#C2
"Molly, will you help your sister with her arithmetic? I need to finish some work." says my Mum.
It's been a day since I got back from Hogwarts for Christmas holidays and I already have to work. Still, I'm not cribbing. Better keep myself busy, I think. Anyway, I feel sorry for Mum, having Ministry world during the hols. I mean, Dad, I can understand. He's overambitious. But Mum? She's overworking herself.
Lucy starts at Hogwarts next year so she's still in Muggle School right now. I go upstairs to help my 10-year old sister with her Math.
"What do you need me to help you with?" I ask her.
"Everything." she replies.
Lucy's the opposite of me. Where I'm studious and bookish, she's all about Quidditch. Where I'm neat and tidy, she feeds the tablemat more than she feeds herself. Where I'm mature and quiet, she's wild and loud.
Where I'm an introvert, she's an extrovert. A bit annoying sometimes, but she's my baby sister and I love her very much. But that doesn't hide the fact that she's a terribly frustrating and easily distracted student.
After over an hour of trying to teach her, I give up.
"Oh, Luce, just go play Quidditch or something." I say and she squeals happily and runs out of the room. I look around her room, which was previously mine. The lavender walls are still the same shade they were but Mum's replaced the pretty lace drapes with heavy blue ones.
I get up and sit on my old bed and it creaks. I smile, because it's creaked like that since I was seven. Ever since Riven once jumped too hard on it.
And I go down memory lane almost involuntarily.
"I'm not playing with dolls, Molly!"
"Oh, please, Riven! It's fun! Honest!"
"No way. Let's go play Quidditch!"
"I don't like Quidditch, you know that."
"Who cares? I'm older so I'll decide."
"Older by seven months."
"So what? We're playing Quidditch!"
"No!"
"If you don't play with me, I'll break your bed!"
And then, on a whim, he did just that. Don't ask why he wanted to break my bed. The guy's crazy.
I laugh to myself, even though I'm supposed to hate him. I remember Mum and Dad's worried expressions when they came rushing upstairs at the sound of the bed breaking. Dad never did like Riven.
"Molly, help me with the lunch, please!" my mother calls from the kitchen, waking me from my thoughts.
"Coming, Mum." I answer, getting off Lucy's bed as it creaks again and I smile once more before exiting her room.
I'm suddenly awoken from a rather deep sleep with a terribly loud, "Merry Christmas, Molly!"
"Luce! Go away." I reply, burying my head into my pillow, trying to snatch back the sleep but my sister grabs at my arm, forcing me to get up.
"Mol! It's Christmas!" she says, her eyes twinkling with excitement.
"Yes, Luce, I know. It comes every year you know."
I'm not big on Christmas. I mean, I like it, sure, but I wouldn't die if there were no Christmas. Unlike Lucy.
"Let's go open our presents! Mum says we should open them together and I want to open them now!"
"Fine, let's go then." I say in a resigned sigh, getting off my bed and make my way downstairs with Lucy at my heels.
"Merry Christmas, Molly." Mum wishes me, sitting at out dinning table for six, her coffee mug in her hand.
"Merry Christmas, love." Dad wishes me, looking up from his newspaper wearing a very odd, cylindrical hat with red and green tinsels, no doubt, made by Lucy.
"Merry Christmas, Mum, Dad." I say, smiling at my parents. I rather like quiet Christmas mornings like these.
"Go open your presents then," Mum says, pointing at the bottom of our heavily decorated Christmas tree, again, done by Lucy.
"Lucy, nice decorations, but I can hardly see the tree." I laugh as my sister scowls.
"I worked very hard on that! And Mum and Dad agree that it's very pretty!" she says and my parents join in with the laughter. Lucy really is our darling baby.
"I know what this is," I smile as I pick up a lumpy package wrapped in shiny green paper. I undo the wrappings to reveal Grandma Molly's usual mauve, hand-knit sweater with a golden 'M' emblazoned on it.
