cashmere—or Calvary—the same—
Degree—or Shame—
I scarce esteem Location's Name—
So I may Come—
What Thou dost—is Delight—
Bondage as Play—be sweet—
Imprisonment—Content—
And Sentence—Sacrament—
Just We two—meet—
Where Thou art not—is Woe—
Tho' Bands of Spices—row—
What Thou dost not—Despair—
Tho' Gabriel—praise me—Sire—
- Emily Dickinson
April 1919
Nobody said that it would all be easy; but Sybil and Tom had been aware of this even before they had made their respective choices. Maybe they were a pair of young idealists, but they were not insensible idealists. Both lady and her chauffeur had known what they had been taking on when they had decided to be together.
As such, the young lovers were constantly smiling even though they needed to deal with a lot of issues. Firstly, they had to buy a flat for themselves. Thankfully, Tom had saved some money during his employment in England, and Sybil had the money that she had received from her father. Truth be told, Tom was initially hesitant to use Lord Grantham's fortune, but Sybil made him realize that the flat was going to serve them both, so he would not be using that money only for himself. Mrs. Branson also had offered to lend them some of her savings, which touched Sybil immensely because the older woman was by no means made of money. All my other children are already settled down, and I don't need much money because I lead a simple lifestyle. Why should I not spend money on my own son? Sybil had already learnt by then that there was no point in disagreeing with Mrs. Branson. Hence, she and Tom had had no other choice but to accept that generous gift and try to recompensate it in the future.
For the time being, Sybil lived with Mrs. Branson, whereas Tom moved into his brother's flat. Soon, however, he intended to live at his and Sybil's new home. But first, they of course needed to find it. Tom got in touch with his old friends and also asked his new colleagues from work for help. Not before long, the young couple had a list of flats that were available for sale. Then, they decided to have a look at them together; it had always been this way with Sybil and Tom – they always had to do everything accompanied by the other. It was simply in the nature of their bond.
The first few flats unfortunately did not suit their needs or taste; but the big day did finally come.
It was love at first sight. They only saw the building and its whereabouts, and they immediately felt that it was what they were searching for. Once the young pair crossed the threshold, then, they were sure - that flat was perfect for them to begin their life together.
"What do you think of it, love?" whispered Tom to his fiancée after they entered the bedroom.
"I think that it's exactly what we need, Tom," replied Sybil and approached the window.
The weather in Dublin was awful that day; it had been raining since the early morning and the sky was completely covered with dark, nontransparent clouds. Nonetheless, in this moment Sybil felt an immense relief, and the raindrops seemed to soothe her heart. "This is your new home", the universe was telling her.
"Tom, I really think that it's our new home," Sybil suddenly stated.
"Why?" inquired Tom with an indulgent smile.
"Because… I feel safe and relaxed here. I suppose that you understand me… when you're somewhere and the weather is terrible and you just feel that you could curl in the bed here and forget about everything… this is home."
Tom nodded his agreement ."It's affordable for us. It suits our needs. We feel good here. I'm afraid, darling, that we have to buy it."
"But do you really like it?"
Tom's answer was really simple. He took Sybil into a close embrace and kissed her warmly.
"I thought that we had to seal the deal," he explained.
Sybil grinned and led him to the window. Together, they looked at the Dublin street through the window pane of their new home.
Tom started to be nervous.
He was sitting by the desk in his mother's flat, trying to do some work. Unfortunately, he couldn't focus on it. He was seriously worried about Sybil.
Today, she had an interview at the Dublin hospital during which it was to be decided whether she would get a job as a nurse or not.
Tom knew how important it was for Sybil. She both wanted to have something to do as well as feel accepted as a "Dubliner", not just some visitor to the place. He also feared that she would get lost in the city that she still didn't know too well.
Oh Tom, I need to get acquainted with Dublin as soon as possible. I'm going to live there, perhaps even for the rest of my life. You or your mother will not always walk with me. Believe me, I'm up to the challenge, the young Irishman recalled his fiancee's words. Oh, how he loved that woman! Her courage, her passion, the glow in her eyes..
The door opened, and a moment later Sybil Crawley walked into the room.
Tom immediately noticed that she certainly didn't look happy. "How was it?" he inquired as she sat down on the sofa next to his chair.
"I didn't get it.." Sybil sighed.
Tom immediately got up from the chair and took a seat on the couch beside her. "It's their loss, darling."
Sybil's beautiful eyes lit up. "Don't think that I feel resigned. I'm not giving up. I'll show them what determination really means."
Tom just had to smile at his beloved's strength of spirit. "Why didn't they offer you a job, exactly?"
Sybil's eyes suddenly became tense. "Actually, they didn't question my qualifications or work experience. I think that they were put off by my accent… they thought that perhaps I'm some pampered English girl who does not know anything about Ireland and its struggles. Maybe I'm not the most knowledgeable person on earth when it comes to this issue, but I want to learn..."
Tom responded simply by taking her into his arms. "I know how it is, my darling… I've met with similar treatment in England. Some people became prejudiced against me the very moment I opened my mouth."
"But we're stronger than that, aren't we? We won't give up. We will make them accept us. Because while they cannot defeat us, we don't want to just retreat into the corner or some hiding place. We want to be accepted, even though their opinions and judgment cannot hurt us." Sybil stated boldly as she relaxed into her fiancé's embrace.
Tom began nuzzling her hair in approval. Sybil giggled and put her arms around his neck. Tom instantly knew what to do; he leant and captured her lips with his own.
They still couldn't get enough of kissing each other. It was such an immense joy for them to be finally able to express their affection for each other in this way. Hence, they treasured every kiss and poured all of the love that they had for each other into them.
It was the most wonderful sensation. It was pure bliss. It was perfect unity, not only of lips, but also of spirit. It was…
"What are you doing here?" Mrs. Branson's voice took the young lovers by surprise. They didn't notice that she had entered the room.
Sybil and Tom had no other choice but to break apart. The world outside had decided to be an obstacle to their love once more.
In Tom's mind, Sybil needed one more thing to become a true Dubliner. So, one Saturday evening he took her to a true Irish pub. Firstly, she drank a true Irish beer (a drink that was definitely not often served at Downton Abbey), and then they decided to have a go at a true Irish dance. It was their first public dance (earlier they had only made some attempts at twirls and turns in the Downton garage), and in Sybil's mind it was perfect just because she was tired of rigid dance rules. Here she knew that she was making mistake after mistake, but it made her feel free at the same time because she was aware that no one was judging her for those errors. It was having fun that counted, not adherence to the principles of dance etiquette.
Finally, the young pair went outside the pub to catch some breath.
"So now you've been properly christened as a Dubliner," Tom remarked teasingly.
"I suppose so. Oh Tom, how beautiful is the night sky over Dublin!" Sybil exclaimed, pointing at the starry firnament.
"Do you see these stars as familiar?"
Sybil chuckled, "Aren't you overdoing things now?"
"No, I'm deadly serious. I want to familiarise you with them. We need to go stargazing one evening. "
Suddenly, they both became silent for a few minutes.
It was Sybil who woke up first from their shared reverie. She reached for her beloved's hand and whispered quietly, "I don't need any 'christenings' or familiarizing myself with stars because 'Where Thou art—that—is Home'"
He did recognize the poem.
Next Time: Settling Down 1920
A/N And please - leave a review ;)