Six: Retreat

Author's Note: I'm so thrilled that people actually like this story! Mega thanks to pia z, ShadowDragon109, Momo01, 1010'jin, and Vld for reading and reviewing!And uberthanks to everyone who added this story to their favourite's list. What a confidence boost!

If Sakura had been thinking clearly, she might have found the cosmic parallels amusing.

But then again, had she been thinking clearly when she left Ino's, she probably would have come up with someplace to go, rather than wandering through the dark village as if she were waiting to come across something that would give her a reason to be. She had been sitting on the stone bench near the town gate staring at some empty point in space between herself and the ground, fingers clenched tightly into fists. She was trying hard not to cry – Ino had never liked her when she cried, had looked down on her when she did – but still, the tears fell freely, pattering softly onto her knees, soaking through the borrowed clothes.

She felt sick. She was shivering, though her head throbbed with a burning headache, the heat palpable at the back of her eyes. She was nauseous, aware of the fact that she hadn't had anything substantial to eat for at least a few days now, wracked by an emptiness that drained the strength from her limbs and sent dull, distant pains lancing through her stomach. Her throat itched and ached, existing pain exacerbated by her harsh sobbing as she stumbled up and down the streets of Konoha. None of that was important, though. All she could think about was how colossally hollow her entire world had become.

She lay down on the bench, wrapping the black jacket as tightly around herself as she possibly could, feeling her ribs through the cloth as she did so. She didn't know why she kept this filthy jacket around. Perhaps as a reminder of why she was here, of what she had come looking for in Konoha. But all that had changed now. She had come to realize that she hadn't returned to the village because she wanted to go home, or because she wanted to see friends or family – she didn't want any of those things. She wanted Ino, the last person she had seen before she left two years ago and the only person she had sought out when she returned.

But she meant nothing to Ino, apparently. After all that emotional flip-flopping, Ino made her choice. She had asked – no, demanded, ordered, begged, pleaded – for Sakura to go away, to stay away from her. Forgiveness from Ino was too much to ask, Sakura should have known that from the beginning.

But it was all that Sakura had left to hope for.

Now she had nothing.

Sakura didn't know how long she lay there, on that cold stone bench, before she began falling asleep. She had stopped shivering, her mind blanking itself out mercifully, her body accepting the cold and the hunger and the pain. At first, when that soft voice called out behind her, she didn't even register that it had said her name. A hand touched her shoulder, gripped her gently, and rolled her over. Sakura half-opened her eyes.

It was Kotetsu, his face so familiar with that line of bandage crossing his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Over his shoulder she could faintly see Izumo, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression one of faint concern. Sakura blinked, found herself suddenly struck by a horrible sense of déjà vu. It had been Kotetsu and Izumo who had found her on this very bench so many years ago, when she had failed to stop Sasuke from leaving the village. It seemed like these two were always around when Sakura's love was brutally rejected.

"Hey," Kotetsu called out softly. "Wake up."

"If you sleep here, you'll catch a cold," Izumo piped up.

Sakura didn't say anything to them and simply rolled over again, putting her back to them and the rest of the street.

Kotetsu turned to glance back at Izumo and they spoke to each other quietly, though Sakura didn't care what either of them had to say so she didn't bother listening. She didn't even protest when Kotetsu leaned over, gathered her up in his arms, and carried her back towards the village.

To their credit, and much to Sakura's relief, neither Kotetsu nor Izumo tried to talk to her as they walked, though it might have had something to do with the fact that Sakura kept her eyes closed, deliberately slowed her breathing, and pretended to be asleep. She remained insolently ignorant of her surroundings until she heard a door open and felt the temperature around her change as Kotetsu stepped through it. She suddenly felt very sick again when she found herself surrounded by that ghastly familiar smell of the inside of a hospital.

This was the very last place she ever wanted to be again.

An iron fist clenched around her insides. She jolted in Kotetsu's arms, planting one cold hand against his shoulder and pushing herself away from him. He dropped her legs and set her down, but held tightly onto her arms when she tried to pull away. "What—?" he started.

Sakura cut him off sharply. "I don't need to be here," she rasped.

"Sakura," Izumo began, putting a hand on Sakura's shoulder to still her. "You're not well," he told her. As if she didn't already know.

"I'm fine," she snarled. She managed to twist out of Izumo's grasp and then pulled her left arm free. Kotetsu still had her by her right wrist. She took two steps and strained against his strength, trying to pull herself free. Stupid, she thought. Childish, but she just wanted to get out of the hospital, to get away from the medics that knew her, to get out of the harsh lights and that awful smell of pain and despair.

She wanted to get away so desperately but she couldn't, didn't have anywhere else to go, wasn't strong enough to stand on her own.

Sakura slipped, fell to her knees, one hand hitting the floor hard while the other remained twisted and held behind her back. Not wanting to hurt her, Kotetsu let go. Sakura didn't try to get up again. She hid her face when a helpless sob choked its way out of her throat. Someone came around in front of her, kneeled down and put their arms around her. She could tell just by looking at her knees that it was a nurse, and when she spoke to her Sakura heard a familiar voice.

"I don't want to be here." Sakura was sniffling and pitiful, still hiding her face.

"I know," said the nurse, but she didn't. "We just want to you get some rest and then you can leave." She was lying, but Sakura didn't bother calling her on it. She stood when hands lifted her up from under her arms, allowing herself to be led to a room. When she looked up again, Kotetsu and Izumo were long gone, and the nurse was sitting her on the edge of a bed and trying to examine her. Sakura remained deliberately uncooperative to the point where the poor woman simply gave up, opting instead to rest two fingertips against Sakura's forehead and performing a sedating jutsu, one that Sakura herself knew well.

Feeling sluggish and defeated, Sakura gave up, allowing the woman to put her to sleep and thinking only of how much she despised hospitals.