"Mine's green again!" Lucy whines, opening Grandma Molly's package.
"But green goes so well with your hair, Lucy." says Mum, and I agree with her. Unlike me, Lucy has inherited the traditional red hair that's always kept short, a lot like Dominique's. Even though I wouldn't like the red hair for myself, it looks nice on Lucy. How do I put this? It sort of… enhances her wild nature.
The rest of my Christmas presents are what they are every year.
Let's make a list of them:
Uncle Bill and family: Hair curlers and a make up kit. (This has Aunt Fleur written all over it.)
Uncle Charlie: A book on how to train Dragons. (Okay, what? Uncle Charlie doesn't really know what gifts to buy but I still love him.)
Uncle Fred and family: A box of the latest Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. (I usually give my share to Lucy because she loves them.)
Uncle Ron and family: A book called Pride and Prejudice. (Aunt Hermione knows how much I love Muggle novels.)
Aunt Ginny and family: A scarf and a pair of matching mittens along with a lifetime supply of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and Chocolate Frogs. (Now you know why I always have a Chocolate Frog in my bag.)
Grandma Sophie (Mum's mum): A new quilt. (Blissfully warm.)
Uncle Terry and family (Mum's brother): A huge range of Honeydukes sweets. (They're going to feed me up and eat me like the witch planned to eat Hansel and Gretl.)
Teddy: A set of peacock quills, vanishing ink and a diary. (Ted always gives really useful gifts)
Also, there are a lot of greeting cards sent from my friends at Hogwarts. As I look through them, one catches my attention. As I flip the golden envelope over, I see the initials RA inscribed at the bottom.
"I'll be in my room." I say and excuse myself, taking the envelope with me. The minute I reach my room, I open the envelope and pull out a letter that's got his neat handwriting all over it. There's only one question on my mind right now: Why has he sent me a letter? This is the first letter I've received from him, ever. I don't know if I want to read it.
It's just a letter. Read it, says a voice inside my head. So I read.
Dear Molly, (The 'Dear' sounds weird.)
Merry Christmas. I hope you didn't freak out, getting this, though I'm quite sure you might have. How are the holidays going?
So, I'm finally writing to you like I promised when I was twelve. Sorry it took so long. Better late than never, I hope? Mol, I'd really like for us to be friends again, honest. I know I've been a jerk to you and I'm sorry about that. Can we start over?
Waiting for your reply. (Don't tear this letter)
Riven Adams.
For a few minutes, I just stand silently, the letter in my hands as my eyes look at the words without reading them. I don't know what to think. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I don't know what I want to do.
I read the letter again. And again and again and again. And again. Finally, the reality of what I'm reading hits me and I'm not going to lie: It's making me amazingly happy. Yes, happy. Something that I haven't been in so long.
Of course I want to start over. Of course I want for us to be friends again. And by the looks of this letter, he wants that too.
Quickly, I grab a quill and parchment and unscrew the cap of my ink bottle. Dipping my quill in the ink, I almost begin to write when a red flag goes up in my head.
Hold your hormonal horses, Molly.
This is Riven we're talking about. He can't be trusted. What if this is his idea of a prank? But something inside tells me that, it's okay. It's okay to take this chance. It's okay to step out of the confines of my pacific-sized ego and give him a chance. It's okay to listen to my heart over my head for once.
So I begin to scribble on the fresh piece of parchment.
I'm not going to bother with a 'Dear Riven' because it's way too awkward.
Merry Christmas.
I accept your apology. I'll think about what you said.
Molly Weasley.
Yes. That is what I write on the parchment. And I'm okay with it because as much as I want to say 'I miss you and I'd love to be friends again', I'm not doing that. I'm not naïve and stupid anymore. And I'm not going to let anyone hurt me anymore. So it's better to be cautious, no?
I fold the letter and give it to Knut (yes, that's my owl's name, because I couldn't come up with anything better at age eleven.)
