Don't Look Back – Chapter 13
Words and Memories
((Chihiro's POV))
I awoke the next morning to an empty bed, Haku long gone. Yesterday came back to me in a rush. He confessed how he felt toward me, and I had just sat there, completely in shock and happiness. Except, he didn't know that. And then I busted on his someone peaceful evening, asking to stay with him! What kind of spirit am I? Who would do such a thing?
I vaulted out of bed and dashed back to my rooms. I dressed quickly in a strapless white dress with intricate black detail along them hem and bodice. I searched the entire house, but he was nowhere to be found. Then I ran outside, bare feet thudding against the hard ground. I slowed to a jog once I reached the banks of his river. This was the absolute last place that he could be…
I slipped into the river, but did not feel calm. I brushed the thought away, and focused on finding him with my mind in this watery expanse. I found him, and spoke to him mentally, hoping that he didn't shut me out.
"Haku, I know you may not want anything to do with me at the moment, but I need to tell you something. I… I'm sorry for yesterday. I know that you took my silence the wrong way, but you're assumptions couldn't be farther from the truth if you tried. This isn't something to make you feel better, these words are as truthful as they can ever be."
Then I showed him that my words were true, and let the memories of my childhood take over…
((Haku's POV))
I heard her words. They gave me hope, but she can't just expect me to bounce back like nothing had happened. I mean, I wanted to believe them, but an inkling of doubt spread throughout my body, causing me to doubt her words even though I knew they came from the heart. She said she was going to show me, so I let her memories take over.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
First I was in some kind of… thing that was moving. Then I realized that I had stopped moving, and watched a ten-year-old Chihiro climb out of… whatever we were in. I realized that this must be the human world, and I was probably in what humans called a car. Yes, that sounds about right…
She ran to catch up to her parents who were now walking thorough a tunnel. To where it led I didn't know. I looked up at a tall, huge red building.
"It's the entrance to the spirit world…" I breathed. Getting out of the car, I followed them at a slow jog.
Then, the memory faded.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This time I found myself looking through Chihiro's eyes.
I was looking down at the passing train, but the vision quickly changed. To my surprise, I found myself looking back into a pair of emerald eyes. My eyes. I was looking at my twelve-year-old self!
The boy's eyes flashed with a small amount of fear. "You shouldn't be here." I said coolly. I mentally gave a start. Did I really sound so… cold all the time? My thoughts ended as the memory continued.
"What?" Chihiro said softly, climbing down off the railing.
"It's almost night. Leave, before it gets dark." The twelve-year-old me ordered firmly. The boy looked over his shoulder back at the bathhouse. "They're lighting the lamps." He breathed, turning back to Chihiro. He pushed her away from the bathhouse, sending her back on her way. "Get out of here! You've got to get across the river! Go, I'll distract them!"
With that, the ten-year-old girl took off running, and the memory faded.
'Well, that was just a wonderful first impression, wasn't it?' I thought sarcastically to myself as the memory faded to black.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Now I found myself a bystander again. I watched myself try to get her to eat a berry once I found her hiding behind a building. I almost smiled at the memory. She's quite stubborn to this very day. I listened in onto the conversation…
"-and swallow. There you go; you're all better." I said kindly, an arm around her shoulders. I held up a hand, "See for yourself," I said softly, my eyes warm and inviting.
She hesitantly touched it, and delight made her face shine when she realized she was no longer disappearing.
I allowed myself to smile this time. I remembered her small hand against mine. So small and soft… this was one of my more precious memories, even if I seemed to have spilt personalities at this point in my life.
My vision faded to black, and I allowed the next memory to wash over me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yet again a bystander, I watched the scene without the words. I saw the both of us in the garden, just after I had shown her the pigpens where her parents were being held. I wrapped an arm around a shoulder, and encouraged her to eat the rice cakes I had brought. Then I followed our younger forms as they walked back to the bathhouse. I saw Chihiro run across, then spot my dragon form in the sky. Her eyes lit up with a childish innocence, a beauty that cannot be replaced. I smiled; she was beautiful even then.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This memory was through Chihrio's eyes. I found myself looking in upon a sleeping room, and a wounded and bleeding dragon… me.
"Haku… you're bleeding!" She whispered, standing in the doorway. She wasn't scared like I thought she was, her face shone with determination, though I saw the fear flicker in her chocolate brown eyes. "Hold still, those paper things are gone know. You're going to be all right."
