C#7
"You're in here awfully early, my dear." says Madam Pince, looking at me through her cat –eye glasses while rearranging some books on a shelf.
'Awfully early' is putting it mildly. It's probably not even seven thirty. But I woke up early and found that I had nothing to do. I don't like it when I have nothing to do. So I figured I'd return the library books that were in my possession.
"Yes, ma'am." I reply, placing three books on her desktop as she makes her way to me. She checks if the books are in order- which they always are- and then opens the book register, while a quill writes in it today's date and the names of the books that I've returned.
Madam Pince looks over at the date and shakes her head in distaste.
"Nasty day, today."
I nod, agreeing. It's the fourteenth of February. Valentine's day.
Ew.
Of all the days one could have celebrated, they decided to celebrate a day of unneccsessary money expenditure and unrequited libido-related feelings that can never be permanent.
I bid goodbye to Madam Pince and head downstairs. I wait a second before entering the Great Hall, inhaling the cold air slowly in order to prepare myself for the sickly decorations I'm about to see. Then, I walk down the last few stairs and turn right into the Great Hall.
Pink and red. That's all I see. Huge red heart-shaped balloons, pink and white confetti falling from the ceiling, twirls of pink and red ribbons hanging from the windows and obviously, Valentine Cherubs. The food isn't on the tables yet but I'm sure a lot of that is going to be sweet and pink too. Yuck, yuck, and oh- yuck.
"God, that's disturbing." I hear a familiar voice say and turn to look around.
"I know right?" I grin at Callum. "Why are you here so early?"
"I could ask you the same."
"I just woke up early. Now you."
"Ah, well, I wanted to avoid the mushy stuff." Callum replies, scratching his neck.
"There isn't any food as yet though." I sigh, realizing that I'm hungry since I skipped dinner the previous night.
"We can just go to the kitchens, y'know." he says, turning towards the passage that leads to the kitchens.
"No way. That's wrong." I say, righteously. There's no way in hell that I'm going down there and telling those poor little house elves to feed me when they clearly have enough to do already.
"Wrong?" Callum laughs. Then, pausing a second, he says, "Wait. Don't tell me- You've never been to the kitchens before?"
I shake my head.
"We're going there now." he declares, quickly grabbing my hand and drags me along with him to the kitchens.
Once we enter, it's like this whole new world of food and house elves. Short little things with white aprons and woolly hats and socks. I wonder why the hats and socks are needed since it's quite warm down here with all the ovens on and working. They look up at the two of us.
"Master Callum!" a few of them squeak.
"Hullo Polly, Stumpy. This is Molly Weasley." he smiles, introducing me. I hesitantly smile at them.
"Miss Weasley! Such an honour!" says Polly. Hundreds of little wrinkly faces turn towards us at the mention of my surname.
"Family of Miss Hermione! Welcome, Miss!" says another house elf, pushing a stool forwards for me to sit on.
"How may we help young Master and Miss?" says Stumpy, bowing so that his huge ears sweep the floor.
I glare at Callum. I absolutely hate being treated like this. I hate being given preferential treatment when I've done nothing to earn it. All because I'm a Weasley.
"Erm, could we get something to eat?" Callum asks, slightly embarrassed.
"Of course sir! Stumpy will serve you himself sir." says the elf and disappears into the crowd of woolly hats that are still looking at us in awe.
"Don't ever do this again." I whisper to Callum. He looks at me and I know he senses my discomfort. Rather than arguing with me, he just sighs and agrees to my request.
In a matter of minutes we're surrounded by trays carrying, hot, freshly baked bread, porridge, sausages, bacon and eggs and a variety of cold cuts. The hose elves leave us alone while we eat. How thoughtful.
"So, expecting any gifts today?" Callum smirks.
I finish swallowing the food in my mouth and nod. "James and Fred will send me a package with someone else's name on it. And it'll be a prank
Callum laughs. "Do you get them every year?" he asks. I nod again.
"It started when I was in fourth year. They sent me a dungbomb. Only, I knew that it was from them since I had never heard of the name of the guy on the label of the package and, well, I've known them since they were born, so…"
"Apart from them? Any other admirers?"
I stop eating and think a little. "There was this boy in third year, now that you mention it. Jonathan something… Covett I think. He's in your year right?" I ask and Callum replies in agreement.
"Ravenclaw." he adds.
"Yeah, so he asked me if I'd go out with him and everyone who was in the courtyard heard him and laughed at him. I was so embarrassed but I felt really bad for him."
"What did you do then?" asks Callum, sounding like he's holding back laughter.
"Nothing. I told him that I couldn't. Not as yet. My father would never allow it. And I thanked him for telling me. He was quite alright about it."