"You remember Riven, right?" I ask him, as he clamps the folded piece of parchment in his beak. "Give this to him."
Knut understands what I say. All the time. So he doesn't need telling twice as he flies out of my window, leaving me alone in my room, looking at the dark sky. It's an overcast day and I'm hoping it will rain. I know what everyone is thinking. She wants it to rain on Christmas?
Well, I love the rain. Even if it does have to rain on Christmas. I love how the rain just washes everything away and makes everything so lush and bright. I love the way the earth smells after it's rained. I can't begin to explain how beautiful it feels. Like, if someone put me in front of a cauldron filled with Amortentia, the first thing I would smell would be wet earth. And then maybe smell new books.
Then I remember that I have to get ready for dinner. Christmas dinner is always at Grandma Molly's house and everyone helps out. It's one of the few occasions where the entire family get together to celebrate and I have to agree that it is rather fun. But I'm just not in the mood today. Maybe it's because of Riven's letter. I don't know. I just feel so confused and I don't want to feel confused. I don't even know what I'm feeling confused about. Does anyone else ever get this feeling where… I don't know… you just feel so- so empty inside? For no real reason, may I mention.
I feel it all the time. And I'm sick of feeling this because I don't know what I'm feeling! Argh! This is maddening. I just wish I knew what it was that was getting me so upset. Screw this.
I grudgingly get up and head to my wardrobe, opening it. Without much thought, I pick out the first dress that I see. It's an old one, but I like it a lot. Uncle Terry bought this for me on my fifteenth birthday. It's dark blue and long-sleeved with pretty lace ruffles around the neck and wrists and it falls just above my knees. This along with stockings and my favorite Mary Janes. Perfect.
"You look nice," says Victoire two hours later at the Burrow.
"Look who's talking," I grin, looking up at my cousin who is so much prettier than me and who has the best dress-sense I've ever seen. Victoire's working as an intern at St. Mungo's since she wants to become a Healer.
"Oh well," she smiles, sitting down beside me at the long table that uncle Fred has set out for us to eat dinner. Everyone's still inside, doing who -knows -what. I'm not a very social person, unless I need to be, so I'm here. Away from the crowded house.
"How's your Christmas going?" Victoire asks and I sigh.
"I got a letter from Riven today." I tell her and her eyes widen. Victoire's the only one I've ever told about my crush on him. She's the only one I ever share anything with, for no other reason other than the fact that she's the closest to my age. And also, she's easy to talk to. She doesn't judge me.
"And?" she asks, her blue eyes twinkling. I look at her for a second, before rummaging in my handbag and retrieving the letter. She takes it from me and reads.
"This is amazing!" she exclaims but I shake my head.
"No it isn't. What if it's a trick?" I say, looking away
"What makes you say that?" Victoire asks, her voice a whisper.
"I don't know. I… I want to believe him. I want to believe that this is the truth. That he's changed. But, I- I just feel like… what if this is… is…"
"Is what?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, tell me. I'm not gonna laugh at you if that's what you're worried about."
"What if I'm just getting my hopes up? What if it never works out?"
"You won't know till you try." says Victoire and she puts an arm around my shoulder. "Have you replied to him?"
"Yeah." I nod as tell her the exact words that I replied with and she laughs.
"God, Mol, that is just like you." she grins and I can't help but smile as well.
"I miss having you at Hogwarts, you know?" I admit but before Victoire can reply, a voice calls us.
"Vic, Mol, get in here and give us a hand!" calls aunt Ginny from inside.
"Coming!" we call back and grudgingly get up and head into the kitchen. As we're walking, I feel more relaxed and tell myself how lucky I am to have Victoire to talk to.
I wouldn't have been able to go past fourth year if it hadn't been for her constantly trying to rebuild my broken confidence every time I cried.
"Thanks for everything, Vic." I say as we walk inside.
"Oh, shut up, Mol." she smiles.