Apparently I wasn't listening, and thinking back, I wasn't. I flew back out with way I came, almost knocking Chihiro over. She ran over to the window that I flew out of, regardless of the blood that was now on her hands. "He flew in that top window!" she exclaimed, "And I've got to get there before he bleeds to death!"
I watched the halls fly past me as she ran, the colors surrounding me fading to that somber shade of black. I'm getting sick of this color…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The memory was once again through Chihiro's eyes, and I saw myself starring out at a thin pipe, barely attached to the side of the bathhouse, and suspended about three hundred feet from the water.
'Oh no… you've got to be kidding me… she did NOT do this!' I thought to myself. To my despair, she tied up her sleeves, and tightened the drawstrings of her pants. She braced herself, and then ran across the pipe, never falling once.
The memory faded, and I was shaking. There was no way she did that to get to me… I think it's safe to say that she's not the little girl that I first met at the bathhouse anymore.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
To my relief, I was a bystander for this memory. After the last one that I saw through her eyes, I wasn't really looking forward to the next occasion. This time I was in Yubaba's office, and found myself looking down at the bloody dragon from of me.
"HAKU!" Chihiro screamed, sprinting into the room. She grabbed me, and shoved the Kashira ((A/N: The three heads in Yubaba's office.)) aside. "What are you doing?" Then she shook me slightly. "Haku, are you okay? Can you hear me?" She turned to the Kashira who were still grunting their annoyance, "Shut your mouth!" It was kind of amusing to watch the Kashira listen to a ten-year-old human. She bent down back over my form once again. "Haku!" Then, Yubaba's bird began attacking her, trying to get her hold on me loose so the Kashira could push me down the shaft. "Stop it!" She cried, snatching me back.
Boh came out, and then Zeniba appeared. Then I realized how much she went through to reach me. She dashed up to Yubaba's office to save me, regardless of her safety. I stopped swimming, and floated in my river, thinking. Why did she do these things? She could have easily gotten herself killed, or worse if Yubaba caught her. What was her incentive?
"What do you want with Haku? He's badly hurt!" Chihiro cried, hugging my head tighter to her chest.
Zeniba snorted. "Too bad. He stole my solid gold seal. It's magic and powerful, and I want it back!"
Chihiro shook her head vigorously, "Haku wouldn't steal, he's a good person!"
My heart broke. I was far from a good person; plenty of the bathhouse workers knew that. Now, I'm unaware if their opinions have changed, but still. But, when she said it… I almost believed it myself. It got me thinking… am I? I've let her down so many times, yet she trusts me like I've never let her fall. Why does she do it? Am I really worth it?
The memory faded, my heart heavy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Once again, I looked on from another person's view. Surprisingly, I was having a small amount of fun taking a trip down memory lane. It's reminding me of the times where things were much easier than they are now.
I saw Chihiro fall from my back, and land on top of Kamaji. I held onto the wooden walls of the boiler room, wood from the fan falling down to the ground with a clatter.
Chihiro jumped up off Kamaji and came to stand directly in front of me. "Haku, what's wrong with you?"
"This looks serious." Kamaji said gravely, coming off his pedestal to stand behind her. I collapsed to the floor, unable to hold myself up any longer.
She kneeled down before me and looked down, eyes filled with more determination than fear. "Haku, don't give up!" When I didn't move, she turned fearfully to Kamaji. "What do I do? Is he dying?"
"He looks like he's dying on the inside."
"The inside?"
"I think so. Maybe he swallowed something." Kamaji said. Chihiro reached into her pocket and pulled out a… fuzzy green ball?
So THAT'S what tasted absolutely disgusting! Then it hit me, what was the POINT of these memories? I figured that I would find my answer soon enough, so I just stayed silent. She put the ball in my mouth, and I coughed up the seal and slug. Events played out, and Rin eventually came in. She questioned Chihiro, and the little girl admitted that she let No-Face in. That was something new for me too.
"Sen, what about No-Face?" Rin asked.
"I'll take care of that now." She replied, and walked over to kneel down next to the mat that I was laying on. "Haku, I'll be back soon. Just hold on."
I saw something reflected in her eyes, something I've always wanted to see. She… no, she was ten in this memory; she couldn't possibly… or could she? Hope replaced the doubt flowing in my veins.
Rin eyed the both of us curiously, and whispered out of the side of her mouth to Kamaji. "What's going on?"