"Wow. Pretty mature for a thirteen year old." he says and I smile. Once we've eaten breakfast and left the kitchen (After all the house elves tell us to come back again and we thank them of course) we walk back up to the dorm.
I sit near the fire since it's still quite cold and Callum occupies an armchair.
"There you are. I've been looking for you since fifteen minutes." says Avril, coming out of nowhere. Then, she notices Callum and her eyes go wide. Merlin, I was right. She does like him.
"Hi Avril." he greets, giving her a toothy grin.
"Hi." Avril replies meekly.
"What did you want me for?" I ask my cousin.
"Oh- that, yes- can I have the book on magical law? I went to get it yesterday but madam Pince said that you had it. Can I borrow it for sometime? That is, if you're not using it of course." Avril replies quickly.
"Yeah, sure. I think it's in my dorm-" I say, remembering that there are still a few library books in my possession. "You wait here, I'll go get it."
I walk upstairs slowly, take a good amount of time to look for the book and then come back down even slower, hoping that Avril has utilized this time to talk to Callum.
When I reach the common room however, I catch sight of some other girls hovering over him, talking to him animatedly while Avril is standing alone in a corner. I walk up to her and give her the book. She thanks me while glancing in his direction.
"You know, if you like him, you should talk to him." I whisper to her, smiling. She looks up at me, petrified as to how I know her secret.
"You're pretty obvious." I answer before she has the chance to ask. "He's quite popular with the girls, so if you want him to notice you, don't be shy."
"I know." she mumbles, looking away. "But he'll never notice me. He only knows I exist because I'm your cousin."
"That is not true!" I whisper urgently. "You're amazing. Just believe in yourself Av."
She's still not convinced but she nods and leaves. Suddenly, the voices of the girls in the room get magnified. I turn around.
Ah, yes. Riven has entered the common room. He catches my eye and winks at me. Elinor, who is near him, notices this and latches onto his arm and says something to him with a stupid giggle. I look away, annoyed. She's been doing this increasingly often, hanging around him and sticking to him and it's nauseating. At first, it didn't bother me but I've realized that she does it specifically to annoy me. And it's working. Especially because Riven doesn't seem averse to her at all.
I decide to go upstairs once again, packing my bag for the day and when I come back down, the common room is even more crowded. I push my way through the crowd and head for Transfiguration.
I'm the first one to reach the classroom but students start filing in soon after my arrival. Riven walks in last with Elinor clinging onto his arm. He sits a few seats away from me- with Elinor. Why? He knows she was a bitch to me. Why would he sit with her? I promise myself to not make any eye contact with him for as long as is possible.
Professor Switch enters and begins with her lesson but I'm so annoyed that I don't even concentrate. I just keep thinking about how much I hate Valentine's day and how much of a bitch Elinor is.
By lunchtime, I'm really hungry since I had an early breakfast. But I don't want to be around people at the moment, so I eliminate the thought of going to the great hall altogether and go to the clock tower instead.
Passing the clockwork and gears, I reach the balcony that overlooks the courtyard. Stupid Elinor. I hate her. Stupid Riven. I hate him too. I hate everyone right now. I sigh, leaning over the ledge of the balcony.
"You're going to fall, y'know." says a voice while a hand yanks me back by my hood.
"Woah- watch it!" I shout, turning to face none other than the sod Riven. He raises is hands in defense. I scowl at him for a second then go back to leaning on the ledge.
"What's got your wand in a knot?" he asks, also leaning on the ledge.
I don't answer.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." he says, quietly.
"I don't want your help." I reply.
"Whose help do you want then? Callum's?" he says and I definitely hear sarcasm in his voice.
"What-? What does he have to do with anything?" I demand, getting angrier by the minute.
"Having a nice Valentine's morning with him weren't you?"
"What? How do you…" I trail off. "If you're so interested about that then I may as well ask you about that sorry excuse for a girl that clung to you this entire morning."
"Wha-? What are you talking about?" he says and I can tell he's honestly confused.
"Oh forget it. I don't want us to fight." I say, though I'm still boiling. Riven looks at me for a few moments and then covers the distance between us in three steps. But what he does next completely throws me.
He puts his arms around me and pulls me into a hug, his chin resting on my head.
"What's wrong?" he says quietly. I don't answer immediately since I'm too busy taking in the smell of his cologne that reminds me of the amortentia all over again.
"Nothing is." I reply, when I've had my fill. "Please let me go."
"No. Tell me. Please." he says, still holding me. Honestly, I thought this kind of cheesy stuff happened only in books.
"It has nothing to do with you."
"Tell me anyway."
"I'm not going to." My voice shakes slightly as I push him away.
"I really wish you wouldn't do this. We're friends." he says, a defeated tone in his voice.
"Are we?" I laugh.
"What do you mean?" he says, the same confused look crossing his face again.