"Have you taken everything?" Mum asks me as she tucks away a tendril of hair behind my ear. Everyone's currently saying their goodbyes at platform Nine and three quarters after Christmas vacation.
"Yes Mum," I say, hugging her as Lucy comes running up to us.
"You be a good girl now." I say to my sister, breaking free of my mother's arms. "Don't give Mum any trouble."
"I never do." she replies, grinning up at me as she hugs my waist, since that's the highest she can reach and I hug her back.
"Well, go on now," says Mum as the clock's hands say that it's a minute before the train leaves the platform. I quickly give Lucy a kiss on her cheek and then climb onto the train. My younger cousins have already found a compartment for themselves but I want to be alone so I look for an empty compartment and find one almost immediately. I settle down quickly and take out my new book, Pride and Prejudice and begin to read. The train starts to move. Four pages into my book, the compartment door slides open to reveal the one person that I'm hoping to avoid.
"Can I sit here?" Riven asks, pointing to the seat opposite me.
"I was hoping to be left alone." I reply, momentarily looking up from my book before looking back at it.
"Please?" he asks and I can hear the effort it's taking him.
"Fine." I reply after a couple of seconds of consideration and he sits opposite me. We don't say anything to each other for what seems like the next fifteen minutes and I find the silence to be highly uncomfortable.
"What are you reading?" he asks, looking at the cover of my book. I know its all just small talk and he's not getting to the point, but I play along.
"Pride and Prejudice." I reply and he looks confused.
"It's a muggle novel." I explain.
"What's it about?" he asks.
"I don't know. I'm only four pages in." I say, not looking up from my book. Silence again.
"So, have you thought about it yet?" he asks.
"About what?" I say, faking a slightly confused look.
"Mol, please don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you at all. You know what I'm talking about." he says, and for the first time, his eyes don't have that nonchalant look in them.
"What do you want to be friends for? Give me one believable reason, Riven. One."
"Because I miss the way we used to be, Molly! Okay? I know I'm the one who ruined it, but I want to make amends. Why can't you see that?" Riven says, now standing up, his hands in his hair.
I just stare at him, not realizing that my eyes are filling up with tears. When I do realize, however, it's too late and they start to fall down my cheeks. I don't want this. I don't want him to see me cry. Not him. I don't want him to see how weak I am. I don't want him to see how much he means to me. I don't want him to see how vulnerable I am. I don't want him to think that I'm easy to break. I don't want him to see that I'm scared and insecure. I don't want him to see that I need him so much more than I've ever needed anyone.
All those weeks of feeling only emptiness and confusion are coming out in silent tears that I unsuccessfully try to wipe away.
"Why the fuck are you crying?" he asks, flabbergasted, as he quickly rummages in his pockets for a handkerchief, but doesn't find one.
"Okay, look, I won't bother you again, just stop crying." he says, sitting down next to me.
"It's not that." I sniff, wiping my face quickly, getting a grip on myself.
"Then what?" he asks, looking at me.
"What if you're lying? I don't want to get my hopes up and then have you ruin everything again." I confess, feeling really stupid.
"Look at me." he says, holding me at arm's length and I wince slightly. "I promise, I'm not lying, okay? So give me a chance."
We look at each other for a couple of seconds before realizing that it's kind of awkward, so I look away. But not him. He still looks at me waiting for my answer.
"Fine. You get one chance." I say, still not looking at him but I see him smile out of the corner of my eye.
"Finally." he says as he gets up to go sit opposite me again.
I think we both feel a sense of relief now, more than anything. Scared as I am, I'm kind of glad I've given him a chance. I'm glad I've given myself this chance. The only thing I can do now is hope. Hope that we can become something close to friends, given that we're in a rather awkward phase right now.
"It'll be alright." I tell myself so that he can't hear, and get back to reading my book.
Thank you for reading! :D Tell me what you guys think? Reviews are always appreciated! :)