The boiler man smiled. "Something you wouldn't recognize. It's called love."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The memory faded, and everything clicked. She never gave up on me, trusted me, always stood behind me… because she loved me. I took off upstream, swimming against the current with ease. I wanted to bash myself against the rocky banks of the river. How insane, idiotic, simple-minded… and stupid could I get? Other memories flashed before me, recent ones, but I paid them no heed. I just raced back to where Chihiro was standing. That's all that mattered.
((End POV))
Haku silently broke the surface, slowly melding back into his human form. His emerald gaze was settled upon a young woman. Her head was bent down, her eyes closed. He slowly approached her, the water not even making a sound, thus not alerting his presence.
Haku slowly kneeled down in front of Chihiro, and looked up into her serene face with hope and some traces of hurt. "Chihiro… my ai... ((A?N: ai love in Japanese))look at me…" he breathed.
Her head jerked up and looked at him with watery eyes. "I'm sorry Haku… I'm so sorry for yesterday… I just wasn't expecting it, that's all. I really do though…"
"You really what?" He asked, his voice hoarse. He knew what… but he just had to hear it.
She smiled, knowing exactly what he wanted to hear from her. "I… I love you Haku." The words lit up her face, for they truly came from the heart. "I've been so lonely lately, and the Druids have brought me nothing but pain. I just want to be loved…"
Haku laughed with relief, and reached a hand up to touch her cheek. "Little one, you all ready are." He said softly.
((Chihiro's POV))
He carried me back into the house, his face all alight with happiness. He let me change into some dry clothes, while he did the same. I found him in the library, sitting on a couch, starring at the coffee table. I walked in, and his head shot up. He broke into a grin when he saw me.
"There you are."
I smiled, coming over to sit down next to him. "Here I am." I answered. Haku chuckled, and wrapped an arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder with a content sigh. Well, it was a bit of a scare for a while, but now it was worth it. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
Haku's brow furrowed, and he stood up. "I'll be right back." He told me, and left the library to answer it. I got up off the couch and followed him.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I found him in the entrance hall, talking with whomever it was that had come calling. I thought no one knew where this place was…
"Perun!" I cried, coming into the room. Both men turned around, and Haku cringed. Evidently he didn't want me to be here, but to bad, so sad; I am. I walked briskly up to the pair of them, my eyes still on the former Druid. "Perun, why are you here?"
He took in a shaky breath. "I told Haku before you two left that Kallisto would most likely launch an attack to get both of you, which is why we saw it best for the both of you to lie low. As planned, she attacked. The bathhouse… the bathhouse is having some serious problems, and we can't keep it the place defended."
"You need more magic spirits." I said simply.
When Perun nodded his head, Haku raised a hand. "If we're coming back, it's just me."
I turned to look up at him, aghast. "What do you mean just you?"
"Chihiro, I'm not going to put you in danger-"
"Well, I'm NOT going to sit here and wait for something to happen to you! I'm coming with you whether you like it or not."
Haku frowned at me. "I can't Chihiro, you mean to much to everyone here, especially me. You need to stay."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I can't believe it. He actually left me here. He was gone at the crack of dawn the next day while I was still asleep. Well, if he thinks I'm going to sit here like a good little girl...
Then he's got something else coming!
A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update! The site was being weird for the past few days, so sorry everyone! Well, I hope you liked this chapter, cause I had a lot of fun writing it. Anyway, the character that angelofblades543 lent to me is coming next chapter, so keep you're eyes open for him!
The following people reviewed, and they all have my highest thanks:
Addicted to Magna - Glad it's not boring! And yes, the Druids aren't giving up yet... oh boy.
Kataan
Giddyupgal - Yeah, I love the spell check button ((lol)) Yes, perfect time to freeze up huh? Well, I certainly hope that this chapter fixed that!
wintersnowfalls
Helena of Athens - Wait, you used to be Goddess of Grammar right? Okay, just checking. Yeah, last chapter was kinda sad, but does this fix things? heheh
angelofblades543 - He comes next chapter! Yay!
annoying-little-girl - More fluff! hehe!
Priestess Kohana - I'm a fantastic writer? Really? Aw, you give me to much credit ((blushes)) Glad you think so, and here's the next chapter for you!
StrugglingArtist
Mushrambolover - I hope this chapter answered your question.
AnimeFreakKatie
Tailz the Great
Thanks so much everyone, and I'm planning on dedicating the next chapter to one of you guys! Don't worry about checking everday, that nice little email does it for you. Well, I hoped you liked this chapter, and the next chapter is hopefully coming this weekend!
-Vincent's Angel of Chaos-
Disclaimer: Nothing... just the Druids.