"I mean that if you're so sensitive to my problems then how is it that you don't see the biggest one?"
"Mol, just tell me. I swear, I don't understand." The funny thing is that I think he's being truthful. He doesn't know. But I can't tell him either.
"Then it doesn't matter." I smile my fake smile and turn around, leaving the tower.
The remaining part of the day goes by as every other Wednesday does; only, this one's more pink. I avoid Riven for the remainder of my classes. By evening, I decide to skip dinner as well. Not a good decision since I'm drastically loosing weight, but whatever.
Luckily enough, we don't have prefect duty today so while everyone's in the Great Hall, I take a walk in the moonlit Transfiguration courtyard. It's chilly, but that's okay. I walk for some more time, then sit down on a stone bench.
I go over the events of the day. I was being very dramatic. And stupid. Of course Riven doesn't know what goes on in my head. Unless he's a legilimens. Which he isn't. It wasn't fair for me to be so pathetic. He was nice enough to hug me.
My heart skips a beat at the thought. No way. No no no no. You can not think about him like that. Absolutely not. But it was so warm and comfortable and I don't ever want to forget what it felt like.
"What are you thinking, skipping lunch and dinner together in one day?"
My hear skips another beat at the sound of his voice. He sits down beside me. Everything is quiet except for the sound of crickets chirping.
"I'm sorry." I mutter after a while.
"For what?" asks Riven.
"For being a melodramatic pain in the arse." I admit and I expect him to say something like 'Yeah, you are' but he doesn't.
"You're never a pain in the arse, Mol. I just wish you'd tell me what gets you upset all the time. I'm not your friend just for the label, I wish you'd realize that. I don't know what it is- are you still scared of opening up or something?"
"No, I'm not-"
"Then what is it? You push away anyone who could possible care about you. Why is that?"
I look at him, lost for words. Everything he's saying is true. I do push him away. I am scared of opening up.
"Because if I open up, no one will like the real me." I whisper, desperately trying to get the words out.
"So the real you is the one that gets angry easily and cries a lot?"
"The real me is the one that judges people. I'm a pessimist. I hate almost everyone. I… I'm a bitch. And I'm fake and a coward who can't tell people what I actually think because I want people to like me! I don't want controversy in my life! I can't tolerate people hating me…" I cry, finally letting everything out. It feels better. The load has suddenly lessened.
There's absolute silence for a few minutes in which I realize the truth of the words I just said. I'm disgusting. I know I am.
"I like the real you. Definitely more believable. And I wouldn't call you a bitch at all." Riven says with a slight smile. "There's nothing wrong in wanting to be accepted."
I don't even realize when my eyes fill with tears, which quickly fall down my cheeks. Riven puts an arm around me, sighing loudly.
"Don't cry." he says and I immediately wipe me face. "While I say there's nothing wrong in wanting to be accepted, wouldn't you rather people accept the real you? Don't try to keep pleasing everyone if it means hurting yourself in the process, okay?"
"Can I lean on you for a bit?" I ask, my voice thick.
"Well, duh." Riven laughs and I rest my head on him.
"We forget that I ever did this, okay?" speaks the pride in me.
"Yes, we forget that you also have moments of weakness." he says and I hear the smile in his voice.
Today, I realize that Riven isn't just a pretty face. There's so much more to him. There's… depth. Today, I'm really glad that we decided to make amends because I've found a gem of a friend in him. And suddenly I don't care about Elinor anymore. She will never see this side of him and this I know for sure. The thought makes me a little happy.
"Oh, almost forgot." he says, letting go of me while searching his cloak for something. "This" he says, taking out a small bunch of pink peonies and giving them to me.
"What are these for?" I ask, slightly confused.
"Uhm, Valentine's day I guess? I don't know," he says, scratching his neck, "I just got them. I remember you liking them a lot."
One word: Touched. We much have been kids when I mentioned it. Yes, I have always loved peonies because I think roses are ugly and overrated. And he remembered.
"Thank you." is all I manage to get out of my dry mouth and he smiles at me. Not that stupid dazzling white smile he gives everyone. No, this one's genuine.
"Dinnertime." he says, getting up and holding out a hand for me, which I take and get up too.
That night, after dinner, I set the peonies in a vase beside my bed and then get under the warm layers of sheets and quilts. My mind goes back to our conversation and I decide that there will be no more hiding. I'm going to be exactly who I am and I won't be afraid. Of anything or anyone. With this resolve, I close my eyes and for what seems like the first time in months, I go to sleep with a smile.
A/N: PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR SUCH A LATE UPDATE I WILL NEVER DO THIS TO YOU ALL AGAIN. Other than that- ENjoy! :) And PLEASE REVIEW. ^^
Love, Shivaani.